Disclaimer: Vision of Escaflowne and its characters and likeliness is copyrighted to its respective company(ies). But the characters I created and this story is copyrighted to me.
Rating: PG-13
FATES' JUDGEMENT
By Cosmos
Chapter 14: Tears of Infinity
What does it mean to have wings of night? Feathers of soft white turned dark and sinister.
Van glanced back at his ebony wings in disbelief. Strong emotions of fear and despondency surged through his torn heart. He frowned in order to fight back the tears threatening to escape; tears born of the injustice the Fates had dealt against him. Looking back up at the dark individual still watching him from above the broken ground, Van spoke aloud in despair: "I cannot escape…"
Hitomi was stirred awake by the soft murmur of a beloved voice. She turned to look at Van's pale face sadly. Hitomi watched with increasing anxiety and sorrow the tears that slipped down from between his closed lids. His lips were moving but she could barely make out the softly spoken words. Curious, she placed her ear near his lips and listened in trepidation.
"I cannot escape," was the one phrase Van kept whispering over and over. "I cannot escape."
Hitomi jerked her face away from him and looked at his pale features. Van had been slumbering for over five days. His eyes would move rapidly beneath his lids and he would murmur inaudible words but he would not awaken. And with these words, Hitomi feared he would never wake up. The poison was gone, but Van still remained trapped within a nightmare that continued to haunt him.
"Van," Hitomi cried softly. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek while her mournful eyes gazed upon him in grief. Unable to withhold the sorrow that swelled through her heart, Hitomi wrapped her arms around him and buried her face within the crook of his neck. There she sobbed uncontrollably, all the while calling out his name and beckoning him to return to her.
As his heart grew cold with desolation, a single beam of light broke through the darkness of his nightmare and bathed him in warmth. He looked up in surprise. The soft crying of a young maiden perforated through the hopelessness and the fear to comfort him. She called out his name with such a sad voice.
"Van," she cried, "please come back to me."
He did not immediately recognize the voice. The names and faces of those in the waking world were hazy and distorted in Van's fevered mind. However, the pulsating beat of recognition stemmed from his emotions did not remain hindered by the darkness for long. At length, he became enlightened with precious memories. Can it be? he thought in astonishment.
"Van," the angelic voice pleaded again, "you must return. I need you…I need you here."
Hitomi?
The maiden spoke no more but continued her heartbreaking sob. She is crying again, he thought in anguish. Crying for me.
Van ached to stop her tears. His heart distended with an indescribable emotion that knew no bound. The dark feelings which once resided within his soul immediately vanished. Struggling hard, he flapped his ebony wings toward the source of her voice and the light. Reaching out with one desperate hand, Van blindly grabbed hold of hope.
She gasped when she felt his hand engulfed hers. Looking down, Hitomi saw her delicate fingers protrude from within his gentle hold. Glancing back upon his face, she took in a sharp breath on seeing his steady crimson gaze beneath beautiful dark lashes.
"Van," she whispered affectionately, and with much relief, "you've come back to me."
He made no response but he need not do so. The look in his eyes, the gentle grip of his hand, told her all that was needed to be said. Exhaustively, Van closed his eyes again. This time he fell into a wonderful slumber, filled with her voice and her presence.
The heavenly songs of forest birds awoke him early next day. A curtain of blinding white light met his eyes as he slowly opened them to the dawn. Squinting to adjust his vision, Van's expression softened upon sight of the angel whose voice he heard in his dream last night. Hitomi was slumbering peacefully at his bedside with her head laid near his pillow. Was it true? Did he really hear Hitomi call out to him? The words she spoke quickly returned to the surface of his mind. His heart raced at the possibility such words implied but his logical mind questioned the odds of this hope. He frowned with uncertainty. Did she really say those words? And did she mean them?
A soft murmur escaped from between her lush lips. He returned his attention to her again. She stayed with me all this time? He tried to raise a hand to brush aside the straggling strands of hair but found that something was holding it back. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw her dainty hand hiding within his own. His gaze immediately softened and a warm affectionate expression lit up his handsome face.
Hitomi, he thought you have not the faintest idea of the power you have over me. Just your one hand prevents me from moving. He let out a sad sigh. Turning his gaze toward the opened window across the room, he continued to think. Despite how I feel, I can never let you know. Tears appeared within the depths of his garnet eyes. I know what shall happen, and I now know what I must do. The vivid images of his dreams surfaced to his mind. And so I can never let you know…never let you see…what is in my heart. So that in the end, there will be no lingering memory of me to give you grief.
But for now, his grip on her tightened, I will enjoy each and every moment I have with you. And love you while I can.
It was Van's intention to remain in bed until Hitomi woke up, but as fate would have it he caught sight of an individual passing by the window that forced him to reconsider. The features of his childhood rival appeared distinctly through the clear glass opening, causing Van to gasp in surprise.
"It can't be," he whispered in disbelief. "What is he doing here?"
As gently as he could, Van removed himself from bed. Turning around, he carefully lifted Hitomi and tucked her in his place beneath the warm covers. Once he was satisfied that she was comfortably settled in, he headed toward the door with every intention of finding the young man he glimpsed briefly seconds before.
It was not difficult to track this individual down. Perhaps it was purposeful that the man had led him to a small clearing at the edge of the forest, away from the main site. Van stepped into the opening. Beams of golden light fell at an angle across the small grassy area, divided unevenly by the decaying body of a fallen tree. The passing of two turns had dressed the rotting carcass in light-green moss and blooming vines. The rustling leaves played with the light that danced on his solemn face. He looked warily around. The other man was nowhere in sight; yet Van could sense he was near. He placed a hand upon the hilt of his sword while his muscles tensed for action. His eyes constantly scanned the empty surroundings, knowing full well the calm scenery was being rather deceptive; the other individual was here and waiting.
