Title: A Day in the Life of David King
Author: cannibaljelloyahoo.com
Rating: I think this chapter would qualify as PG-13
Notes: Italics = thoughts.
But man, if I keep writing at this rate, with my chapters growing exponentially, I'd be afraid to know how long this next chapter would be! shudders
I need you guys to tell me if I'm still doing all right, because I think I've kinda drooped as the story continues on. It's not as entertaining to me, although I've re-read it over and over and over again, and if I do one more time I think I'll be sick. XP That's why there may be a few grammar typos and whatnot – I may be picky, but I plainly don't care at this point. ;
Okay...what else...Oh, I've been juggling the idea of getting a beta-reader to lift the stress of mulling over the chapters countless times. Hey, if anyone is up to the offer, I can really put some thought into it.
Also, I was just wondering, does anyone here like to role-play? Once upon a time I had great fun acting like an idiot and I've gotten the urge to give it a try again. Sadly, all my current friends either don't play RE Outbreak, or are too serious, and I need a Kevin (and maybe some others) to RP with (I'd be David, of course!) ;D I dunno, that's really stupid to ask, but hey, summer is coming soon and I'm desperate for something to do!
Yes, speaking of summer, I get out of school June 9th. It would be safe to say that you probably won't read much from me until then. I might review some stories occasionally but definitely not as much as I wish, due to time constraint. But I will, without a doubt, read all your fabulous fics!
DO review! I only got this far because of the wonderful things y'all have said. Otherwise I wouldn't be continuing with this fic.
And dude, I finally got use to ff.net's formatting system and they change it! Arghh. XO! So expect even more typos, with italics and whatnot.
I'll shut up now. :)
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"Today might be my lucky day, Rick." David said into the gas station pay phone.
"Sure looks like it, Dave. First you get a womans number, now you're getting off of work early! It's not fair!" whined Rick, whom he had been talking to for the past two minutes, whined." Next thing you know, the boss will be giving you a raise."
David snorted. "I wish...So, that's it? No more customers?"
"Nope, at least not at the moment. Want me to throw some cherry bombs in some toilets for ya? Then you could get back to work."
"...Very funny."
Rick's smile was evident through his happy voice. "Don't you ever laugh?"
"Ha-ha...Happy now?"
"I've met super models less sarcastic than you." Rick teased.
"Yeah, but you aren't asking me out."
Rich clicked his tongue once before replying. "Yeah...Those women don't know what they're missin'."
David could have given a genuine laugh at that, but held himself back. "Right...okay, I'm off to lunch. I'll check back in while."
It didn't take long for David to return to his truck and hurry home. It took even less time for him to swing the door open and hop from his vehicle, taking a deep breath as he did so. The air there was different from the developed areas of town, he noted. It was a bit more crisp and fresh.
David resided in the less exciting, non-bustling part of Raccoon City. About 15 miles from downtown, the neighborhood lacked the luster and vibrance that came with neon lights, cramped roads, and crowds of busy people. Perhaps those were the reasons why David chose to live where he did - it gave him a place to be alone. Besides, the 45 minute commute to work wasn't that bad, and there was little gang activity. Face it, what you care most about is being alone. So, what are you waiting for, an invitation to your own home? Go inside already.
He continued to carry his tool belt in one gloved hand, deciding that he'd fuss with the buckle later. Mental note to self: threaten buckle with wrench. It worked for the water heater, didn't it? But now all that mattered was getting inside his home and out of the hot, sticky uniform. Hell, if I wasn't sober, I'd streak to my apartment.
David didn't see the need for a house, so he rented a little apartment on the 5th floor of an old brick building. After all, he lived alone, and he was a man. Yes, I'm a man and unlike a woman, I can live off the very basics. Give me a refrigerator, a shower, and a microwave, and I'll survive - walls optional.
The front door of the complex creaked as David stepped inside, escaping the hot summer sunlight and sinking into the dim interior of the building. It was cooler inside, despite the air being thick and damp within the small hallway. Still, it was better than being baked outside - at least David thought it was, until he noticed the make-shift sign taped on the elevator door.
Ahh, fuck, his mind growled, and he raised one hand to flip off the "Out of Order" written on the paper. That's the 4th time this week, meaning the 8th time I'll have to run up and down those stairs. At the least. Ugh. Better get started...
When David reached his apartment door, room 507, he was even hotter and more miserable than before. Well you didn't have to sprint up every damn step, genius. he reminded himself, pulling out his ring of keys and flipping to the proper one. Now all I need is for this to break and today will be priceless. Luckily, the key remained strong and the knob turned smoothly.
David closed the door at his back, alert eyes flickering across the living area of his apartment. Something was wrong, although he couldn't place a finger on it. But still, something was...
A flash of movement caught his attention, and David dropped the tool belt to the floor, muscles tense and ready for action, ears straining to hear past the drone of the switched on television set. Narrowed eyes worked defensively, taking note of every part of the scene.
