a/n: I usually use italics for thoughts and quotes for talking, since it's important to differeniate the two, especially in a romance. Sorry if Joey seems a bit wimpy in this fic, but I'm trying to bring out his more sensitive, romantic side out. I think that he does have one.....way deep down. (Joey: HEY!) Okay, maybe not WAY deep down. (Joey: Dat's betta......)

"talking"

thoughts, emphasis

Dating 101

The school year was drawing to a close. exuberant students skipped merrily around; at least those who had already passed the grueling exams. Tea, not being one of them, sighed; lugging around twelve books was so tedious. At least Mai had relieved my mind of one thing….it didn't matter whether Joey would be elected King or not now…..unless she happened to change her mind….

She'd BETTER not! I don't care if I have to handcuff them together; they're going…..on their....friggin'.....date....!!

Her back hurt and she was in a grumpy mood as she waddled to the library. Studying was such a task….she felt zombie-like when she emerged two hours later. And I still don't get algebraic equations! "Letters and numbers should never be mixed!" she wailed, aloud.

"No, mutts and Kings should never be mixed." A raspy voice said smirkingly in the near-empty halls. "Did you study and study your little peabrains out, Gardener?"

Tea whirled around, causing a few books to spill from her grasp. "Yes, in fact, I did," she said haughtily. "And don't call Joey a 'mutt', you freak!" She thrust a fist forward like she was going to knock his block off. "No one wants a robot for a King!"

"Dogs aren't allowed, either." Kaiba's evil cackle resounded off the walls as he kicked some books further away from her grasp with his tall black boot. Tea made a sound of utter outrage, but knew if were she too complain he would just bully worse..

"Hey 'pal', pick dose up!" Joey had Kaiba by the collar immediately.

Kaiba calmly swung him off with a flick of his wrist. Tea grabbed Joey's arm to keep him from going at him again. "Joey, you can't fight him, else you'll be disqualified! Remember, one more fight, and you're out!"

Kaiba's smirked widened suddenly, seeing a little 'something' going on between Miss Friends 'R Us and the Mutt, the way they kept avoiding each other's eyes. Taking the DHS finals had insulted his intelligence, and he was bored. "Interesting...." he drawled, catching their attention, as they stared, puzzled. He just laughed and laughed. "The Dog and Ms. Blabs....Priceless!" He laughed like it wass the funniest thing ever, and sauntered down the hall, out of sight.

"Stupid…." Joey muttered a curse under his breath. He's bluffing. He doesn't know his face from a Relinquish's. "One day I'd like ta take a hammer ta him and--" he made a violent gesture. "Here, let me help. What's he buggin' ya about fer, anyway?"

"Prom King," Tea said without thinking, grateful to be relieved of some of the books. "What are doing here, after school?" Surely not studying

"Ya doan hafta be so surprised," he muttered. "Mebbe I was turnin' and new leaf and doin' some studyin', what's it to ya?"

"Coincidentally, I was just in the library," Tea pointed out, "and plus your wearing your muddy soccer uniform shirt."

"Ouch." He said with a wince. "Okay, okay, I was practicin' fer da big soccer meet against Fushin High, it's da finals, ya know," he asid proudly as they walked to the exit. "Aren'tcha on dat dancing team….?"

"Cheerleading squad," she corrected. "All this practicing is fine and dandy, Joey, but you have to study for your exams, too." Especially since grades are reviewed for the Prom King election…..

"Oh, yeah, 'cause of da…..King election ding." He paused for a moment, thinking hard. "But….I doan need ta run, since Mai already promised me a date wit 'er, do I?"

"Well……yeah….." Tea hesitated, stopping at the big green double doors. "But…..that stupid Kaiba. He's thinks he can get anything with no work, since he's elected every year, and refuses the title every year. I'd REALLY like to show him up and deflate that big ego of his," Tea confirmed viciously, clenching her fist into a ball. "And plus…..I bet he's really sweating about it," she added.

