The wind whistled through the long drain pipe, making a haunting and forlorn sound.
Walking to the end, Naruto looked over the edge, seeing the village below him. Everything looked peaceful from up here.
He was near the top of the great cliff, not far from the first of the carven Hokage faces. Risking life and limb, he had slid down the hillside, then caught the lip of the pipe with one hand.
Shaking his head, he laughed when he found he was still quivering.
That had been too close. He never knew that Hinata was so fast…… or so persistent. He also never would have expected that she would know what half of those words meant!
Boy, when she came to her senses, would she be embarrassed.
If she told Kurenai what she had done, the jounin would probably blame him somehow. He would end up a good bit worse off than 'embarrassed.' He just hoped it wouldn't be 'emasculated.'
"Geeeez!!!"
Sighing, he prepared to hold a spirited debate with himself. One possible option? He could make his way down to the village, then try to sneak past as many women as possible while trying to get into see one of the male Elders. The other option? He could stay up here for a while.
Checking his pouch, he smiled when he found a number of bars of Trail Food. He could last a day or two with those provisions. It might get rather cold up here at night, however. That would be a problem.
He couldn't make a fire at the far end of the pipe…… there wasn't enough ventilation there. And, he couldn't make one up at this end…… someone would see it at night….
He saw a number of small rocks fall past his vantage point. Then, a steady trickle followed.
"Ahhhh Shit!"
Someone must have seen him. Who was it this time. His money was on Hinata. He had thought that she seemed to give up too easily.
He ran towards the far end of the pipe. When he reached the vertical portion, he shimmied up a little at a time. Eventually he reached a large storm grate. Pushing with all of his might, he couldn't budge it.
No matter.
Using a jutsu to break off the metalwork and a rim of rock around it, he prepared to leave. First, he decided to use his head some. Holding his chakra together, he lifted a larger slab of rock and covered the opening with it.
Ha!
Let's see whoever was following move that anytime soon!
It was no time to gloat, however. Maybe the presumed girl following him couldn't reach him any time soon, but others could. The pair of Rangers walking look-out along the cliff edge saw him. At first they were very authoritative before they underwent the usual changes.
The game of fox and hound they played was a dangerous one, as the trail they ran along often veered very close to the cliff edge at spots. But, even as tired as he was, Naruto was shinobi and they were not.
He could have chosen his techniques better, though.
Feeling exasperated, he had reacted out of anger and spite. Pulling water from a nearby stream, he had performed Suiton, Suiryuudan no Jutsu, drenching the amorous women from head to toe. If their infatuation died down, they might still have reason to apprehend him.
Roaming though a stretch of woods after losing his pursuers, Naruto came across another scene involving a pair of his friends.
It was Neji and Ten Ten.
"I gave thought to what you said." Neji paced back and forth, as if he were troubled by something. "There is more to life than training and growing stronger." He tensed up some. "I'm just not certain if I am willing to trust anyone that much yet."
"Do you think that I might break your heart? Or, are you worried that I might betray you somehow, the way you once thought that the Main family had?" Ten Ten walked around picked up sickles, kunai, and other weapons they had been practicing with.
"I'm not sure. I have grown to respect my uncle. I make an effort to train Hinata. I do not resent Hanabi being the heir. I have even formed strong friendships. So, I know that change is possible. But…." Neji looked up at the trees. Using Byakugan, he tried to determine the number of birds.
"Neji, all I can say is watch me. Watch how I act around you. Watch my face around you. That should give you the only answers you really need." Ten Ten stopped, looking in the direction from which Naruto came.
Naruto slowly tried to creep away, without being detected. He had already messed up one personal encounter today.
"I….. I will risk it then…… I will judge your sincerity by the way you act…." Neji grinned, causing Ten Ten to smile happily.
Someone walked into view.
It was Hinata again. How had she gotten out of that drain pipe? Did she climb back up the cliff face? Was that her causing the rocks to fall?
"Brother Neji…… Ten Ten…… have you seen Naruto?" Hinata glanced around the area, causing Naruto to flatten his back against a large sycamore tree. "I keep acting strangely around him today and…… I ummm…… I want to…… I need to apologize to him…… otherwise he might…… he might hate me…."
Ten Ten shook her head. She didn't want to remember her own strange behavior. Especially with Neji standing right there.
