Title: Collapse (1/3) rewritten
By: adoreleo
Rating: PG13 - Contains some language.
Characters: Leo, Margaret, Abbey and Jed
Spoilers: Anything up to and including Disaster Relief from Season Five of West Wing.
Disclaimer: The characters are from the NBC, WB, TV show The West Wing; they don't belong to me.
Beta & Additional Ideas By: Lynn, who always goes above and beyond the call.
THANKS!!!!
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated.
Author's Notes:
The original Collapse was written and posted Nov 2003.The original Collapse was only five pages and it was only my second attempt at writing fan fiction. I posted the first part with every intention of posting an ending to it. But, several other Leo/Margaret stories demanded that I write them and they sidetracked me.
I'm sorry that I have left you hanging all these months. One of the main reasons why I didn't finish it was that I was unhappy with it. I originally wrote it in first person, but I have discovered that I'm much better at telling stories in third person, so I have changed it. Also, I have added a few things that I felt were missing. Hope you enjoy it. Part Two will be posted within the next few days. And needless to say, I wrote this long before any talk of Leo having a heart attack, but I decided to finish it and post it anyway.
Summary: Leo is still trying to deal with aftermath of Zoey's kidnapping.
Collapse (Part 1)
Autumn 2003
Margaret sits by herself, at her desk, waiting for Leo to come back from the Situation Room. She's been there for a while, thinking about the events of the past few months. She has known and worked for Leo for over thirteen years. He's a good and decent man who has spent most of his adult life serving his country and it has cost him dearly, both physically and emotionally. Over the years, she's seen him at his best and at his worst, but she has never seen him this distraught. For once, she doesn't know how to help him and even if she did know what to do, he wouldn't let her. As usual, he's hell bent on punishing himself for something he has no control over.
Margaret suspects that Leo still blames himself for Zoey's kidnapping. He hasn't said it, but Margaret understands him. She can see it on his face and in his actions. He always plays things close to the vest, but this time it's way past that. He's so close to the edge, and she's terrified that she won't be able to catch him if he falls.
Margaret has never before seen Leo panic, not until this past summer. When she witnessed him running past the Roosevelt Room, she knew that something dreadful had happened.
Summer 2003
The Secret Service Agents are running around like crazy in the White House and no one knows what is going on. Margaret suspects the worst and sits in her office impatiently waiting for Leo's return. Whatever is going on, she knows that he'll need her. When he finally gets back, he calls her into his office and motions for her to sit down in the chair adjacent to the couch.
"Margaret," Leo pauses, not wanting to say the words out loud. "Zoey's... missing... " Leo's voice cracks, his eyes are watery with unshed tears, "kidnapped, we think." He lowers his eyes trying to collect his emotions and then looks back up at her.
The trepidation in Leo's eyes and voice is almost too much for Margaret to handle. "Oh, Leo," she whispers back. It takes her only a couple of seconds to gather herself. She gets up from the chair and sits down next to him on the couch. "What can I do to help?" She asks as she places a comforting hand on his leg. They customarily don't touch each other in this manner, but this is no normal time.
Leo looks down at the slender creamy hand resting on his trousers and places a hand on top of it. He has no words for his assistant as he turns his eyes to meet hers. He gives her a soft sigh and gently squeezes her hand. They sit like this for a few precious seconds, and then Leo releases her hand and gets up.
"I need to get back to the Situation Room," he says quickly as he moves away from the couch.
"You have your cell?" Margaret gets up and quickly moves to his side and places a caring hand on his arm.
"Yeah," he reaches into his pants pocket to verify its presence. He stands there staring at Margaret, looking very bewildered and frightened. "Um... I need to a get back down to the Sit Room. He might need..." His voice drops off suddenly as a quick glimpse of Mallory's face crosses his mind. 'God what if it had been, her?' Leo thinks to himself, as his face grows pale.
"Leo, are you okay?" Margaret's concern evident in her voice and face.
"I'm... fine," he mumbles as he debates whether or not to call his daughter. He quickly decides against it and heads for the door. He abruptly stops, turns towards Margaret, "If Mallory calls, tell her... tell her that..."
"Leo, go. If Mallory calls, I'll tell her that you love her," she reassures him.
Leo smiles somberly at her in thanks and without another word, he hurriedly turns and is gone.
Margaret stands in the middle of his office staring at the empty doorway. After a few moments, she walks over to Leo's desk and picks up the picture of Mallory and her father, taken during last year's campaign. The man, who just left the office, looks ten years older than the man in the picture. Margaret brushes away a tear that slowly rolls down her face, as she places the picture back on the desk. She walks out to her desk, sits down and waits for his return.
During the first few hours of Zoey's kidnapping, Leo is running on pure adrenaline. He's been in and out of the Situation Room several times and each time he comes back to the office he looks a little older and more defeated.
The only time he's slowed down, any at all, is when he talks with Toby about his newborn twins. Margaret is sitting outside his office, trying to stay busy and not to eavesdrop. But, she hears the soft tone of Leo's voice, and she can't help but stop and listen. Leo's telling Toby that 'of course you're gonna be a great father, of course you're gonna love your kids the way you're supposed to.' The sound of Leo's concerned and caring voice makes Margaret shiver.
