"Got something, Joe?" Starwind asked, staring at his terminal.
"Ten or so failed simulations." VonBach paused, "And an idea you won't like."
Starwind's gaze remained fixed on the terminal, "Go ahead."
"Sir, if I may, what are you doing?" VonBach said, a little confused.
Starwind finally looked at VonBach, "How meny crew members you think served on Stragger?" Starwind paused, "More than I care to write letters to the families of. More than enough so that a military funeral for each one isn't feasible. In short, far too many. Too many lives cut short by these monsters." Starwind paused, "Your idea, Commander?"
VonBach handed Starwind a padd, "We're calling it a Fusion Catalyst. Our idea is based on the atomic weaponry of 20th Century Earth. The general idea behind it is atomic fusion. When fusion occurs, there is a giant surge of energy, with heavy explosive potential. This will provide the F.C. with the power required to ignite three sperate mass explosions; a giant multiphasic explosion, an electromagnetic surge, and a repulsion wave. I worked on the idea during my brief time with Starfleet R&D, but they rejected the idea. Too risky. Any group with that kind of destructive potential... well the diplomats say that isn't the best way to make friends. Plus we weren't sure how to make it totally safe. The device would be very unstable and would kill indiscriminately. Not to mention we have no safe way to activate it."
"Get me a design drafted in one hour. We have twenty to build he thing. I'll let you know if I approve soon." Starwind went back to looking at his terminal, "Dismissed."
As VonBach exited, the ship's councilor, Lieutenant Commander Amy West, entered.
"Because I don't have a lot on my plate right now, the crew chats like this take precedence." Starwind said sarcastically, "Sit, Miss West."
She did so, "Are you well?"
"Fine." Starwind's gaze was again fixed on his console.
West paused, "You know, I've heard empaths make the best councilors, but that's never stopped me. See, right now, it wouldn't take an empath to know you're lying. Even an unjoined half-Trill like me can do it."
Starwind turned away from the console again, "It's the Stragger. As the man in charge of the mission, that ship and her crew were my responsibility. But that's a guilt a Captain has to deal with." He paused, choosing his words carefully, "What really bothers me is a thought that has danced around my head for two hours now, since the news came in from Bajor; are we any better? I mean, had you and I lived the lives of some of these Federation officers, odds are we'd be sitting in this fleet with a different goal in mind than the one we have now. We'd be monsters like Admiral Walker. I mean, for all we know, you and I have counterparts on one of these ships who are ready to go and kill everyone on Earth. The potential for-we are no better than them."
"You don't know that."
"Don't I? What's different between my counterpart and myself? Besides life experiences?"
"You aspire, Victor." West smiled at him, "A wise man once said, 'To aspire to be more than you are is the very nature of what is to be human.'" She paused, "That was Jean-Luc Picard, in his eulogy to the android life form Data. It took someone's death to realize the importance of one's aspirations before. Don't make that happen again."
"What are you saying?" Starwind asked.
West thought about how to phrase it, "No sole who would oppress a people for being orn in a certain place and then kill them for it aspires to be a berrer person, because these are not the acts of any definition of a 'better person'. But in knowing this crew, and the Federation, I have learned that we all share the aspiration to evolve into a greater person over time. To become, in essence, more human with each act. You can't let yourself fall to self-blame for stuff you didn't do."
"Thank you, Amy." Starwind nodded.
"You would like help writing the letters to the family, yes?" West asked.
"Sure." Starwind sighed.