"I do not judge Naruto to be the type to hate anyone unnecessarily," Neji said. "The reason that I find myself caring for T---" Neji sighed, looking at Ten Ten. "The reason I find myself with a meaningful life is because of his good heart. The same can be said of your life too, Hinata. Do not worry for the sake of being worried."
Picking up a shuriken, Ten Ten fingered a small plant. It was recently broken. The footprint near it was not her own, or one of Neji's.
She caught Hinata's eye and pointed to her finding. Hinata nodded, then made a hand signal to Neji. The two of them moved two locations that allowed sufficient overlap, then performed Byakuga.
"Naruto?" Neji asked. He knew that someone was there.
"There he is!" It was the two Rangers. They had brought along a number of other women, the bunch of them spread out in a long sweeping line.
"Yeh….. Hey, Neji…… I wish I could stay and talk, but…." Naruto was soon surrounded, though the women in uniforms were still a good distance away.
Even worse, the Rangers all began blowing whistles.
"Naruto-kun! " Hinata first stepped behind a tree, then gathered up her courage and walked towards Naruto. She was fidgeting even more than usual, and stopped every few steps.
Neji began walking over too, as did Ten Ten.
"Are these people enemies, Naruto?" Neji frowned, looking at the Rangers as they began running. He took up his fighting stance.
"Well-l-l-l-l…… no…." Naruto said, trying to laugh. "Let's just say some weird shit has been going on today…." He looked at Ten Ten and Hinata, swallowing hard.
If they got too much closer.
"Let's just say there's been a misunderstanding…." He thought a moment. "I would be grateful if you could delay them a while…."
He had hoped that Hinata and Ten Ten would stop walking closer, then volunteer to help.
No such luck.
In fact, the two of them started smiling slyly. While they couldn't actually smell anything, the vomeronasal organ in their noses had picked up the windborne pheromones.
"You can come back with me, Naruto-kun. Father and Hanabi are off on business." Once again, Hinata seemed to be at odds with herself. She was aghast at the words she spoke.
"We can be alone…… all night…." Hinata ran her hand through her hair. "What do you like for breakfast?" She jerked, but couldn't get herself to stop.
Neji looked shocked.
"Uhhh…… Neji…." Naruto was very concerned. If he ran, the two girls would likely follow. He had waited too long. "I think it would be wise for you to hold Ten Ten there…." He cursed under his breath. It was a good idea, but it sounded funny. In any case, he soon realized that he was too late.
"I don't understand…." Nei now looked puzzled.
"He won't be going anywhere withy you, small fry!" Ten Ten said, smirking at Hinata. "He'll be coming with me. We can't go to my parent's house," she said, staring at Naruto. "But I have more than enough money for a hotel room…."
"It's not what they r-e-a-l-l-y mean, Neji…." Naruto held up his hands.
Hinata clenched her fists.
"You will do nothing with my Naruto-kun. Content yourself with my cousin. That is where your affection should lie!"
"Ha! You don't own Naruto. And Neji certainly doesn't own me. Let's have Naruto decide who he'll sleep with…. unless you're ready for a match…. winner take all…."
Naruto's jaw fell open. It was no surprise that women were fighting over him again; but Ten Ten's choice of words had him feeling like his legs had turned to jelly.
Neji glowered at Ten Ten, then began walking away.
"It's not what they truly mean, Neji…." Naruto's comments seemed to fall on deaf ears.
He suddenly went ramrod stiff, listening. He heard the barking of dogs. The Rangers had called for Konoha's canine squad. If the current batch of animals had been trained by the Inuzuka clan, then he was in trouble.
He couldn't delay any longer, trying to diffuse the situation.
For the umpteenth time that day, he ran. Everything seemed a blur. There were Rangers. There were slavering hounds. There were trees, gravel paths, roads, and the every growing crowd.
Not able to make his way to the Gate, Naruto had no choice but to lose his pursuers in the Konoha populace.
But that meant….
Desperate, Naruto decided it might be good to have someone hide him for a while. That person could keep a look-out for him, and prevent any woman from coming to close too his place of concealment.
Darting about the various areas of the village, he had no success at first. He had wanted to reach Kakashi or one of the other older guys, but that hadn't panned out. It turned out that most of them had left on separate missions.
