Title: Shadows Against a Shoji Screen
Series: Inuyasha
Chapter 22
Genre: romance/action/adventure/drama
Chapter's primary characters: Kagome/Sesshoumaru
Chapter's secondary characters: Hiroyoshi/Kaede
AN: Well, in this chapter we see the return of "Hagakure" which is the book of the samurai. I decided to go back a bit to this book because, really, we have a lot to learn from it. Hopefully, I will not use the same quotes I did in my past stories. But, alot of this book has stuff like, "If you cut a face diagonally (or was it vertically?), stomp on it, and urinate on it, the skin will peel off". Now really, how is that relevant to this story, hm? Anyways, also, there is return of haiku. I love haiku. Or maybe, these are actually poems…oh well.
Originally, chapters 21+22 were going to be one long chapter, but I decided breaking them up was better, because the chapter would have been like…30 pages long, or else I would have made the ending shorter than it should have been. Anyways, you guys want all the action in this chapter anyways.
Notes: depending on what I find in my Cultural Dictionary of Japan (gosh, it is a handy thing. If you plan on writing a story with lots of references, this helps a lot! It's just sort of hard to find because it was printed in the 70's…) I will use references to architecture. But I won't use them so much that you will have to reference every word.
*
Shadows Against a Shoji Screen
Chapter 22
Lights Aglow with Dreams of Reality
The music continued on, as though it planned to play until eternity. The dull cry of voices far below muted the sound somewhat, but still the twang of the Shamisen and the great roaring thunder of the Taiko drums still managed to float upward to the tip of the pine tree where Sesshoumaru rested lazily against the trunk. He gazed unemotionally at the swarming bodies below him, their movements echoing the dancers above on a small wooden platform stage. The young watched hesitantly from the position in the front and tried to the best of their ability to follow the movements. The adults and teenagers were alike; unsure of the movements as well, so often they were delayed by several seconds. Looking down from high above, their hindrance was most evident. Perhaps it was the elders who managed the dancing to the greatest affect. Their movements were not calculated or hesitant, but instead graceful after many years of practicing at festivals.
Perhaps, thought Sesshoumaru, a slight grin gracing his handsome features, one of the few adults that managed the dancing with the same knowledge of the elder and the grace of the performers on stage, was Kagome. Her movements were fluid like water, moving breezily into the next step; the next wave of the hand, the following swish of the arm. Her golden folding fan glinted and caught the light as she twisted her wrist to each of the movements.
For some time now, high above in his pine tree, Sesshoumaru had been watching Kagome. He was beginning to comprehend why she found the dancing so wonderful. It was not as though it required great effort, yet the affects it gave off were pleasant and enjoyable. It was a sport all could participate in, no matter their experience level. It was a time for her to shine among the people of the real world.
This was not to say he wished to dance. No. Far from it.
Reaching inside the lining of his attire, Sesshoumaru withdrew a small slim novel which had been reading earlier that day. Sesshoumaru found in particularly ironic that the book fell open to the particular page onto which was only written a single poem by the Emperor of the Muromachi period.
My miserable state
Is apparent even to you—
Know that my concern
For my beloved people
Even now remains unchanged
From the glow of the lanterns far below him, Sesshoumaru had more than enough light to browse through the pages of the manuscript. His long tapered fingers occasionally flicked through the sheets, searching for a particularly brilliant poem in which he could contemplate the meaning for several minutes.
The intermission of the Obon had come and gone and Sesshoumaru presumed that Kagome would continue to dance for the remainder of the festival. However, it was his presumption which would be his temporary downfall.
Indeed it is true
That I have quite forgotten
The passage of time—
It was not until he read the poem half way through that a cold chill suddenly crept through his spine. The lanterns were slowly beginning to flicker to an end, although those remaining still gave off enough light in which to read by. Yet, he had been so engrossed by the words that he had not noticed that the festival had ended quite some time ago. The area in which the villagers had been dancing was now bare except for a few people cleaning the litter and pulling down the lanterns from the rafters ahead. Through the glow and multi-colored paper orbs, Sesshoumaru saw the servant that he had directed to watch after Kagome sitting glumly on a box, his head rested in his hands.
