Disclaimer: (sings) She's so lucky, she owns Saiyuki. I can't make a single penny off my work.

Warning: (sings) Once I was alone, I was dying. The things on the ground were from my inside. But then a man came along, with hair the color of blood, and this this is our story; this is how we carried on.

Chapter 4: Das Ende

Though a bit confused and flustered with his encounter with Sanzo seconds past, Gojyo was done smoking, and ready to face Hakkai. He knew now (though he had suspected earlier) that it was not just by chance that he was rooming with Hakkai – the stupid monkey had switched up the rooming. Damn, I guess I should try to be more discrete when I'm in love with someone next time, huh? He though sarcastically. Secretly, though, he smiled to himself, glad the monkey had found out, because he'd probably never had worked up enough nerve to get a room with Hakkai. Odd, since they'd lived in the same house – even shared the same bed, for a while – not just a few months ago.

When Gojyo returned from his musings, he found he was stalled in front of his room door. Ugh, since when have I ever had trouble with someone I wanted to fuck? Then again, when have I ever been in love? The word love reverberated in his head, making him realize he'd finally admitted this was more than lust (though he did think of this word earlier, but for some reason it did not have the same effect). He sighed. All right, I'm just going to get this over with. If Hakkai is disgusted with me, then I'll go out and drown myself in alcohol and lay some whores like I always do. But, if he accepts me… Now that was a thought. What if Hakkai actually accepted him? He hadn't realized it, but he'd always been expecting to get discarded like last weeks trash.

"Stop thinking about it," came a voice. Gojyo whirled around to meet the eyes of – Sanzo? But… but hadn't he just..? What? Ah! This was all too confusing, Gojyo about collapsed. "You've been standing at that door for a good five minutes now. Just stop thinking about what's going to happen, and get your ass in there." Sanzo said, as if what had happened not ten minutes ago had ever happened. How could he do that?

Gojyo pulled his normal grin, "You know me too well," he said, as he did not think his worried state had been that easy to read.

"Whatever. Are you going to stand out here talking to me, or are you going to go in there and face Hakkai like a man?"

Gojyo's face went somber for a moment, but was soon lit up with a confident smile, "Thanks." He said simply, and silently slipped into his room to see what his fate was.

♥♦♣♠

Hakkai looked up from where he was reading, on the window sill, when Gojyo came in. "Ah, you finally came in. I heard you come up to the door a while ago, and was beginning to think it was just my imagination." He said, a little laugh added in at the end of his dialogue. Gojyo just sighed, looking as if he was sick. "Gojyo, are you okay, you don't look too well…"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Hakkai. I.. I just finally admitted something to myself and am trying to deal with it." Hakkai was a bit thrown off by that. Admitted something? Coping with it? This was rather unlike Gojyo.

"Are.. Are you sure you're all right?" He asked again, still afraid for his friends health.

"Depends," Gojyo said. "In what aspect am are you asking if I am all right?" Hakkai's brow furrowed.

"All aspects, of course." He said, still confused, and a bit uncomfortable.

"Then, no."

"What's wrong?"

"You."

"Me?" Hakkai asked, feeling his chest tighten and the swell of tears. What had he done to hurt Gojyo, his best friend, whom he cared for with all his life?

"Don't cry," Gojyo said, wiping the tears that Hakkai just now realized ran down his cheeks. "You didn't do anything wrong," Hakkai stopped the small trickle of tears and lifted his head to look Gojyo in the eye, but instead his lips received a message. Hakkai was confused for a moment, until he realized whom the other set of lips belonged to: Gojyo. He was too stunned to move – it was as if someone had turned him into stone.

Gojyo quickly pulled away, a furious blush on his beautiful skin. He looked at Hakkai and misinterpreted his lack of movement. Sighing, he said, "I didn't know how to express that in words, I'm sorry. I'll go now, you don't have to worry about me." He turned to go, but a hand caught his arm.

"Goj… yo." Hakkai said, tears streaming down his face.

"Great, I made you cry. Look, I'll just go now, okay?" He tried to pry Hakkai's hand off his arm, but he shook his head.

"That's not why I'm crying," said Hakkai, whipping away the tears. "I never knew you felt that way about me. I had caught you staring at me a few times and other semi-suspicious behavior, but it never clicked, I always assumed your attentions were elsewhere," Gojyo gaped. "Ever since you saved my life, even Kanan has been only second to you. I… I never expected you to return my feelings."

Gojyo was stunned. He'd never had guessed that Hakkai's feelings and his were mutual. And… being before Kanan? That was just about too much to handle. But he couldn't collapse; Hakkai'd already taken that role, and was now sitting on one of the beds trying to hold back his tears. Gojyo sat down next to him and gathered him up in his lap like a small child. He kissed his forehead gently and softly spoke into his ear, "I love you, Hakkai."

"I love you, too, Gojyo."

-Das Ende-
Author's Note: Ah! I know that I promised a lemon, but I just went all fluff and couldn't see it fitting in. I'm sorry! So, now that it doesn't have a lemon, I'm wondering if the rating should stay the same or go down? Help me – I suck at ratings! Oh, and sorry for the delay: I had finals (though, with my grades I could have gotten a 0 on 'em and still passed). I may write a follow-up to this, or something like that, and if I do, I will try my best to treat y'all to a lemon, as that promise was not fulfilled in this. (Is bombarded with squeaking cat and dog toys.) NOOO! I'm sorry! If you're reading this after I change(d) chapter 3's promise, you are not allowed to through things at me: only the people that read chapter 3 before 1/27/05. I hope you like it! Thank you all for reading, and check out my DD songfic! Love ya! –Meow.