Unexpectedly, Van heard soft rustling to his left along with the subtle sound of wind. He quickly spun around while simultaneously pulling out his sword. He raised it to block an incoming blade just in time. He glared irritatingly at the sky blue eyes laughing at him.
"Very nice," the other man commented pompously.
Van growled in annoyance. "What the hell are you doing here Allen?"
"What do you mean?" he asked in faux ignorance. "I have every right to be here...in Etheria."
Van's eyes widened in confusion, and fear. "Etheria?" he asked hesitantly.
"Yes, Van," Allen said in a more somber voice, while re-sheathing his sword.
Van took an astonished step back. "It can't be," he stammered, "I can't be."
Giving the younger man a sad look, Allen said, "You are."
"But how? Why?"
"You were poisoned by The Hunter," Allen explained. "Bringing you here was the only way to save you."
After a short silence, Van said gravely, "Then I should thank you…for saving my life."
Allen smirked, "It is not to me whom you should show gratitude but Hitomi."
Van looked at Allen in befuddlement.
His companion explained, "Hitomi risked her life to gain us entrance into the Illusion Forest, then she risked her life again to bring you to the center of Illian Lake." He watched as the younger man's eyes widened in astonishment before continuing with a nod, "It was her own decision."
"Did she know--?"
"Oh, she knew the risks. I warned her…but she kept steadfast to her choice." Allen looked at the younger man with serious eyes, "She stayed with you every moment until you've awakened, Van. You owe that girl more than you could ever repay."
Van remained silent. The older man observed him intently but his companion's austere expression could not be discerned. At length, he asked Allen, "How did you know I was poisoned?"
"Because I was there."
Van's eyes instantly narrowed suspiciously; "How could you have been there? I was in the mortal world."
"And so was I," Allen responded in a serious tone. "As a favour to a certain individual, whom I cannot name, I travelled to that inferior realm looking for you and the one other. It appeared that I came just in time."
"For what purpose did this unnamed individual sent you for?" Van re-sheathed his sword and folded his arms across his chest while glaring at the other man through fierce burgundy eyes. "No one but my mother knew of my departure for the mortal realm."
"Apparently, she was not the only one," Allen remarked with a dark frown. Van was about to ask further about this mysterious circumstance but the other man was a thought ahead of him.
"If you wonder how this person knew, then you're not alone. I, too, wonder." Allen turned his gaze to the beautiful silver leaves weaving gently in the unseen arms of the wind. Watching the younger man from the corners of his eyes, he continued, "But I do know that the intention is well-meant." Giving an exhausted sigh, he said, "I have seen The Hunter." Turning to his companion, he commented, "and they are strong. Van, you will not be able to fight alone."
"If you were sent here to shadow me, then you have wasted your time," Van stated curtly. "I don't need any help, especially from you."
Allen was becoming irritated by Van's obstinate and foolish attitude. "Do you think you can protect her alone, Van?"
Van glowered at Allen while responding through clenched teeth: "I have protected her since the beginning, and I will continue to protect her. I trust no one to safeguard her security but myself. Do you understand?"
"What I understand," Allen said calmly, "is that you have lost sight of your mission."
The emotions of surprise and rage flashed quickly through Van's garnet pupils. "So is this why you're sent here? To chastise me about my actions?"
"I am sent here to protect the Chosen."
"Infinity is under my protection!" Van snapped. "It is my mother's wish."
"Do not worry," Allen responded coolly. "She is no concern of mine."
Van's expression immediately showed confusion.
Walking away, Allen said over his shoulder, "It is Judgement I was sent to protect."
"Judgement?"
Van was left alone in the small clearing to ponder on the puzzling statement Allen made. Judgement? he thought bewilderingly. What does he mean? Could he know something more about the trial that I do not? But how could that be? I am the son of the trial's creator. If there was something else to the trial then Mother would certainly have told me. Wouldn't she? Van frowned pensively. Or could there be something more that even she does not know?
Van remained brooding over his thoughts alone in the woods, and this was how Hitomi found him. He did not notice her presence at first as she stood slightly off to the side observing his sad and weary face. The invisible hands of the fair wind played with his silky locks of hair, waving it tauntingly in front of his stern, garnet eyes.
Van would not have sensed her presence had the winds not picked up, had she not lifted a hand to push back a rogue strand of hair, or had his crimson shirt not fluttered gently in her frail grip. However, he did become aware of her. What expression was on his face at the time he did not realize but the sad look on hers he would always remember.
Her beautiful emerald eyes watched him silently with a yearning he failed to see. A doleful curtain hid the bright light burning within the depths of her soul but it could not hide the warmth he sensed so clearly radiating from her heart. The mysterious connection between them, which Van had already determined but had still eluded Hitomi's knowledge, allowed him to perceive confusing emotions weighing heavily on her innocent heart. He frowned slightly, unable to fully comprehend the feelings he could detect from her. But one thing was for certain, Hitomi was unhappy. Why?
He began to approach her with his hands tensed by his side. He stopped only an arm's length away from her. Neither spoke. The silence that enveloped them acted like a cushion to ease the storm of uncertainty that raged within both hearts, up-heaving dusts of ambivalence and sorrow.
There were so many things they wanted to say to each other at that precise moment but fear stole their voices. One was afraid of rejection while the other of regret. To love but not be loved. To love with a curse. Those thoughts were barriers that prevented them from realizing the force that threatened the darkness and would bring about much joy.
At length, Van spoke first: "Hitomi," he said softly, "I…I thank you."
She looked up into his eyes in surprise. "For what?" she whispered.