Margaret is one of the few people who knows the real Leo McGarry--the gentle, loving, compassionate man who deeply loves his daughter and his country. He has put his country first in times of war and peace. It almost cost him his life in Vietnam, and it did cost him his marriage and so much more in peacetime.
It's only been about six hours since Zoey's kidnapping. Margaret is sitting at her desk, hands fidgeting, waiting for Leo's return from the Situation Room. She knows that Leo is on his way back up to his office; because she received a phone call a little over ten minutes ago saying that he had left the Situation Room. Margaret has a secret support system though out the entire White House and pretty much knows where Leo is at any given time of the day. She keeps her informers well paid in cookies, and other home baked goods.
A worried Margaret checks her watch again and shakes her head in a disapproving manner. "Where is he?" She mutters.
Fifteen more minutes slowly past by and still no Leo. Margaret knows that he should have been back to the office by now. She gets up from behind her desk, walks into his dark vacant office, makes her way over to the connecting door to the Oval Office and peeks inside. Leo's not there either, but she continues on into the Oval. She walks over to the door that leads out onto the portico and finds him sitting on a bench, reading a small book.
Margaret stands at the bulletproof glass door and watches Leo for several moments, debating whether or not she should bother him. She takes in his image on the portico and doubts that she will ever be able to erase it from her memory. His shoulders are slumped, his usually immaculate suit is full of wrinkles and his glasses are riding low on his haggard face. He is leaning an elbow on a knee and holding up his head with a shaky hand and rubbing his worried creased forehead. She hasn't seen him look this tattered since, well since his days in the Labor Department when he was being fueled by alcohol and pills.
Breathing a leaden sigh, Margaret opens the door and steps out onto the portico. "Leo," she says in a soft voice as she moves close to his side. Leo is so deep in thought that he doesn't hear or see her. "Leo," she says again, her voice full of consternation.
She wants to sit down next to him, take him in her arms and comfort him. But that's not how they behave. She has done it before, but he was drunk or high and probably doesn't even remember all the times she comforted or took care of him in his dark past.
It finally sinks in that someone has been calling his name and is on the portico standing next to him. Leo slowly raises his somnolent eyes to the person standing next to him. He's not surprised to find Margaret, hovering over him. "Yeah," he weakly responds.
"Is there anything... anything at all that I can do for you?" She tenderly asks as she eyes him with even greater scrutiny now that she closer to him. The site of an unshaven Leo McGarry brings back some terrible memories from a night four years ago. When, for a while, she wasn't sure if she would ever see him alive again. The morning after the shooting at Roslyn was the last time she had seen Leo in need of a shave.
Leo removes his glasses and lays them down on the small leather bound book that he has been reading. Margaret's eyes follow his hand, and she sees what he's been studying so intently, before she interrupted him. She sucks in a quick breath when she reads the title, The Constitution of the United States.
Leo raises his eyes back up at Margaret and breathes a deep sigh. "Yeah, could ya get Charlie for me?" He replies as he rubs his weary eyes and tries unsuccessful to stifle a yawn.
Margaret studies him closely for a couple of seconds. The lines in his forehead are more prominent than usual and his eyes are dull with pain. "Leo... would you like a cup of coffee?"
"Yeah," he answers distractedly, as he reaches for his glasses and the book by his side. He puts on his glasses and buries his head back into the book again.
Margaret returns after being gone for only a few short minutes. This time Leo hears the distinctive clicking of her heels on the concrete surface of the portico and looks ups immediately. "Charlie's on his way," she informs him as she hands him his cup of coffee.
"Thank you," he tells her, as he takes off his glasses, sliding them into the breast pocket of his suit coat. He accepts the coffee, takes a quick sip of it and then looks back up at Margaret.
"You should get some sleep," she offers with an apprehensive look.
"I'll sleep, when he sleeps," motioning with his head towards the Residence. Then quickly looks back at her. "But you should sleep for a few hours."
"I'll sleep when you sleep," she throws back at him with a pointed look. It's been years since she's been afraid to speak her mind to him.
Leo looks at her with a heartrending face and tells her, "Well this is gonna be interesting 'cause we're gonna have a small band of dedicated people who can't lift their arms."
Margaret gives him a tight-lipped smile and slightly bobs her head. She notices Charlie approaching and walks away. She goes back to her office, sits down at her desk and waits for Leo to need her again.
Only the senior staff is present in the Oval Office when the Speaker of the House is sworn in as President. Leo introduces the staff to Walken. After the President arrives, the staff starts to give their opinions about what they should be saying to the American public. Walken speaks up and starts telling this long story that nobody really cares about. President Bartlet tries to tell Walken that the staff had been up all night, but before he can finish his statement, Walken whips his head at the President and snaps at him. The staff is shocked. President Bartlet looks at his Chief of Staff for guidance, and a demoralized Leo stares for a few seconds at his best friend and then is forced to tell him, "You're relieved, Sir."
It doesn't take long for all the senior assistants to find out what transpired in the Oval Office when President Bartlet turned over the reins of the Presidency. When Margaret finds out about this, she more than most, knows how much it must have devastated Leo to have to say that to the President.
The mantra for all of the senior staff and the assistants is 'Leo will know what to do.' He's being so strong for everyone and putting the country first. He's not showing the Republicans any weakness. But, Margaret knows how this whole situation is destroying him. She's hovering more than normal, just in case he might need her. As always, she'll be here to help him sustain his indispensable role, even if he won't ask for help.