Risking capture by staying out in the open so long, Naruto stopped by Choji's home, Lee's apartment, Shino's place, and Kiba's house. None of them had been home. Kiba's sister had been around, however, and had set all of the family dogs out to slow him down That had been a rather hectic chase until he reached a part of the village with trees and closely set buildings.
After the scene with Ino, he wouldn't stop by Shikamaru's.
Knocking on the back door of one shop, then ducking down to hide behind a row of dumpsters, Naruto kept looking around while he waited for an answer. He banged even louder, feeling exposed.
The door opened.
"Young man, what are you doing down there. Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?" Mr. Ikabachi scratched his head, wondering why one of his best customers from years past hadn't simply used the front door of the noodle shop.
"N-No… no doctors!" Naruto shook his head. "Can I come in? I need help!"
"Well…." The man wiped his greasy hand off on his apron, then put a large ladle down on a counter just inside the door. "If you are not in any trouble with the authorities."
"I'm not," Naruto said, uncertain if that were exactly true, given the state he had left the medical facilities in, and the run-in with the Rangers. "Is your daughter Ayame here today?" Naruto had his fingers crossed.
"No, she isn't" Mr. Ikabachi said. "Here, come on in…… I'll get you a nice bowl of Ramen…."
"Thank you." Naruto walked into the shop, relieved.
Finally, a bit of good fortune!!!
"Mei…… Mei, I need a bowl of noodles back here…."
Naruto froze. Mei?
"OK, uncle!" It was a girl's voice.
"Ayame's cousin will bring you the Ramen. She's a cute girl. Doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment…." The shop owner smiled.
Naruto flinched, hearing the sound of broken ceramics. A bowl and noodles lay at the feet of a young woman, an apron barely hiding her attractive figure. Her eyes blinked rapidly.
Then she grinned.
"I see something on the menu that I want!" She quickly moved to block the rear door. "Uncle, the young man and I need to be alone. There's cooking to do!"
"Mei? Cooking? The stoves are in the other room…." Mr. Ikabachi scowled, rubbing his chin.
"NOW, UNCLE!!!"
"Thanks anyway!" Naruto waved as he jumped through one door and then did a body roll over a long bank of burners and a huge grate-work grill. Landing on his feet, he cursed, seeing the long line of people snaking its way back from the counter, blocking the front door.
A woman was at the cashier, ordering. She pointed at Naruto.
"I'LL HAVE THAT! "
Her request was soon echoed by the other women in line.
Naruto knew that he would be in seriously trouble, should he do anything that hurt the women. Especially, since there were numerous witnesses, many of whom could be friends or significant others. But, if he didn't resist, he could be taken down like an antelope by lionesses.
"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!" Exerting his will, he used his chakra to the utmost. Soon, there were more Naruto copies than there were customers. "If you will…… everyone pick a lady…… and move her out of the way…… gently…."
A number of women forcibly kissed the clones, causing them to vanish. Realizing they had been tricked, they grew even more determined, but there were plenty of clones to make up the difference.
Shirt torn, and his belt snapped in half, Naruto made it to the street and began running like a man possessed. He realized that the faster he ran, the less likely that nearby women would have a reaction. No, that was not necessarily true. It was less likely that he would be at the precise spot when they did react.
Moving stealthily from rooftop to roof top, he had time to catch his breath. Women on the street below were slowly going through the changes, but they seemed unable to pinpoint his location. When one lady stepped out onto her veranda and caught sight of him, her lustful shout gave him away.
Dropping down to the street, he began flashing from site to site, outrunning most of the trouble. He stopped at one point, when he heard a dog barking. He wasn't usually able to tell dogs by their noise; but, somehow, he decided that the dog sounded like Akamaru.
It was.
Akamaru was yapping, trying to get his attention. Soon enough, Kiba caught up with his canine companion.
"Naruto! Over here! I want to talk with you!" Kiba pointed to an old broken hut, one of the few old structures showing damage from Kyuubi's rampage without being having beem razed or repaired. "Akamaru will stand guard…."
Pushing aside an old rotting door, the two shinobi walked inside and greeted one another. Kiba seemed very eager for some reason, having a lot of questions for Naruto. He wanted to know just what kind of situations he had experienced with the women.
Word had begun getting around town.
Naruto gave him a brief synopsis, which had Kiba laughing until Naruto quieted him.
"You lucky dog!"Kiba said, chuckling. "Did Shino catch up with you?"