He could not look into her eyes without finding himself completely lost within them. Their seduction was too great for his self-perseverance. He looked away before answering, "For staying by my side…all this time."
Tears glistened in her eyes, but he did not see. I want to stay with you for all eternity, she wanted to tell him but the words would not come out. Instead, she said, "You saved my life many times; it is the least I could do."
He turned to look at Hitomi, only to observe the lovely long lashes that hid the sorrow in her eyes. Looking down at the earth in order to avoid his mesmerizing gaze, Hitomi spoke in a fragile voice, "I have mended your shirt." She held out the clothing to him, but all he noticed was her mournful face hidden beneath sandy locks of hair. "The fabrics I used to fill in the holes are not as nice as the original, but they were all I could find."
He took hold of the shirt, intentionally enveloping her hand in his. He noticed the shocked look upon her face but Van did not let go. Those enchanting emerald pupils focused intently on his hand holding hers affectionately. Immediately, Van sensed confusion within her. A strange aching pain pulsated in the depth of Hitomi's soul stemmed from an unfulfilled desire hindered by doubt and fear.
This pain he perceived in her immediately awakened him to earlier thoughts. Instantly, he withdrew. Turning away with his shirt in his hands, Van said, "Thank you, Hitomi. You've done a magnificent job."
However, his compliment did little to ease the sudden loneliness she felt upon losing his touch. Looking longingly at his back, she whispered in a strained voice, "Your very welcome, Van. It was…it was nothing." Slowly, her hand reached up toward him as if to capture him before he escaped her completely. However, midway, she retreated it back to her side. "I'm glad you're back, Van." Hesitantly, she added before she departed: "I missed you." And she was gone.
He spun around only to watch her slowly fade from his view, captured by the distance and the shadows of this ancient forest. He kept his gaze on her until she finally disappeared around a bend. His carefully maintained expression suddenly deteriorated and an overwhelming sense of sorrow masked his handsome features.
Within a room occupied by solitude and silence, slumbered a familiar form. The darkness hid half her features while the rest were unveiled by the sympathetic moon casting its light through the opened balcony doors. The translucent silk curtains remained still and undisturbed even by the night wind playing just outside. This place appeared to be caught in time, not by magic, but by fading memories of a past rapidly departing. The night had now become her solace before the devastation of dawn. The moon was her clock. Each time the celestial body shifted across the dark sky, it tolled out the remaining hours she had left to hang onto her beloved son before another part of him disappear from her mind. Without the memories as its tourniquet, her heart bled uncontrolled.
This night, however, was different from the others. Her sleep was more unrestful than before. The darkness could witness her slender form toss and turn constantly without finding the peace it yearned for. A familiar, yet unrecognizable, presence had appeared on Etheria, once again. She frowned in her sleep. She knew this aura. It once had a name and face. But now, this form was nothing more than a faint image quickly fading away.
There were only two hours remaining before the first beam of light pierced the dark horizon, at which time the memory would become fainter still.
Solemn garnet eyes slowly awoke to the piercing arrows of early dawn. He silently watched the naïve day peep slowly over the line that divided heaven and earth. A kaleidoscope of sunlight weaved across his face, broken here-and-there by the dancing silver leaves of an ancient, massive tree under which he slept.
Since there was only one hut and one bed within that protected region at the shores of Illian Lake, the men honourably left it for Hitomi; thus, each man took a comfortable section on the green carpet to spend the night outside. Van decided to claim the base of a large tree near the clearing he and Allen had met yesterday morning. It was a satisfied distance away from the others; yet still within sight of the wooden house in which Hitomi slept.
Van lay there undisturbed with his head cradled in his arms. The warm morning breeze brushed against his crimson shirt and caressed his cheeks. His loyal sword rested by his side; its golden hilt not far from his hand's reach. Around him, the forest remained dormant. Its children slept without a sound. The silence hummed quietly around them, lulling them into an untroubled slumber; a great contrast to the solitary soul lying in wakefulness, caught deep in contemplation.
He closed his eyes and conjured up the image he was blessed with the morning before, the vision of his angel sleeping peacefully by his bedside. As he remembered, he yearned; and as he yearned, he grieved. Opening his eyes again, Van looked up at the silver canopy with such a mournful expression that caused the Fates to shed tears while they watched him. It was their decision to place this destiny on his soul. It was their decision that cursed him.
Unexpectedly, Allen's words returned to his mind: "You have lost sight of your mission."
His expression remained unchanged, but his thoughts had taken a different direction. Doubt began to seep into his mind, and the emotions in his heart only fed it even more. Why was he here? What was he fighting for? What was it that he fought for now? And was it worth all this pain and desolation?
"Hitomi," her name escaped his lips.
She had been and was the reason for his existence, as he was for her. He now understood. His dreams had told him that. However, he knew that he would lead her to her death in the end. It was for this purpose his mother had sent him. His mission was to guard her in order to sacrifice her for destiny. And now, the dreams that haunted him and the voices that constantly disturbed his nights revealed the same conclusion. His hands would not escape being tainted with her blood.
He was meant to. He was destined to. He was fated for. But he loved. The heart could not be predicted, even an Etherian's.
His breathing began to quicken while his heart raced against the tides of emotions surging upon its shore. He had once decided, at a time that now seemed so long ago, to choose duty over love. He was once compelled to follow reason and not instinct. However, he now found himself lying beneath this old tree listening to his heart, against logic and obligation.
When he had acknowledged his love for her, he had in turn chosen the difficult path. It was a decision and a course that went against fate, and all that was predetermined. But he did not know this. Hence, the outcome of their fates remained shrouded in darkness. It could be that this was his real fate, or it could be this was the fate he had truly decided for himself. Only the final sunset would reveal clearly the truth of his destiny. Even the Fates would have to wait and see. Gyra Illian was correct when she predicted that the outcome of the tenth Succession was unforeseeable.