He did not appear to be drunk, no, on the contrary, just frightened and angry.
Snapping the book shut in fury, Sesshoumaru quickly descended the tree in the easiest and quickest way possible. That being, of course, to jump from the limb some fifty meters above the ground. For a few seconds the wind whipped out his clothes and his long hair—yet it ended suddenly, almost as soon as it had begun. Although the landing was light and not painful, he still startled the villagers who looked at him in horror.
"I-It is Sesshoumaru-sama!" one of them screamed in terror.
All those that were in the immediate vicinity fell to the ground, bowing their heads in terror. They knew of Sesshoumaru's bloodthirsty nature.
Humans..., Sesshoumaru thought darkly to himself as he strode quickly towards his servant who was looking up at him, fear shining in his great wide eyes. Like the villagers, he too feared for his life.
"Where is she?" Sesshoumaru hissed sharply, lifting up the servant by the collar and digging his claws into his skin, stopping just before he drew blood.
"Your life depends on your answer...," Sesshoumaru hissed in a dark voice, hinting of the pain yet to come. Pain was inevitable, at least in the servant's case--but suffering, well that was optional, "Where is she?" he repeated. His voice had turned ice cold, and there was such a contrast between his voice and the fire ablaze in his eyes, threatening to wreck havoc on all that he touched.
The servant began to shiver, and through chattering teeth he whispered, large salty tears streaming down his round face, "She has vanished my lord!"
Throwing him into the dirt, Sesshoumaru stood above him, his lip sneering in repulsion and rage. Saying nothing, yet intent evident in his eyes, Sesshoumaru stalked out into the night. His blood was pounding through his body in anger and frustration, not only at Kagome, but at his own foolishness. Of course something like this was bound to happen! No doubt, Kagome had tried to escape and now he would have to go and find her out in the wild.
As he strode out into the quiet and clear night, an emotion of questioning ran like lightening through his body.
Why would she wish to leave?
Sniffing the air for her scent (quite easy to do so, considering he knew it so well) he paced out into the star filled night; unaware of the state he would find Kagome in…
*
The courtyard of the temple was particularly quiet and devoid of people when Kagome entered. Lanterns glowed peacefully overhead dimly lighting the far off shadows that lurked and surrounded the grounds. The stones seemed to be seeped in the deepest black that shone glossy like water so it gave the illusion that she was walking across liquid. The stars above were particularly bright, as though the lantern light was like a source of energy to them. The pine trees were inky like; dim, blurry and one large mass only distinctive by the top of each tree. Compared to the hustle and bustle, the voices, the music, the shouts, the whispers, the yells; the temple was a surreal place for Kagome, a place that reminded her of her residence for the past months. It was beautiful, full of history, yet it was the people which made this flower bloom.
The temple itself was Shinto in its architectural style so that there were no bright shades of red painted on the columns; all was in shades that the earth gave; browns, grays, whites and blacks. This was comforting as well, for here she felt more at peace with the world, as though she belonged, as though her existence somehow meant something to someone somewhere.
To someone…
Closing her eyes, she clutched at the folding fan which she had been idly holding as she walked down the lonely and deserted streets of the village. It was only at this moment that fear clutched her heart and forced her to see the shadows as frightening shapes, the wind no longer gentle but yelling through her ears.
Calling out into the darkness which now seemed to surround her, she heard the rustle of leaves and was relieved to find the Hiroyoshi and Kaede speedily walking towards her form from across the courtyard. It seemed as though they had been waiting for some time for her and Kagome felt slightly guilty that she had taken so long. Obviously these figures were on a mission of some importance and it had been her girlish wishes to dance which had prolonged the service they wished to render.
"Please excuse me for my lateness," Kagome apologized, bowing deeply.
