Part 12

Katie watched her mother's eyes soften in obvious memory and a slight smile play at the corner of her lips, and she patiently waited for her to come back from the past…

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Catherine sashayed towards the table where Eddie sat, her eyes intent on the man sitting beside him. He intrigued her, and she remembered how while Eddie's eyes had travelled up and down her body, mainly fixating on her chest, this man had watched her eyes the entire night.

"Want to introduce me to your friend, Ed?"

"Oh, right. Gil Grissom, this is Cath. Catherine, Gil." Eddie downed another beer. "You look great."

"Thanks," Catherine replied, her attention turning back to Gil, who had yet to say a word. "What did you think?" she asked him.

"You have lovely eyes. Very expressive," he murmured.

Eddie groaned. "Grissom works with dead bodies."

"Actually, I work evidence," Gil clarified to Eddie, who clearly wasn't interested.

But Catherine was. Catherine was fascinated.

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"Mom?"

Catherine's head whipped around. "Huh?"

"Were you in a nice place?"

Catherine smiled wryly. "Sorry. I was just thinking." She sighed. "Thinking of how to tell you."

"Just tell me the truth." Katie made herself comfortable on the bed. "Just as long as you leave out the gross details."

"What do you know?"

Katie narrowed her eyes. "About the gross details?"

Catherine laughed and lay back beside her. "No. About my life in general."

Katie shrugged. "Just what I saw in the papers. And what I found on various hacking sprees. All in all, just bits and pieces."

"So you know I was married before?"

"To Eddie."

Catherine nodded. "Yes, to Eddie. Twice actually."

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain. I guess I thought he was safe."

Katie looked confused. "I thought he hurt you?"

"He did. But…I was young and confused. I was addicted to cocaine then too."

Her daughter's eyes widened. "You were addicted to cocaine?"

"That was one of the reasons I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant." Catherine touched her daughter's face, something she had wanted to do for a very long time. "I was so afraid that you would be born addicted to it and I didn't want to do that to you."

"But I didn't," Katie said. "I'm fine."

Catherine smiled sadly. "You're wonderful. Perfect, even." She absently toyed with her fries and finally looked back up. "I was also a stripper. That's where I met Gil. And Eddie for that matter."

"Beats a bar," Katie smirked.

Catherine rolled her eyes. "Trust me, you will not be meeting guys in strip clubs." She chewed on a fry. "The jury is still out on bars."

Katie stole a fry from Catherine's plate. "I can't imagine dad in a strip club."

Catherine smirked. "It was certainly a sight to behold." She shook her head and went back to the original subject. "Anyway, I married Eddie back then. It was short, explosive and we weren't ready for marriage. Eddie and I both had a cocaine problem and I guess the cocaine had different effects on each of us. Cocaine and alcohol made Eddie angry." She looked at her hands. "I probably didn't help. I wanted to work with Gil as a CSI and Gil wanted me to stop using." She sighed. "I suppose that Eddie was probably jealous because when I needed someone, I started calling Gil instead. So we separated."

"I guess this is where I come in," Katie said. She had never thought she had been born because of pity.

Catherine saw the look in her daughter's eyes and quickly put a hand on her arm. "I know what you're thinking. Don't. I loved Gil. I loved him back then and I was stupid to run away from what I felt. But I did. And I grew up a little. Obviously I didn't outgrow Eddie, but I did grow up." She sat back. "I went to see Eddie sometimes. I suppose he was the first person to love me after my parents, and I clung to that. I clung to it very hard. Unfortunately, Eddie didn't and we used to fight a lot. One night it was very bad, and after Eddie left, I called Gil to come and get me." Her smile returned, her memories special. "He was so important to me and so good to me. And I loved him very much. Still do." She hugged her daughter. "That's where you came in."

"Okay." Katie snuggled up to her mother. "Then the talk is over now?"

Catherine looked down at her. "No. I want to tell you why."

"I don't need to know that."

"Yes you do," Catherine said firmly. "And I need to tell you." She stroked her daughter's hair. "I wanted you. I was determined to have you. I stayed in Las Vegas till I started showing too much, then I went to Miami, where I had an old friend. I was so incredibly scared. This friend suggested I give you up for adoption. So I signed the papers and I prayed for someone who would look after you well. And they came and I signed even more papers." Her eyes glistened with tears. "And you were born and you were perfect. And as much as I knew I couldn't take care of you the way you deserved. I held you in my arms and you looked at me. I couldn't believe how much you looked like me and Gil. I hesitated. I didn't want to let you go but…I did. I let you go."

"It's okay. I'm okay."

"Twenty-eight hours of labour. You turned around halfway. In my mind, you were asking me not to let you go. But I had to." She sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Did I make any sort of sense?"

Katie nodded. "I think I understand now."

Catherine smiled. "I'm glad."

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During the night, Catherine awoke and rolled over, staring at the box on the bedside table. She missed Gil, more than she had thought possible. And God, she wanted to marry him.

"Would you just put the thing on?" Katie mumbled, turning over.

Catherine turned around. "Huh?"

"You love him, he loves you. I'm not entirely sure what the problem is."

Catherine sighed. "The problem is…it's complicated."

"What in life isn't complicated? My whole existence is complicated." Katie stared at her mother. "What do you want?"

Catherine narrowed her eyes. "Have you become a counsellor now?"

Katie shrugged. "I just figure, that if you really want something, go for it. Forget everything else and any consequences." She smiled. "I did."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, before I came back here looking for you, I had to think of the consequences. My adoptive parents, you, Dad. The future. Everything. And then I figured, screw it. I didn't want anything else in life but to know you or at least see you for real." Katie grinned. "I figure it all turned out okay, yeah?"

Catherine nodded. She opened the box and stared at the ring inside. Without a moment's hesitation, she removed it from the box and slipped it on her finger. It fit. Perfectly.

"Great, now I'm going back to sleep. Night," Katie said, turning on her side.

"Night," Catherine murmured, staring at the ring. She smiled and closed her eyes.

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Part 13