"Yes…… but he never got to tell me anything…." Naruto looked hopeful. Maybe Kiba knew what Shinoi did.
"Really? Oh, ho ho ho! I get to be the one then. You won't believe it…." Kiba repeated what Shino had told him and Hinata.
"Damn. But wait…… I took a bath…." Naruto looked perplexed, but then closed his eyes and smacked his forehead. "I am a moron. A complete and total idiot!" He sighed, shaking his head. "My clothes!"
"We all know that…." Kiba laughed, slapping Naruto on the back. "But, this is justice, man."
"Huh?" Naruto stuck out his lower lip, looking belligerent.
"Well, you defeated me in our fight by the use of…… scent…." Kiba chuckled.
"Shit!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Yes. Close enough…." Kiba slapped his knee. Listening by the door, Akamaru howled in laughter.
"I've got to get back to my room," Naruto said, rubbing his chin. "I can toss my clothes out of the window…… take a shower…… then put on some fresh things." He pumped his fist. He had the answer.
And there was an attainable goal I sight!
"If you like, I'll wear your shirt and lead them away…." Kiba rubbed his hands together. He was also very aware of a small phial in his pocket, pressing against his leg.
"No!" Naruto shook his head. "You're a good friend, but I won't let you take that risk." Naruto stretched, ready to head on his way.
Kiba cursed under his breath. Then, she sighed.
His time would come….
As Naruto took to running again, he felt confident for the first time that day. His dormitory was far across the village, but he had a route mapped out in his head.
This should be possible!
He would go a little bit out of his way, but could stick to the areas of lighter traffic that way. Yes. Run through some gardens. Streak past some personal residences. Go from tree top to tree top. Use the rooftops again.
"Dig it!"
Before he knew it, he would be luxuriating in a nice warm shower, all soaped up, with every trace of the pheromones gone. After that, when every one knew what had happened, he would be off the hook.
Well…… mostly….
Dashing through a series of tall hedges, and leaving Naruto-shaped openings in his wake, he prepared to hurdle over one side-street that was bordered by high stone walls and old fortifications. Just before he leaped, he received a nasty surprise.
The younger shinobi were very talented. They were adept at using whatever materials they had at hand. Ari, Kaiko, and Hotaru had caught wind of him and were on his trail. They had joined their long-strap purses together, forming a bolo of sorts.
The spinning contrivance wrapped itself around Naruto's legs, causing him to stumble just as he was about to take his last long stride.
"What the…."
He bounced hard off of the wall, then began rolling down a slope at the edge of that structure. Just as he was steamrolling the last row of flowers on the hill, he heard a familiar voice.
"That's right. We don't have an explanation yet, but when that boy is brought before me, I am going to have some words for him…."
It was Tsunade. She was standing with Shizune, Anko, Kurenai, and the violet-haired ANBU member. They all turned to look at him when he landed with a loud 'Oooooph!!!'
The Hokage's eyes went glassy, and she finished her statement with different words than she had originally intended.
"And those words will be YES…… YES…… YES-S-S-S….. YES-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S…."
Tsunade put her hands together and cracked her knuckles.
"Hmmmm…." Kuneai shook her head, but couldn't shake the effect of the pheromones. "And 'DON'T STOP….. DON"T YOU EVER STOP-P-P-P-P…."
She tossed her hair, then began to frown when she saw the other women move close to Naruto, who quickly grabbed a kunai and slice through the purse straps.
A number of inarticulate noises had them all looking up. Ari, Kaiko, and Hotaru were sliding down.
They weren't the only women converging on the scene. Fully clothed, the temple women had been walking past, intent on obtaining a medical opinion that might explain their sudden shameless behavior.
Women that Naruto recognized from the Ramen shop also happened to be strolling along that street, heading home with their suppers.
"I have a question," Anko said, bumping aside Kurenai and a wordless Shizune. "Naruto, do you smoke when you're done?"
"Uhhh…." Naruto swallowed hard.
"Because if you do, that will be a sight to see. After that, you can have a cigarette…." Anko chuckled, then spat, seeing a number of the approaching women reach into their purses and take out packs of smokes.
Naruto was a true believer in the concept of 'safety in numbers.' This time, it worked in a different manner. The large number of women meant that they would be busy arguing and fighting with one another, while he was able to slip free.
But, as he began to run, they put their differences aside momentarily, and began chasing after him, trampling anyone and everyone in their path.
