I like kouga as much as the next person, but I was being hyper at a slumber party, and I wasn't allowed to talk about anything Inuyasha related. So of course, I did. I had to stop though cause people thought I was going crazy so I made a list in my mind of what to do with a dead kouga. He's cute, in a jerky way. (Kidding, yeesh)
P.S. deleted this story because it was a list so I'm writing it in story form. But if you want to count 'em, there are 100 there.
You get the idea. Onto the story! Awaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!
"Finally, I get to create!" I yelled to the world. I had finally stolen Kagome's 'Ti-puh-ri-ter' and I will write! But what should I write about? I will write a list, a list of 100 things to do! But with what should it be? Let's start with, a dead kouga!
100 things to do with: a dead kouga!
I would take his shards then Mess with his hair.
We could play barber and I would shave his hair off.
Extreme makeover!
Get rid of that fur mini skirt (that is what I thought it was at first!)
Burn the mini skirt.
Reenact Kikyou's death. (Wink wink)
Dress him up as Kikyou.
Try to pass him off as Kikyou to Inuyasha and see if he buys it.
Chop him up and try to put him back together
Play pool with the pieces if I can't put him back together.
Send those pieces to my friends!
Them to his friends!
Cut him into even smaller pieces
Throw them into the air and yell, "it's snowing!"
Yell, "The sky is falling!" instead.
Instead of chopping him up I could cut off his tail and
Play 'pin the tail on the kouga'.
Make a list of 100 things to do with him.
Make Kagome Take him out on a date (cause it will make Inuyasha jealous)
Then make her take him to the Sady Hawkins dance.
Wait till he's nice and rotten and then take him to a party and say, "phew! What's that smell?"
Cut him up and put Him on a plate and say its cubed cheese.
Invite his friends to a party and feed them the cubed cheese
Tell them who it is and take pictures of their reactions.
Run for my life with the kouga cheese
Use the kouga cheese as a weapon and throw it at his friends to protect my self.
Convince them I was joking and that it isn't kouga while kagome gets the film developed.
Find Seshomaru and get him to revive him
Tell Kouga what I've done so far
Show him the pictures of his friends' reactions.
Because a living kouga is too busy thinking about Kagome,
Kill him again.
Take him fishing
Use him as bait when the fish don't bite.
Take him to a cemetery on Halloween and set up a sign near the entrance that says, "Dead end" if he lasts that long.
Make him wear sunglasses and wave at people as the drive by the cemetery.
Kick his ass when he keeps falling over because I can.
I'd take his fur mini and the rest of his outfit (yes, burnt) and try to convince Ayame I am kouga and barely survived a horrible battle.
Make a dress out of him and give it to her, even if she could probably smell whom it is made out of.
Run for my life some more.
Marvel at how hard making a list of a hundred things to do actually is.
Sit him against a tree and see how long his minions talk to him before they realize he's dead.
Turn him into a mannequin and have him 'talk' back to them.
Use him as my dummy at a talent contest.
If I win, I'd smash him on the stage like one of those rock stars
If I lose, I'd blame him and throw him in the dumpster.
I'd become a ruthless tyrant and Make my friends search for him in the dumpster
If they can't find him, make 'have you seen this dead guy' posters.
Brag to all my friends that I could run faster than him when I found him.
If they believe me, I'd rub it in his face (even though he is dead)
If they don't, I'd race him and bet all your money on me. (Yes, your cash)
I would race him anyway and Use him as the first place trophy.
Spend all the money I won from the race on buying kouga presents for him to give me.
Use him as a surfboard or a snowboard or a skateboard.
Use my new surf/snow/skate boards on a molten lava/frozen nitrogen/field of glass racetrack.
Clean him up
Bring him to a job interview and see if anyone notices.
Then if I had a big breakfast, I'd try to get him that job at the perfume shop. (Wink wink)
If that fails, I could always try the local general store
If there is more failure, everyone is accepted at McDonalds!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And if even that won't work, I can start a dog walking business
If he is just good for nothing, sell chew toys! (Meaning him)
Trade him for a giant meatball
Eat the meatball (Mmm gooooooood!!!!)
Try to buy him back and
Decide that Instead of just buying him, I'd plot to steal him back (the guy should just give him back to me.)
Start a mission to memorize the James Bond theme
Buy lots of black clothing.
Then I'd be a freak and Steal him back while wearing the black clothes and humming the James Bond theme.
Just for fun, put him back.
Practice your haggling skills when you buy him back
If you pay more than one dollarmake the guy eat Kouga's gym socks
If you pay less yell at the guy "you don't know the worth of a gigaplatz from a garden variety wergator" and mess with his mind a little till he runs away crying.
When it is cold enough, pour cold water on him and turn him into an ice sculpture
Put him on a stick and eat him like a Popsicle
Spit him out 'cause dead guys taste bad
Bring him to Kagome's school
Try to teach kids subtraction! (If kouga had two arms and we rip one off how many arms are left?)
Use one of the arms used the subtraction problem above as a javelin
Get into the Olympics and use the other arm
Use his kidney as a shot put
Tie his arms and legs together so they form a really long pole and enter the pole-vaulting competition
If I get a gold medal-throw my kouga equipment out into the crowd
If I get a silver medal-hit the gold medallist up side the head with your 'shot put'
If I get a bronze-roll kouga up into a ball and give it to the U.S. women's soccer team to use as a ball.
If I didn't get a medal at all-use kouga as a subject in my experiment to invent a spray I can use to turn the judges into ice cream sandwiches
Use the spray on the judges
Eat the ice cream
Trick his friends into thinking I'm him and use the ice cream spray on them!
Eat more ice cream
Ask kouga, "How in the world will I ever get to 100?"
Scream when he replies, "make it shorter."
Point at him and babble incoherently about talking corpses
Hit the 'dead' kouga over the head with a shovel
Bury the now unconscious 'zombie' in my hidden garden
Plant corn in the garden so no one can find the body
Eat lots of corn (I'm hungry. Can't you tell)?
Be sad that the fun is almost over
Try to cheer myself up by digging up his grave
Ask kouga if he would like this list sent to him
Try to run from the real kouga who is still living and actually prove I can run faster than him
If I can't run faster than him-don't scream, it only makes him kill slower
If I can run faster-go back to my home planet cause I'd be a freakin' alien!
Jump for joy! He's dead!
"Ah!" I screamed when Kagome took back her 'ti-puh-ri-ter.'
"Shippou! This is not a very nice list!" she yelled. I'm sure it wasn't at me. She must be talking about another Shippou.
"Let me see this!" Inuyasha said. He was very rude and just grabbed it from Kagome. Then he started laughing! He was so mean.
"It wasn't that funny!" Kagome said. But she started to laugh too! They're both so mean! Then I left so I could hand write a new list: 100 things to do with a giggling couple of twits!
Sorry if some if the things are 'you' instead of 'I'. Just try to remember Shippou is writing this and hopefully won't delete this, cause if they do, I'm giving up. Remember,I like thesecharacters as much as the next person; it is Shippou that is writing the hate lists. I'll have the next chapter up as soon asI have enough time with the two other fics i'm juggling (which it too much for me right now) and all the other ideasI want to turn into stories. hopefully, i can incorperate my new ideas into my old fics and cut down on my stress load, but don't expect a new chappie anytime soon.