Kaede and Hiroyoshi smiled softly down at the young girl. She was really quite...unique. Although she was eighteen years old, she still had the curiosity of a child, yet there was something strangely fierce and dark within her soul which at times would appear and startle whoever was to witness the transformation.
"Do not think anything of it," Kaede insisted, "We have heard you were looking forward to this festival, and it was our ill-timed arrival that did not allow you to enjoy it to the fullest."
Kagome said nothing, but looked at them, obviously waiting for the purpose of the meeting.
Hiroyoshi coughed, but said nothing. This tale was his wife's to tell and he would take as little part in the whole event as was possible. It would be hard to make the girl believe, it would be hard to make her see, to make her trust, to make her understand. Oh, how difficult was this obstacle. Yet, once they cleared that initial hill the sailing would be smooth and easy like a ship afloat on a cloudless and breezy day.
"Please, Kagome-sama, sit down," Kaede offered, motioning to a large rock some few feet off. It was no tatami mat, yet it served its temporary function.
Kagome, although impatient and unsure, did so, yet continued to look at the two people who had appeared out off the shadows like a fox.
"Kagome, you are eighteen years old, am I correct?" Kaede began, not really expecting an answer, for she already knew what it would be. Kagome nodded, and Kaede continued on, "Wait, no, this is a terrible start."
She thought for a moment, biting her nail in apprehension. A few seconds later, she began afresh.
"When I was a young girl I had a sister who was a priestess at a shrine which guarded a jewel of legend known as the Shikon no Tama. Have you heard of this jewel?"
Kagome admitted, "I always thought it was but an old wives tale, myself."
"Understandable," Kaede agreed, nodding and grinning, "Even I, who was her sister, find the turn of events impossible to believe. Yet, there they are. One must accept what life gives them and do the best with what the have."
Kaede paused for a long moment and released an amount of pent up air which seemed to become constricted in her body, "It was eighteen years ago that my sister died on an evening in midsummer. You see…," Kaede paused, her cheeks aflame and her eyes filled with moisture. She was unsure, unsteady, what came next was the hardest thing to utter.
"You are the reincarnation of my sister, Kikyou, who died those eighteen years ago on that midsummer night."
Kagome blinked and moved uneasily about on the rock. What had they just said? She was a reincarnation of a priestess? She wished to believe them, with all her heart, yet it did not make sense. The thought seemed so romantic and so unbelievable, the plot twist that would be found in an engrossing novel. Why would she of all be people be reincarnated as this priestess? Why her? She had no powers, this she was sure of.
"You must be mistaken," Kagome assured, standing now, and gazing at the two with dark and serious eyes.
"No, we are not mistaken." Kaede whispered, shutting her eyes, tears trickling down her cheeks.
Hiroyoshi spoke for the first time. His voice was quiet and low, yet convincing in its sound. He touched his wife on the shoulder and steadied her slightly; Kaede had never truly recovered from her sister's unfortunate and gruesome death.
"Understand, Kagome-sama, this hardly made sense to us in the beginning. It seemed highly unlikely that you should be the reincarnation of the priestess Kikyou. Yet think…Kikyou died in midsummer, and you were conceived in the early months of summer allowing for your birth in spring. Along with that…if it were not you, then why would Naraku be so interested in assuring that he had you under his grasp when the time came to enact whatever he was indeed planning?"
Kagome leaned against the smooth rock for support and clutched her forehead.
"This…this cannot be…! How do you know of Naraku? How is it that you know I am her reincarnation? It makes no sense. I am Kagome, a girl from a wealthy family, wife to Inuyasha—but nothing more am I. There is nothing more to me than you see here standing before you." Kagome insisted truthfully. Yet as she spoke these words that she presumed so blindly were the truth, a small crack began to form—and it soon grew bigger until it threatened to overturn her already discombobulated world.
As she sat there, gazing at the two religious figures, images of long ago began to flash through her mind like a lightening storm in deep summer. The memories of her childhood were coming back to her now; the instances in her dreams in which she would recall a silver haired person by her side or crying on her shoulder. She had often asked her mother if they had known a silver-haired gentleman, but always the answer was the same. Always she was rejected in these beliefs—always told that "No, they had never known a silver-haired person." Was this silver-haired man the Inuyasha of eighteen years ago? Were those dreams in reality a memory from a past life she was unaware of?