Van grabbed his sword and stood up. Looking directly into the rising dawn, he thought determinedly, I will protect Hitomi and make certain that she survives. The image of black wings flashed across his vision. He blinked in astonishment but remained steadfast to his decision. I have now found my true mission. And I will stop at nothing to fulfill it, even if fate must be changed.
Van unsheathed his sword and looked at the blade absentmindedly. Its beautifully sinister face glistened in his dark crimson eyes. Mother, he thought painfully, forgive me. He tightened his grip and swiped the weapon across the air in one smooth motion. From a distance, his companion woke up to the haunting sound of Van's blade dancing with the early morning wind. The sharp whistling echoed throughout the silent forest.
It was not to enhance his skill that he unsheathed his sword, nor was it to focus his determination on what laid ahead. Unlike other times when this blade was awakened, Van now practiced in order to forget. Focusing solely on the technique and the sheer thrill of the exercise, he struggled to free his mind and soul of the purpose for which the blade was created; that was to fight battles and to kill.
Indeed he was one of the two best fighters in all of Etheria but unlike the other, Van held great antipathy to his skill. He neither enjoyed the bloodshed nor relished the empty victories such things brought. He fought out of duty and without choice. But as he whirled around in the shaded clearing with the metallic blade drawing silver lines around him, Van thought with some comfort that this skill—once held little meaning to him and filled him with such emptiness—now had a purpose, one that did not deride his honour and his heart. It was at this moment that Van had learned the most valuable lesson in swordsmanship: the sword is meant to protect and defend the truth. And to him, Hitomi was his true destiny.
Believing that he was alone, Van had decided to use the early morning hours to practice. But he was mistaken. A pair of emerald eyes watched his movement with affection and sorrow. Half hidden by the shades of a large trunk, Hitomi observed the man she loved silently. His beautiful fluid dance was almost perfect in her eyes, marred only by the eerie sense of forlornness and despair. As she watched him, she realized from the austere expression on his face and the determined stance that he was fighting a lonely battle against a foe he could never defeat. Yet, he would continue to fight until his body and his life gave way. What she did not perceive, however, was the reason why he chose to fight so hard.
She observed the sweat soaked ebony bangs cling to his forehead as perspiration dripped down the corners of his sullen, garnet eyes. The muscles in his arms glistened and rippled magnificently in the early golden rays. His movements were swift and fluid. Manuevering the blade expertly in one hand, Van quickly spun around to slice the empty air behind him. Ducking away from an imaginary blow, he brought his sword around defensively in front of him. He raised a hand to block the incoming punch of his invisible sparring partner before thrusting his sword at his opponent's midsection. Van took a few quick steps back as if to dodge an attack before leaping easily into the air with a back flip. Upon touching the ground, he promptly charged forcefully, surely toward his foe. Just before he reached the enemy, Van surreptitiously sidestepped to the right and swiftly brought his sword up and through the air, an action that would have relieved his opponent's noggin had he been flesh and blood.
Seeing him so close, and yet so far, brought such aching sorrow to her heart that she could withstand it no longer. As Van continued to parley with his invisible opponent, Hitomi decided it was time to leave. Hearing a subtle rustling behind him, Van immediately spun around but no one was there. Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, he decided it must have been the wind. He returned to his training.
The early morning sun followed Hitomi's solitary figure through a narrow path along the far shore of Illian Lake. Having fallen into reverie, she failed to notice the unnatural beauty of this trail. Fragile, silver leaves—the shapes of long, slender kayaks—hung on thin sapphire coloured vines created a dazzling curtain on both sides of the dirt path. The glittering face of the lake's surface flickered through the weaving drapery of silver and azure.
Her desultory stroll soon led her to a hidden chamber of magnificent granite opening to a wall of crystalline water. The soothing sounds of the small fall quickly caught her attention. She looked up from her despondent gaze at her feet to be submerged into a world only the imagination could have created. The grey, ragged granite faces were interlaced with breathtaking swirls of magnificent gems unlike any she had ever beheld. The numerous faces of these natural stones reflected the few rays of sunlight that managed to enter this shaded area, causing interplay of light and shadow that astounded its admirer. Had she not known where she was, Hitomi would have thought she was standing in heaven among the thousands of glittering stars. The teasing wind floated in from behind her carrying in fresh air from the grand lake and ruffling her short hair playfully. Turning around to face the tranquil water, she allowed her face to bathe in the sprinkle of minute droplets of water from the fall. Hitomi closed her eyes and smiled. The microscopic droplets collected at the corner of her eye, and slowly formed into a large one. Heavy under its own weight, the water droplet rolled gently down her cheek. Hitomi did not notice.
A long, solitary shadow fell across a smooth marble floor as an individual stepped before the mid-morning sun cascading through an open doorway, which led onto a lavishly decorated terrace. The figure stood hesitantly at the entrance; her body language conveyed her cacophonous desire to enter the sunlight. Gazing despondently out through the entryway, her crimson eyes took in the dying beauty of her magnificent kingdom. For some strange reason, she felt there was something missing that was once present here in Laurith. Something she dearly treasured; something she ardently loved. But she could not remember. A faint picture of a handsome young man, with piercing garnet eyes—so much like her own—half hidden by ebony hair appeared in her mind. A flicker was all that passed. However, it was enough to awaken so many painful emotions that, without the memories, were incomprehensible. The greatest pain was to know that something was lost but not know what it was. And this was what she had felt for the past month.
Shaking her head dejectedly, she decided to enter the light. However, just before she stepped onto the terrace, a concerned voice spoke up from behind her.