All the stress that Leo's been under is beginning to take its toll. Since Leo doesn't have anyone to take his frustrations out on, he's been using Margaret as his release. He's gruff and demanding when it comes to her. He accused her of hiding files on his desk, yelled at her because she let him sleep an hour longer than he told her, and accused her of being his mother. He's constantly yelling for something and she never seems to do anything quick enough to suit Leo.
Normally, Margaret would say something to him about his deplorable behavior towards her, but all she can do is offer him a smile, bite her tongue and hope that her being his scapegoat is to helping to ease his burden.
Thirty something hours into the kidnapping, Margaret approaches Leo about changing out of his tattered suit that he's been wearing for the past two and a half days. She had snuck off to his hotel and got him a change of clothes when he was out meeting with Angela.
"Here," she greets him, after he gets back to his office from the Situation Room at three in the morning, shoving his garment and toilettes bag into his hands. "The shower is that way," she smirks as she points towards the general direction of the locker room.
"Margaret, I don't have time to take a shower," he says, staring back at her.
"Leo McGarry, everyone else has found time to shower and change his or her clothes and most have even gone home for at least a few hours of sleep. Not that you would know what the word sleep mean anymore," She scolds, as she takes him by the arm and guides him out into the hallway.
"But they..." Leo stops when Margaret raises a hand and gives him her best squinty-eyed look.
"But nothing," she contradicts with a forceful voice.
"Margaret," he grumbles, surprised by her boldness.
"Leo," she persists, as she stands there staring him down with both hands resting on her hips. "You have Secretary Berryhill and the Ambassador from Qumar coming here in three hours for a meeting."
Leo nods his head and appears to be wavering towards giving up and heading for the showers, when Margaret makes her last point.
"Besides, Toby is starting to worry that your beard is going to look better than his," she teases with a smile as she folds her arms across her chest.
Leo's puckered brow relaxes, and the edges of his lips turn upward into small smile at Margaret's last comment as his reaches up to scratch the stubble on his chin. Leave it to her to come up with a comment like that. Something off the wall that would make him smile at a time when he needs it the most. "Okay," he relents. "We can't have the new father all upset now, can we?" He scoffs in mock anger.
"No, we can't," Margaret beams, having won the battle.
"Yeah," he responds in a deep voice as he slowly starts down the hall.
"I'll come get you if anything happens," she calls after him.
"Knock first, would ya," Leo smirks with a lopsided grin, stopping to look back at her.
"Uh... I will," she blushes. She's glad that Leo is far away from her to see the crimson that has crept over her face.
"Nice color there, Margaret. It goes really well with your red hair," Leo says with an impish grin on his face.
"Just great," she mutters as she quickly turns and goes back into her office. A smile crosses her face once she gets to her desk. She's happy to have given Leo just a small moment of fun.
Margaret's smile doesn't last very long as she thinks about the man that just left. She's really been worried about him since Zoey's kidnapping. As she watched him walk away, she noticed that his limp is getting more persistent and prominent. It kills her to watch him struggling to hide his limp. His inability to conceal his limp is a sure sign that he's not taking very good care of himself. He's only taken a couple of short naps and hasn't been eating much since the kidnapping. The only times he's eaten are when she stood over him and forced him to eat and then she had to listen to him grumbling the whole time about it. He's running himself ragged trying to please two Presidents, run the country, keep the senior staff from killing Walken's staff, and be there for his best friend.
After Zoey was rescued, Margaret thought that things would settle down and Leo could get some much-needed rest. He didn't leave the White House during the entire kidnapping incident, except for a middle of the night, covert meeting with Angela Blake. But, as usual, nothing ever seems to slow down around this place. As a matter of fact, the weeks that follow the rescue seemed to be even more draining for Leo.
When Leo gets back from the meeting, on the new security measures for Zoey's protection, with Ron Butterfield and the First Lady, he's very detached and looks lost. Margaret suspects that it didn't go well and that something had to have happened for him to be acting the way he is. He spends the rest of the day hiding out in his office with the doors closed.
After Margaret's third attempt to get him to eat dinner in the evening, Leo unravels. "Margaret I'm not hungry, now leave me the hell alone," he yells as he slams his hand on the desk.
Margaret quickly leaves, heading for her desk, where she buries her head in her hands and softly cries. She hasn't seen Leo act like that in years. Before, he had pills and alcohol to blame for his outbursts, this time Margaret's sure that it is a close and cherished friend who is to blame.
After a few minutes, Margaret gathers herself and goes back into his office to tell him she's going home. She finds him sitting quietly in his low-lit office in his favorite chair. The one that has his Air Force blanket draped over it and sits in front of the window. He has his fingers to his chin and is staring off into space. "Leo," she softly says, as she walks over to him.
Leo drops his hand into his lap and looks up at her. "Yeah," he sighs.
Leo's watery looking eyes shock Margaret. She has to fight the urge to go to his side and offer him her shoulder. "Um... I just wanted to... know if there was... umm... anything you needed before I leave?"
"Nah, go home," he replies.
"Leo," she hesitates, afraid to set him off again. "Are you okay?"
"I'm... fine," he sighs. "Umm... sorry, bout before. Why don't ya go enjoy the fireworks," he struggles to say without letting the tears fall down his face.
