Chapter Two: Listen

Wakka was watching the meal cook with a savage hunger, Rikku sitting across from him doing the same with the addition of drool. Lulu gathered her skirts after adjusting the fire, and walked to sit with Auron.

Neither of the two Guardians said a word, but Lulu was not blind to Auron's gaze locked onto Tidus. Had she been ignorant, she would have thought he were staring at Yuna, watching over her. But Lulu was not ignorant, and she wasn't quiet about things like this either.

"Why do you still watch him so closely? He's almost an adult now, correct?" Lulu asked the warrior, confident in her suspisions.

"He'll be an adult when he thinks like one." Auron murmured, insulted by the tone in the mage's voice, but tried not to insult her in return.

The two didn't say much else between them, Lulu smiling behind her hair, and Tidus, with almost jealous eyes, watched them the whole time. He could not explain the feeling in his gut, but the only thing he could think of was forcing himself between Lulu and Auron and staying there, keeping her away from Auron and biting who ever else tried.

The blonde nearly slapped himself for thinking like that, and gasped realizing he WAS jealous of Lulu's close proximity to the older guardian. He ducked his head quickly behind the fire that seperated him from Auron, and hoped the man hadn't seen him glaring.

Lulu smirked wider, albeit darkly, and turned her head away from Auron to look at Tidus through the fire. She knew the boy was watching her, and she could sense his aura of jealousy even from this distance. She also noticed the meat coming close to done, and unfolded her arms to stand.

"Your too old to be chasing someone like him, Sir Auron," Lulu chuckled under her breath a little. "If it is meant to work out, perhaps he will be the one chasing you."

Auron's head snapped upwards at Lulu's back as she left him to cut the meal. Had she really just said that? Was he being that obvious? Auron had thought he was doing fine keeping it hidden, he thought he had covered everything inside, so then...he was always staring. Auron cursed inwardly, Lulu must have caught on to his constant staring at Tidus.

"Damnit." The Guardian whispered, and let his head fall forward in shame.

It was wrong, his feelings, his attraction. It was NOT meant to be, and it never would be. But the black mage was right about one thing, he was far too old to be chasing anyone, especially someone like Tidus, someone he swore to protect.

Wakka cheered in delight along with Rikku as Lulu began to serve the meal and Yuna helped pass around the scraps of unseasoned meat. The young Summoner had walked over to Auron briefly to offer him some of his own capture, but when Auron merely answered with a negative shake of his head Yuna frowned. Her oldest Guardian had not eaten in days, she was sure of it, she knew he had to be starved.

"Please eat, Sir Auron." She half begged, her sparkling eyes pleading.

As much as Auron did not wish to eat, he did not want to upset or worry his young charge. He took the offered food and sat back quietly, watching with satisfaction as Yuna smiled brilliantly and turned to take her place back by Tidus's side.

Tidus, chewing thougtfully, caught himself watching Auron, and looked to Yuna instead. He didn't know how to approach the warrior, because he did not know what he wanted to approach him about, and the confusion spiraling within him was ripping at his patience and making him nervous. The daylight was fading behind them, and after a day's worth of walking through thick trees and brush, Tidus hated to admit he was tired, but he was. He wasn't used to walking everywhere, but he had the feeling he was going to be forced into getting used to it.

Wakka and Rikku continued to fight over the leftovers of the food, Lulu merely watched them in turns, while the rest sat in their own worlds quietly. Yuna was back on the cliffside, watching the landscape and saying goodbye to nature's beauty for the last time. It was her first time through Macalania, and already it was her last. It depressed her, but in a way, she knew that the land would be kept beautiful because of her death, if only for a little while. And that was her motivation to smile.

Kimahri stood close to her, his tail flicking every so often from side to side, but that was his only movement. Auron still sat by himself, content to merely rest his eyes and listen to the music of the coming night as he tried to clear his troubled mind. Tidus watched him, as the fire died in front of him, breaking down the only barrier between himself and his Guardian just a few feet away. He couldn't help the confusion, and although he tried to make himself a part of Wakka and Rikku's conversation, he felt somehow like he didn't fit in during that moment.

Tidus finally gave up, and dug into Wakka's side pack for a blanket. Standing, he walked out towards the cliff, away from the Summoner, and lay by himself in the stillness of the solitude he'd found. For the first time in a long while, Tidus just wanted to be alone. He needed to sort things out with himself before he could quiet the noise in his mind and stop the anxious flittering of his heart.

He sighed, and lay on his stomach with his cheek on his arms, watching as the stars came out and began to play in the sky, winking down at them like they hadn't done in so long. It was always gray anymore, the group rarely saw true color because of the darkness that loomed over them, the danger that threatened them around every bend. The only real color Tidus ever saw anymore, was Auron's red kimono. That damnable red thing, always so bold in the grayest moment, like a light in a dark room, and it always followed him. It might sound immature to some, but Tidus looked up to Auron like a star. But not a celebrity, a real star. When he was little, walking home at night, Tidus could swear that the brightest star in the sky was following him, dragging the moon and the rest of the night with it. Auron was that star to him when he got older, always there but silent and steady in his stride.