"….." Joey was stunned for a second. For some reason, their shared enmity at his archenemy was kind of a turn-on. "Um, why is dat?"

"He 'mentioned' it just now, and he wouldn't have if he was confident about it," Tea said thoughtfully. "Hmm….and the other campaigner is Duke, but I doubt we have to worry about him…..he'll probably bribe people with money to vote for him, like that stupid Kaiba." Which means…..we'll have to think of something better! she thought, opening the door determinedly.

They walked home in silence, until finally they reached her door, both thinking hard. "Well, bye, I've got some studying to do," said Tea, taking back her books with a slight umph.

"I'll be back," he said softly, "wit dat ding ya promised......?"

"What?….oh, that," Tea said as if it hadn't been on her mind, at all, even though it did cross it a few times. "Yeah, I've been thinking on how to do it." she sighed. "The best way I've come up with is this: You pretend you're on a date, and I'll tell you what you're doing wrong, and you fix. Okay?" Sheesh.....like I have enough time for this.....

"Okay! And doan worry I'll take good notes!" he cheerfully tapped a spiral-back little notebook. Tea sweatdropped. "I'll be back afta I change," he said as he walked further away.

"Thank God...." Tea muttered. "Take a bath, too!" she called after him.

%%%%%%

A few hours later, Tea sighed and rubbed her shoulders, her brain aching. That last English paper had been a doozy, twelve pages, no double space, in two hours. Sleep…must get sleep…..Beds danced in her head as she 'checked off': Doors locked, check…..windows shut, check….alarm…..activated….check….zzz…. Her parents weren't home yet, and there might be an intruder…..

Tea dreamed she was made Prom King, and instead of roses they gave her a stack of books, which Kaiba was trying to kick down, and Mai was dressing Joey in Duke Devlin's costume, and he was wailing and accusing her of taking his title. Strangely, Tea knew it was a dream; but she still woke up disorientated and woozy, wondering what had wakened her.

"Ah, shut it!"

Joey? Geez! Quickly, she got up and hurried out of her room to stop the wailing alarm. It took a moment to focus, but she got it. The silence was deafening after such a loud shrill. With a frustrated, loud sigh, Tea turned from the control panel with an angry glare.

"Er, sorry 'bout dat….da door was open….." he said as she continued to menancingly advance on him.

"Yeah, it was," said Tristan, popping out from behind him. He had tagged along with his best pal, but suddenly he decided it hadn't been such a good idea. "Er, 'bye!" he turned and made a run for it.

"Wait.....!" Tea pulled him back. It's best not to leave us alone together.... "We might need you for something, Tris." She studied him with a critical eye. Other than looking slightly uncertain, he seemed to be acting pretty normal. Good....Joey didn't tell him about what happened at the 'movie incident.' He had kept his word....Otherwise, Tristan would be like, 'Ew! Ew! Gross!'

"Do ya study wit da alarm on?" Joey made his way around her towards the living room, taking her out of her train of thought.

"No, I sleep with the alarm on. Sleep. What are YOU doing here?!" She felt like wringing his neck for giving her such a scare. "If Dad had been here, he would've shot you!"

"Heh. Cool." He said, distractedly by the outfit. She was only in a long shirt, but nothing…..else. Tristan looked up at the ceiling modestly but he just stared, rather insolently.

"What are YOU looking AT?!" Huffing back to her room, she changed into a button-down navy sweater, and matching slacks, even though it was warm outside, all the while fuming. Me and my stupid---Why did I promise to help him with this? I must've been out of my mind!

Grouchily, she stomped back into the living room, determined to give him a piece of her mind. In addition to being grumpy, she was also feeling resentful. Look at him, all careless and carefree…..everyone always depends on me! Whenever someone has a problem, who do they come to--? Tea!

He was slacked on the loveseat, the white cat on his lap and gave her the once-over, and had the nerve to comment, "I liked cher otha outfit betta."