"You seem troubled, my sister," Gaia asked gently.
For a moment, the other woman did not reply but she halted her movement. She remained at the doorway, still contemplating on the bewildering emotions she felt deep inside. Slowly, she spoke without looking at her sister.
"I…have not been feeling well, lately."
"Are you ill?"
She shook her head. "No…I feel just fine except—." She paused for a moment before continuing in the same uncertain voice: "…except, I feel as if I have lost something."
Gaia's expression became grave and sad. Her sister did not see. Instead, she continued wistfully, "I have noticed…how much emptier I feel…with each passing day. It was as if the light of dawn…stole a little part of me each morning before I wake." Shaking her head sullenly, she gave a small, dry laugh. "I'm sure this sounds completely absurd to you, Gaia. But surely, I can't be losing my mind."
"Varie."
But her sister had fallen back into that sad, contemplative mood once more. Her voice conveyed just as much when she spoke again. "But this feeling, this pain pulsing in my heart…it cannot be my imagination. There is something missing, Gaia," the despair heightened in her tone, "I feel it wherever I go. In every crook and cranny of this palace. All of Laurith seemed to wail in mourning at what once was but lives here no more."
Gaia noticed, with much concern, the tears that slowly slipped down her sister's beautiful pale face. As Varie spoke, the image of that unrecognizable young man appeared in her mind once again. And again, it was just an ephemeral memory.
"I keep seeing," Varie spoke in a misty voice, "a face…of a young man, whose features are so familiar; yet, I cannot put my finger on the place or time I have met him before. His name escapes me but I sense that I once knew him. He…his presence…his aura feels so precious…that I…I believe…he was someone I held dear…once. But," she cupped her face in her hands as misery overwhelmed her, "but I can't…I just cannot remember who he is."
Gaia quickly approached her sister and embraced her comfortingly. However, Varie soon regained her composure. She took a step back and looked directly into Gaia's eyes. In a voice that portrayed both fear and longing, Varie asked her younger sister a single questioned that was completely unexpected.
"Tell me Gaia," she asked sadly, bewilderingly, "had I…had I a son?"
Gaia was profoundly taken aback by the unexpected question, and revelation. She, however, chose to remain silent.
Allen finally located the enigmatic young man resting alone, not to his surprise, atop the battered trunk of the fallen tree. His impassive gaze was indiscernible, but his sullen posture conveyed enough for Allen to comprehend Van's current mood and state of mind. Nevertheless, he decided to approach. It was necessary that he spoke with Van.
"Spending some quality time alone, are we?" Allen asked rhetorically.
His light sarcasm was met with a piercing side-glance. Allen ignored it.
"Are you well enough to travel?"
"What do you think?"
"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Allen sighed exhaustively. "Then we must discuss plans on escaping this forest."
"That's easy enough."
"For you and I, yes, but surely you haven't forgotten about those wingless mortal companions of yours."
Van sighed inaudibly before jumping down from his perch. Standing regally before Allen, he spoke in a flat tone, "The only time we can escape is when the dawn lights up the path through the forest. The light is the barrier that will protect us, but when the rays of light are gone," Van's face shadowed, "they will attack. As you and the others have already found out."
"Then we must leave upon the first hint of light."
"Exactly."
"Van," Allen asked, "how did you know of this?"
"My mother once told me," the younger man responded in a sadder tone.
"Ah, yes," his companion said recollectively, "she is a direct descendent of Gyra Illian…as are you."
Van simply nodded.
"Well," Allen said as he turned to leave, "then we leave at dawn tomorrow, upon the very first indication of light."
"Allen," Van called him back in a stern told. The blonde knight turned around.
"Tell me who this Judgement is."
Van noticed a dark shadow fell across his companion's face. At length, the older man replied, "In due time, Van."
"No!" the persistent young man exclaimed, "I demand to know this person's identity and how this all connects in with the Trial."
Allen confronted Van's fiery gaze with cool sky blue eyes. "Judgement," he spoke somberly but seriously, "is the deciding factor to the conclusion of the Trial."
"But I," Van said, dumbfounded, "I thought the Judge was the key element."
Allen smirked sadly. "Fate has evidently fooled us all."
Van scowled.
His friend continued, "The Judge is only a mediator, the catalyst of Judgement. But it is Judgement who is the verdict. This person's final decision will decide where the future shall lie...here in Etheria or in the mortal world."
"Then the Hunter have been seeking the wrong person…as have I."
"Not quite."
Van looked up questioningly.
"There could never be Judgement without the Judge. However," Allen added gravely, "there could exist the Judge without Judgement."
That was it! That was the solution to his problem. Van's face suddenly became enlightened with the magnificent thought, and his joyous expression confounded his companion. But Allen did not venture to ask. He took this moment to quietly depart.
Van looked up at Allen's retreating back. He thought, regretfully, Then it appears that you and I have become much more than simple childhood rivals, my friend; for the one you promise to protect is the one I now seek to destroy…to save Hitomi.
The day had now passed into night. Across the plains of Etheria, at the very edge of civilization, a swirl of light began to form out of the fabric of darkness. Its haunting bluish tint eerily lit up the weaving sea of grass and distant mountain face. Gradually, the power began to grow, where flickers of light became dancing flames, which in turn raged into a burning doorway connecting Etheria to the mortal realm. From this unnatural entryway, emerged thirty men cloaked in dark, brown robes. Another ten followed, dressed in a heavier, silkier cloak of pitch black. These were the sorcerers.
Soft, gentle aquamarine eyes looked up at the yawning dome disseminated with stars and decorated with twin moons. A gentle breeze caressed his face and lifted his short bangs toward the heaven.