The room was quite simple, as David kept everything in order. A small couch sat to his left - well worn and comfortable. In front of that was a small table with a stack of news papers, headlines similar to those he read at Laura's house sprawled across the front pages. One remote sat atop of them - a makeshift paperweight. The TV was pressed against the wall furthest from him, commercials flipping across the 32 inch flat screen, telling him to buy this shampoo and try that toothpaste. Despite the flashy colors and attractive actors, David's attention was focused on something else, something uncomfortable out of place - a potted plant strewn across the beige carpet.
"Hell," he murmured, stepping over a random sock lying on the floor, then stumbled on a misplaced boot. He kicked both aside before setting his tool belt on the coffee table, kneeling to retrieve the limp, abused plant. "Who could have done this?" He wondered aloud, before a sudden dread and realization filled his every nerve. David wasn't alone - someone else was there.
A distraction, he told himself, the plant was a distraction so that when I turned my back, my predator could sneak up and - Another flash of movement stole his eye and he managed to catch a glimpse of a white and black blur. The click of claws on linoleum was barely audible over the drone of the TV. Where's it coming from? what direct -
A solid, sudden weight knocked David to the floor as he shouted in surprise, raising his hands defensively as his attacker lunged over his sprawled form and pinned him with arms of steel. The element of surprise gave the enemy the upper hand, but David was strong. He fought back, forcing his palms against the heaving chest and - with a massive push - dislodged the attacker far enough away to allow David to make a move of his own.
Rolling to one side, gasping for breath, David threw himself atop the writhing assailant. It yelped, limbs straining to escape, but David held on firm not only with his arms but his teeth, biting down on an ear. Sputtering, he gagged on a mouthful of stiff hair clinging to his saliva, before releasing his mouths hold and spitting.
"You mutt, you thought you had me!" David laughed, wrestling his dog to the ground. One furry tail knocked onto the floor happily as David leaned over and began scratching its shaggy stomach.
"Didja miss me?" David asked, smiling at the panting border collie. Domino was its name, because of the black and white patter of its silky coat. The obvious display of excitement gave David his answer. "Of course you did, you silly little fur ball."
He crawled to his knees and stood as Domino jumped to his four feet and began circling his master, barking loudly. "Hey hey," he patted the dog. "Shush you mutt, we wouldn't want to get Daddy in trouble again. Remember last time?" David certainly did. "Daddy doesn't feel like getting bloody before his lunch break."
Just weeks ago, David had been introduced to his new upstairs neighbor - quite informally - and things had ended with a bang. "And that's all because you couldn't keep your muzzle shut." he told the dog, who tilted its head to the side with an expression of "Who, me?"
"Looks like knocking over the plant wasn't the only thing you did," David scowled, reaching for the torn mass that was formerly a sock. Now I know where they're disappearing to! He was afraid to even look at the mangled boot, but did so any ways, placing his hand on it. "Gah! Domino!" David cried hopelessly, pulling back a hand covered in slime. "What did I tell you about slobbering in my shoes?!"
Domino sat there, a look of humored triumph on his grinning face. Score: Domino - 2, David - 0. David knew he shouldn't have been so surprised - it had happened before. At least he hadn't been planning to wear the boot. David grimaced, struck by a vivid flashback. He had been running late for work, juggling his keys in one hand, a cup of milk in the other, and a bagel in his mouth. He remembered seeing the first available shoe and stomping his foot in it, only to douse it in sticky cold dog drool that sluiced up to his ankle. Fuckin' nasty, he recalled. Well...it's not as bad as that time I got drunk and puked in my own shoe...
The boot made a thumping sound as it was tossed in the nearest trash can, the sock following close behind. "That's the second pair this month. I swear, dog, if I have a nose fetish, then you have a foot fetish." David said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he shook his head and stared at his canine friend.
It hadn't been David's choice to get a pet. In fact, his mother had done all the thinking for him. He remembered returning home one day to find his mother seated on his couch. Apparently she had made good use of the spare key he gave her after his move to Raccoon City. He had been 22 then, just released from the police station after being arrested another countless time.
"David," she had said, as any gentle mother would. "We need to talk." She had always disapproved of him living alone "...like some sort of hermit," she put it. So, with a smile, she handed over a bouncing bundle of fur and fluff. "Maybe both of you could learn a thing or two in obedience school," his mother said with a tinge of humor, but kept a serious face. He had the dog ever since, raising it to be intelligent and...well...a little spoiled. So I keep the TV on for the dog every day; so what? It's not like I cook him dinner. Okay, maybe once or twice, but his name aint tattooed on my arm or anything.
"Speaking of food..." David murmured to himself, wandering towards the kitchen, dog following close behind. "What's for lunch?" Of course, the dog didn't know. Then again, neither did David, who rummaged through his cabinets. "Looks like I need to go grocery shopping." He shook his head at the dog who drooped his usually perky ears. "Well, at least you can still eat, you lucky dog." Kibbles n' Bits was poured into the bowl, which the dog attacked with the enthusiasm as a starving piranha.
David watched for a moment, before opening the fridge door. There's a choice of beer, beer, and...wouldn't ya know it, more beer. Oh, and a shriveled orange. He sighed. "I don't know what to choose!" Well, you could always eat what the dogs eating. The package does say 'great and meaty taste', after all.
"Pfft." He'd rather eat the orange.
