A/N: I wanted to say thank you so much for all my reviewers, it means a lot to me! And I wanted to have a special thank you too 'Hell-babe' 'Olivia' & Jazzypunker who has staid with my story! So thanks a bunch! Anyways back to the story, please review me with your opinions, they are most welcome!
Loneliness conquers my emotions, ironic how the only emotion I feel just wont leave me alone. I look at the man, the very same man that I thought that I have killed, the man which I thought I got my revenge on, apparently not as I look up into his dark, icy eyes. A shiver runs up my spine as I see the true him...I shake my head in disbelief not wanting to know this cruel man, who hurts me... raped me, killed me, he took me away from living.
His protecting her...no one even tries to protect me, nor does anyone care and once again the loneliness just won't subside.
"I...I thought I killed you!" I say shakily but strong.
He ignores me as he turns around to Buffy and helps her up from the wet, muddy floor as I see them embrace. I can't help but have jealousy over run my emotions as I grab Spike from his t-shirt, to pull them away from each other. I roll my fist into a ball and punch Spike as hard as I can in the nose as I watch it bleed just like my heart is doing.
"Bastard, "I whisper weakly, watching him hold his nose to stop the blood from poring, juts like the rain.
"Don't touch him!" I hear a voice behind me scream shakily, I turn around quickly, wanting to see how terrified she is. But as I look, her emotions as well as mine dissipate into nothing, unless you look a little deeper yet no one seems to bother.
I soon feel a hand grabbing my throat roughly, taking away my oxygen as my feet are kicking violently in the thick air which surrounds me, yet I'm lacking. I soon see who has my throat in such a tight grasp, I already know that she wont let go perhaps this is my destiny...that this is my meaning to life.
I shake my head, no; this is not how I die because I'm already dead I know that. My eyes dart over to the man I despise, hate in every way, which counts. He looks at me a look, which says 'I would choose her over you'
"Fine!" I choke out as my body is on the scratchy brick wall, which is cutting my wounds open. I grab the wall as I push off it, and kick her in the stomach; she gets up from the floor as I gasp for breath in a crouch position. I get up slowly once again hiding my tears as I high kick Buffy in the head I see her trying to keep balance, I laugh in contents as I run towards her. It was inevitable until I feel myself getting kicked, its like everything is going in slow motion as my back crashes into the brick wall once again.
My eyes dart up, only to see Spike holding me against the wall his eyes, which are glaring at me in resentment, I tremble.
"Don't fucken touch her!" he screams harshly as his hand finds its way up to my neck, holding it, daring me to say something sarcastic.
"Don't touch me!" I scorn in hatred.
"What are you going to do about it?" he asks, daring me to say more.
"NO! The question is what are you going to do? The person you love yet doesn't love you back or your child, which will love you uncordially! Who are you going to choose?" I ask, now daring him.
He looks at me with a questionable look across his face as if saying
"You can't make me choose between my child and the person I love"
I give him a sly smile as realisation hits me...
I look up at him beyond discussed "you have already chosen," I reply bitterly as I struggle to get out of his grasp.
"Bastard! You did this to me and yet you would rather choose that blondes slut over your own child!" I spit as I try to shake him off me.
"Don't you dare call her that! You don't even know her!" he hisses at me.
"Either do you," I whisper coldly "Yet you can rape me and then you say you love her! Some love, I'm sure she's going to take you back with open arms!" I scream so even Buffy could hear.
"You what? YOU RAPED HER?" Buffy screams from behind Spike as a loud thunder roars through the atmosphere.
Trying not to remember that horrible night, trying so desperately to keep it under a lock and key.
"It was a mistake...something was controlling me" he whispers, yet loud enough so Buffy could hear.
"You killed her didn't you? You turned her into this!" Buffy says as she points to me as I once again struggle to become free.
"I...I don't know what came over me" he cries, not even looking at Buffy as he speaks, he still holds my body against the brick wall, were there is no light, only darkness.
"Spike! You knew we had to find all the innovative slayers! Before the first came! You knew that!" she screams franticly.
"Can you shut the fuck up? I don't want to hear all your shit!" I scream I see all there eyes glaring at me.
"Fine, Buffy, what do you want me to do with her?" Spike demands, while his grip tightens around my neck.
"She has your child..." she whispers so I barley hear her, yet I do, I cant help but have pity for her.
"You know I would give anything up for you," he says sadly as I feel his grip tighten once again.
"You fucken bastard!" I choke out with tears pouring down my cheeks; I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore I guess I just broke my own promise. Although I'm not crying because I'm so close to death, I'm crying because my own child couldn't even take its first breath in this cruel world.
It will never know how to live then again I didn't even know how to live...