This is me doing everything in my power to avoid starting my 5 page Japanese paper. Mmm...avoiding. Anyway, this is one of my personal favorite chapters, and hopefully it'll be a little more..uplifting? than the last few.
Klutz82 - But? But she's dead, right? We'll see. I like getting into Zel's head and kicking stuff around.;)p
Gerao-A - I reveal nothing!
Seygram 13 - You're brilliant, you know? Dynast didn't
really have many options at that point, though, and I think he
was starting to lose it. Imagine years of planning screwed up by the
one thing you'd forgotten to take into account... What has really
happened to him, though? That remains to be seen. Thanks for your
amazingness as always. :)
Lyra Pelgina - Hi, welcome abroad! And AAH! What on earth
possessed you to do that? Your poor brain! Here, I give this to you as
a reward and thanks! Hope you like!
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Part XV- De Profundis (Out of the Depths)
"I must have retribution, or I shall destroy myself. And retribution not somewhere in the infinity of space and time, but here on earth, and so that I could see it myself."
- "The Brothers Karamazov," Dostoevsky
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How long had it been since the first time he'd laid eyes on her? Gods, it had to have been a lifetime ago.
Zel shook his head a little and almost smiled as he reached a hand that trembled fiercely out to rest on her hair. No, longer than that. They'd done and seen more than most people would in a hundred years.
How long had it been since the first time he'd heard her voice as more than just that of an annoying little princess? Ah...he didn't know. It wasn't something that could be consciously remembered, because it had been an unconscious decision.
Unconscious decisions seemed to work better for him than the ones he knowingly made.
Because when he was awake and thinking, he made people hurt.
He hurt them so badly that the gods looked down on him and took them away before he could make it better again.
They'd done that now.
He was kneeling in her blood. He could feel it seeping into his beige pants, spreading out across the fabric. He could smell it's sharp metallic odor, the scent of life and death.
Do you see what you've done? When you're awake and thinking, you make decisions like this!
But...but it had been the only decision he could have ever made. How long could he have let her live here with a Dark Lord before going completely insane that he'd abandoned her?
You see? There wasn't anything else I could have done...
Except to not have let it happen in the first place.
Too late.
His eyes burned, and sudden floods pushed forward to put the fires out. He didn't so much feel the tears sliding down his face as see them make gentle water stains as they landed on his thigh, and on the blue fabric that covered her shoulder. He sniffed, holding back his tears once, twice...and then they wouldn't obey and came out in a violent sob as his fingers combed through her dark hair. There wasn't any other way to inform the world of the intense, unquenchable sorrow that had consumed his body in such a short time.
His arms raised her from her crimson pool and crushed her close to him, head tucked under his chin where she would be safe and protected and...dead.
There weren't any words to bring her back, were there?
"Oh, gods, Amelia..."
His tears were all the more bitter when realization slowly dawned on him that although he'd tried to set it right, he hadn't been the one to avenge her. Xellos...Xellos had killed her as well. And Lina had taken his victory away from him. Lina had gotten to give Dynast the final blow.
And what had Zelgadis Graywords done to save Amelia?
Nothing, he'd done nothing.
Even the sense of retribution was denied him.
He could hear soft voices behind him. Gods, they must be pitying him. Damn them, they'd never understood. They'd never understood before, how could they expect to now?
Amelia's body rose and fell against him in rough patterns with his breathing. And though his knees were hurting, his arm cried out in agony, and her warm blood was endlessly dyeing every inch of his clothes, he wanted nothing more than to stay there and hold her forever.
"Zelgadis-san."
It was the voice of the man who shouldn't have been there. And as quickly as he'd decided he could never let go of her, Zel gently laid Amelia down and then whirled on Xellos Metallium, knocking him to the ground.
"YOU BASTARD!" He punched the Mazoku, the deep purple bruise vanishing quickly with his healing abilities, encouraging another strike, which Zel happily obliged. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING, TOUCHING HER?!"
"Zelgadis-san, wait a minute!"
"NO! GODDAMMIT, WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TAKE MY REVENGE AWAY FROM ME?!"
"ZEL, STOP!"
Gourry caught his arm as it came down for another strike and pulled his friend off the Mazoku.
"Gourry, let go of me before I hurt you too!"
"Try it and see what happens to you, Zel." Lina leaned down in front of him.
"Don't. Even. Speak. To. Me."he growled, and struggled against the hold. "Let me kill him for killing her."
"Zelgadis-san.."Xellos sat up, "I tried to tell you this before. You wouldn't have been able to kill her yourself."
"Why couldn't you let me try?!"
"I did let you try. You came very close, too, but my helping you was the only chance."