David walked back to the living room, hands in pockets, and he decided that they were in dire need of being cleaned. Closing his fist, David pulled out the collection of junk that had accumulated after the past week. He dumped it out onto the table and began sorting through it. "I'm rich," he said lightly, counting 47 cents in two dimes, a quarter and two pennies. Along with that sat two lint balls, four gum wrappers, his wallet, a hair tie, and a little folded scrap of paper. He smoothed out the torn bit, frowning slightly before his memory triggered.
Seconds later, he held the telephone receiver to his ear, cradling it between his shoulder and chin as he punched in the number, or at least tried to, until he realized he still wore his clumsy leather gloves. They were quickly discarded, dropped to the floor as he dialed. Domino, always curious, picked up the glove in his mouth and held it to David who shooed him away. So, deciding to give in to his mischievous side, Domino trotted off with his suede leather prize.
"Hello?" crackled a sexy feminine voice over the ear piece.
"Have you flushed that new fish yet?"
"David," she laughed. "I was wondering when you'd call."
"I'm not that predictable, am I?"
"Eh, lets just say I know how men work. First they think about food, then women - particularly the one who gave you her phone number only a half hour ago."
"Damn."
"I know, I'm good. Let me guess, you don't have anything to eat at home and you want to go out for lunch?"
"Maybe."
"Okay, then maybe you want to pick me up in 45 minutes?"
"Maybe."
"And then maybe we can go out and get a drink and a bite to eat?"
"Maybe."
"Okay," she giggled. "I'll see you then. Bye bye, David."
Moment after hanging up, David caught himself jogging down the hallway, slowing only to hop on one foot while he wrestled the boots from his feet, which Domino, returning from wherever, perked his ears at. "Don't even think about it!" David growled, flipping on the bathroom light. He disappeared into the room for a second, before hurrying back into the hallway to snatch his boots up. Domino pouted. David stuck his tongue out before returning to the bathroom.
Taking off his work clothes was his favorite part of the day, David decided as he stepped out of the dirty fabric and dropped it to the floor. He breathed deeply, feeling five pounds lighter. Soon his plain white shirt joined the heap of clothes, as did the jeans when he managed to pull them from his long legs. Then he stood, studying himself in the mirror.
"Not bad," he said to himself. He was definitely different from the average plumber. David had a long runners physique, with broad shoulders and narrow hips. He wasn't too skinny - despite weighing roughly 203 pounds, a great part of that was muscle. Working out occasionally pays off, he thought. He pressed his hand to one of his pectoral muscles, feeling the hardness there, then trailing his hands down to his toned stomach. David wondered - with a shudder - if when he grew old he would turn out like the rest of them; obese, repulsive, with back hair and wrinkled elbows. Never, he promised himself. I'll die before that happens.
Raising his hands behind his head, David fumbled at the catch of his necklace. It dropped down his chest, being caught in one hand before it was able to fall to the floor. David looked at the pendant, heavy in one strong hand. "Who needs a masculine pendant? I am masculine, isn't it obvious? Just look at me!" He flexed, his smirk reflecting back at him. His left eyebrow quirked, as did his lip as he pulled the tie from his hair. Black strands of silk fell around his neck, tickling his shoulders. "Well...despite the hair."
David stepped up to the shower, pulling aside the curtains before his boxers dropped to the ground. Hands sought out the faucet, manipulating the knobs until the spray was strong and so hot steam rose from the spatter of water. David hissed at first, the droplets sizzling down his back and legs, but he endured the pain. He smoothed his slick daek hair back.
After fifteen minutes of scrubbing and rinsing, David emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist and his hair tied back. Domino sat where David had left him, tail beating on the floor before he stood and followed David to his bedroom. Like the rest of the apartment, David kept things simple. A queen sized bed sat in the corner - because I always sleep alone, he thought with a scowl - with a small dresser next to it. He had a tall bookshelf crammed with old novels which he constantly read, as well as a few notebooks which he kept sketches in. There was also a small table with a 20 gallon aquarium atop, home to four red-bellied piranhas swimming around in their own little ecosystem of plants and rock.
"Howdy guys," he greeted them, stopping to peer into the tank before he padded over to the closet. Domino hopped on the bed and barked once, watching as David took out a pair of black pants and a brick red sleeveless shirt. After all the years of waking up at 5 AM to rush to work (and usually running late in the process), David became the master at dressing quickly, pulling on a fresh pair of boxers before slipping on the rest of his clothes.
"How do I look?" David asked, turning to Domino. The dog gave a snort, then yawned with his ears folding back, paws stretching forward before he coiled like a stretched spring being released. Domino gave another grunt, gazing tiredly at David. "Lazy bastard," the plumber muttered, reaching for a new pair of boots which he inspected, staring questioningly at his canine friend. Satisfied that they were untouched, he buckled them on and headed for the door, snatching his leather jacket off the hook before leaving.
It had only been 30 of the 45 minutes when David pulled up to Laura's house. She, who had already been waiting at the front door, hurried to the truck with a smile on her pretty face.
"You look great," David said as a greeting, and meant it. Laura had shed herself of her motherly clothing, replacing them with a pair of snug red leather pants which hugged her every curve. Her shirt was made of a tightly knit white material that also - to David's delight - accented her form. It was short sleeved and had a low cut v-neck which framed a silver chain dangling between her breasts. On her feet she wore a sleek pair of black stilettos which exposed her silver painted toenails.