"But it is true, Kagome-sama," Hiroyoshi stated, stepping forward and looking her firmly in the eye. There was no joke or mocking in his eyes; only the truth as he saw it. "It is."
Kagome was standing now.
"Then why…why is Naraku after me? Why is it that he has kept me alive? If I am what he is after, why doesn't he kill me?" Kagome questioned furiously, stepping back and averting her head so that she did not look at Hiroyoshi. An aura of anger surrounded her figure threatening to wreak havoc on her emotionally unstable form. She was nearing the edge…
Why, Kagome wondered to herself frantically, did she have to be the reincarnation? Why was it she who was so subjected to this torture? She would have much rather been a peasant rather than have to deal with the formalities of the court, the rules of love, the rules of not loving—the boundaries, the constant boundaries!
Kaede forced Kagome's eyes to meet her own, and she answered slowly, steadily and seriously. Perhaps her voice was the most serious at this time during the conversation. There was not pity, only the truth that glowed like fireflies among the lanterns.
"Within you, Kagome-sama, you carry the jewel; the Shikon no Tama."
Kagome stepped back and asked, "You cannot be serious. That is just an old wives' tale!"
"No, Kagome…it is as real as you." Hiroyoshi whispered from his position, once again behind his hakama-clad wife who was trying desperately to convince Kagome of the truth.
What was truth, after all? Was not truth subjective in its own right?
Yet what was the purpose of 'this truth'? What would it accomplish? Pain, suffering—believing that your life no longer belonged to you? What was the purpose to the truth; why not be deluded, yet content, among the deep forest of lies?
"Than I am not real," Kagome whispered, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. She looked down at her hands, studying them as though they were transparent and through the layers of skin she could see the ground beneath her. "My life is not my own, but it belongs to your sister…"
Kaede shook her head and insisted, "Kagome! You are real, you are alive—you live, just as all of us live. Your life is chosen by your choices, not my sister's. Already I can see aspects in you that my sister never demonstrated. Yes, my sister was the most powerful miko of her time, but the bravery and the lust of life that you exhibit…they were not a part of her. My sister was powerful, but her power could not make her enjoy life…Kagome, you are you. Kikyou was Kikyou. And although you only share a power and a common goal—this does not make you her!" Kaede's face was streaked with tears, as though the things which she had spoken up had been tormenting her for years, as though she was finally able to accept her sister for what she indeed was; a woman with no lust for life that had been so carelessly thrown away.
Kagome said nothing, still looking down at her hands, transfixed to the spot. She looked up a few moments later, her eyes dilated with the tears that streamed down her face. She bowed, slowly, saying nothing—but the purpose was demonstrated in the eyes. She had accepted the fact that yes; she was the reincarnation of Kikyou, yet not the same purpose. But still, this new information spun around her head—she had to be alone, she had to slowly sort out the information piece by piece…
Her life had suddenly become pieces she had to slowly pick up. A time consuming task.
She left them, Hiroyoshi and Kaede, standing next to the main shrine of the temple their eyes sympathetic to her plight yet full of determination for an unknown cause. Perhaps she was their cause.
Stumbling over the steps which suddenly seemed as slippery as ice, Kagome clung to the trunk of a pine tree for support, her breath coming rapidly and raspy. She closed her eyes and swallowed, trying to block out the world. So…what of her new life—she thought darkly to herself—wasn't she not a new person this evening? A few moments later, she had escaped the world and was falling rapidly into a warm and comforting darkness where all was revealed—for the young girl had fainted amongst the dried leaves of yesterday.