"I don't care! LET GO OF ME!"
"I'm not going to, Zel."
"Dammit Gourry! Don't you understand?! No, how could you? LET GO!" In truth, Zel could have easily broken the swordsman's hold, but the frantic sobbing returned with a vengeance and he simply sagged downward. "Don't you understand what you've taken away from me? Lina...It was supposed to be my hit...I was supposed to kill him..."
"I...I know, Zel."her voice was quiet. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry really doesn't help. It's never helped! I'M SORRY AND LOOK WHAT IT'S GOTTEN ME!" his hands clenched on his blood-stained pants. "Look what it's gotten me...Don't you even care that she's dead?"
"Of course I care!"Lina was aghast. "Do you think it's easy for me to stand here and see her over there?"
"Zel, you know that if we could bring her back..."
The chimera didn't answer, just shook his head as he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes.
"There is a way."
"You're a liar." Zel was quick to jump on Xellos's statement.
"I'm not lying, Zelgadis-san. There is a way. I can bring her back, but..."
"Why would you want to bring her back? What was she to you?"Zel pulled his hands away and fixed red eyes on his hated ally.
"I could ask you the same thing. You never seemed to know yourself."
Zel moved to stand up, and Gourry forced him back down.
"You're not helping, Xellos."
"I would be, if you'd give me the chance. Admittedly, this is for my own reasons as well, in that my mistress has given me standing orders to see that none of you come to harm, including our fair friend here." Picking up his staff, he walked over and crouched by the fallen girl, careful not to let her blood touch him. He studied her a moment, then spoke again. "What you should understand about what's happened here is that this was not Amelia's death."
"What the hell are you taking about?" Lina's voice was devoid of it's usual bite as she stared at the little princess.
"It may have been her body's death, but the person that is Amelia is still alive. You see..."he reached out and brushed a piece of black hair from her face. "In order to make her a Mazoku, Dynast used a very powerful spell called 'Soul Shatter', which in effect removes a person's soul from their body. And since your human soul is the thing that defines who and what you are, you can understand that this means Amelia Wil Tesla de Seyruun is not dead."
"So what does that mean?"Gourry asked.
"It means that if I have something of hers from her life before this one, I can call her soul back into her body, and bring her back."
"You...Zel, did you hear that?!"Lina nudged him.
"I heard it. I don't believe it."
"Zel! If you want her back, it's our only chance!"
Without looking up, Zel said "There'll be some kind of catch."
"Well...yes, there is."Xellos admitted. "I will be using a Mazoku spell, and it's one that I personally have never used. And...she won't be what she used to be. She can't be."
"So she'll be just as evil as she was now. Wonderful."
"I didn't say that. What I meant was that the spell should restore her to her former self as much as possible, but you can't go through something like that without being changed. They may be very minor changes. But the point is simply this." Lavender eyes that showed no sign of lying fixed themselves on Zel. "If you want her back you have to trust me and let me do this."
A moment to decide. Another conscious decision.
Let this one turn out better than the last...
"What have we got to lose."
"Excellent. Now, I need something of hers."
The sorceress and the swordsman each patted themselves down and found nothing.
"I don't have anything." the red-head shrugged.
"Neither do I...Hey, Zel! You have that necklace of hers, right?"
"It was a bracelet, and no, I don't have it. I told you back in Seyruun, I lost it."
"You don't have anything?" Xellos was clearly a little surprised. "Wait, what about this ring?"
"Her ring!" Lina perked up. "She's still got it?"
"Yes, right here, on her wedding finger. I know for a fact she had this in Seyruun."
"Then that's it!"
"No."
A pause.
"Zel, it's the only thing we-"
"No, it won't be that ring. That ring started it all."
"We don't have another choice!"
"I WON'T LET YOU USE THE RING THAT TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME TO BRING HER BACK!"
"Zel..." Lina grit her teeth and knelt in front of him, taking hold of both his shoulders. "It's the only chance we have. Listen to me!" He didn't answer, and she tried to shake him. "Listen to me, you idiot!"
"...fine. Do it."
Gourry looked up from his sullen comrade and nodded to Xellos.
"Do the spell."
The Mazoku nodded, and lifted Amelia's limp arm, sliding the ring off her finger.
"Stand back."
Xellos looked down at the body on the floor. He'd had only the barest instruction of this spell from his mistress, and that had been centuries ago. He sighed, and for a moment, regretted that he couldn't disobey her orders to make sure all the Slayers came out of this alive. Nevertheless, he was sure she had greater purpose to this, and he wasn't going to go against her plans.
