Summary: A very Sara centered fanfic. A very bad day for her and a nasty case make her explode!I was thinking about a slap scene between her and Grissom (5th Season Spoilers thread) and so I've started to write with the ending already in mind…I had a shock when I watched the Nesting Dolls promo… I almost fainted!Props to my friend M. who gave me the idea to the opening part. You rule girl!!

Spoilers: General season 5/ Nesting Dolls??
Disclaimer: I do NOT own CSI, nor its characters. If I did I wouldn't be writing for free…I would be sipping daiquiris in some Caribbean resort.

Feedback: Please. It is very important!!
Advisory: First fic in English. Bear with me...

Hit and Run

She was wearing a very glamorous strapless chiffon black dress. It was the shortest and tightest thing she had ever worn, but she liked it. She was also surprised at herself for wearing a pair of jeweled stilettos and more so on the fact that it felt like she had walked on them all of her life. Her meticulous curled hair fell on top of her shoulders and the shinny touch of gloss on her lips gave her the classy look of a movie star. "Nothing can go wrong tonight Sara Sidle" she thought as she looked at the elevator's mirror.

The room looked familiar when she first walked in. Her heart started to beat faster as she made her way through the various groups of guests, unknown faces, laughing and cheering, some even staring at her. She continued undisturbed absorbed by the meticulous décor, the beautiful crystal chandeliers and all the sumptuous flower arrangements. In the corner a jazz band was playing a catchy tune she knew, but her mind was too lost for her to remember its name. She calmly grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the many waiters standing in a statuesque like manner and headed to one of the tables. She spotted Catherine and Warrick standing there, getting ready to sit and prepared herself to greet them, but something was wrong… The room got gradually darker and colder, making her shiver. Somehow still walking to the table she recognized two familiar shadows…they were kissing….Then, all of a sudden she stopped breathing. Her hands began to sweat; her heart was pounding on her chest, beating faster than ever, her mouth was drying and no word would come out… she was paralyzed. Nick and Greg were stunned looking at her from their seats. All the music stopped. Everyone in the room began whispering and looking at her. By then tears were streaming from her face, but she remained there unmoved. Then…he rose from his seat and turned around. Grissom was still holding Sofia's hand. She had her head on his shoulder. "Why's that look on your face? You didn't think I loved you, now, did you?" Those words were the final blow as she felt all of her body wanting to collapse. Around her laughter erupted. Greg, Brass, Nick, Catherine, even Grissom, they all laughed and pointed at her...

"I'm going to faint" were her last thoughts as all her memories started to become foggy and distant…

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She woke up still gasping for air, wrapped herself yet again in that cold sweat she dreaded so much. "Really, can't I have one peaceful hour of sleep?" complained Sara while looking at her watch. It was still too early to go to work, but there was no way she could go to sleep after a dream like that. "A shower and I'm out. I'll eat something at the Go Raw Café. I can't stay here much longer. I need to catch some air!" An hour later she was gone.

Sara was in an exceptional bad mood. Besides everything seemed to be going wrong: she spilled coffee on her jeans, forcing her to go home and change and got a flat tire while driving to the lab…almost arriving late to work! That last part was what got everyone talking, since Sara Sidle, "workaholic nº2" (Grissom was nº 1) was always there before the shift even started. No, that was not a good night. And was about to go even worse.

"Hey, Sara is everything alright? Grissom has been looking for you." – Greg said that last sentence with a forced seriousness that didn't match his relaxed looks, and the fact that he strangely had some paper confetti's all over his hair wasn't helping. Still Sara seemed not to notice it.

"I'm just fine. What does he want? He could have called me you know." – She continued to walk to the locker room.

"Well, that's the problem. He did. He's been on the phone for almost half an hour. Did you turn your cell phone out? Ohhh, you were with someone… care to tell Greggo?" – He flirted.

"Shit! – Greg starred shocked at her, while she took her hands to her pockets and purse – I left my phone at my apartment!! It must have been when I went to change… Could this be happening? God!! Look Greg, tell Grissom I'll be right there. – She sighed.

"Sure. So…you…a…went home to change, heh?"