*
Her scent was relatively easy to track as he traveled further away from the crowds still remaining from Obon. As he continued in a southerly route, Sesshoumaru wondered idly to himself why Kagome would travel out so far—nearly to the end of the small little village. As he neared the crest of a hill, overlooking nothing but open roads and rice fields, a fleeting and hysterical emotion grasped at him. Although he could not detect Kagome's scent past the hill, it instead followed up a gravel road no wider than three meters across. This hill lead directly into the dark and imposing forest that eventually led to the base of hill at where lay his fortress. Had Kagome decided to take this path home? Sesshoumaru was unsure where the path lead to, but he had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that it did not lead to his domain.
Stepping up the road quickly he found that her scent of lilacs began to grow increasingly strong with every step he took. The scent over powered above all others, even that of the surrounding pine trees. Was this his imagination, he wondered, that intensified her scent? Or, were there other causes?
His pace quickened and before he was even aware of his actions he found himself running swiftly up a flight of stairs, the forest surrounding him like a blanket on either side. His heart and his head were both insisting that something was terribly wrong. Why had he ever allowed Kagome to go to the blasted festival in the first place?! Why had he even considered it!?
Why…
Why? Oh, that is too easy, Sesshoumaru—his mind thought in an amused voice.
Oh? Then please explain. He thought begrudgingly.
You wished her happiness.
That is preposterous.
Oh? Perhaps it is then…perhaps you wished for your happiness.
After all…you can not stand in a fire and help but be consumed…
He would have mentally kicked himself, but it was at this point, dimly unaware of his surroundings, he looked down towards the roots of a nearby tree that he found Kagome's fallen body sprawled about the gnarled figurines as though the tree had reached out and grabbed her. Her face was pale and stained with tears and her mouth slightly parted as though she had been breathing heavily. Although her yukata did not seem tampered with by less than honorable intentions, there was something about her that reeked of sorrow and loss and forlorn.
He sank to her side.
Feeling her head he found that she had no fever but had just appeared to have suffered from something troubling or disturbing. Pausing as he reached down to cradle her in his arms, he withdrew for a second. Every moment he was with her, it seemed impossible to believe the girl was married to his half-brother Inuyasha. It seemed impossible to imagine that she was bound to that hanyou for the rest of her days—it was impossible to imagine her future with Inuyasha, when at the present there was so much more that he, Sesshoumaru, could offer.
Placing his hand against her shoulder, he looked about and noticed that through the leaves and needles trees he could see the glow of lanterns. The path curved around towards a dwelling (which turned out to be the village temple). The village inhabitants must have begun the festival at the shrine then flowed down the hill into the area in which Obon took place. However, the lanterns were still lit and glowing cheerfully among the arches and sculpted greenery. Every so often, however, a lantern would become subject to the wind and would fall to the ground, its candle extinguished. During those mighty gusts which poured down from the mountain, the whole world seemed to flicker and Sesshoumaru wondered idly if life was an illusion.
Looking down once again at Kagome, he held in his heart an emotion of deep sorrow, but diligently and unemotionally as he could manage, he slowly cradled her in his arms and continued up the pathway towards the temple alit with globes of happiness itself.
By the time that he reached the temple gardens, Kagome was beginning to stir and groan. It was a pleasant feeling, thought Sesshoumaru, and how comfortably Kagome seemed to fit in his arms. It was as though the pair that went together and had been separated from each other for a long and lonely period of time. Yet, Sesshoumaru thought darkly, their separation would have to continue much longer indeed, no matter how much he desired her at this moment. Closing his eyes, Sesshoumaru focused his thoughts.
The garden of the temple was lush and full of a variety of plants. The camellias were still blooming in the soft light, their pastel pink and deep red edges reflecting the simple beauty that was characteristic of the shrine itself.
Placing Kagome down against a bench carved out of a large chunk of granite from some nearby quarry, Sesshoumaru gently leaned her torso against his side. The weight was not cumbersome, but pleasant and perfectly respectable.