Adjacent to him, he could hear his companion let out a breath in wonder. From the corners of his eyes, he could see Dilandau's amazed crimson eyes absorb the wonder of this ethereal land. Looking straight ahead to the distant mountain, their initial destination, he let out a sigh to which attached a name, "Van."
"Allen," Van said, "since you appear to know so much of my mission, then you must also know that I have—."
"Alantia?" The knight finished the sentence for him. "Yes, I am aware of it."
Van's face became openly confused. "Then how is it that you are not affected by its power?"
"On the contrary Van," Allen said, "I am very much affected. But if you wonder why I can still remember you then I'll explain. Alantia holds the power to erase your memory from everyone who knows or knew you. However, the strongest attachments are the first to disappear. You and I are friends, true, but we are also rivals."
Van remained silent.
"I suspect that our contentious alliance helped to weaken our feelings of regard for each other. Thus, I can still remember you…a little bit longer. But the memories are fleeing, I can feel it each time I awaken."
Turning to the silent young man, he said empathetically, "So you must act quickly, Van, while my memories remain…and I can still aide you."
His companion did not respond. Allen observed Van's strained face under the unclear light of the small fire in front of them. Around these two, Rad and the others were busily munching down on the fish Van caught earlier, apparently oblivious to the somber conversation that just passed. Allen pitied this young man, whom he had known since they were very young. He was just a young lad, around thirteen, when his parents had delivered him to Laurith under the care of Balgus, his newly appointed swordsmaster. It was on that day when he encountered a very stubborn, rash, and honourable boy (of about five) with ebony hair and reserved garnet eyes. As he later found out, this boy, Van Slanzar de Fanel, the only son of Queen Varie, was to become his greatest rival and his greatest companion.
Such a heavy burden these young shoulders carry, he thought sadly.
Van stirred beside him. He awoke from his thoughts in time to see the young man stand up and head toward the edge of the forest. Allen remained where he was. Van needed time alone.
All that had happened, all that were revealed to him during the past three days were much to understand. In truth, they brought greater confusion to him, and greater anxiety. Just when he thought he had things figured out, more events unfold that would cause him to relapse into uncertainty. This new element, Judgement, had overly complicated things. Although it provided him with a solution to ensure Hitomi's survival, it also brought on the dilemma of finding this individual…and finding this person in time. Deep down, Van knew time was running out. The clock was ticking toward the end of Succession. Additionally, this Judgement would mean that he would have to kill another innocent person to save the one he loved. Despite his determination to protect Hitomi, Van could not help but feel the injustice of the situation. Had there been a choice, he would rather not kill anyone.
"Amano."
Hitomi's gentle voice quickly snapped him out of his thoughts. Van searched around the darkness for the source of the sound.
"Amano, why have you brought me here?"
Van's head snapped to the left. His eyes narrowed with anger slowly rising to the surface. Swiftly, silently, he headed in the direction of her voice.
They were not far, as was suspected. Van slowed down as he approached them, determined to remain hidden within the shadows. He peered through the wall of leaves and twigs to spy on Hitomi standing alone with Amano at the shoreline. The full faces of Etheria's twin moons were their background. Van endeavoured to calm his raging heart, and listened with newly heightened senses to their conversation. He was very curious as to why they were here, alone…together. However, the first words that Amano spoke immediately answered his question, and awaken his greatest fears.
"Hitomi," Amano began, "I will not beat-around-the-bush. I will be candid with you. The reason I brought you here…is to tell you…how much I love you."
Hitomi was speechless with shock. Van could barely make out her face, but the silence insinuated that she was not expecting this declaration of love. However, he now urgently needed to hear what her reply would be.
Amano observed her face hopefully but as the silence ensued with each second, fear began to overcome his heart. He took a step closer but halted when she finally spoke.
"Amano," she said hesitantly. Then she looked up into his eyes and spoke in a clear, strong voice, "I do love you…"
That was all he needed to hear. Van closed his eyes and his mind to the scene. He quickly slipped away unnoticed back into the darkness. He ignored the abject sorrow burning within his broken heart. Instead, he focused his cold crimson eyes upon the dark path ahead, without a glance back. Pushing his way roughly through the thick underbrush covering this side of the lake, Van walked rapidly; each step he took was filled with increasing rage. The sharp twigs scratched his arms and his face, drawing trickles of blood, but he was numb to the physical pain. His whole body was inundated with the flame of a broken heart. Where he was heading, he could have cared less. All he wanted to do was get away: away from this pain, away from this cursed fate, and away from a love he knew could never be.
However, had he stayed for just one moment longer, he would have understood the words that initially enraged him, for Hitomi had more to say.
"I do love you but it is not the love I believe you would want from me."
Amano was not surprised by the answer. Had he not foresaw this?
"I see."
"Oh, Amano." Hitomi struggled to comfort an individual that had become such a dear friend to her. However, a friend was all she could consider of him. The heart he asked for was no longer hers to give because she had already given it to another. "You are a dear friend to me, Amano, and I never wish to hurt you like this but—."
He raised a hand to quiet her. Smiling sadly, but understandingly, he said, "Do not worry Hitomi. I understand."
"Please," Hitomi pleaded, "say that we are still friends."
He stepped closer to her, and raised a kind hand to wipe away a single tear from her eye. He said softly, "You will always have a friend in me, my dear Hitomi."
Hitomi smiled gratefully.
"So I guess correctly that you love another," he said.
Hitomi's gaze fell to the dark ground below. "Yes," she whispered.
He was a little taken back by her sad tone. Letting out a small laugh to lighten the mood, he said, "Van better prove to be someone worthier than me."
Hitomi looked up in surprise. "You knew?" she breathed.
Amano nodded. "I've guessed it for some time but, for some reason, I still harboured the hope that perhaps I was wrong. That maybe you have some feelings for me. I guess it that he doesn't know yet?"