"You're not too bad yourself, David. Much better than before."
"I hope so. I wouldn't call my work outfit fashionable." She laughed, gentle voice ringing in the air.
"Where to?" he asked. "I always let the lady pick."
"Hmm..how about we go to J's Bar? You ever been there?"
"A couple times."
"I heard they have great burgers during lunch."
"They serve lunch?"
"Only until 4. We'd better hurry."
"All righty."
At 2:17, David was relieved to escape the bustling downtown traffic of Raccoon City, turning into the first available parking space three blocks from the bar. Both of them stepped from the truck, dodging the crowds of pedestrians. Laura, desperate to not get lost, hooked her arm around David's. Glossed lips turned up in a slinky smile as David jumped unexpectedly.
"Don't worry, I won't bite." She said.
"Darn," David replied.
Unlike the rest of the town, J's Bar wasn't packed with people shoulder to shoulder. Laura acted as if it was, pressing her body to David's. He flushed, wondering if it was really food she wanted, instead of him.
"Hey David." Will, the full-time bartender waved, flashing a smile at the two.
"Howdy Will."
"'A few times'?" Laura laughed, tracing one long nail up and down David's arm.
He gave a shaky smile. "I must tip well, is all."
The bar looked stunningly different with a handful of simple wooden tables scattered about the wooden floor. It was against this floor that black heels clicked as Cindy Lennox trotted towards the couple, flashing her bright pearly smile. "Just two?" Cindy asked.
"Just two," Laura confirmed, tugging David along behind her as Cindy lead them to a table. Damn this woman's agressive, David thought, as he was pulled to a seat close besides Laura, wondering if he liked that in a woman. I do...well, at least I think I do.
In moments they had ordered, Laura stating that she'd "just have the usual." David settled for a simple "I'll have what she's having," watching Cindy's blonde ponytail bounce away, heading towards the kitchenette afterwards. On her way, Cindy brushed past Will to give the chef their order. Will blushed, and David mentally chuckled. I knew it -that ol' dogs pining for her, he thought, seeing the bartender collect himself before tending to a customer hunched over a drink at the stools.
David looked at Laura who had opened a compact mirror to touch up on her lip gloss, before his eyes traveled elsewhere, searching for familiar faces. He wasn't surprised when he couldn't recognize anyone. After all, he hadn't ever visited the bar during daylight hours, and he didn't expect the usual night owls had either. But the broad back of one person did look slightly familiar...
A warm body pressed against David's side, stealing his attention to Laura who smiled coyly. "So, tell me about yourself, David."
Guh, as if she cares. He thought, absent-mindedly tightening his ponytail. "Well...I'm a plumber."
She feigned surprise. "Really? Wow."
"I'm male," he tried again, seeing her run a tongue across her lip. His attention focused on that one sexy detail, like a fish yielding to the charms of a glittering hook decoration. He was so absorbed that he jumped, cracking one knee painfully beneath the underside of the table as Laura placed a hand on his thigh.
She giggled. "Silly Dave...When was the last time you had your way with a lady?"
"Can't remember." He said, tongue slick as if it had been covered in mud.
"Aw, you poor thing. So I take it you sleep alone every night?"
"No," David answered truthfully. "My dog hogs half the bed."
Laura began to titter, tossing her hair back behind one shoulder as David noted how easy it was to make her happy. She's only laughing because she wants to bed me, he realized. Fine with him. Her hand wasn't about to begin to disagree; slowly stroking up and down his black clad thigh. The naughty touch lulled him into a trance, mind swirling like her fingers that drew small circles with her nails. Catatonic wasn't her middle name - that was for sure.
Beyond their table, a man stood up unsteadily to his feet, thankful that his voice was a little more sober than his walk as he leaned over to his stool neighbor.
"You wanna play darts?" he asked.
"Dude, you're drunk," the other pointed out.
Said drunken man gave a dorky grin. "I know, but that's the fun part! Come on!"
"Not again," Will groaned, but couldn't bite back a laugh as both men lumbered over to the hung dart board. Cindy, rounding the corner of the bar, shook her head and patted the drunk challenger on his shoulder.
"Remember to aim for the board this time, bub. Ol' Jack's going to kill us if he find any more holes in the wall."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." The man gave her a thumbs up and a smirk. "Cindy, you happen to forget that I won a bunch of marksmanship trophies in my day, and on all of them, engraved in gold, is the name Kevin Ryman. And if you look at this name tag -" Kevin pointed, finger pressing into his left nipple, and he let out a squealish laugh. "Woops, I forgot I was off duty. Anyway, if I was wearing it, it would say 'Officer Ryman'. Don't forget that," he told Cindy.
"Well, I never knew your nipple was pierced, but if I recall, the tag went here..." Cindy placed one small hand around Kevin's and shifted his finger over to his pectoral muscle. "Much better. Now move, you big lug, I have a table to serve."
