A/N: I am using this humorous fiction to get away from my other ones. I hope you like it!! This song is by a Christian rock band that sings about random things (there is a penguin on their cd…yea), Relient K. This song is called "Mood Rings." I think for this fan fiction, you HAVE to read the lyrics with it…
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters (thank you, J.K. Rowling) or the song (Thank you, Relient K).
A/N2: Italicized words are George's words, regular words are Fred's, and bolded words are the song lyrics.
Fred & George's Guide to Emotional Girls
Hello, fellow men! Since you have bought this book, we can already tell you are having some girl trouble. But no fear! This guide will lead you into understanding their feelings.
But first, before you leave Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, where you purchased this book, please look around and feel free to buy stuff… I DEMAND YOU… no pressure.
Now let us begin!
We all know the girls that I am talking about.
Well they are time bombs and they are ticking
And the only question is when...they'll blow up!
And they'll blow up, we know that without a doubt.
Cause they're those girls, yeah, you know those girls
That let their emotions get the best of them.
Go!
Women are very beautiful creatures, yes, creatures. But one flaw is their emotions. They flirt with you one day, and the next day, she's throwing vases at you.
True Story, it was probably PMS.
And I've contrived some sort of a plan
To help my fellow man...
Here is our plan…
Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking,
Just what they're thinking...
Get her a mood ring. But don't tell her it is one…
We repeat. DO NOT TELL HER IT IS A MOOD RING. I experienced it first hand. That was when the vase throwing incident occurred.
She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way
Emotions swinging on the swing set almost everyday
She said to me that she's so happy it's depressing
And all I said was "Someone get that girl a mood ring!"
Women are veela in disguise. Women are beautiful, but watch out for a woman with a wand. They will get rid of your most personal asset.
Yes, that thing is what we are talking about. Crap, now my girlfriend is gonna threaten mine.
If it's drama you want, then look no further
They're like the Real World meets Boy Meets World
meets Days of Our Lives.
And it just kills me how they get away with murder
They'll anger you then bat their eyes
Those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize
Drama. One of the things that women love.
That's why they watch all those stupid soap operas! The characters don't talk about soap. They don't even mention anything about soap!
But ignore the drama. After a while they'll get so fed up with the drama in their own lives that they'll take it upon you.
If that happens, run, don't walk to the nearest exit.
And I've contrived some sort of a plan
To help my fellow man...
Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking,
Just what they're thinking...
It is not as hard as tying a bell upon a kneazle.
We did that to our brother's friend's half kneazle. I think I still have a scar on my arse.
She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way
Emotions swinging on the swing set almost everyday
She said to me that she's so stressed out it's soothing
And all I said was "Someone get that girl a mood ring!"
With all these mood swings, you would expect her to be stressed.
That's why if you try soothing her and she gets pissed, it's PMS!! How can you tell if it's PMS or stress?!
Cause when it's black it means "watch your back" because you're probably
The last person in the world right now that she will want to see
And when it's blue it means you should call her up immediately
and ask her out because she'll most likely agree
And when it's green it simply means that she is really stressed
And when it's clear it means she is completely emotionless
And that's alright I must confess
Those above, are the basic colors for these mood rings.
Just add red, and you got love. She loves you! See! I told you these mood rings work!
We all know the girls that I am talking about
She likes you Wednesday, but now it's Friday
And she has to wash her hair
And it just figures that we'll never figure them out
Well, first she's Jekyll and then she's Hyde...
At least she makes a lovely pair.
She's that pretty, little girl that you fell in love with, that also has a hidden monster embedded into her skin. But she'll love you even more for helping her through her difficult times.
All the times, except PMS! How can you forget PMS! We have yet to discover why they are so pissy during that time of month. It's not like we can do anything about it! Oh no, here comes my sister. She has that "pissed off, but pleased face." I think she has an idea…
Mood Ring, oh Mood Ring,
oh tell me will you bring the key
To unlock this mystery?
Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motions
So I may understand
The complex infrastructure known as the female mind
These mood rings are the best things that Muggles came up with! Weasley's Wizard Wheezes just upped it up a bit. They will help you understand the complex minds of the most complicating beings. We are the only ones who sell these!
If you steal these ideas, then we'll go after you! Or even worse… we'll send Hermione Granger's half kneazle after you (God, just thinking about that thing makes my eyes, and arse hurt)! No an even better idea! We shall send Hermione Granger, herself, after you! Do not get between her and a wand. I'm warning you… it's worse than PMS.
In conclusion, JUST BUY THE RINGS ALREADY!!
A/N: I hope you liked the fic and the song. It's one of my favorite songs, by one of my favorite bands…please review… I want to know how I am doing. Stay tuned for "Fred and George's Dictionary of Female Lingo."
love you bunches, HogwartzBoizRHottiez