"Greg…. Let me give you an advice. – she walked to him and placed her hands in his shoulders – Do not piss me off today."

"Message received. Yikes!"

As Greg walked away she started thinking what Grissom would say to her. The day was going bad enough already, now the only comforting though on her mind was drowning herself on her work. "Screw Grissom! I'm always on time, I do extra hours, I bust my ass off every day and still he expects me to be here whenever he feels like? I'm not his puppet and I swear to go I'll go ballistics if he even gives me one line of "the speech"!!" This was no normal Sara, and worse thoughts run through her mind "I can kill one of his tarantulas…burn some ants…frie some cockroaches…he'd never know…he'd blame Hodges." She laughed at images of little burning bugs, and at the face he would make once he saw his dismembered spiders. That smile was what led him wrong. Grissom was standing outside the locker room and got the incorrect message. Later he would regret that.

"Greg told me you were here. He also told me you forgot your cell phone. You do now you have to meet Brass in half an hour to question the Johnson's murder suspect?" – He was trying hard to seem emotionless.

"Umm…yeah, I was told. I'm just…I was just going. I stopped by to review some data, pick some papers. Look Grissom…I'm really sorry. I've been having a very stressing…" – He didn't let her finish.

"You don't owe me an explanation Sara. I only called you because you seemed very devoted to this case. I… got concerned about…you're never late… I assumed something was wrong. My fault." – Grissom paused every time he spoke a word. He sounded and looked very hurt. Before she could even answer his assumptions he was gone. She stood there a couple of seconds making sense of it all. Confused, frustrated and even angrier she picked up her stuff and left.

Brass was standing outside the interrogation room when she arrived. He gave her a bored look and whispered as she approached him: "The guy's going to talk. His lawyer's in there with him, and they made a deal with the D.A,, so no funny stuff. I mean it Sara!" he then opened the door letting Sara enter first. They both sat in front of the suspect. His name was Anthony Wilson a 28 year old book editor, very blond and with a pair of catlike green eyes that made Sara feel very uncomfortable.

"Well, hello Ms. Sidle. My favorite CSI… – he paused – you look pale today. Not getting enough sleep?" – Sara closed her fist instinctively.

"Hey Mr. Brown, you better tell your client to stop harassing my colleague again, or this ends here!" – Brass got up and menacingly faced Anthony, but he remained unimpressed and kept smiling at Sara.

"It's okay Brass. Let's just move on here – she was anxious to get out of there. She had already been close to hit him when she had to take his DNA. He provoked her in a disgusting manner. – Mr. Wilson we found skin cells with your DNA in Angelina's fingernails, which places you in the crime scene. We also found a condom with your semen in the victim's trashcan…." – she couldn't finish.

"Yes, we had sex." – He was still smiling at Sara.

"Sex? You raped her. She had several bruises on her arms, hands and neck!!" – She raised her tone almost without knowing.

"She liked it rough, you know. Besides she was the one who planned it all. The dinner, the wine…her apartment. You see Ms. Sidle, she was my boss and I was her little protégé…And we played this …this, let's say … game: she dominated me at the office, I dominated her sexually…and between you and me – he got closer to Sara and whispered – she loved it! We made videos, took pictures… you saw it all. She was a party b….."

"Hold it there big boy! I bet you didn't like to be her trained dog, every day at work, Tony. – Brass pulled a chair and sat closer to him. – I bet… you felt very frustrated, no, let me rephrase that… you were mad as hell that she promoted another guy and not you, and let it get out of hand, maybe a bit rougher than usual."

"Perhaps a bit…but she never complained. On the contrary…she seemed to be enjoying it. So much she begged me to press her against the sofa…and I did it….then… – he stopped smiling for the first time – we were reaching the climax…I never noticed she had stopped breathing."