"Okay," Margaret bobs her head and slowly heads for the door. She hesitates in the doorway and glances back at Leo. She can see that the tears have finally spilled from his eyes and are quietly sliding down his face. She leaves his office and slowly pulls the door shut. She walks to her desk and sits down. She decides not to go watch the fireworks, instead she will watch over Leo.
Leo's mood had been better after Zoey was rescued, but now it's deteriorating again. Later that night Margaret goes back into his office to check on him. She hears him whisper to himself 'he took the bullet for me again'. She sneaks back out of his office unnoticed. She can only imagine what took place in the security detail meeting this afternoon. But, one thing is for sure. The First Lady said something to Leo that has left him devastated.
Leo can be a very demanding boss at times and sometimes not the easiest man to work for, but now he is becoming down right impossible to work for. At least, that's what the senior staff thinks. Margaret knows what's behind his abruptness, but the staff is starting to question his motives. He is slowly losing it, and Margaret doesn't know how to help him anymore. So, she does as she has always done. She hovers, protects him and stays within the sound of his bellow, just in case he needs her.
The President, First Lady, and the senior staff are imploding and Leo's caught in the middle of it all and it's destroying him: The First Lady took Zoey away from the President; Will's leaving to work for the Vice-president; Josh's big screw up with the congressman; CJ's misspeaking to the Press. Leo's response to these problems has the staff starting to view him as a cold hearted son of a bitch. But, Margaret knows differently. Margaret wonders why the staff can't they see the agony that Leo's experiencing? He's drowning right before their very eyes.
The First Lady escaped to the farm and dragged Zoey with her. Rumor quickly spread that Abbey told the President not to come. The President is very short tempered, easily distracted and appears to be lost without his wife. Margaret heard through the grapevine that the President and First Lady aren't even speaking to one another. The First Family riff is weighing heavily on the President, and Leo is getting the brunt of the President's bad disposition.
Will Bailey has only been part of the Senior Staff for just a short time, but Leo likes what he has done so far. He's breathing new life into the communication staff and challenging the President and Toby. Leo doesn't want to lose that new spirit. But, the President agreed to let him go to the Vice-president and Leo is just too tired to fight him on this issue.
Josh's issues started during the kidnapping. His paranoid thinking was already causing problems with the Republicans and the Democrats. But, it was his cockiness that was caused the most tribulations. When the newspaper article about him came out, his head began to swell to epic proportions. He really believed what he read about himself and thought he could turn any congressman to his way of thinking. After he pushed the Democratic Senator, Chris Carrick, over to the Republicans, Leo had been forced to severely reprimand the man that he considered a son and it broke his heart.
Leo had given CJ the line about coal, but she had misspoken to the press. Leo had been trying to protect the President's popularity and save jobs in West Virginia when he omitted two paragraphs from the EPA's report. But, CJ wasn't going to let it go. When CJ brought in her revised statement, saying that she wasn't speaking for the White House, they ended up having a heated discussion with CJ quickly leaving the room.
Toby went to Leo right after Zoey's rescue. He wanted more responsibility and to help shape the President's message. He had been in Leo's face more than a few times lately. Toby isn't happy about Will's leaving and wanted to keep it from happening. That night out on the portico Margaret overheard Leo tell Toby that it was his job to protect the President and that he was holding everything together with scotch tape and bailing wire.
Autumn 2003
Margaret really is getting concerned about Leo's deteriorating health. He's lost a lot of weight, he's not sleeping and he's smoking again. His hand tailored suits are just hanging off of him. She's always fussed about his eating habits, but now she's so concerned that she has even started bringing him junk food, in an effort to get him to eat more. Even then, he just picks at the food that she brings him.
Leo has always been one to put in long hours, but at least Margaret thought he was going home at night and getting some sleep. But, she found out earlier this week that he has been leaving with her, going home for only a few short hours. Just long enough to sleep for a couple of hours, shower, change his clothes and then sneak back to work. It was by chance that she found out what he's been doing.
She wasn't spying on him, but now looking back she thinks that maybe she should have been. She isn't sure how she's going to approach the subject with him or even if she's going to mention it at all. But, she knows one thing for certain, she's going to be paying a lot closer attention to him and making sure her gets more sleep and more to eat, even if she has to stand there and force feed him herself.
Another thing troubling Margaret is that Leo is smoking again. He quit smoking after he got back from rehab. She's afraid if one old habit is back, others might also return. She wants to give him hell about the smoking, but he's gone though so much lately that she doesn't have the heart to scold him. Leo appears to be so bewildered and so vulnerable. She just can't make herself add to his anguish. She senses that something bad is going to happen, but she doesn't know what or how to stop it. All she can do is be there and hope that is enough for now.
Yesterday had been another stressful day for Leo. As always, he's trying to stage-manage an undisciplined White House through what he would say is a difficult time except he hasn't experienced an easy one yet.
The President is still pretty much befuddled since Zoey's kidnapping and Leo is still propping him up and trying like hell to get him back into the game. But, the President is still running away from his problems or still searching for himself, depending on how you look at it.
The first thing to hit Leo's desk that morning is the issue of two small countries that are fighting over a piece of rock, whose only inhabitants are goats. Another problem for Leo is that the new Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the Secretary of Defense are not playing well together.