"Very funny! Now look. I'm going to teach you how to treat a girl on a date....and Tristan....you have to be the girl."

"Uh! ME?!?!?! Why can't you be the girl!?!?!?!" he complained.

"Because! I have to be commenting on what he's doing wrong, remember? Okay, the scene is: Your meeting your date at the door. Joey, what do you do?"

The two got up and went to the door, at Tea's ushering. She looked up at him expectantly, tugging at her collar of her sweater to cool down. Hurry, hurry.....

"Um, okay." Joey looked at his dear old friend up and down. "Boy, you are ugly-lookin' for a girl."

"Hey, you're no sunset on the beach either, man!" Tristan shot back, fist out.

"Guys!" Tea said throught gritted teeth, as the two double arm-wrestled. "Stop it!" She yanked down none too gently apart, glaring. They immediately settle down and looked ashamed. "Joey, you're not to call her 'ugly'! You're supposed to compliment her!" She smacked his shoulder in emphasis, looking very agitated. "So stop horsing around!"

One of them made a neighing sound, and both guffawed. Tea's turned ever-so stormy. "Okay, who did that?!?!"

Both pointed to each other.

"Okay, that's it! If you're not going to take this seriously, I'm....!" She started to stomp off and they were immediately, "Aw......We'll be serious, really!" and finally convinced her to come back.

"Fine," she said grimly. "You'll probably take her out for dinner. So...."

"I'll be the waiter!" Tristan said, immediately, before he was assigned as the girl,.again. He slung a dishtowel over his arm. "So, mon amies, vat it'll be tonight?!"

"All right....drop the cheesy accent!" Tea sat down, eager to get this over with. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking, choosing friends like these! "Take our orders." she ordered.

"Oh, no wait....I hafta pull out cher chair fer ya first." Joey quickly got up, and did so. "Dere!"

"Fine....but you're not supposed to say 'dere'....I mean, 'there!'" Tea corrected herself, turning slightly red as Tristan looked on curiously. "Say, um.... 'Your seat, my lady?'"

"Yer seat, milady?" He added a bow, fluttering his wrist around.

"Maybe not so grandoise," she warned, sitting and checking her watch. "Guys.....we'd better hurry this up because....my parents'll come home soon. Now Joey, be sincere, but suave." she hurried.

Tristan carried on with his cheesy accent. "Ze menu. May I make a recommendations?"

"Can we?! Drop da accent....."

"As I wuz saying," gritted Tristan, grinding his fist on top of Joey's head, "ze specials arre: le escargots, and ze squid a la Franz."

"Wouldja quit punchin'?" Joey, about to jump up to Tristan into a headlock, was stopped by Tea's shake of her brunette head. "But--! He's attackin' me!"

"You have learn to control your temper, Joey," Tea said in tone used many times. "Maybe the real waiter will be obnoxious on your date, like Tristan is."

"Hey!" Tristan looked highly insulted, as she looked sheepish.

"Well.....okay," Joey shot one last glare at him, and Tea shook her head at him. Maybe this'll e a good chance for him to change.... He stopped glaring and forced a smile so fake, that Tea couldn't help think it a pathetic attempt. Maybe not..... "I'll have da.....escargots..." He stopped. "Please." Tea smiled.

"Certainement, monseir." Tris pretended to write on an imaginary pad. "An' for ze lady?"

"Ummm....a house salad," Tea murmured, thinking that Joey just ordered snails. I hope Mai and him don't go to a French cafe...! .Sighing, she could only stare when Tristan walked away, and Joey said:

"So, how'm I doin'?"

"We're going to need that microphone," she said wearily. He blinked.

"Whatta ya mean, I thought chu were jus' kiddin'!"

"You'll wear an ear piece, hidden from sight, and then you'll be able to hear everything I instruct. And do it." Now, where are we supposed to get something like that? That's the question.