She shook her head sadly, a slight blush colouring her cheeks.
Her friend's expression became sympathetic and concerned. "You should tell him, Hitomi."
"I…I don't know."
"If you don't, you will regret it." Amano sighed as he looked up at the moons. "Our lives are short, and for some it may be shorter still."
Hitomi listened in surprise.
"We may only get one opportunity to truly love, and if we miss that chance then all that's left is disappointment. Things have become rather dangerous for you, Hitomi, and I'm sure for him as well. So I advise that you tell him the first opportunity you get before something happens and you lose the chance of ever letting him know how you feel."
Hitomi knew Amano was referring to the near-death situation Van encountered days earlier. He was right. Should something happen to Van or to herself, and she lost her chance to tell him how much she loved him, she would never forgive herself.
"Thank you, Amano," Hitomi said appreciatively. "I will tell him." When I get the chance.
Amano soon left her alone, to contemplate on the event passed and the words that were exchanged. Did she feel any uncertainty about her decision to let go of an evident love to pursue one whose heart remained to be understood? Honestly, yes. At first, she was a bit doubtful whether she made the right decision. She knew whom she loved but she didn't know where her future would head. It was natural she should worry whether her decision would lead to any possible happiness in the future. Was she being fatuitous? Following a mad love that might possibly be unrequited. However, as Hitomi stood alone, looking out over the serene face of the enchanted lake, something inside of her told her she made the right choice. Go with your gut instinct, her friend always told her before a race. Closing her eyes with a smile, she thought, Hadn't I always?
Hitomi decided to take a short stroll along the shore to clear her mind. Incidentally, she soon found herself approaching a lone figure resting on a rocky overhang a few feet above the water's surface. His beautiful garnet eyes looked out over the serene night with a dark fire burning deep within. The inner conflict could clearly be seen on his face. Concerned, Hitomi spoke up, for she knew who this individual was.
"Van," she called gently as she slowly approached him from behind.
He made no move to respond to her presence, verbally or physically.
Slightly abashed by this unexpected cold behaviour, she placed a hand on his shoulder but he immediately shook it off. Withdrawing in bafflement, she asked again, her voice betraying her surprise and offense.
"Van? Is something wrong?"
"It's no concern of yours," he said in an overly sharp voice. Immediately, he felt regret when he heard her sharp intake of breath and the sad tone of voice she spoke with next.
"Why…Why are you acting this way, Van? Why have you become so distant suddenly?"
"Since when have I ever become intimate?" he retorted. He stood up and turned around to face her with jealous anger still in his eyes. However, her appearance of anguish and sorrow caused his expression to soften involuntarily.
She took a step back; tears began to appear in her eyes. Clearly, his words had deeply hurt her. Holding her hands together close to her chest, she whispered in an unsteady tone while her feet slowly retreated, "Evidently, I have…I have mistaken." She spun around to hide the burning emotions escaping down her cheeks. "I'm sorry…" Hitomi fled with a distraught heart.
Instinctively, Van reached out after her but she was soon gone from his sight. For a moment, he stood there with uncertain eyes, fists clenched white by his side. He slumped down in anger: of her, of the world, of himself. Falling back against the cold stone face, he looked up at the dismal night sky with a soul that now felt so empty and lost. The sorrow and betrayal he recalled in her eyes soon quenched the jealous fire that consumed him. Now, all that was left was a wilted strand of smoke that painted his heart with nothingness. The jealousy and anger were gone. Van gradually collected his thought with a lucid mind, which immediately revealed to him all the faults he blindly made. And he repented.
How could I? he thought. What I felt was natural but how I acted was unacceptable. What vile, self-centered, creature have I become? Oh, what she must think of me now. He let out a sad sigh. She has every right to choose the man she loves, and every right to be happy. Should I not rejoice? After all, it will mean she will have happiness at the end of all this misery. Had I not promised myself to love her in secrecy? And yet I become jealous. Had I not wanted her to have no attachment to me? And yet I become enraged when I see that she does not. My heart's action contradicts my words. I cannot let that happen again. He sat up. I must see Hitomi tomorrow. There is much for me to say…to a friend.
The moon hung high in the sky, but Hitomi found she could not fall asleep. The pain Van had inflicted upon her torn heart was too much to bear. It was better to have accepted Amano's love after all. Certainly, it would not have brought on all this agony. Well, at least now she knew of Van's regard for her. There was absolutely none.
Sighing, she threw aside the blanket and got off her bed. Opening the wooden door gently, Hitomi snuck out into the woods. She had decided to head for that gem-filled chamber she found earlier. It was a place that she could spend in solitude to nurse her heart, and hope that it would heal.
When she finally reached the chamber, the gems were glowing with an inherent light. The entire room was filled with a misty luminescence that was both beautiful and haunting. She stepped into the chamber in amazement. However, the truly unexpected picture was yet to reveal itself to her. As she approached the other side of the chamber, near the opening framing the lake, she froze. A strange disturbance beneath the surface near Hitomi had caught her attention. Suddenly, before her startled gaze, grand white wings exploded through the calm lake surface. Van burst through the surface of that enchanted water with unspeakable magnificence. The pale glitter of water droplets rained down around him. His eyes were closed and wet ebony bangs clung to his face, framing his handsome features. His bare chest glistened in the pale moonlight, while his snowy-white wings radiated an unnatural aura. He shook his wings to free some of the water from his lovely feathers before turning around to approach the small fall at the opening of the chamber, where Hitomi stood. Upon opening his eyes, he immediately froze.
She was a beautiful sight to behold. The glittering background and streaming water in the foreground made her appear mysterious and enchanting like a naïve nymph, gazing secretively at her human lover. However, the sad expression in her eyes woke him to the reality of the situation. Van folded his wings in shame.