The President is off in Oklahoma preoccupied with a killer tornado. Leo opposed CJ's plea that it would be good for the President to go survey the damage in Oklahoma from the tornados. Leo requested that CJ have him back in six hours, but it was soon evident that the President's compassion was overruling his good judgment, and they weren't going to be back any time soon.
A worried Leo has several crises back at the White House that need the President's immediate attention, but he has been getting nowhere with him on the phone. Leo spends the entire day putting out fires, dealing with upset Democratic leadership that are still livid with Josh's major screw up, tax cut issues with the Congress and so on and so on. Leo finally goes home sometime around three in the morning.
When Leo arrives to work this morning, Will meets him in the lobby hallway with news that the Vice-president is unhappy and that Leo needs to talk to him. Then Margaret joins them as the move past the bullpen. She informs him that the Chancellor isn't happy about having his meeting with the President moved back. When Leo opens the door to his office, he finds General Alexander there waiting for him with more bad news about the island. "Margaret," Leo bellows.
Margaret comes rushing into the room from her area, which is no small feat since she had just left Leo in the Oval corridor outside his office. "Get me CJ," Leo gruffly demands.
"Again," an exasperated Margaret asks and immediately gets the patented 'what the hell do you think' Leo look. She bobs her head and quickly disappears to make the call.
After the General leaves, Leo's walks behind his desk, stands there for a second and then looks off to the side. "I should have never gotten out of bed this morning," he sighs.
"Well, first of all, you have to go to bed, before you can, you know, actually get out of it," Margaret scolds, after entering his office without his notice and overhearing his flippant remark.
"Go do a job, would ya," he smirks.
"CJ on one," she says over her shoulder as she quickly leaves his office.
Soon after that, Leo disappears to the Situation Room and that's when Margaret had sat down at her desk and started thinking about the past few months. She knows that she has to get him to slow down and start taking better care of himself. She fidgets with things on her desk, waiting for Leo to return.
Leo comes rushing back to the office and the rest of his morning goes about the same. One thing after another keeps coming up, and he's constantly hollering for Margaret to get him the President. By lunchtime, he's so drained that he just stares at the food that Margaret's sat down in front him. He rubs his eyes and leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. He can't remember ever feeling this exhausted before. Maybe Margaret is right; maybe he does need to start getting more sleep. "Yeah, right," he breathes out; more sleep would imply that he was getting some to begin with.
Margaret walks into Leo's office and hopes to find him eating his lunch, but is surprised to find him resting his eyes. She walks over to the front of his desk. "Leo," she stops when he jumps in his chair. Leo must have been half-asleep already, because her voice startles him.
"Yeah," he mumbles.
"You don't have anything on your schedule until later this afternoon, so why don't you lay down and take a nap. You look so... tired, Leo," Margaret's voice tails off at the end.
He snaps his head up and gives her a pointed look. "I'm not tired or in kindergarten, so I don't need a nap," he gruffs between yawns as he rubs his eyes, looking every bit the part of a tired toddler.
Margaret can't keep a smile from her face, as she watches Leo make his own case against him. "Well, why don't you just lay down and rest for a few minutes instead of giving yourself whiplash in your chair," she softly smirks.
"Maybe," he yawns, as he watches her walk over and close the blinds on his windows. "I guess I am... a little tired," he relents.
"I promise to wake you in two hours," she says, walking over to turn off his desk light.
"You better not let me sleep longer than two hours this time," he stresses turning his eyes to meet hers. "Or there will be hell to pay."
"Leo," she smiles, staring at him still sitting at his desk. "Do you need me to help you find the couch?" She smirks with a wicked grin.
"I'm not that old yet," he grumps as he slowly gets up and reluctantly makes his way to the couch. He lies down, and a painful groan escapes his mouth.
Margaret follows Leo to the couch and notices a grimace of pain cross his face as he lies down. She grabs his Air Force blanket from his favorite chair, covers him up and gives him a gentle pat on his shoulder. "Sleep tight," she whispers, walking over to the remaining light in his office and turning it off.
"Thanks, Mom," Leo sarcastically grins as he relaxes deeper into the couch.
Margaret smiles back at him, slowly closing the door and leaving the room now in total darkness. In only a few short seconds, Leo drifts off to sleep thinking about how lucky he is to have 'his' Margaret.
For the next two hours, Margaret sits at her desk, catching up on work and guarding Leo's door. He had received a few phone calls but nothing important enough to wake him. 'He's had a rough couple of days, well weeks, actually months that have strung into years,' she quietly thinks to herself. Oh hell, he's had too many rough times for any normal person to withstand, she decides.
Margaret looks at her watch; it's been exactly two hours. She debates about letting him sleep a little longer, but decides it not worth getting Leo all riled up about letting him sleep too long. Plus he will never trust her again and she's hoping to work more naps into his busy schedule.
Margaret knocks on his office door and enters, carrying a cup of coffee. "Leo," she says, moving to his desk and turning on the desk lamp. "Leo," she repeats, walking over to his window and opening the blinds.
Leo slowly sits up and incoherently mumbles something. Margaret looks at him and is surprised to find that he actually looks worse than he did before he went to sleep. She moves closer to him. "Leo, what did you say? Are you okay?"
He repeats whatever he said before, but his words are slightly slurred. He puts a hand to his head and rubs it, like he is in pain. He gets up off the couch and sways. He takes a step forward and that's when it happens. He collapses.
