"Fine!"
"Fine!"
They both shouted, their voices echoing throughout the dojo. One remained where he was, and the other stomped out of the house. The other occupants of the house went on with their respective duties as if they've never heard the heated argument. Like it was natural. Like it was suppose to happen every single day of their lives.
Akane walked faster than she had ever walked in her life, holding her breath as well as her tears. In her hand was a small key, a key to a small, new car her father had given her just last month on her eighteenth birthday. There was no use running away every time they had a fight only to be found by him in a matter of minutes. Ranma always knew where to find her, and even when a part of her was glad about that little piece of information, her heart ached about knowing every time it happened, he went for her to say it's time to go home- not a single apology came from his lips.
And that she ignored all the time. She shoved every single feeling of hurt and rejection deep inside, masking her face with a smile and her usual "Ranma, you big baka!" just to conceal everything she felt. But this, this argument she had with him made her snap out. Made her realize she can no longer hide behind her mask, because he had just worked his way deep down her core and crushed her. And he can't just go looking for her and say it's time for dinner anymore. She won't let him.
She walked passed the garden where Kasumi was hanging the newly laundered clothes. "Akane, where are you going? Dinner would be ready in a hour, I suggest you come back…" her words hanging, the eldest Tendo daughter watched her little sister walk away with a worry frown on her face. Kasumi turned her head from the direction which Akane had come from, and saw a bedroom door slamming shut. Ranma.
Akane reached her navy blue Volkswagen and angrily went inside. She sat there for a couple of minutes, her breathing uneven. She had to go to a place where Ranma couldn't find her, somewhere far from home. But where will I go? I haven't been going out too much to actually know far places… Ranma will surely find me easily if I just park somewhere near. But she couldn't just let the same incident happen again. She don't want to be the loser; the one who always end up sucking her feelings and just forgive Ranma when he can't even say a single "sorry". If he thinks he could fix this by just coming up to me and taking me home as if nothing happened, well…well I-I won't let him. I just couldn't take his insensitivity anymore. With a final decision, she turned the engine on, held onto the steering wheel, and sped off to where her car and her heart can take her. Unfortunately, she didn't notice the black clouds covering the blue sky and the swaying of the trees became stronger- a strong, windy rain threatening to fall.
Genma Saotome was waiting for dinner to be served at the dining table when he chanced upon the sky from the window. "The weather's telling me it's going to rain hard. Is everyone inside already?" he asked no one in the room.
The door opened and an exhausted-looking Kasumi came in, her arms full of clothes. "Akane took her car a while ago." She said nervously.
"What?" Mr. Tendo spoke from the other side of the door, stepping inside the room with an expressionless Ranma following behind. "Where did Akane go?"
"She didn't seem to have heard me when I was about to ask her." Kasumi replied, looking at Ranma. "I thought she had an argument with Ranma again."
"Yeah, she had." Nabiki sauntered inside the room, sitting casually beside Genma. "Maybe Ranma could go and find her before it rains hard?" she suggested nonchalantly.
All eyes were focused on Ranma. He should've known she would run away again. And he would have to find her again on her usual place in a matter of minutes, only to stay in the dark longer, thinking of the right words to say to her.
The Tendo Patriarch regarded him with a hard stare. "It's your responsibility to look for her, Ranma-kun. If anything happens to her-"
"If anything happens to her, it's nothing but her fault." Ranma interjected heatedly. Things don't make sense to him; his mind was clouded and the argument was still fresh in his mind. "She should've thought about it in the first place. Besides, this is her home, I should be the one running away." His voice calmed down, but his hands shook from anger, fear, worry and uncertainty. "I'm so tired of this scene. Akane running away and I following her." And I see the same expression on her face every time I apologize mutely that I don't even know what she really feels. "I'm so tired of this and I don't wanna do this anymore."
The heavy rain fell down the earth together with the rage of the remaining occupants of the Tendo Dojo. The rain fell so hard and loud they didn't hear Ranma muttered, "I'm so tired of following her yet I can't bring myself to stop." I can't, and I won't. I don't understand.
I've been driving for an hour, just talking to the rain
The tears pouring down her face could put the rain to shame right at the moment as she drove along the smooth road. The harsh wind and the sound of the rain muffled her wracked sobs. She cried harder, wanting to hear her own cry as she let all of her heartaches, disappointments and frustrations pour out along with the rain.
You say I've been driving you crazy
And it's keeping you away.
"He said I'm driving him crazy . . . he doesn't want me, I should've known . . ." Akane muttered in between hiccups. She had always known she was fighting a lost battle, always assuming, hoping that he had little feelings for her. "He's so goddamned confusing! Why can't he just choose so that it'll be all over! He doesn't want any of us get hurt so he's not choosing, but he doesn't know, oh, he has no idea!" she shouted with all her might, glad for once that she'll be able to let all her feelings out and nobody can hear her. "Why can't he just tell it to my face, that he doesn't like me? That I'm not his type? That I'm a tomboy and I don't cook well?" she sobbed. "But heck, I tried! I tried to be one like them, to make him like me. I know I shouldn't bother because I'm his fiancée, but it doesn't help when he has other fiancées! And here I thought I had him!"