Closing the ring in his right hand, he concentrated on the feeble energy it produced, conjuring images from when he'd traveled with the girl...anything, even the "Life is Wonderful" song. The call for her soul went out across time and space, stretching across the boundaries of eternity, seeking for a lost princess.
"Where are you..."he murmured, reaching farther, to the darker depths of the universe where the damned played.
For a moment, he was sure his skills as the greatest of the Mazoku priests had failed him, and then a small voice very far away said "here." Grasping the essence of the voice, Xellos smiled the slightest bit, and as the ring began to warm in his hand, he set down a knee and leaned over the princess, pressing the diamond band against the hole he'd made in her chest.
Of course, Lina, Gourry, and Zel could see none of what transpired besides the violet-haired priest suddenly kneeling down. They couldn't even hear the words he was whispering, but from the way the red jewel in his staff glowed, it was clear something was going on.
And then it seemed for an instant as if all the air had been sucked from the room. The three gagged and tugged at their collars, then forgot how to move as they witnessed a flash of light over the corpse that was brighter than a thousand suns, and yet darker than the blackest pitch.
When it subsided, they found they could breathe again, and Xellos raised himself unsteadily to his feet.
"Reclamation."he said. "I've brought her back."
"You..."
Although his footing was still unsure, Xellos bent down and cradled the girl in his arms. She was still limp, but the barest tint of color was coming back to her cheeks.
"I've never used that spell, but it took hold. I had a hard time finding her- Dynast's spell worked exactly the way it was meant to. But she's back."
Zel was on his feet in a moment, bounding over to Xellos and reaching for Amelia. The Mazoku side-stepped the chimera and shifted the weight he held.
"I can't let you have her yet. She's not well in the least, and she needs to get out of here. I'll take her back to the city where you rented your boat."
"NO! Give her to me!"
"Don't be unreasonable!" Xellos laughed. "If I gave her to you, she'd die. She needs to be out of here and safely in a bed, and you can't give her that."
"And you will?" he scoffed. "I don't believe that!"
"Zelgadis-san, I have assured you that I won't let any harm come to her. Now calm down and let me take her."
"Then...then let me go with you!"
"I can't take two people at the same time.You'll just have to wait. Don't worry, she'll be in good hands."
And saying nothing more, he faded out.
"DAMN YOU!" Zel screamed, punching the ground where Xellos had stood.
He scrubbed at his face viciously -stupid tears, why did they keep coming back?- and was rewarded with a powerful sting from the cut on his face. He held his hand over it, and half-heartedly did a healing spell, but the pain didn't subside.
"Zel, you'd better go."
Gourry's gentle voice didn't move him in the least. He'd been denied his right again.
"Zel, come on."
"What is wrong with you?" Lina tugged on his arm. "We won her back! If you want to see her, you've gotta go!"
"It doesn't matter, Lina. Nothing I do matters. That stupid ring saved her, and I don't even get to be the one to take her out of here. If we've won, why do I feel like I lost? Don't you think it was my right to make this all better?"
The look in his eyes made Lina swallow hard to keep from weeping herself. She tried to speak, but when she couldn't, she simply dropped down beside him, hugging his arm.
But Gourry would not be deterred.
"It was your right, Zel. Yeah, you should have been the one to save her, and have the last hit and everything. But you didn't, and there isn't anything we can do to change the past. However, you do have one more, very, very vital role to play in this- the most important part of all, which only you can do.
"You have to be the first one she sees when she wakes up. You have to be next to her, and you have to tell her what you've figured out. You have to do that. And to do it, you have to leave now. Just use that spell and fly."
"Are you crazy?" his lover turned to him. "He can't possibly Ray-Wing himself over two weeks worth of ocean."
Gourry shrugged.
"He has to try."
Lina looked back at Zel, noticing his wounds for the first time.
"Gourry, he can't. He got hit with that sword."
"So what?"
"So it's a Mazoku sword, and if it even managed to cut him, it's serious. Zel, you need some white healing, fast."
"I tried doing it myself. It didn't work."
"Then that's even more of a reason why he has to go." Gourry took his injured arm, motioning Lina around to the other. Together, they lifted him up. "Come on, Zel, you have to do it."
And then...he completely surprised them by flashing a very small and weak, but perceptible smile.
"Did I ever say I wasn't going to?"
Feeling more than relieved, his friends let go of him, and the moment their contact ceased, the shamanist was off, running and skidding out of the hall, heading for the balcony where they'd come in.
Alone, Lina and Gourry looked at each other.
"You know he's going to kill himself getting there."
"Nah. He'll stay alive just for her. You know it."
Lina smiled and walked into her fiancee's embrace again.
"Let's get back to Dhitney's ship and sleep for a month."
"Sounds like a great idea."