Margaret tries to get to his side before he hit the floor, but she doesn't make it in time. "Leo!" She screams, watching in horror as his head slams onto the edge of the coffee table and then he falls the rest of the way to the floor.
Margaret rushes to his side and checks to see if he is still breathing. His breaths are shallow, and his pulse is racing. He has a huge gash on the side of his head and blood is pouring from it.
People come rushing into Leo's office after hearing Margaret's scream. Margaret looks up from Leo's still body, "Someone call an ambulance," she yells as she grabs his Air Force blanket and presses it to the side of his head, tying desperately to stop the bleeding.
A terrified and tearful Margaret sits beside Leo on the floor, pressing the blanket tightly against his wound with one hand and holding his hand with the other, while whispering, "Leo, it's going to be okay. Help is on the way."
Margaret keeps talking to Leo the whole time that she's waiting for the medics to arrive. She doesn't even realize what she's saying to him. She just keeps whispering in a soft calming voice over and over again the same things. Tying to reassure him and mostly herself that he's going to be okay.
When the medics arrive they start an IV, hook him up to oxygen and quickly load him into the awaiting ambulance. At the last second, Margaret remembers Leo's health proxy and shoves the paperwork into her purse. Margaret runs after the medics and jumps into the back of the ambulance without waiting to be invited. There's no way that Leo's making this trip alone.
Once they get to the hospital, they won't let Margaret go into the trauma room with Leo. She sits out in the waiting room for what seems like forever, staring at her blood soaked clothes. Finally, a young doctor comes out to the waiting room. "Mrs. McGarry?" He assumes.
"No, I'm his assistant," she blushes as she gets up and walks over to him. "He's divorced, and his daughter is out of the country," she informs him.
"I really need to speak with a family member," the young doctor persists, looking around the waiting room.
"Won't I do? I've..." an upset Margaret asks.
"I can't be discussing his case with just anybody. You're just his secretary," the doctor snidely interrupts and then he starts to leave the waiting room, but Margaret gets in his face and stops him.
"Excuse me, but I have worked for Leo McGarry for over thirteen years and..." she hesitates, trying to regain her composure with this young doctor. "I'm the closest thing to family that he has here right now, and I need to update the rest of his extended family, which by the way includes the President of the United States. So please tell me what's going on with him."
"I don't care who you know or work for, I still can't discuss Mr. McGarry's health with you without his consent," the young doctor informs her.
"But I..." a frustrated Margaret argues, and then it hits her. She has his health proxy paper work in her purse. She's been so worried about Leo, that she forgot she had it. She grabs the paperwork from her purses and shows it to the doctor.
"Why didn't you show me this to begin with?" An equally frustrated doctor asks, as he takes the paperwork and verifies that Margaret is the one who's entrusted with Leo's care.
"I'm sorry, but I've been a little bit upset every since witnessing the person that I..." Margaret stops herself; she almost admitted her deepest secret to this jackass doctor. "It was upsetting to see Mr. McGarry fall, and I guess I just wasn't thinking clearly."
"Well, this seems to be in order," the doctor says as he hands the paperwork back to Margaret. "We've ruled out a stroke or a heart attack. We believe the reason he became disoriented and passed out after he woke up is from a case of severe exhaustion. His blood pressure is low and he's very dehydrated. But, these aren't the reasons why he was still unconscious."
"He's still unconscious?" Margaret quickly looks at her watch. "It's been over three hours since he fell," she adds as she starts to wring her hands.
"That's not usual in cases like this. When he fell is when the real damage occurred. The wound to his head is more deep than long. It took two layers of sutures, a total of fifteen stitches to close it up."
Margaret takes a sudden intake of breath as she flinches at the sudden memory flash of Leo's head bouncing off the coffee table. "Is he going to be okay?"
"We'll know more after he wakes up. The impact from hitting the coffee table caused a hairline skull fracture and a concussion, the CT scan shows some slight swelling but the swelling could possibly worsen over the next seventy-two hours; he'd need to be monitored closely during this period of time for any changes in his condition. As far as the exhaustion, his body will get the rest and nutrition it needs while his brain heals."
The doctor goes on to describe the treatment that Leo has already received and will be getting over the next couple of days. Margaret just stands there bobbing her head and taking it all in, trying not to cry. She's almost in a daze when the doctor finally finishes.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to see," the doctor informs her.
"When can I see him?" Margaret asks.
"They are moving him to ICU right now. Visiting times are very restricted there. You can see him for fifteen minutes every hour at fifteen till the hour. He can only have one or two visitors at a time."
"Thank you," Margaret says as she moves out of his way. Margaret stands there for a few seconds and processes the information she's just received. The reluctant doctor had been very matter of fact, to Margaret, as he spelled out Leo's condition and treatment that he'll be receiving. It took ever being of her fiber to stand there and listen. She wants to rush to Leo's side and comfort him, even if he would have no idea that she is there.
Margaret finally gets a hold of herself and heads for the lobby. She has several phone calls to make.
Margaret debates on whom to call first. She finally decides to call the President. He's now is aboard Air Force One with CJ, and they'll be back in DC within the next two or three hours. The President has been AWOL in Oklahoma, but he is now finally coming home. The President was very upset when he found out about Leo and promised to come to the hospital as soon as he could.