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I don't wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say
"I'm just so crazy about him . . ." she muttered in defeat. She had denied that fact so many times, shook her head and told anyone vehemently that she doesn't care about who he chooses to marry, but it was pretty useless, wasn't it? She knew nobody had taken her seriously but she still kept up with her denials. They fought, shouted at each other, and she had hit him countless of times over the years. She had stayed with him, sacrificed and fought for him, and when she felt that maybe she had hope and maybe he had feelings for her, it all crumbles down and they're back to square one again. "I'm so tired of arguing with him… I don't want to fight him anymore… it's all meaningless…" her eyes started to fill with fresh tears again and she roughly wiped her cheeks while concentrating hard on looking at the road. It was all useless. The rain was pouring hard as well as her tears. If he could just tell me… anything to make me stay…
And I take it just a little bit
I hold my breath and count to ten
I've been waiting for a chance to let you in
Surprisingly, the rain had suddenly stopped. Akane found she was calm and her sobs had died down. She looked outside her window and found that she was driving beside the beach. "Wow." She breathed, mesmerized by the famous sight she was seeing. Somehow, the scenery had made her feel a little better. She slowed down her car as the gentle wind came by, gladly meeting her tear-streaked face. She inhaled the fresh, clean air.
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between I know,
Everything is alright
And then she breathed.
Breathe
Every little piece of me, you'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
She sped up and passed by the beach, her one arm placed on the open window, her hands gently swaying in the air. The wind had dried her tears, and she had breathed the remaining aches inside of her. Crying once in a while really did her good. Now what she needed was to think. She had to decide what to do, and in order to do that she must consult her mind and her heart.
Reaching a small park near the next town, she stopped her car, stepped outside and started walking along the newly-cut grass.
Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real
Ranma… he has always been the one. He was her ideal man, not perfect, though, but she could never imagine life without him. He was the only constant thing in her life; always with her, never leaving her side. Now, imagining a life without Ranma, she realized she would rather argue with him everyday than not have him around at all.
"Does he feel the same way?" Akane found herself asking as she sat on one of the swings on the playground. She smiled at the two kids playing water across from her. Yes, he was always there, always present, but he never says anything. He would rather die than confess anything… he shows his feelings through actions, but it's never enough. He might show actions that he cares for me, but as a friend, not a-a… not someone more than a friend. Like I said, he's really, really confusing…
And what hurts more, was that every little chance they had was always ruined. She could never understand why fate would never let her and Ranma get to admit their true feelings. It only made the both of them the denial King and Queen. I love him so much he can never know how…
And I give you just a little time
I wonder if you realize
I've been waiting 'till I see it in your eyes
She was always there, waiting for him to come to his senses. Maybe he was already aware of his own feelings, but can't act through it and doesn't want to show it. Oh, please… thinking about it just makes want to cry all over again… How can he be so mean? The fact that he had her, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kudachi hanging and following him around was cruel enough. She had been around him for years waiting for a sign, but she can see nothing. And if she was lucky, it was only glimpses of fleeting emotions in his blue eyes.
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between, I know
Everything is alright
Maybe… just maybe… if she had the courage to seek him out and tell him what she feels… then maybe everything would be alright.
Breathe
Every little piece of me, you'll see
Everything is alright
She would have to make him see the things she wanted him to see. She would have to prove herself worthy of his love. She has to start all over again, just as she fell in love with him over and over again.
If I just breathe
Once back inside her car, driving back home but still unsure of what to do when she sees him, Akane contemplated on what had happened that day.
She just ran away from an argument (the usual senseless argument) feeling more hurt than ever, sorted out her thoughts and feelings towards a certain pigtailed guy, and realized she was just as much as in love with him.
Passing by the beach again, Akane felt the urge to go down and walk along the white sands before finally going home. Her desires were too much to resist, so she parked her car beside the road and went down the beach.
The sky was clear again, but the rain left traces of mist and fog all over the place. The sun was nearly setting, and a few minutes more and it'll be totally dark. The waves were rolling and splashing to the rocks and to the sand, leaving colorful shells around.
Places and times like these were the best times to have someone with you walking along the beach, hands together and relishing each other's warmth. Akane wanted to cry again.
So I whisper in the dark
Hoping you'll hear me
Do you hear me?
How she wanted Ranma to be that man. The man who'll fulfill all her fantasies and that someone she could go hand in hand with while walking in the seashore. Will someone listen to her if she asked for Ranma to be right there on the exact moment where she's standing?
Impossible. She shook her head and let a sad smile crept her lips. When she comes back nothing would change. Ranma won't even apologize to her and she'll accept his mute apology when there isn't even one. They'll fight again and then the cycle continues. I'll probably get old arguing with him.
She stopped walking and stared at the setting sun. It was so wonderful, so calming, so-
Wait. Her body stiffened at the other presence around her. It was scary, for she knew that feeling when she felt his mere presence every time they're in the same place.
She felt eyes watching her back and she quickly turned around only to suck her own breath. Ranma.