David's law dropped before he regained his composure. Well shit, if it isn't Officer Ryman. Scratch that, he's off duty. So his first name is Kevin... the black-haired plumber thought, attention having been distracted from Laura as soon as he heard the mention of the man. It definitely was the same person, minus the RPD uniform he had on before. Now he wore a simple white T-shirt with faded blue jeans, which - to David's odd fascination - showed off his body quite nicely Wait - what? Quite nicely? What in the hell is that suppose to mean? So he's ripped and oh shit, Dave, turn your brain off. Stop lookin' at a man and focus on the nice package grinding into your side - not to mention that curious hand -
"Here ya go, two Jalapeno Pepperjack Cheeseburgers." Cindy chirped, returning to the table with the two plates balanced on one petite hand. "Wow, thanks you guys, now I don't have to remember which is which!" the blonde laughed, placing the dishes on the table. Laura laughed too, pulling her hand from beneath the table to her meal as Cindy walked away.
David frowned in disappointment, watching as Laura curled her tiny hands around her big juicy burger. Mouth dry, David picked up his own and took a bite, eager to ease at least one of his hungers - the other burning hot beneath his belt. Down boy, calm down. What's wrong with you, Dave? Gettin' all excited over nothin'. Focus on the burger - your burger damn't, not hers - and certainly not the way she's wrapping those big plump lips around it -
A loud crash tore everyone's attention to the furthest corner of the room where the dart board hung. Kevin stood, bent over at the waist laughing, hands slapping his knees as Will cursed and stomped over to inspect the damage.
"How in the hell did you manage to do this?" The bartender asked, picking up a small table that had been knocked over.
"Hehe, woops, I swear that wasn't there earlier. Fuckin' tables have legs, ya know? Haha, they have legs - get it? Walking tables, hahahah!" Kevin endured many stares, one being the man who refrained from slapping his hand to his forehead at the horrible joke. That man was David.
"...Shut up and go sit down Kevin." Will snapped, obviously not amused
"Aww," the 31 year old whined.
"I'm serious, you've had way too much to drink. Now sit." Will warned, arms crossed as he tapped his foot on the floor. Kevin smiled cynically.
"Psh, only 2...5 drinks. I'm so sober I could walk a straight line!" he vowed pompously.
Will was doubtful. "Okay then, Kevin, you're the cop here. I want to see you walk from this side of the room over to the door."
Kevin posed one hand under his chin as if he was pondering some great miracle. "Shouldn't I be giving the orders if I'm the cop?"
Will glared. "I'm waiting."
Kevin huffed, lumbering into position like a moody child. "Fine. Don't get your panties in a knot."
"Bet you 10 bux he can't do it." Laura said, smiling at David who glanced back at her.
"Oh come on, like I don't know the outcome already." He turned to watch the spectacle.
Kevin gave it his best - boot heel over to touch boot tip as he concentrated as hard as a tight rope walker would 50 feet above the ground. And he thought he was doing well, placing his hands on his hips proudly as he reached the door. "There, are ya happy now?"
"Funny version of a straight line." David murmured, reaching for his hamburger again.
"Well...I am surprised you managed to stay upright," Will began. "But I've seen one legged penguins waddle straighter than that. Go sit down, Kevin." He thrust one finger out towards a vacant stool next to the cash register.
The bar returned to normal, filled with the constant drone of voices, the clank of bottles, and laughter. Kevin, unlike his usually flamboyant self, pouted over to his seat. Unceremonly he dropped himself onto the leather cushion, scrabbling at the bar counter before he tipped off the stool. Cindy giggled, walking over to Kevin, placing a hand on his back as she gave him a coke full of Maraschino cherries and paper umbrellas.
"For the biggest little kid I know," she said with a smile, giggling as Kevin started to fiddle with a yellow toothpick umbrella.
"This isn't going on my tab, is it?" Kevin asked, looking worried.
"It's on the house." Cindy reassured him. He huffed out a sigh and started drinking.
On the other side of the bar, David sat listening to Laura's happy chatter.
"When I first saw you, I thought I had dialed the wrong number," Laura confessed, dipping her French fry into a pool of sauce that had escaped from her burger. "I was worried that I had gotten a disguised exotic dancer."
"Why's that?" David asked, swallowing the rest of his burger.
"I had been expecting the stereotypical plumber. You know..." She twirled her finger to coax the words from her mouth. "The type that I would rather have fix their own crack rather than the one in my pipes, if you know what I mean."
"I get that a lot. Sorry to disappoint you." He apologized, although he knew she was pleased.
"Well if that is disappointment, then I'd love to be disappointed more often," she purred dreamily. David had dreams of his own.
"Hah, me as a stripper..." he said aloud, imagining what it would be like. He saw himself walking into her yard, giving a voluptuous sway of his hips as he walked closer. Hands swift, he would tear the tie from his hair and shake the strands out, at the same time whipping his belt off so he could begin swinging it above his head like a helicopter. He'd throw the belt to the steps and tear his shirt down the middle before throwing it off in shreds. As the finale, he would bend down and grasp his suit by the knees and pull it off in one go.
Yeah, except if it was real, my belt buckle would get caught, I'd get my hair tie tangled before I tore a big chunk of hair from my scalp, and I'd trip over my pants. How sexy. David chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't think that's the line of work for me," he admitted.