"Really? You'd do dat for me?" He looked delighted, and she sighed again, less enthusiastic. Maybe I should've kept my mouth shut. "I mean, ya doan hafta do none of dat if ya doan want to."

"Oh, no, I want to," she said, even less unconvincingly. "Your date must go well. It must."

He watched her as she picked a stray thread from the well-worn couch. "Naw, ya don't hafta, really. I mean," He went on as she started to protest, "ya'll be busy whicher.....own prom date, right?"

Their eyes met and she hastily studied the window, where it was dark and raining. "I can help you, still. I can do both."

"Who're.....ya goin' with?" She didn't answer. "......Yuge?" He leaned in a bit further, just enough to give her space, trying to catch her eye.

After a pause, Tea nodded her head. "Yeah, prob--mostly likely." She didn't look at him

"He ask ya yet?" He felt a stab of jealousy that couldn't be helped.

"No....." she sighed sadly, causing more stabs. "Not yet. But he will." she said determindedly, a direct look in her aqua eyes. "Or, I'll ask him."

"Sounds.....like you're pretty determinded," he noted, as a silence fell. Then, "In dat case, I'm sure you'll go. I didn't see nothin' yet ya couldn't do."

Despite the awkwardness, she felt a flush of pleasure at the compliment. "....Thanks....." Now I feel even more awkward! She fidgeted, wondering where did Tristan run off to, why couldn't he interrupt them now? Probably found a stray tuna sandwich in the fridge.....

"Nervous?" He smiled, sort of smugly, putting his hands in an oh so relaxed way.

"Huh?" Tea was so surprised by that question, she looked directly, in puzzlement.

"Well, at least, I got ya ta look at me....."

"I am looking at you," she said testily, not looking at him.

"Not unless I'm clear, flat, an' about three square feet wide," he observed. "What's so interestin' 'bout dat window?"

"Nothing...you would understand," she muttered, her mood dipping as dark as India ink. "Oh!" she said suddenly. "Make sure you take lots of money; you'll have to take her to a five star restaurant...."

And a .....movie.....She gulped, and quickly got up. Maybe that's why she's was so eager to......I can't help thinking that must be it. He followed.

"C'mon. Doan change da subject. What's wrong?" he cajoled, as she went to the window and looked out, seemingly peacefully.

"Nothing, I said!" Her chestnut brows angled down in anger over her shoulder.

"All right," he said, calmly, for once. Although, his brown-coal eyes were flashing with impatient frustration. "Obviously, ya wanta be alone right now." She didn't argue that. It was the best thing to imagine, like a shimmering mirage to a hungry traveler. "So, one mo' ding, before I go, den." He paused and she looked at him, wondering what it was, but about to answer anything to be left alone. " How 'bout...... um, the good night kiss."

"....." WHA? She could only stare blankly.

"You dink dat I oughta.....?" he asked, with a perfectly straight face; so straight, you could have hung a coat hanger on his nose. The Tea realized what he was talking about. Duh..

He's asking ......whether he should kiss Mai at the end of their little date. Tea considered it, thinking it thoroughly hard. Well, if it had gone good, then why not? But, then again, if it didn't.....he might just be due in for a slap. Tea frowned, thinking about the devestation that would ensue. It would be like Mai to slap him. Heaven knows, she's done it enough times! Tea smirked humorlessly, remembering ruefully. It really does all depend how it went.

Realizing he was still waiting for an answer, a piece of advice, she finally nodded decisively, turning around from the window so he could see. It's best he does, even though there's a chance he'll be hurt. Maybe Mai will take pity on him! "I say, go for it!"

"Yes ma'am," he said, taking a step closer so they were face to face, so close she could be mesmerized by every little cute freckle. "Like dis....?"

ToBeContinued....

A/n: J/T is a very dramatic couple. It's like, oh, I like you, but I like someone else too ! (faint) I don't know whether to make him kiss her or not. I want to build up tension, but.....I don't know ! So sorry for the cliffie, but I'll update asap. Review to find out what'll happen on HAT next !