No matter how hard Tidus tried to think of Auron as a father, or a legal guardian in the sense, he failed, miserably, and it came back to that strange emotion that he could never decipher. He thought about how it felt to watch Auron relax, the strange sensation he got at seeing Auron's entire face for the first time in years, his interest in the warrior's true past, his jealousy over Lulu's closeness with the man earlier that day. It was all similar to some of the things he felt for Yuna, the protectiveness, the curiosity, the feeling of calm he encountered everytime he watched her sleep or smile or laugh. He thought he loved Yuna, or at least that he was close to falling for her, hard. Everything he felt for her he felt for Auron too. But, there was something different.

Auron shifted so his back was more comfortable, and opened his eye to look over the rim of his glasses to see the fire dying and the group getting ready for bed. He didn't see Tidus though, and in a surge of energy stood in one fluid motion and looked for the blonde young man. He could not see him from where he was, and the boy wasn't with Yuna and Kimahri sitting out on the cliffside, nor was he anywhere by the fire. Without waking any of the other Guardians who were just dozing off, Auron walked around them to search for his missing charge. Tidus couldn't have gone far by himself, Auron was sure, but just in case, he grabbed his katana last minute.

Lulu opened her eyes to watch Auron walk off in search, and smiled as she whispered to herself.

"Maybe your not too old, afterall. Perhaps it is Tidus who is too young."

Wakka stirred when he heard Lulu whispering, and glanced to his side. "What was that Lu?"

Lulu closed her eyes, "Nothing to worry about."

Relaxing into a calming breeze, Tidus shifted onto his shoulder and closed his eyes, yawning and stretching his legs the best he could before resting completely. He'd given up on trying to figure things out, and all he wanted to do right now was sleep. He couldn't hear the rest of the group talking anymore, so he guessed they were sleeping as well, and thought nothing of it.

"I thought you didn't like to be alone."

Tidus jerked upwards into a sitting position to see Auron standing a few feet from him, his heavy katana resting on his shoulder. Tidus breathed in relief, and lay back down. He could hear Auron move to set his weapon down as the older man took a seat on the empty grass.

"I just wanted to think, is that so much to ask?" Tidus said, turning so his back was to Auron and frowned.

He had not meant to sound insulted or angry, but that is how it appeared, and Auron knew better. He knew Jecht better. Whenever Jecht had been caught in deep thought he would immediately put on a mask of annoyance. Tidus was too much like his father, Auron thought, and smiled behind his collar.

"No, I guess not."

Auron fell silent after that, and sat so he could see everyone. Wakka, Lulu and Rikku were in the distance, laying around the last flickering flame of the fire, while Yuna had fallen asleep in Kimahri's arms a little ways out from them. The group had been scattered, and as much as that made Auron uncomfortable lest they come under attack, he said, nor did anything about it, because he was here, with Tidus, alone. And, even though nothing would happen, he knew, it still stirred feelings of belonging within him, like this was where he was supposed to be.

"Auron?"

Auron turned his head towards the blonde who was still facing away from him, his soft voice having broken the silence that had fallen onto them. Tidus sounded unsure of what he was about to say, and Auron waited patiently. They had all night after all.

"Where did you get your scar?"

The night sky darkened suddenly, the stars dimming as if shunned as the last of the fire was finally gone. Somehow the smoke made it out to where they were, and both inhaled the homey scent of burnt wood and meat. But neither said a word. Auron watched Tidus wait, his good eye slightly wider in surprise but he didn't let any other emotion show in his body language. Tidus flinched as the silence got thicker, and closed his eyes tightly, knowing he'd asked the wrong question.

"That is a different story, for a later time." The warrior nearly murmured, vanity and guilt ruling his conscious.

"Then, what will you tell me? Will you tell me why you hide your face? Will you tell me who you truly are?"

With each new question Tidus's voice became more bold, and he eventually rolled over to face the older Guardian straight. He didn't know why Auron's sudden shyness gave him courage, but he ran with it without worrying. He wanted an answer, but he wanted the truth more.

"How do you expect me to tell you who I am, when I don't know myself anymore."
"Maybe because you do know, and your lying. Did you have a bad past then?" Tidus pressed, and Auron's posture visibly became stressed.

"Does it really matter," Auron told the blonde, looking at him over his dark glasses with a stern, accusing look. He did not like being interrogated. "And since when is it any of your business?"

Tidus took a step back from his questions, burned by Auron's rejection, and sat up to lean on his knees. Because of Auron's reactions, Tidus knew now that the man's past was tainted with pain and suffering of some kind, knew there was darkness that still haunted the warrior. And maybe that was enough for now, maybe a subject change was in order then.

"I'm lost," Tidus finally whispered after a drawn out hesitation. "So lost..."

Auron said nothing in return. It was ritualistic almost for the two, it was something that Auron had always done, something that Tidus was used to his guardian doing for him ever since he first came into his life back in Zanarkand. The man moved closer to Tidus, and sat behind him without prompting. Tidus moved on reflex, although his movements were a little hesitant now that he was uncovering strange emotions for the man, the blonde still found comfort in laying his head on Auron's thigh.