"Pity..." Laura signed, reaching up to gently pull on his tied-back hair. Eyelids fluttering, David was once again reminded how much he liked his hair touched. He relaxed beneath the caress. You're an odd, odd man, Dave.
Laura pressed nudged her hips closer to his and returned her hand to his thigh. He bit back a moan as her fingertips toyed with the metal clasp of his zipper. "If tonight goes well, would you consider giving it a try?"
"Yes," David said simply, body tensing again. Laura grinned and reached for her drink, but stopped short when she realized never ordered one.
"Say Dave, do you think you could go get me something to drink? I'm having a huge craving for a bottle of Bud."
David pulled his leg from her grasp as he stood up. "Sure. Bet back in a minute."
David was mentally cursing. Damn't, I don't that dope of a policeman to see me here. He might reconsider that ticket or - worse yet - try to talk to me. What could I say to him? 'Sorry Officer, I think you're pretty good lookin', but please excuse me while I go back to my table to get groped?' Then I could get charged for indecent sexual conduct in public. Whee.
He walked up to the bar, furthest from Kevin as possible who had begun practicing tying cherry stems with his tongue. It was a pitiful sight, seeing Kevin gag, face twisting as he coughed. David felt like a deer evading a hunter. Okay, so he's a really dull hunter. I'm not here, he can't see me, I'm not here.
"Hey Dave, what'll it be?" Will asked, stepping up to the counter, polishing a glass with a white towel.
"Just a glass of Bud."
Will gave him an incredulous look, walking over to the tap to pour ice cold beer into the newly cleaned glass. "What's wrong with you - drinkin' crap like this? I thought you hated it."
"It's for the lady friend." David explained, tilting his head towards the table where Laura sat, munching on fries. "I'm more of a Jaegermeister man myself."
"Ah." The other man said, turning to see Cindy approaching with that popular bright smile on her face.
"Got a spare straw, Will? I ran out."
"Yeah, they're in my pocket. Just a second," he said, handing David the glass full of beer. But before he could finish, Cindy reached over and snatched one paper-wrapped tube, grinning triumphantly.
"Thank ya dear," she said before trotting off towards her next customer.
David looked at Will in amusement, watching the younger mans cheeks pinkening. "What?" Will snapped when he turned to David.
"You really should ask her out." The dark man suggested, setting the drink down.
"Cindy's just a friend."
David snorted. "I bet you keep a journal and write about every time she smiles."
"I do not!" Will retorted, a little louder than intended because he lowered his voice immediately afterwards. "Besides, I'm not the only one here who's pining."
"Huh?" David said, attention focused on Kevin who had stood and began to beg another man at the bar to buy him a drink. He could just hear his pleading voice, saying "Please? Just one?"
"I had no idea you swung that way." Will continued, watching David watch Kevin. "Dave, you really need to ask him out. Hell, I bet you keep a journal and write about every time he smiles."
"Can it, Will." David glared, picking up the glass of Bud. "I'm just a little weary of a cop who's an alcoholic. That's all. Put the drink on the check, will ya?" Seeing Will nod, David returned to the table. Laura smiled, patting one hand on his vacant chair.
"I missed ya," Laura said, fluttering her dark eyelashes, full lips down- turned in a pout.
David slid her the glass. "Did you? Or did you want the beer?"
Laura curled her fingers around her drink, leaving damp streaks across the condensation. She lowered her eyelids coyly and took a short sip from her drink. "I want both," she breathed. "What is it that you want, Dave?"
His stomach spoke for him. "I want ketchup. Could you pass me that bottle?"
Laura let out a small sigh and handed over the condiment, beginning to talk again. David really didn't catch a word of it after he murmured a quick "thanks" and tended to his French fries. The white cap on the Heinz bottle popped as it was removed; the sign of a fresh bottle. But where there was novelty, there was struggle.
These glass bottles should be illegal, David groaned, giving it a heartfelt, upside down shake towards his pile of fries. Unyielding, the thick sauce didn't budge.
Laura's motherly attitude returned for the occasion, treating David like she would her daughter. "I don't think that will work, Dave. Here, hand it over."
Nimble fingers pick up the knife from her hamburger plate. With practiced ease, Laura slid the knife into the bottle neck, twisting the blade until a splotch of red fell to the plate. I swear, the only reason they bring knives with the burgers is to unplug the god damn ketchup bottles, David told himself before accepting the bottle back from Laura who wore a triumphant grin. Turning the bottle upside down, David returned the smile shakily, ready to announce victory but before he can, the bottle plugged up again.
"God damn't!" he hissed, ignoring Laura's happy twittering, determined to eat his fries with ketchup even if it meant shattering the bottle. So I like ketchup, and it doesn't like me, he thought, giving the bottle one, two shakes –
-Ketchup, you shall obey! -
-and the ketchup did, letting loose half the contents of its bottle right onto David's plate, smothering the fries entirely. A few droplets managed to fly and stick to David's shirt. "Aw crap." Meanwhile, Laura was nearly toppled over in her chair. "Don't laugh at me," David glared pitifully.
"Oh, it's okay honey," Laura managed between breaths, patting his arm lightly. "Just be thankful you were already wearing red."