Next, Margaret calls the First Lady. She'll probably get here before the President. 'What will I say to her when she arrives?' Margaret thinks to herself. She wants to berate the First Lady for how she hurt Leo, but Margaret knows that the First Lady is probably feeling very guilty about what had transpired between her and Leo. Their conversation is very strained, but Mrs. Bartlet does seem upset and concerned about Leo's status. She asks several medical questions that Margaret can't answer. The First Lady says she'll be there as soon as she can.
Her next call is to Josh. He has to stay at the White House and make sure that the world doesn't come to a complete stop. He's very sweet to Margaret on the phone and tells her that he'll be there as soon as he can and that he'll let the rest of the staff know about Leo.
Margaret stares at the phone receiver in her hand. Her last call is going to be the hardest and the most draining. Mallory is on vacation in Europe with her mother. She quickly calculates the time difference. It is late evening there; so Mallory is probably done sightseeing for the day and in her hotel room. She might already be in bed. She looks up the phone number in her PDA and slowly dials it.
It rings three times, before someone answers it. "Hello," answers a sleepy voice.
"Mallory," Margaret softly says, thankful that Leo's daughter answers the phone instead of his ex-wife.
"Margaret, what's wrong? Is Daddy okay?" Mallory demands, knowing that Margaret wouldn't be calling unless it was something really important or something bad has happened to her father.
"Mal... he's... he's in the hospital..." Margaret divulges.
"What happened?" Mallory interrupts as she throws the covers back and jumps out of the hotel bed.
"He was taking a nap and I umm... I woke him up, he seemed disoriented and he... he collapsed. When he fell, he hit his head on the coffee table."
"Margaret is he okay?" Mallory demands as she stretches the phone cord as far as it will go, so that she can grab her suitcase from the closet.
"He has some stitches, a hairline skull fracture and a concussion. He's still... unconscious. But, the doctors seem to think he'll be fine and should wake up within the next twenty-four hours. They have him in ICU, monitoring him, until he wakes up and his blood pressure comes back up. They say he collapsed from exhaustion." Margaret feels guilty about him being so fatigued; she thinks she should have taken better care of him.
"Margaret, I'm taking the first plane home." She has her suitcase on her bed, and rummaging through her drawers.
"Mallory, I really don't think your dad would want you to do that." Margaret turns and leans against the wall, rubbing her forehead with her free hand.
"I don't care what he'd like. I'm..." She stops and plops down on her bed and starts to cry.
"Mallory I know you love him and want to be with him, but why don't you give it twenty-four hours. If he isn't awake by then, well, then maybe you should come home, but he wouldn't want you ruining your vacation."
"I don't know. I want to be there for him. How can I enjoy my vacation knowing that Daddy's...?" She softly cries into the phone. She's been so worried about her father since Zoey's kidnapping. She just knows something's been bothering him for a while, but he keeps denying it.
"I know you want to be here for him, but there's really nothing you can do for him right now. I can only get in to see him for fifteen minutes every hour."
"Margaret, I don't need to tell you he's been through so much. He always holds everything inside. Has... he said anything to you?" Mallory nervously twists the phone cord. "He's not been the same since... Zoey's kidnapping."
"Mal, he hasn't talked to me or I doubt anyone about what happened to Zoey or anything else that's happened since then." Margaret looks up at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears from flowing from her eyes.
"I want to be with him," she says in an almost childlike voice.
"Mal, he wouldn't even know you were here right now and when he does wake up, he'll be upset and feel guilty, if you cut your vacation short because of him. You know how he is."
"I know, but... what if he..." Mallory stops, she can't even think of him not making it as a possibility.
"Mallory, he's going to be fine." Margaret isn't sure whom she's trying to convince. "He's going to wake up soon, and then he's just going to need lots of rest and believe me, he's going to get it now." She wipes the tears that refused to stay in her eyes.
"Yeah, I just bet he will. I'm sure you have a plan already," Mallory smiles a little at the fact that she knows that her father is in for it now. Margaret will be on his case more than ever now.
"Yes I do," Margaret just hopes she gets a chance for that and other things, too.
"Margaret, tell Daddy... tell him that I love him," Mallory softly requests.
"I will Mal and please try not to worry," Margaret shifts the phone to her other ear and sighs.
"I'll try, only because I know you're worrying enough for the both of us," Mallory teases her father's assistant and her friend.
"Has your dad been spreading rumors about me again," Margaret smirks and then softly laughs.
"Not rumors, just the plain truth," Mallory glances around her hotel room, making sure her mother is still out with her newest friend. She wonders what Howard, her mother's long time boyfriend, would think about her being out with another man. Maybe her mom isn't that serious about him after all. Howard was always around a lot when her father was out of town on the lecture circuit. He had been her father's law partner years ago. Mallory couldn't prove it, but she thinks they were might have been involved when her parents where still married. Mallory shakes her head at the thought and gets back to work on Margaret.
"Margaret... I umm... I know that you love him. I think its time you tell him." Mallory suggests.
"Well of course, I love your father," she laughs, biting her lip as she tries to keep things light.
"Margaret. That's not what I meant and you know it," Mallory hesitates and then decides to spell it out for her. "You're 'in love' with my father," Mallory whispers into the phone.
"Oh," Margaret breathes into the phone. She realizes there's no sense in trying to deny it, because Mallory would be the one person who would figure it out. "Well... it doesn't matter, he... he doesn't feel the same way and..."
