A/N: (Alu walks onto stage with a neck brace and crutches) HI!!! Guess what? That's right! Avalon let me live at the last second. So you'reall stuck listening to me and my stupid babble about absolutely nothing. (the audience begins to boo her) You just don't know talent when you see some! Anyway, while I was in the hospital I finished this! (Holds up "The Hobbit") MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!! NOW, ONWARD TO LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!
Chapter 5: SNACK TIME!!!!!"You forgot, huh?" Remus asked unbelievingly.
"Yeah. You got a problem with my memory?" Sirius asked in an offended voice.
"No, but they do," Remus answered, as calm as possible. It's hard to do so whenone istalking to a moron. He then pointed to the surrounding infants. All except Malfoy, of course. Yes, he was still in that corner.
"Well, anyway, now that I remember, I'm going to go make some, okay?" Sirius asked, glaring.
They all smiled (all except Malfoy) and chanted, "Okay!"
They all stared at him and he stared back.
Remus decided to break the silence. "Well? What are you waiting for? Go get these kids some food," he ordered Sirius.
"All right! I'm going! I'm going!" he said as Remus rushed him. "But first I need him," he added, hastily picking up Percy and shoving him into the kitchen,starting to closethe doorbehind him.
"Him?" Remus asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Me?" Percy asked in complete bewilderment, which wasawkward for Sirius.
"You!" Sirius confirmed and almost shut the door completely, but Remus' foot was faster.
"And just what do you need him-"
"Percy!" the little boy countered."I have a name you know."
"Okay, Percy, then. Why do you need Percy?" Remus asked, frowning slightly.
Sirius poked his head out the door. "Because I kind of forgot what they eat,and he didn't," he said and hurriedly slammed the door in his friend's raging face.
"SIRIUS BLACK!" Remus shouted from the other side of the door.
Sirius wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and sighed.
"You know? I think he was trying to break the door down," Sirius said.He began to laugh.
The door creaked. It started to fall. Sirius stopped and looked down at it blankly.
"Ummm, I think he did," Percy said, pointing.
Sirius pulled out his wand. "You're no Muggle, so you can see this." He flicked his wand and muttered a spell. The door shot up and went right back into place.
"I can't believe I'd stoop to saying this, !" Percy said, punching the air.
"That, my dear lad, is true art - not that stupid stuff on pieces of paper," Sirius said, blowing at the top of his wand. "So what do the children want to eat?"he asked, picking up two oven mitts shaped like black dog headsand a chef hat.
"I have it all written down right here," Percy said proudly, holding up a piece of paper.
Sirius ran his eyes over it. "Well, you make this stuff, all right?" Sirius said, thrusting the paper back into Percy's hands.
"All right. But what will you make?" Percy asked, pocketing his paper.
Sirius gracefully threw his chef hat into the air and it once again gracefully landed on his head. "Muffins."
Remus had just torn Harry away from Draco when he looked at the clock. But something was not right. It had been an hour and Sirius was still in the kitchen. Remus threw the loose strands of hair from his face. He walked to the door, arms folded across his chest. When he approached it, there was a loud explosion and the door blewopen thenslammed into place. Its sides were covered in black and smoke was coming from the top. There were muffled sounds coming from the other side of the door.
Remus rested his head against it.
"Sirius!"
"What?"
"Your robe's on fire."
"Huh? AHHHHHHHHH!!!"There camea girlish scream from inside the kitchen. "GET THAT GLASS OF WATER OVER HERE NOW!!"
" But.."
" NOW!!"
Then there was a splash of water followed by along sigh. Remus pushed away, knowing better than to listen to more. He lowered his hand to the doorknob. But before he rested his hand on it, it began to turn on its own. He folded his arms onto his chest again. Slowly the door creaked open. Sirius' fingers curled around the rim of the door. Soon his face emerged and he looked at Remusin utter terror. They stood there,neither expression changing. Then slowly Sirius' eyes shrank back to normal size, and his frown became a smile. He kicked the door open with one leg and came out into full view. In his hands, whichwere insideblack dog ovenmitts, was a tray of muffins. The bottom of his robes were damp and Remus knew why. Percy followed him coughing and holding a tray of crackers and juice.
Sirius' smile widened as the children looked up at him. "Who wants muffins?" Sirius asked, lifting the tray higher.
Then, at that moment, there was a blinding light that shot straight at Sirius. When the light subsided, there was silence.Sirius' hair was standing on end and his face was pitch black. Remus whirled around to see who had done it.Standing in front of Sirius and behind Remus was Fred and George holdingRemus' wand, their eyes as big as dinner plates and their mouths hanging open. Then they looked at each other and started to laugh.
Sirius' eyes were still huge. Slowly, he turned to Remus. "Could you hold this for me?" he asked, handing him the tray.
"Sure thing, mate," Remus laughed and took the tray.
Sirius staggered out of the room and into the bathroom. After he cleaned up, they all ate their lunches and calmed down. Remus and Sirius went into the kitchen slowly, chattering away as they sipped their coffee. Meanwhile, in the other room in a far corner sat seven toddlers, all whispering amongst themselves. And the leader of this whispering tribe was none other than…Percy. Now I shall not sayjust what they said but I will tell you this, so listen.
"...Then I'll come in. Okay?" Percy asked.
"But I thought that's when I come in," asked Fred.
"No, you're later. Okay. Now is everyone ready? When I say 'go', Draco, that's your cue." They all agreed and got into position.
"Now!" said Percy.
Nothing happened.
"Draco, that's your cue."
"But you said when you say 'go'!"
"Oh, all right. Go!"
Draco burst into tears, as planned. Remus and Sirius came bursting through the door.
"What's wrong, Draco? What happened?" Remus asked.
The lights went out.
All was silent.
"Oh, great. An ambush," Sirius said, folding his arms onto his chest.
"HE'S ONTO US!!! GET THEM NOW!!!" someone cried.
After a while of screams and grunts, the light came back on. Sirius and Remus were tied together in a sitting position.
Sirius began to wiggle, but couldn't get out. "Hey, good job on the ropes," he said, looking downat them all proudly.
"Sirius?" Remus asked in a quiet whisper.
"Yeah?"
"I hate you."
A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT! There's still three chapters leftin store, so don't you dare leave. If you do, I will track you down and force you to read it. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! (coughs) Well, actually, I don't. But I know how to tell. (pulls out a phone book) Oh, darn! Did I do that in front of you? Shoot, I hate it when I do that. Oh, well. I'll find you somehow. Oh, yeah. This isn't Alu writing, but I will not tell you who is. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! R&R soon. Love, Alu. (O-o) Darn it all! I did it again. (Dies of aggravation) Well, if I don't come back to life (which is only if you review) I won't write another chapter. So there. Thanks to Avie, MoonyROX!, Miss Piratess, Super Shayde,. Moonmage, Zoicytes-Shadow, andDazzling Dame.