Uncertain exactly what jutsus he used, Naruto tried one technique after another. He hoped that no one would be hurt, and that the damage would be kept to a minimum.
But, he was not in any state to plan carefully.
A large swamp rose up in the center of one busy avenue, while small fires popped into existence, and strong sheet-like blades of wind knocked many women on their duffs. Waves of mud solidified here and there, and the normally decorative vines along some fences grew huge, wrapping around ankles and claves.
A huge number of Naruto clones used some of the vines to hogtie the hormonally-charged ladies.
"I must have done something bad in another life!"
Naruto had been driven away from his chosen route, but was finally getting close to his dormitory. Just a few more streets to cross, and a few alleys to hurry down. But, he couldn't afford a leisurely pace, even though there were few people in sight.
The noise coming from a few blocks over was fearful.
Walking down one quaint tree-lined avenue, with its old style apartments and small walled-in courtyards, he stopped and tried to reverse his direction.
He did not want to go through this a third time today!
Lee was standing with a large bouquet of flowers in his hands. And, miracle of miracles, he was not wearing a green stretchy suit. Spiffily clad, he was in the process of handing the cut blossoms to Sakura.
Sakura was scowling, seeing Naruto. Lee, however, was ecstatic.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOH!" The large-eyed boy struck one of his Gai-approved poses, the light shining off of his triply-brushed teeth. "NARUTO!!!" He began heading towards his friend. "YOU CAN CELEBRATE MY SUCCESS!!!" Grabbing Naruto firmly by the arm, he dragged the struggling boy towards Sakura.
Naruto let his weight fall to the ground, but the trick didn't work. Lee was stronger than he looked. The smiling boy practically carried Naruto by his belt loop.
"Lee! Just let me head home and shower. Then I'll celebrate with you all you like!" Naruto didn't want to do anything that might hurt his friend, but he was afraid he knew what might happen if he didn't.
"Let him go, Lee. You should do your celebrating with me, right?" Sakura had her hands at her hips. Her countenance was clouding over, but she didn't show any signs of conversion yet.
"AHHHHHHHHH!" Lee spoke loudly. "But this is a momentous occasion. You have said you are not interested in anyone else. My perseverance has paid off, as you have accepted my request for a date. I will not have to do five hundred leg kicks this afternoon." He put Naruto down, all too close to Sakura. "OOOOOOOOOOOH! The burning heart of Konoha has lit the torch in our hearts!!!"
Sakura's eyes rolled back in her head for a moment.
Naruto began running. But, he was too late. The pink-haired ninja used a technique she had learned from her mentor.
Sakura's Chuusuusei Biribiri turned her chakra into anelectrical pulse that was transmitted into her erstwhile team mate's body. The electrical impulse traveled up his brain stem and disrupted the flow of electricity in his nervous system.
It had been a glancing blow to the neck, so much of the energy missed its target. But, Naruto was unable to coordinate his movement for the moment.
Sakura sauntered up, put her arms slowly around a twitching Naruto, and gave him a long deep kiss. She then began unbuttoning her blouse. Naruto would have been in heaven three years ago, but was not so eager for that kiss now.
"Lee, you still here?" Sakura laughed. "Do you like to watch?"
Lee looked like he had been frozen solid.
Kyuubi's chakra helping Naruto recover quickly than he would have on his own, the discombobulated shinobi regained the proper use of his limbs and broke free of Sakura's grasp.
Once again he ran.
To the dormitory. Through the door he tugged off of its hinges. Up the stairway four stairs at a time. Sliding on the rug one person had outside his door. Over to his own door, then through it, letting it swing closed behind him. Across his living room floor, clothes flying in all directions, leaving an impromptu trail behind him. Finally, into the bathroom, where he turned the shower on.
Safe.
After all that, he was finally safe.
Now that he knew the reason for everything, he had nothing to worry about. He would clean off first. The clothes could stay where they were until he was done. If he tossed them out the window initially, crazed women might storm the building before he washed away the pheromones.
The water streaming into his face, he didn't catch sight of the bathroom door opening. Singing 'Love Potion Number 9,' he didn't hear anyone undress, or notice a small growing pile of clothing on the bathroom floor.
He suddenly felt shocked.
A small hand grabbed hold of the half-opened shower curtain and slid it all of the way open.
Hinata stood there.
Naked.