"Yes he does," Mallory dares to tell her.
"Did he tell you that?" Margaret stands up straight and glances towards the ICU.
"No, but I can tell," Leo's daughter admits. She's suspected for some time now that her father is in love with his tall lanky assistant.
"How," she asks, lending back against the wall, brushing her fiery red hair out of her eyes.
"The same way that I knew that you were in love with him. It's in the way he looks at you. His eyes light up when you walk into a room or when he hears your name mentioned. I think he's cared for you deeply for a long time, but I think after the... divorce, he started to allow himself to see you in a different light." The younger woman confesses, as she lies back on her bed.
At first, Mallory had hoped her parents would get back together. But, she soon realized that was never going to happen. Her mother moved on quickly, too quickly if you ask her. Her mother loves her freedom and has dated several men since she divorced her father. She knows that her father feels terribly guilty about the divorce, and it killed him to find out she was dating so soon after their separation.
Mallory has always loved Margaret and knows that she would be a perfect fit for her father. She hates to admit it, but Margaret has always taken better care of him than her mother did, and she understands him better, too. Maybe Margaret would be able to pry that damn ring off his finger.
"Well, I think you're delusional. Leo could never fall for someone like me," Margaret shakes her head at the idea. She would give anything if it were true, but she knows it just a fairly tale dream. "He wouldn't think it was proper since I'm his assistant, plus I'm so much younger than him."
"I'm not, he has and what does age have to do with love? Do you know that you're in his will?" 'Ops,' Mallory thinks to her self. She really didn't mean for the last part to slip out.
"What?" Margaret asks.
"That's right," Mallory figures that the cats out of the bag, she might as well let her know all of it. "I'm seen the latest revision. You're getting a nice tidy little sum for someone he's not in love with," Mallory teases. She really wishes she could see Margaret's face right now.
"What is he thinking?" Margaret demands.
"He's thinking that he wants the person that he's in love with, taken care of, I imagine," Mallory suggests.
"Well, he has a lot of explaining to do when he wakes up," an incensed Margaret says, as she tries to pace the hall, not getting very far with the phone stuck in her ear.
"Margaret!" Mallory shouts into the phone, as she jumps up off the bed. "You can't tell him that you know," she begs. "I'm not even supposed to know."
"Okay," she agrees. "Mallory, I need to go. It's almost visiting time for the ICU. I'll call you after I know more or if anything changes."
"Okay. Should I tell my Mom?"
"Honey you do what you want," Margaret's glad that Mallory can't see the face she's making. Jenny McGarry hasn't been one of her favorite people for a long time now.
"I think Daddy would want her to know," she says.
"That's fine. Mal I really do need to go. I'll talk with you soon. Bye."
"Bye."
After Margaret hangs up the phone, she heads for Leo's room in the ICU. The doctor had tried to prepare her for what to expect and had given her a detailed list of the treatments that he would be receiving. But, she's still not ready for what she sees when she enters his room. "Oh... Leo," she gasps as she looks at him.
Leo looks so frail and small in his hospital gown. He's nearly as pale as the sheets. He's hooked up to several machines that are beeping and monitoring his vitals. He has two IV's, an oxygen mask, and they have inserted a feeding tube down his nose to provide him with Ensure for his poor nutritional status. His head had a large bandage on the side and there is some bruising on the same side of his face. The doctor had said that they had to shave a portion of the injured side of his head. 'Leo is going to hate this,' Margaret thinks as she continues to stare at him.
Margaret stands, for a long time, in the doorway to Leo's room. She's afraid to enter. She half expects him to bellow her name.
"Oh, what I wouldn't give if he would wake up and holler for me," she mutters under her breath.
Finally, Margaret regains her courage and walks over to the side of Leo's bed. She gently takes a hold his hand and she silently prays for him to regain consciousness.
Margaret hasn't been in the room for very long, when a nurse comes in. "You'll have to leave now," she informs Margaret.
"But... I just got..." she stutters.
"You can only be here fifteen minutes out of every hour, while he's in ICU," the nurse softly tells her. "You can come back in forty-five minutes."
Margaret loses all track of time and doesn't remember how many times she' been in and out of Leo's ICU room. While she sits in the waiting room, her mind is busy playing several scenarios over and over about what the future could hold. She wonders, 'if he appreciates that her whole world revolves around him? Does he have any idea what he means to me?'
Fear has kept Margaret from telling Leo the truth about how she feels. But after talking with Mallory, she wonders if maybe she should tell him. She's always loved Leo, but somewhere in the past couple of years, she fell in love with him.
During her next visit in his room, Margaret quietly moves to his bedside. Tears are falling freely and silently down her face as she brushes some hair off his forehead. She carefully bends over and places a gentle kiss on his cheek and then she bares her soul to him.
"Oh Leo, I love you. Please wake up. I need you to know how I feel." Her voice is full of love and concern. Her mind wonders, 'is it too late? Why didn't I say these things before this happened? All I can do now is wait'.
"I've been waiting for you for years. I guess I can wait a little longer," she whispers as she brushes her lips on his forehead and smoothes her hand down his chest.
Unbeknownst to Margaret a visitor is standing just outside the doorway and has witnessed this tender scene. Not wanting to interrupt, the person quietly backs out of the room and disappears down the hall.
TBC in Part 2
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