Chapter 4

Roy walked quietly back towards the kitchen. He could hear them talking, and Johnny wasn't even trying his usual lady's man tactics on Hayden. Roy had to smile, Johnny wouldn't have gotten very far with them on her, she wasn't what he was use to, and Roy knew first hand the kind of person Hayden was.

Hayden was listening to Johnny, when she looked away from him toward the doorway of the kitchen and smiled. She knew Roy was standing there, knew what he was thinking, and she had to smile. Johnny, on the other hand, had no clue Roy was standing just out of sight, and looked curiously at the woman in front of him who just a moment ago had been giving him her full attention.

"Something wrong?" he asked as he looked behind him to see nothing. This only made Hayden's smile brighter. "No, just an eavesdropper." She said the accent in her voice was strong and heavy with laughter.

Johnny was silent for a moment, until Hayden spoke again only in Gaelic, then he was confused. "Squir taghairm a thalla!" As she spoke the words, Roy walked into the kitchen. "Aithne gin fala-dia." He said to her, and Johnny realized she had been talking to Roy in this odd language. "What was that?" he asked, turning back to her. "That was Gaelic, and I simply told Roy to stop listening and come along." She replied as she handed Roy his tea.
"I told her she was no fun." Roy said before Johnny could ask him.

"I never knew you could speak another language." Johnny said to him. "Well, I usually don't, and Hayden's the only person I know who speaks it, so there no reason."

"This is going to be interesting." Johnny said with smile. He had no idea just how interesting. Turning her attention back to Johnny, Hayden smiled and asked, "So you really like the tea?"

As she waited for his reply, Roy's voice was in her head saying 'Oh, brother.' She shot him a look that said to be quite, but he just smiled at her. Johnny caught the exchange between them, and wondered. "Yea, I like it." He said after a moment, and then turned to Roy. "Roy how was Joanne and the kids?" "Fine, I told her you were in town, Hayden, and she said to tell you to come by tonight if you'd like." Hayden smiled, "I just may do that. I haven't seen those kids in a while, well, I've seen Chris since Jennifer, but I brought her something." "You didn't have to do that." "I know, but did you honestly think I would come to town and not bring you're children something." Roy smiled, she always had something for the kids, and they always knew she would.

"Well, I think I should be going." Hayden walked around the counter and gathered her things. "It was nice meeting you, Johnny." "The pleasure was mine." He said, and Roy rolled his eyes. "You'll be round again right?" he said before he caught himself. Hayden smiled, "Oh, I'm sure I will." "You two behave." She said as she again hugged Roy. "Especially you."

Roy and Johnny stood and watched as she drove away. "Don't worry," Roy began before Johnny had time to say a word, "I'll tell you all about her." And with that, the two paramedics turned and headed back into the station.

Chapter 5

Hayden drove in silence towards Roy's house. She smiled as she thought of the two kids that would be waiting for her. Thinking of them made her happy yet brought a small twinge of sadness too. If things had been different, could that have been her family instead of Joanne's? She thought about that sometimes, thought of how it would have been if she had given in to Roy that night.

Shaking her head, Hayden blinked back the tears. She knew she had done the right thing, knew that she wasn't the one Roy would be able to share his dreams with. He had had so many plans when they were growing up. Wanted to do so many things, and Hayden knew she couldn't be apart of those dreams, knew she had to return to Scotland, had to pick up where her father left off when he died, knew too many people were relying on her for provision, and safety. She knew that Roy would have went back with her, led a life there in the Highlands with her, but his dreams couldn't be filled there, he would have had to change his whole life. Hayden knew he would have done just that for her, but she also knew that one day he would have had regrets. Loosing him over that would have been worse than letting him go.

Drifting into the past, Hayden could still remember the night she told him she would be returning to Scotland after the summer.

"It's going to be great, Cat." Roy said, pulling her a little closer to him. They sat on the beach, a fire burning close by, and soft music played from the radio Roy had brought along. The moon was full, and the stars were countless, it was perfect. "Just think, from this moment forward, we have the whole world in front of us." His pure joy filled her heart and soul. This was how it was supposed to be, love. Hayden could never ask for more, but Roy wanted so much more than she could give, and she knew that.

She listened as he talked, calling her Cat, only he called her that, it was short for her middle name, Catrina, but she never really liked it, but when he called her Cat, it made her want to purr.

"Is something wrong?" she heard him ask, bringing her back from her thoughts. Hayden smiled, but a single tear escaped before she could stop it. Alarmed, Roy straightened to see her better. "Hayden!" he said her name in a tone that made what she had to tell him worse. "Oh, Roy." She said, letting the tears go now as she looked at him. This was the one guy who had given her everything, showed her love in many ways, and was willing to stand up for her no matter what the odds.

Roy pulled her close, wrapping his arms tight around her. "What could be so bad, Cat, when there's so much to look forward to." She held on to him wanting this moment to last forever. "What kind of a future can we have when I have to return home?" Hayden's words were soft, but he still heard them as if she had yelled them. "Home, you mean Scotland home?" he asked the question, but knew the answer. "Aye, Scotland." She said, letting her accent free. "I have to, Roy, there's too much depending on me there." She said. He was quite for a long moment, thoughts racing through his mind. The thought of loosing her now was crazy. "Then I'll go with you." He said, looking deep into her eyes.

Hayden could see so much in those eyes, fear, love, need, and a dream. It was that dream that tugged at her heart the most. "And what of that dream of yours? I can't give that to you, and someday you would hate me for it." "NO! I would never hate you, Hayden, I love you, doesn't that make up for everything else. We can make, I know we can." "I want to believe that, I know better. Roy, there's someone out there to share that dream with you I know there is. I can't give you what you need, and I know you well enough to know that if I give in and let you go with me, you'd resent me for it down the road. I would stay here, but I can't, I have to go home, I have to."

Roy stood, turning away from her, she knew she had hurt him she could feel his pain. Hayden stood, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Try to understand. I do love you, but I don't believe love is enough to fix this. No guarantee of a happy ending, and I can't stand the thought of you hating me someday for keeping you away from a dream."

Silence fell between them. Hayden closed her eyes, the tears stung her eyes and her heart was dying. Roy turned, taking her into his arms. All the emotions ran through him, coursing over them both. "When do you have to leave?" he whispered. Speaking the words made it so final, and it broke his heart. "At the end of the summer." She said, holding tight to the man she would be letting go. "Then I guess we'll just have to make the best of the time we have left." With those words, he kissed her deeply letting all the love, all the desire flow through it. He would spend what time they had making memories that would last them both a lifetime.

Coming back to reality, Hayden smiled and wiped the tears from her face. Pulling into the Desoto driveway, Hayden sat in her car for a long moment. She had been right to leave that summer. Things had worked out like they were supposed to. Joanne had been there for Roy when she left. They had known each other since before Hayden had come to America. Hayden knew she was the one for Roy knew she would share his dreams, and bring him happiness. But it didn't change her feelings. Joanne had been a good friend to her too. And still, knowing everything about the past, Joanne didn't treat her like the other woman, she knew Hayden would stand behind Roy and her, and she knew that Hayden would never try and take Roy away from her, knew that her marriage was safe, and knew she could trust Hayden with her whole heart.

Taking a deep breath to compose herself, Hayden looked at herself in the rearview mirror, wiping again at her eyes, then got out of the car a headed for the door.