Sara was fuming. Her nails were now fiercely carving the palm of her left hand. Seeing the disapproval look on Brass's eyes she forced herself to take several deep breaths and exhale smoothly and methodically, much like in the way she learned to do thanks to her new Buddhist meditation book by Kamalashila. It worked to some extent but it failed to numb her. And that was what she wanted: a detached sort of feeling in a Gil Grissom way. Yes, just like that. She wanted to experience that anaesthetic manner he so scientifically displayed…Again and again. Feel nothing. And now she was almost at that point basically not caring at all at what Brass and Wilson's lawyer were discussing. She kept starring at Anthony…and he, off course, noticed her sharp bust distant look right away. He then acted in a way that for some reason woke Sara from her sleep: he slowly tilted his head to the left in an almost defying style, raised his eyebrow, making his green eyes shine like two bright emeralds, and brought back his devilish and flirtatious smile. Sara knew right then, not that she ever had much of a doubt, that he had murdered Angelina.

"You lying son of a bitch!!" – She screamed at the same time she pushed her chair back and jumped towards him getting ready to punch his face only to be stopped by Brass at that same moment. He immediately pulled her back ant took her out of the room.

"I told you Sara! And you promised you wouldn't do this again! It's my job to push his buttons, you just sit there, present the evidence and ask questions, that's it!! You know what this means, young lady, don't you? – he took a deep breath and lowered his voice – God Sara, I know how you feel but you've done your job, it's up to the D.A and the courtroom now! So let me finish this and just leave!"

"He killed her Brass. Not as an accident but as plain murder! I know it and so do you...Hum….Funny, – she bit her lip and closed her eyes trying hard not to cry – Grissom always says that the evidence doesn't lie. But sometimes… it doesn't tell us the whole story…" – Walking away from Brass she realized then, more than ever, that she would never be like him, Grissom. She could read all the Zen books in the word and it wouldn't help. There weren't enough painkillers around to sedate her. The only person who could help her was both the cure and the disease.

Sara drove across town for some time before returning to the lab. She knew Brass would talk to Grissom about what happened, like on that time after she tried to bust on a suspect with her gun, and she was trying to find the courage to face him. And then doing it without screaming at him. Right now she was better all by herself. "Why do I feel such a fool? Why do I fear him so much? He made it impossible for me to love somebody else…I don't want to be with no one else… I hate what he did to me…" – she kept repeating all those words and they started losing meaning. In the end she didn't know who she was talking about anyway. Feeling empty, Sara cleansed her tears with her sleeve not noticing she had parked the car unconsciously side to Grissom's.

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The Las Vegas Crime Lab was having one of the calmest nights Sara had seen for a while. The only thing breaking an almost silent atmosphere was the laughter that emanated from the break room, "probably Greg and Sofia" – she thought. What she didn't know or, due to the chaotic day, failed to remember, was that it was Greg's birthday and both swing and night shifts were there to throw a little celebration. Unaware of such events Sara walked in to an empty locker room and decided it was better to confront Grissom first and not wait for him to do it.

She went straight to his office but immediately saw him leave it and just picked up his pace as he started going in the break room's direction. He was holding a wrapped package under his arm and as she called him he turned around and stopped. He gave her an instant tender smile that on normal days would have made her feel in heaven, but she had her eyes on the glossy blue paper of the object he was grabbing. It was Greg's present, but she didn't know that and foolishly assumed it was to Sofia… she had listened her laugh early on and that was enough for her mind to start making a serious of fast and jealous connections. Her heart started to beat faster and her stomach was up in her throat by then.

"Grissom, I think we need to talk."

"Sara I told you that you had nothing to explain to me. You have your life….I respect that. You forgot your phone but it's not..." – his tone of voice was in "sweet 'n' low" mode.

"No, it's not about that Grissom…It's about what happened with the suspect tonight…I bet Brass overreacted as usual, but I'm fine….the guy just kept…"

"What are you talking about? Brass didn't tell me anything! What, did something happen?" – He seemed genuinely worried, sorry, concerned…

"Uh…no…. I just… I may have been a bit impulsive again. – She was trying a fake smile on him. As he didn't smile back she toned it down – He tried to intimidate me, he harassed me, he kept lying about… I lost it for a moment. But Brass stayed and he…"

"Again Sara? You said those same lines right after the first time you were with the guy! You were close to hit him if it wasn't for Sofia!! I now I shouldn't have let…." – He was reaching for his cell phone started walking and stopped looking at Sara, failing to see the stare of shock in her eyes. She followed him and pulled his jacket, making him once again turn.