She did not flee. She did not move. Hitomi could only stare at the stunning young man standing waist-deep in the water so near to her. The sight of his wings was breathtaking. She could still recall the first time she saw them, and how they held her breath as they did now. His crimson eyes conveyed commensurable surprise. At length, however, she found her legs and the memories of their last conversation, which caused her to slowly retreat. But he would not allow them to depart in the same way again.
"Hitomi," he called her urgently, stopping her before she could escape him again.
She hesitated but decided to leave nonetheless.
"Please," he implored.
She stopped.
Sighing, he looked down at the water's surface. A haggard face, flagged down by exhaustion and despondency, gazed back up at him. He spoke in a tired and defeated tone, "I'm…I'm sorry Hitomi…for what I said earlier."
Her body stiffened in surprise but she did not turn around. She remained silent.
"I…I had no right to talk to you in that way. I spoke in haste and anger. I never meant any of the words I said." He paused briefly before continuing, "After you left, I realized how great of an error I've made; how I've mistreated you. Please, forgive me…if you can."
She wrapped her arms around her upper torso in her attempt to withhold the emotions threatening to overthrow her composure. Hitomi's silence and irresponsiveness created greater despair in Van. Opening his wings, he flew out of the water toward the chamber opening.
"Hitomi," he whispered.
Hitomi was startled to hear his voice so near. Spinning around, she saw him standing beneath the small fall only an arm's length from her. The cool water dripped over his bare chest and pants. His dark hair drooped around his face, framing his alluring garnet eyes. Van's expression was openly sad and contrite.
Hitomi finally asked in a quiet voice, "What had troubled you so much, Van?"
He gazed deeply into her emerald pupils. She was clearly concerned for him. That was all. No traces of anger or hatred. Just concern.
He clenched his fists, struggling to control his emotions. In the end, however, her gentle, kind gaze tore down his barrier. He realized, distressingly, that he could no longer withhold the passion burning in his heart. Turning quickly away, Van dove back into the water to resurface a short distance from her. He turned his back to her in fear of falling under her enchantment once again. He was so close, too close, to the point of telling her what his heart now screamed.
"Van?" Hitomi uttered in a confused voice. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Why, Van? Why won't you answer me?"
"I…I cannot," he whispered over his shoulder. Ambivalent burgundy eyes studied the rippling surface absentmindedly. A discordant storm was raging within him, and it shook down every barrier he worked so hard to build around his heart.
They were soon inundated in silence. Both felt uncertain and doubtful of their own actions at this critical moment. Hitomi withheld the urge to runaway, to cry. Something was wrong, and she was determined to educe a response from him. She observed his captivating back framed with grand white wings. The tips of some long feathers wove back-and-forth with the rippling surface.
"Amano declared his love for me this night," she finally spoke again. She did not understand why she told Van that but somehow, she knew she must. And she knew she must tell him much more.
Her statement elicited a startled response from him. His body was now rigid and apprehensive, waiting for what she would say next. His head, however, was bowed.
"Had he told me a month earlier," she continued, her gaze never leaving his back, "I might have accepted with a rejoicing heart. But," she paused for a moment before saying, "he told me now, when I could not acknowledge his love."
Van turned his head slightly to the side. He observed her doleful but sincere expression from the corners of his eyes, briefly, before turning away again.
"Why?" was all he said.
Hitomi slipped silently down into the water and approached him slowly as she responded: "My heart is no longer mine."
He furrowed his brows in bewilderment. What does she mean?
Reaching from behind him, Hitomi wrapped her arms around his bare torso. He immediately stiffened in surprise upon feeling her warm touch. Her gentle hands lay flat upon his chest. Van struggled with great difficulty to control the urge of returning her embrace.
She laid her head against his bare back; walls of white surrounded her peripheral vision. Hitomi whispered, " Because it now belongs to you." She closed her eyes and allowed the tears of pain to slip free.
Van remained momentarily suspended between the wonder and the surprise of the moment. Her declaration, so clear and definite, took him completely unaware. He felt as if he should cry: with joy, with sorrow, or with regret. He had averred to discourage her attachment to him; so then…how did it come about that she…loved him.
Clenching his fists, he whispered in a tight voice, "You should not have fallen in love with me."
Her embrace loosened on surprise of hearing his statement.
"I…I understand," she whispered sadly. Slowly, she withdrew her arms and began to step away. Losing her touch and the intimacy with which they briefly shared was more than he could handle. Spinning around, he grabbed her hand.
"Hitomi."
She looked up into his solemn eyes in surprise. She could not understand his action. A mournful frown masked his face. Clearly, she spied conflict beneath those waves of burgundy.
"Va—."
But he interrupted her. Swiftly, allowing the instinct of his passion to overtake his body and mind, Van pulled her into his yearning arms and pressed her lips to his. He held her in a tight embrace as their lips met to convey a love that was withheld for too long.
Author's note:
Hi everyone! I've finally managed to complete another chapter. Well, the long-awaited event finally happened. wink Van and Hitomi acknowledged their love to each other, but it was a bit of a rough ride to get there, wasn't it? A little extra twist to the story here as well. I'm sure you've noticed the length of this chapter, I bet. Please forgive me for making it so long but I figure since I'll only post maybe a chapter a month, I might as well make it worthwhile. Hopefully, this will last you guys for a while. :p Additionally, excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes I might have overlooked. I had very little time to edit this chapter. Now that school's about to start, I'll have less time to write but I will certainly continue on, albeit slower.
Thanks always for those who took the time to review. I consider them as little presents for my work.
Next: Chapter 15: "Eos"
Cosmos 2004