Closing his eyes once again, Sesshoumaru listened to Kagome's breath heave in and out. Soon, she would awake from the dark dream which had possessed her temporarily. Perhaps, Sesshoumaru thought incredulously, the girl would actually tell him about her tragic plight. Though, why would he be so lucky as to hear what was ailing her when he himself locked his own emotions from the day? It was a strange relationship the two of them shared and consisted mainly of the energy that each fed off of one another—there was nothing actually said, but perhaps everything was implied and subtle. Autumn was never announced every year—it just happened, it was accepted and anticipated.
As he sat there, his body hunched over and his head resting in his hands, he thought deeply. Upon discovering her body in the woods, Sesshoumaru had vowed not to scold the girl for her foolishness of wandering off. If he perceived correctly, there had been a deeper meaning behind her departure from Obon and her arrival at the Jinja. There had been a purpose—something that had to be done, without exception, without delay; instantly. Also, it appeared that whatever had been her purpose in visiting the sacred place it had ended not as she would have wished it. No doubt, Kagome, the bird always anxious to see the world, had come to the place with the best intentions. Yes…perhaps it was easier to begin everything with the best intentions…
Yet, she was slowly awakening now, he could feel that her breathing had stopped and imagined her opening her deep eyes and taking in a gasp not yet recognizing her surroundings. She had for so long been spending her nights in her private quarter at his domain that perhaps everything else seemed foreign and rather…dare he ponder, frightening? More over, hardly anyone expected to wake up in the middle of a Shinto Shrine.
"Sesshoumaru…?" Kagome questioned, sitting slowly up, unconsciously touching his back for support as she leaned forward. Not yet looking at her or reacting to her touch that caused his skin to tingle slightly, Sesshoumaru heard the rustle of fabric and imagined that she was reaching for her head with her other hand. Yet, upon looking at her, he found that she was instead reaching for her neck where a pendant sparkled and glittered in the lantern light. He had never noticed the jewel before, and he wondered in interest—is that new?
"Are you alright, Kagome?" Sesshoumaru questioned; his own concern off-putting to even himself. It was so uncharacteristic of his behavior that he felt rather ill at ease and nervous—though he would admit to nothing. Yet nevertheless, it was strange. It always seemed like such a struggle in regular conversation not to say her name, but then at other points it seemed the hardest thing in the world to say this word that consisted of three little syllables.
"I'm fine," Kagome replied, glancing up at him, a tired and sad smile blossoming on her features like the nearby camellias. "I just…" She noticed that her hand was resting upon his side, and glancing up at him, she withdrew it slowly and placed it in her lap.
Looking at Sesshoumaru as though trying to judge whether or not she should inform him of the information and turn of events she had just been subjected to. She needed to tell someone, she realized desperately. Kagome needed to release herself from the burden that was troubling her heart and pulling precariously at its strings.
It still seemed so unreal, so unbelievable…and would Sesshoumaru accept her word? Did she wish him to?
"A priest and priestess spoke to me," she confided, fingering the other pendant that had been placed in the safety of her yukata.
There were two pendants it seemed, thought Sesshoumaru, his eyes sliding to newly presented object. That around her neck, a golden color, and that which lay in her hand; the stone of the deepest blue. She had withdrawn it, and was stroking the glass almost tenderly, as though such a movement would remedy any fear and trepidation that still remained.
Sesshoumaru said nothing, but instead studied her features. Still remnant was the sparkle of Obon, the dancing, the voices, the music—the joy had not been lost to recent tragic event. She looked the most beautiful at this moment, here under the lanterns.
"They said I am the reincarnation of Inuyasha's past lover."
A bird called for its mate from far away in the deep forest.
Sesshoumaru's incredulity was evident and he scoffed and spat, "They deserved to be thrown in the dungeon for lies they speak. It would not surprise me if they, whoever they are, were half-insane."
"No."
Kagome closed her eyes, and leaned her head against Sesshoumaru's shoulder. This, like her hand earlier, was an unconscious act; as though she looked to him for her strength. Yet the action surprised both of them, for physical contact had never happened between the two of them before—well, not voluntarily at least, and each were unsure how the other would react. Each expected the other to pull away in disgust or embarrassment; yet it was curious, for the two did not move from their positions.