With his shoulders in the warrior's lap and his head resting close to Auron's knee as the mans legs were folded beneath him, Tidus took a deep breath. Auron's gloved arm came up to cradle his neck, while the other remained in it's spot against Auron's chest. Tidus let his eyes close. He could sleep here if Auron would let him, and now he found no energy to bring up the subject that had been troubling him for days now.

"What's wrong, Tidus."

Tidus groaned inwardly. It seemed he wasn't getting off so easily. Opening his blue eyes the young man chanced looking directly at Auron. As always, the man was hidden by that damned collar and those reflective glasses. Who honestly wore sunglasses at night anyway? Tidus moved on an impulse that came from no where, and before he could really see what he was doing, he had reached up to take off Auron's glasses.

Auron inhaled a sharp breath, but was otherwise frozen. Why was it such a big deal for Tidus to take off his glasses? Because they were his mask, his shield. They hid what he hated, they let him feel protected like something was surrounding him, holding him safely. But he let Tidus slip them off his nose and out from around his ears without a fight. Nervous about what he feared would come, all Auron could do was hold Tidus's eyes with his.

Bright, innocent blue met dark, anguished amber and the two stayed locked like that for what seemed to be hours. Never had they looked directly into each other's eyes before. The eyes, that were the windows to their souls, finally fully revealed before them, before Tidus. It was the best answer he could have gotten from the older man.

"I love Yuna," Tidus whispered, still holding Auron's powerful but fragile gaze. "At least, I think I do. But, there's something I can't figure out."

Tidus paused in his talking, to reach up once more, another impulse that he hoped wouldn't be slapped away, and without breaking eye contact, loosened Auron's high collar to be able to pull it down. This time, Tidus was able to see the widening of Auron's eye in surprise, and the amber brown color his eye was glittered with fear. But the man didn't stop him like the last time, and Tidus pulled the collar down all the way. It was the first time, the very first time, Tidus had been given the honor of seeing and fully studying Auron's entire face. And it took Tidus without warning as the surge of emotion that hit his chest almost made him lose his breath.

Auron was more weathered than Tidus had originally thought, the scar longer and uglier than he had guessed as it ran all the way down the right side of Auron's neck and dissapeared beneath his chest armor. His unshaven cheeks and chin made him look older, more stressed, but the uneasiness Tidus could see in Auron's expression made him look younger, and scared. His eyebrows weren't furrowed like usual, they were raised and nervous.

"I can't figure out..." Tidus started, and hesitated, still mesmorized by what he saw. "Can't figure out, why I feel the same things for you, that I do for her. Why whenever you let your guard down, even for a second, I see someone different. Someone I think I know, but, someone I truly don't understand."

The wisedom in those whispered words, the heartfelt tone they were spoken in. Auron was silenced immediately. He had nothing to say to the blonde in his arms. This had never happened before, he had always been able to respond to Tidus when they were in this position, the position Tidus felt most comfortable in, ever since childhood, but now he was speechless. How was a father-figure supposed to answer his charge when such a question was asked, such a statement was made. For a moment, Auron's heart had jumped into his throat at the knowledge of Tidus's partially hidden affections for him, but in the next second it had been shot and forced back in it's place from hearing and recognizing the confusion, and the truth about Tidus's love for Yuna. It was too familiar.

"Curious."

Tidus frowned when Auron murmured that one word, in an incomplete sentence backed by thousands of different opinions and thoughts that he knew Auron would never voice.

"What?" The blonde asked.
"Your curious, and you want answers. Instant gratification, delayed objection."
"Auron?"

The older Guardian heard nothing, felt nothing as Tidus sat up from his hold to look at him evenly. He ignored that pleading gaze, with those gorgeous, untouchable eyes. He ignored his own heartbeat as it pounded in his ears, and closed his good eye, smiling bitterly at himself as he reached up and hid his face behind his right hand. The cold leather of the black glove never made a difference, and Auron heard himself laugh under his breath. Tidus was going through a phase. A childish, but insistent phase. Auron had been the only person there for him until he became a star. Auron had been the only person in Spira that could tell Tidus what was happening to him until he made friends and found a different cause worth fighting for. And now, Auron was the only person Tidus could trust in telling these things, the only person he felt comfortable enough with to experiment. Auron, was a toy. Something to fall back on. Oddly enough, that hurt him, more than seeing Tidus fall for Yuna ever would.

"I could give you an answer, Tidus. But you'll hate me for it eventually."
"Auron, I..."
"Save it, and sleep. We will talk about this, another time."

And Auron left. Tidus watched him leave, watched him fixing his collar as he bent to retrieve his katana, and watched him as he donned his glasses on reflex. The man walked all the way back to where the rest of the group lay, and sat back in his seat against the nearest tree. Tidus was stunned, stunned by the hurt he had seen flood into Auron's gaze, stunned by the overwhelming emotion that had been carried on those words. He'd never seen or heard Auron act like that.

He knew then, that there were some things about his Guardian that were too tender to touch.