"True..." David considered, before setting the bottle down. All around them people had turned towards Laura's commotion, blinking like owls. That crowd included Kevin.
David shrunk into his seat, dipping his fingers into the pool of tomato and vinegar in search of his hiding French fries, acting as if nothing happened. Laura, too, returned to her meal and took a generous gulp of her Budweiser, waiting for backs to turn around in their seats.
David swallowed a fry. "So...that's was...fun."
"Yeah, good goin', dork." Laura replied, raising a hand to catch a ketchup drop off his shirt fabric. It resembled a small prickle of blood on her pale finger tip, which disappeared between her equally red lips. David shivered involuntarily.
"I can't help it if I'm special," the plumber retorted, wiping his own fingers on his napkin. That's when he heard footsteps approaching from behind. The hair rose on the back of his neck, feeling the heat of a warm body directly behind him. Oh no, it can't be...!
"Is everything all right?" a voice asked, and David relaxed his mental cringe. He looked over one shoulder to see the bright smile and blonde hair of Cindy Lennox, who had decided to check on her customers like the dedicated waitress she was.
"Everything's fine." Laura chirped.
Cindy smirked at David. "That's good. I see you had a little trouble with your ketchup, sir."
"..."
"Would you like me to help you clean up?" Cindy asked.
"I'm fine," he answered, reaching for a clean napkin as Cindy pranced off.
Laura gave him a look. "Geez Dave, a little overly independent, are we?"
"It's not a bad thing," he said. "I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself." Little did she know how true that was, considering the abundance of messes David had unwound himself from in the past. No one will ever need to know... David repeated silently for what felt like the millionth time, as if he was still trying to convince himself. Don't depress yourself Dave, now is not the time. You've got a fine piece of lady dished out in front of you...It's time to make your move.
Fondly, David looked Laura over, reminding himself of every perfect detail – those full, feminine lips, her high arched plucked brows, the gentle sweep of her eyelashes as she blinked. And her nose...her nose with its gentle dip before the tip perked up. Such a nice nose...
Wait, something was awkward. David concentrated on her eyes again, which weren't focused on him, but on something, and that something was distracting her attention past his shoulder.
"Speaking of big boys...Dave, do you know anyone else here?" she asked.
"No," he answered, "Not besides Will. Why?"
"You've got a hunk giving you quite the look-down from the bar." Laura said, a delighted quirk touching her lips.
David inwardly cringed, but played it cool. "Oh...is that so?" he asked, beginning to turn his head to glance at his spy.
Laura's words were like a punch to the gut, immobilizing him with shock. "You don't have to turn around Dave, he's on his way over as we speak.
No nonono don't let him recognize me. Maybe he's just going to the bathroom – he had a lot to drink right? Right? Officer Ryman, you have a call on hold from nature on line one...
It was quite obvious that the muted thumps of rubber-soled boots were coming straight towards them. David did the only thing could do - besides run out the front door, that is - and continued to sit as if he didn't notice the approaching officer. The footsteps stopped, Laura raising one lean hand to give a welcoming wave. What David expected to hear was a stern voice, hard and unrelenting. What he heard caused him to drop his french fry into his puddle of condiments with a plop.
"Hello there, ladies! You gals come here often?"
Laura blinked and then burst out in hysterics again, watching David's expression turn from neutral to a mortified humiliation. "Excuse me?" he snapped.
Kevin was unfazed, neither bothing to notice that David was male or that he was still drunk. "Hey, calm down beautiful, no need to get hostile! I just saw you two lovely things sitting over here all by your lonesome selves and I thought you needed some male attention. Care if I sit?"
-Why I oughta -
"Care to buy us ladies a drink?" Laura interupted, scooting aside as Kevin pulled a chair up to the table. Apparently if there was free alcohol involved, Laura was willing to play along with the drunk, to Davids great dismay.
"Absolutely!"
A minute later Kevin was at the bar, asking for a bottle of peach Schnapps, adding, "It's not for me" with a gesture towards Laura and David. Will put down the bottle frowning sourly at the cop. Kevin, being obliviously unaware started back for the table.
"Who is this guy?" Laura asks, smiling as David pinched the bridge of his nose in a vain attempt to relieve his growing headache. He simply shrugged. "He thinks you're a woman!"
"He's completely plastered." David pointed out, watching Kevin as he tripped over his own clumbsy foot whilst turning from the bar.
Kevin returned with the bottle of Schnapps and three clean glasses - only two of which Will gave to him. The other he had snatched from a couples table while they flirted obsessively with one another. Mouth up-turned ear to ear with his armful of clanking glasses, Kevin approached the table.
"If you want it on the rocks, then you'll have to bug Will yourselves," Kevin began to say, setting the drinks down one after the other. He lowered his voice to a conspicuous whisper. "But I wouldn't try it, 'cause I think he's got a badger up his bum."
Laura began to giggle again, as Kevin pulled back his chair, but the happy sound turned to aghastment as Kevin lost his footing and -
Crash!