"No, I think I believe her." Kagome whispered, still clutching the blue pendant, "It makes sense…it makes sense to so many things. Why I have memories to a life which is not my own, why Naraku desires me alive, why—,"
She did not continue her train of thought, but instead stood up suddenly, a smile on her lips and she offered, "Come, let us take a walk." She knew that Sesshoumaru would not understand; she knew that he would not believe as she did. Both knew that this conversation would end only in circles, creating a deep gash between the relationship that neither wished for. Both knew this and spoke no more of Kikyou, or the unspoken of jewel.
Looking up at her from his seated position, Sesshoumaru shook his head and smiled sadly to himself, "You are a strange bird indeed."
Kagome only chose to smile more broadly. It was a beautiful smile—a true smile, that which displayed all the happiness she had consumed during the night along with happiness that was to come. The cool wind now wrapped around them both, its temperature comforting and oddly calming to Kagome's still ruffled feathers. It was a cold wind that cleansed the soul and made it bare and naked in the light of the world.
Standing to join Kagome, Sesshoumaru looked down at the top of her head and was suddenly swept over with a wave of possession. He wanted Kagome to be his, perhaps more so than ever desiring his half-brother's sword. Was Kagome worth a treasure such as that?
The two were standing on an arching bridge overlooking a pond in which the koi swam lazily under the dancing rings of night air. The moon high above seemed dwarfed by the stars in the sky and even the lanterns took a second place compared to their grand expansion across the night sky.
Kagome glanced up at Sesshoumaru, wondering what was running through his mind—yet as she did so, she was startled to find him looking intensely down at her. Not pulling away from his eyes, she looked up at him wondering what exactly he was reflecting upon. She wanted to know him so deeply so that she would no longer have to guess. She wished to know each emotion, each expression, each glimmer in his eyes…
Kagome closed her eyes to avoid his gaze that was beginning to bear into her soul and causing it to beat faster and faster. She knew hope was useless—for even if something deeper than respect ran between the two of them, what was their hope? Where was their evening star to wish upon?
It was no use, thought Sesshoumaru desperately, he had to know what it was like to have her. Sesshoumaru had to know what his brother possessed and did not treasure.
Once again, his brother had proved his idiocy.
Reaching out suddenly, he forcefully drew her towards her so that there was no space in between their bodies. Gripping at her light cotton yukata, he could feel the warmth of her skin beneath his finger tips. Her eyes looked up into his, glowing and deep and full of the emotion that had taken him so long to realize; and he knew quite suddenly that this was what each had searched for. It had been his pride, his over-powering youkai pride that had blinded the most beautiful of elements he had ever stumbled upon by pure chance.
And now, she was his…
Leaning down to envelope her in a kiss, he felt her head burry against his chest and whisper softly and in the most tortured voice he had ever heard; "We mustn't."
Sesshoumaru leaned his head against the top of hers and breathed in the scent of her; the scent he would never forget no matter how many years he roamed this lonely planet. Her scent was probably everything he desired in a woman; the sweet smell of lilacs, the spiciness of juniper and the deep strength of sandalwood all combined to create something he had…
…and something he did not have as well.
She was right of course. It was different for her; a female bound to the laws of her kind. It was bad enough that for several months she had lived in a man's home unaccompanied; but now, the two were threatening to go against the laws of marriage. They were falling in love. It was unfair. So terribly unfair and nothing could stop it.
"Kagome," Sesshoumaru whispered darkly, holding her tighter, trying to take a piece of her with him.
No. For the two of them, there was only now. Today. Tomorrow. And any other days they would be granted together. And after that…what if? What would become of their doomed affair?
You cannot stand in a fire and help but be consumed…
Kagome was his fire, and how slowly he was sinking into ashes. How quickly he became weakened at the sight of her—how easily he had allowed his defenses to fall to her face. Yet were these sudden attacks really so unwelcome? Had he, since the beginning, always been impenetrable to her eyes and witty repartee? It was ironic that his greatest weakness was the woman of his brother; the woman caught between duty and emotion. The woman whose life, through his desires, had turned to shambles.