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between, I know
Everything is alright
And when she released that breath she had been holding, she nearly died. There he was, just about five big steps away from her, those gorgeous blue eyes intensely searching her own. She had to blink, to see if he was real, and to make sure that he was not just a product of her imagination and her desires and longing.
"Don't even try," he said quietly, his face completely expressionless. "I'm really here. Just like all the other times."
"Yeah," Akane replied just as quietly and calmly, gathering all her strength left to not cry. Was he really this insensitive? "Big surprise. Did they ordered you to come and fetch me to dinner?" she asked sarcastically, her anger surfacing and she forgot she was about to forgive him again. "Good timing, I'm dead hungry." Her throat was dry and she was numb, numb all over. She started walking forward, her distance to the man she ever loved and feared inching closer. She could feel his warmth, and his presence, it was enough to drive her insane.
"Akane," he said, and she found herself stopping just behind him, his hand on her arm. Her lips trembled as she felt tears threatening to fall. If he's going to say one more stupid thing I swear I'm going to hit him where it hurts. "Listen," he whispered, his own voice sounded hoarse and strange. "I'm so-"
Breathe
Every little piece of me, youll see
Everything is alright
"I loved you, you know," she said suddenly, her tears running down her cheeks. This was her last chance. She would never, ever do this again if she failed. "I've stayed with you through everything and I thought that somehow you'll be able to see me. Well, you see me alright, but not the way I wanted you to. I loved you and stayed with you yet all it ever brought me in return was misery." All her shame left her as she lifted her face and looked up at him in the eye. Let him see everything, she thought, I don't care what he sees in my eyes, I just needed to look at him one more time before this ends.
And what she saw made her heart beat double-time.
Oh, god, those eyes. I-I have never seen him look at me this way before…Ranma you idiot, what are you trying to tell me…?
She felt his hand on her cheek. Warm, calloused, but it made her shiver to her toes. He stood so close to her that she felt his breath skim her face and it made her want to cry all over again.
"I see you Akane," he said, taking a step closer and bringing up his other hand to completely cup her face, his thumbs wiping the traces of tears on her cheeks. " I see every piece, every little thing in you," he murmured those words like caress on her skin, he looked at her like he would never look at another woman, and held her like she was his, and his alone. "And I want you to think of the times, those times we're together, Akane. I know you feel it, see it in my eyes…"
Everything is all right if I just breathe
"Ranma, I'm sorry," Akane sobbed. That's all she could say but she hoped he understood. She's apologizing for all the times she hit him, for misunderstanding his actions and clashing with him in arguments that's worse than a kid's fight. I've really messed it up. Ranma I'm so sorry I'm such a weak little thing.
"I don't know why I can't bring myself to apologize, Akane," once again, his quiet, soothing voice. "I-you know I can't express my feelings well-I suck at that. But what I'm asking," there he dared took another step and Akane's eyes widened at the invasion of her personal space. (he's close enough to kiss me!) "Is a second chance. I'll make it up to you, I don't care how you want me to do it, let's just say it's a form of-well, er, sort of an-"
"Ranma, shut up." Akane said, her face slowly brightening up and her lips forming into a light smile. "I guess I don't want to hear it after all. But you always get what you want, didn't you?"
"Not everything, you know that," he gave her a look that reminded her of his curse and his never ending adventures of finding its cure. She smiled up at him and unconsciously, his hands slipped from her face down to her arms, finally resting them on her waist. Akane stiffened at the action for a moment; she was new to these feelings, never knew she could feel this wonderful and amazing in Ranma's arms. She was drowning, drowning in his gaze and his touch and that unmistakably and subtly spoke of love. How could she miss it all until now?
His eyes fell from her orbs to her lips and she softly gasped as she saw the raw expression that passed through his eyes. It was desire she had never seen in him before. And she couldn't believe it!
His face were just centimeters apart from her, his nose softly touching her cheek as his breath came in puffs and started to mingle with her own breath. Yes, she had wanted this, wanted this for so long that when she felt his lips touched hers for the first time she felt like passing out. No other explanations in the world could have prepared her for this.
Breathe…
"Ranma…" Akane purred his name as they both let go for space. It was simply earth-shattering. Nerve-wracking. Soul-breaking.
They stared at each other for a long time, seeing in each other's eyes the past they're been through, the present they were currently experiencing, and the future that awaits them, together.
"So," Ranma gruffly broke the silence, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, looking oddly pleased at what he had seen in Akane's eyes as they headed back towards her car. "I have found you again, but I've never felt this victorious. What the hell were doing anyway?"
Softly kissing him on the mouth, Akane smiled at him lovingly. "Well, I've been driving for an hour… Just talking to the rain."
Gods, this piece of crap had made a home in my computer for nearly two years. Yes, this short, ugly one-shot was this hard for me to complete. It's my entire fault and Michelle Branch's song. When I first heard it (around the end of 2003, I think) I knew I have to write it up. I just got obsessed with Ranma again that time and I thought the song was perfect.
And what the hell, why am I telling you all this crap? Just thank you in advance for reading and reviewing. Loves, people!