"Watch it!" Will yelled from his place at the bar as Kevin tripped, his dead weight slamming into the table and nearly knocking it from its legs. Laura shrieked as the drinks went flying, sluicing her shirt in a cold splash of Schnapps. David, on the other hand, narrowly avoided the splatter of ketchup as the bottle near him toppled over. The plumber jumped to his feet, hands gripping Kevin's wide shoulders until his knuckles turned white with the strength it took to stabilize the man. David could feel the hardened coil of muscles beneath his grasp before he let go in a shudder of disgust. What the hell am I thinking? Stupid stupid hormones. Fuck, what I have is worse; might as well call them whoremoans.
"Stop moving, hold still!" David snapped at Kevin, watching the cop begin to lurch forward with a drunken laugh. Reacting on the instant, David wound his arms around the policeman's waist in a desperate attempt to save both he and the man from collapsing to the wooden floor. Even with David's heavier mass - 203 lbs against 197 - he had to muster all his strength to harness the dead weight of the other man.
Kevin's head continued to spin as he leaned his body into David's in a pathetic attempt to stay on his feet. Hands desperately grasped for whatever hold they could and found their grip in all the wrong places.
"H-hey, watch the hands!" David yelped as he felt the strong, wide palms of the officer grab his ass. He immediately turned red and vainly considered pushing the other man away to find other help. But said other help was on their way in the form of Cindy Lennox, who jumped forth at the outburst with a worried expression pinching her delicate face. Always ready to help but unsure of how, Cindy stopped when she took in the scene. She flushed at David's wide-eyed expression as Kevin grinned incoherently.
"Kevin!" She blurted. "Stop molesting the customers!"
If they hadn't been staring before, then the entire bar sure as hell was after that. Everyone but Laura, who was near to tears of laughter, was slack-jawed. David grit his teeth irritably and pried Kevin's hands from digging into his rear. Whether this was done to relieve his embarrassed social or physical discomfort was unknown to David, as was his bodies reaction to the whole situation. It seemed like no matter how much he told himself that he didn't like being groped by a man, that he didn't like men, his body continued to betray him.
"Nothing to see here!" Kevin said, shooing at the many faces pointed in his direction, stumbling slightly in the process . "I'm a cop, I can handle this, now return to your business!"
Cindy walked over to Kevin, offering a hand to support the 31 year old. "Come on, let's go set you down somewhere while Will calls for a cab, okay?"
Does she think she can help him alone, bein' that small? You've got to be kidding me! the plumber thought before stepping up along side Kevin, offering a steady shoulder to lean on. Kevin looked surprised - hell, David was surprised, as well. Mentally he sighed. I'm getting too soft. Cindy looked at David's gesture thankfully. "Come on, I'll help. But no groping this time."
"Yeah," Kevin grinned sheepishly. "Sorry about that."
The threesome made their way back to the table without incident, Kevin having one arm slung around David's shoulders, with Cindy standing on his other side. Kevin was able to regain some decent motor skills, dropping himself into the first available chair. He thanked David, who grunted in acknowledgment, leaving to pay the check, and Cindy who patted Kevin on the head with a giggle.
"Just sit still and wait. We'll getcha home so you can sleep the rest of the day, until you go on duty tonight."
Kevin groaned, stroking his temples. "God damn't, I completely forgot. Thank ya Cindy, I think I'll take your advice."
Meanwhile, David had returned to Laura who walked outside with him wearing friendly smile. "Sorry about that."
"Oh, it's okay Dave," she tittered. "It's not every day you get to see two guys bumping and grinding in a straight bar."
David frowned. "Very funny."
Laura smiled, leaning over to David with a wink. "No, really, I think it's great that your comfortable with your sexuality! Women really admire men who aren't afraid to be themselves, and stand up for being gay."
Blinking, it took a moment for the words to sink in. David gawked. "What?"
"You're homosexual, aren't you?" Laura asked, raising her eyebrows.
"No!" David blurted in response.
Laura smiled. "That's right, you like me don't you? Bisexual, then – are you bisexual?"
"Yes, I like you. No, I'm not gay!"
Laura laid a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "It's okay to be in denial, Dave."
"I'm not in denial!"
"I saw the way you looked at Kevin and, well, how you reacted to his touch."
David snorted. "In horror, right?"
An impish grin curled Laura's lips. "If you say so."
"I do."
She tsked. "Poor, poor Dave. Look, if it makes you feel any better about yourself, you should know that I'm bi too."
"Good for you." David shuffled his boots, becoming uncomfortable with the conversation. "Can we change the subject?"
Laura sighed. "You really need to talk about this – get it off your chest."
"Not during a date."
"Well, if you won't talk to me, then find someone else," she said, watching another couple approach from the street and enter the bar.
"Like who?"
She smirked coyly. "Heck, I don't know. Your dog?" her eyes flashed with hunger. "Kevin?"
David sighed. "Nnngh"
"You could go in right now, if you'd like. But I'd better get going," she glanced at her watch. "Marie's babysitter will be charging double soon."
The dark-haired plumber shook his head. "I'll pass. You need a ride?"
"Nah, I figured I'd call my boyfriend and have him pick me up."
David caught his jaw from dropping. That whore.
Laura shrugged as if she wasn't surprised at David's reaction. "You can never have too many...but you know, you could join us if you'd like. Greg is bisexual too, and I bet he'd love your hair..."
---
TBC!