There was only now, Sesshoumaru told himself, looking up into the lantern light and suddenly feeling the world was a wretched and unfair place for the first time in his long life.
The two held each other close under the lantern light, and slowly, Sesshoumaru whispered to her, "When the war ends…so will this affair. At the present, there is only now and what tomorrow will bring…"
Kagome held him closer than she had ever hoped to in her life. Never had she wished for time to stop in such a way as she did now. Never had she wished for the dawn of the new day to disappear and for it to remain this perfect night forever. The two of them, embraced under the lanterns, their love painful to the touch.
Because there was a seed
A pine has grown even here
On these barren rocks;
If we really love our love
What can keep us from meeting?
******
End Part II
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Shamisen [samisen]: a traditional Japanese banjo like musical instrument with 3 strings. The body is covered with catskin. The samisen is played with a triangular ivory plectrum (bachi) by clucking the three strings, the heavier string giving a deeper tone than the lighter one. It is used for music accompany Bunraku and Kabuki as well as other narrative kinds of folk music.
Obon: the Bon Festival celebrated on July 15—August 15 depending on the areas of Japan. According to popular Buddhist belief, ancestral spirits return to their families during the festival. Religious services are held at all temples and families pray in front of the home altar and family grave, offering incense and small sweets. Many lanterns are lit to guide the spirits in their journeys home, and so the Bon Festival is also called the Feast of Lanterns. During this festival, people throughout Japan perform Bon folk dances in the evening to comfort and entertain their ancestors. After the Bon season is over, the spirits are said to return to heaven.
AN: So…hmm, what did everyone think of that chapter? I found it a bit OOC myself, what with Sesshoumaru and all—but I figure, if I am gunna make him OOC, might as well do a full blown version of him, y'know? I mean, if its gunna happen, might as well do it. Anyways, so yeah, the long awaited confession of feelings. Any thoughts on that one? Now, everyone is really wondering where this is going, I think.
So, yes, chapter 22 ends Part II of the story. So far, we have covered part I: the beginning and part II: the romance. Now, we move onto part III [the war]. This is not to say part III will be purely about warfare. Actually, this story is generally a romance, so at least 3 chapters will be dedicated to war and the rest of how many other chapters there are will be for minor characters, figuring out tactics, and also more self discovery. Remember, this is technically classified under "romance/drama". So, is there enough drama here for you? Hm? Hm? Hm?
La dee daa, so, that was the anticipated Obon dance—where you really didn't see much dancing anyways. Oh well.
Kaede issues: it was mentioned in a past review [way long ago by the time this is actually posted] that they were having problems with visualizing the 'young Kaede'. Yes, I can see how you are having problems with that…so sort think of Kaede as an un-annoying version of Rei from SM. That is about the best I can do character wise. I know, it is impossible for Rei not to be un-annoying, but what you can you do. It was the first thing that came to mind. Maybe…I dunno, oh, uhm…that other miko chick from Love Hina? Yeah? Maybe her more…
So, thoughts, questions, commentary, suggestions? Love to hear from you. It's discouraging, my fellow fanfic writers agree that PWP's are becoming a bit too popular… [fyi: PWP's= Plot? What Plot? Or…Porn Without Plot]
Feel free to e-mail me at cappiepost@yahoo.com I am very nice, I swear, and usually reply promptly unless I am gone for a few days (which would be during my summer vacation which is officially over anyhow)
Or AIM me @: kantou matsuri or cappiechan [I swear, I am also nice to talk to here too. But it would be appreciated if you had a profile so I could make sure you weren't an annoying porn-IMer. God, I just want to kick them!]
Read, review, say "Pikachu!" [have I done that one yet? If so: Read, Review, say "Daewoo!"]
Questionnaire: Okay, who got a little teary eyed?? I sure did! Gosh, it is so sad. *sobs* Noooo…
But hey, don't loose faith. True love always finds a way. Ohohohoho! *pompous laugh*
Sincerely
[cappie]