"He was grabbing me!! Sofia just stood there and did nothing! The guy raped and murdered a woman; still it seems, in every one's opinion that I'm the one who's the criminal!" – She was talking louder than usual and all the anger she felt was quickly unfolding.

"You're always playing victim!" – The minute he said this he regretted it. Too late.

"I can't believe you're saying that to me…. I just can't….How can you... – she was struggling not to swear, not to tell him to… - What do you know about my life, Gil? – he froze when she called him by his first name, not since San Francisco had she done that. – Maybe I was a victim once. Maybe I know how it really feels. Maybe it's not just empathy, remember Gil?"

"I… didn't mean to say that…I…" – he was trying to speak, but she had let him once again feeling stupid and inadequate. His eyes met hers but he found no warmth in them. She looked tired, stunned and angrier than he had ever seen her.

"What? First you try to call me to tell me to do my job because you always treat me like a…a…. – that word, that word Wilson had used was burning her lips – protégé… someone you think will always be there at your call, then you…"

"I'm your boss Sara. And you have certain obligations to your work…And so do I. That's all I… "– he tried to divert the subject as always. He though she was seeing someone. And as usual he doesn't respond well over jealousy. Gil Grissom is a strange, strange man that may ask you to have a life, but then resent the fact that you actually follow his advice and, do decide to do have one where he his not included.

"Are you listening to what I'm saying at all?? Do I need to threaten to hit you too Grissom, so you can actually understand what I'm telling you? – Sara raised her hand but not in a menacing way, so she was surprised to see some unease in his eyes. At that moment she realized he was looking over her shoulder…becoming paler by the second, but she once again looked at the present in his hands and felt her whole body give in. She had no more strength in her to hold back the tears. One by one they fell from her eyes. It was painful for her to imagine him wanting to be with someone else and even more being someone from the lab. That was always what had kept them apart: his lab. To think he was even considering it with Sofia… was devastating.

Grissom was still looking at an empty space across the corridor…. He began to mutter some words almost mechanically.

"Sara we shouldn't be having this conversation in here. We'll talk later in my office…or maybe…I…not here. Now I have a gift to….to…. – that was when he saw she was crying. His whole face changed and now the astonished eyes were his for a change– Sara?

No one was expecting what came next. Neither was Sara, but that impulse took over her and … Right in front of Nick, Greg, Sofia, Warrick, Catherine even Hodges and Mia, who were standing across the hall facing Grissom. Cath was holding a birthday cake and had her jaw almost on the icing, Greg wasn't sure if he should laugh but Nick had covered his mouth with his hand just in case; but every one else was pretty much baffled! Sara had off course no idea they were there, maybe if she did she wouldn't have done it, but she did it.

She had slapped him.

A very clean slap, mind you! A classy one too, much like in those old noir movies Sara liked.

When Sara realized that she had spectators she just took that same right hand she had used to slap him and gently placed it in her eyes, covering in shame. Now feeling, besides hurt, also embarrassed she just ran from there.

Grissom was in such a state of shock he stood there for a minute not knowing what had hit him, literally. He then walked towards the audience very much like a sleepwalker would – without making any sort of eye contact – and placed the square package in the break room table. As he was about to leave Catherine approached him.

""I can't say you weren't asking for it Gil. God knows I wanted to sometimes!" – She said this still whispering.

"Cath. Shut up." – He managed to say this also in a very low tone, making Catherine the only one still having an open mouth.

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Sara drove straight home. She just wanted to get some good hours of sleep and forget it all. Tomorrow she would think about was she was going to do, how she was going to solve all of this. Trying not to think about all of it too much, she poured on a mug some hot chamomile tea, and had just slipped into some pj pants and a shirt when he knocked. He called her name in a tender tone… She took a deep breath and opened the door.

They stared at each other for quite long time until he apologized. And then so did she. Still they kept starring because … when their eyes meet they need no words. And at that moment that was all they wanted: silence.

And then they were gone.