Recruitment

I walked into a tavern.

Bad choice, I know; hang outs for brigands, thieves, adventurers. But what can I say? I ran a farm, milked cows, chased wolves from livestock, threshed…wheat.

It was a musty place; pipe smoke as thick as morning fog. Dim, oily lamps and a mandolin player playing muzak in the back. I sat down for a drink, ordered a pint and a piece of bread and butter.

I noticed something was different from the moment I had woken up; everything felt, fresh, new, oddly false. I can't explain it proper, I'm no elf.

There were less than ten people in the entire establishment; all of them muttering to themselves, swarthy, dirty folk. But there were four in the back who were different from all of the others. They sat at the oak table. A short fellow, Halfling surely, sitting on top of pillows to reach the table, he wore a dagger at his hip. A human, dressed entirely in plate armor; his ridiculously large sword resting against the wall. There was a fellow with greenish skin and fur garments, a spiked helm and a great axe he hugged like a toddler and his stuffed toy. A woman also; wearing practically nothing but fur undergarments. Not exactly standard fare for-

"December." I muttered aloud to myself. The four of them sat at that table like kings, it was strange to look at them; they seemed more real then anyone else in the tavern, as if they had been painted in brighter colors.

The armored man walked up to me. He pointed to the object I held in my hand.

"I see you've skill with a blade."

"That's a butter knife." I said.

"Want to join our party?" The armored man said. He pointed back to the table, where the other three were waving with idiot grins.

It was as if a choice was being presented to me; a choice that the universe seemed to hinge upon. I felt as if it was my purpose, my duty to join their party…

I rebelled against the universe. "No."

He recoiled as if I'd slapped him. "Well, why not?"

"Because…I'm a farmer, I have no reason to join a bunch of adventurers."

"Don't you want to right wrongs and stuff?"

"What wrongs?" I asked. Somewhere I felt the perverse pleasure of defiance.

A man suddenly ran into the tavern; "Help! Help! Orcs are attacking our village!"

"Wrongs like that!" The armored man said. "Come on! Let's help them!"

"No thanks…" I muttered. I began to leave.

As I opened the door to exit, a man sitting by the table grabbed my wrist; "You should fight those Orcs," he said. I left without talking to him.

There was something wrong as soon as I stepped onto the street, I could feel it in the substance of everything around me. I tried to buy fruit from a street vendor; "You should fight those Orcs." He said. I decided not to buy fruit, began to suspect a trend.

"Excuse me sir-"I asked a passer by.

"You know," he said, "You should really go fight those Orcs."

Panic and desperation began to grow in me. "I'm not going to fight any Orcs!"

I whirled around and ran straight into one of the adventurers from the tavern. "You have to join our party! Orcs are attacking!"

"No! No!" I cried. I ran screaming down the street, every person, every object was my enemy, the product of some cruel and alien mind.

An acquaintance of mine encountered me on the street, he called my name.

"You've got to help me," I tried to explain.

"You've got bigger problems, Orcs are destroying your farm!" He said to me, "You should go fight them! And find some adventurers to help you!"

I ran faster, all the streets began to look the same, I'm sure I passed the tavern at least three times, and at all the windows, that party of adventurers waved with those hideous grins pasted on their faces.

I ran to the cliff, stood perched over its rim. "I'm not going to fight those Orcs!" I shouted to the heavens.

"Why do you people give me such a hard time?" The heavens said back. I didn't stop to think about how strange it was; that would've been ironic.

I leapt off the cliff, saw the rocks and branches hurling past me. The bottom of the cliff sped toward me, as if I was stationary and was about to be struck by a charging tarresque.

I landed in a pool of water that wasn't there before; a pair of sollerets stood before me, connected to greaves and-

"You should really help us fight those Orcs." The armored man said. Behind him, his smiling party waved.