Chapter Nine
Beast led me down to the med lab. By then, I had somewhat come out of my shocked stupor and didn't protest when Beast told me to lay Remy down on the examining table. He told me to step outside to wait but I couldn't quite bring myself to leave the room.
"Mr. Alvers, we will take good care of Gambit and there is nothing for you to do here. If you would wait in the hall, I will give you news as soon as I have it."
Beast turned back to Remy and began to work the trench coat and shirt off him. Jean and Kitty walked into the room behind me. Kitty took my arm and began to lead me out of the room. She said something to me but I'm not sure what. The next thing I knew, Kitty and I were standing in the hall and Jean had left.
"Lance are you, like, okay?" She sounded worried and I could see she was looking me over. I blinked at her but didn't answer. Why was she looking at me like she was afraid? I raised a hand to run through my hair, it was still shaking but that wasn't what caught my attention. It was covered in blood. My clothes were little better off. "Lance what happened?" Kitty broke through my thoughts again.
"I - " I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell her the truth, that we had gotten caught breaking and entering. I didn't want to talk anyway. "I need a shower." I had to get the blood off. It was nauseating and I thought I'd throw up at any moment.
"Sure. Just. follow me. I'm sure someone will lend you some clothes." I nodded numbly at her and followed as she led me back upstairs. I kept my mind blank the whole way. Once there, I left Kitty in the hall and, stripping, quickly got myself into the shower.
I cringed as the water that ran over my hands turned pink from the blood. There had been so much of it. How could anyone survive losing that much blood?
I closed my eyes and shut the thoughts out. There was no point in dwelling on something you couldn't change. I stepped out of the shower and stood for a moment in front of the mirror. I looked worn out and terrified. I felt even worse. There was a light tapping at the door and, wrapping a towel around my waist, I answered it.
Kitty was on the other side, holding a stack of clean clothes. I leaned over to take them from her, mumbling a thank you. She blushed at me but I ignored it, retreating back into the bathroom.
When I came out, she was still there, had obviously been waiting for me. I glared tiredly at her. I didn't want to talk to these people; I didn't want to talk to anyone. She cringed at my look but I couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for it. Couldn't she just leave me alone?
Apparently, the look wasn't enough as she still tagged along behind me. "Look Kitty. I'd kinda like to be alone right now, okay?" She flinched at my tone, which was a lot harsher than I had meant, and nodded her head.
"Sure, Lance." She turned and walked away. I could tell that she was angry. What did she expect? That I would forget that there was a teammate dying down in the med lab and shower her with attention? Now, I cringed myself. She only wanted to help but I was pushing her away. Just like I pushed everyone away. No wonder I never managed to get close to anybody. However, if I never got close, I could never get hurt. I thought I had learned that by now but I had let myself get close to Remy. Now I was being hurt again.
I headed for the med lab, hoping that there was some news already and ran into Summers coming off the elevator. He put a hand on my shoulder to stop me from going in.
"You can't go down to the lower levels without an escort." He was trying to sound sympathetic but all it did was grate on my nerves.
"Fuck off, Summers!" I pushed him away and stepped into the elevator.
"I'll take you down myself if you want, otherwise you'll have to stay up here."
"Well wouldn't that be great! Why don't you just hold my hand to make sure I make it all right? I'm not gonna touch any of your precious X-Men crap! So like I said before, fuck off!" I turned back for the elevator.
"Alvers, you can't-!" I spun around and decked him right in the jaw. He fell back and glared at me.
"I will do what I want, Summers." He didn't get a chance to reply as the elevators doors shut and took me down.
#
When I reached the hall outside the med lab, it was still and empty, just like when I had left it. That silence that seemed to be haunting me ever since this started was back again.
Looking quickly around, I spotted the waiting room directly across from the med lab and stepped into it, settling down in one of the chairs to wait. It wasn't like I could do much of anything else.
No one followed me for which I was grateful. I didn't need to put up with any of the X-geeks pretending to be sympathetic. The silence was getting oppressive though, and I began to wish that I hadn't snapped at Kitty. Anything to take my mind off of Remy.
It was my fault that Remy was hurt. It never would have happened if he hadn't been trying to protect me. I should have listened to him and kept running or, better yet, I should have never come on the mission in the first place. Well now he would know better than to take me next time. If there was a next time, Remy had to live for that to happen.
I hadn't even noticed the passing of time and startled slightly when Beast walked into the waiting room. Two hours had gone by. He smiled tiredly at me and I could already feel myself relaxing.
"Gambit is stable for now, he did lose a lot of blood but it is my belief that he shall recover perfectly fine." I could finally let myself relax and slumped back in the chair with an audible sigh of relief. Beast smiled down at me. "You can go in and see him if you wish. He is still asleep though, and will be for some time yet."
I nodded and got to my feet, my legs feeling like rubber, now that all the adrenaline had left me, and I realized just how weary I was. It must have been early morning by now; wouldn't surprise me if the sun was already up, though that thought didn't do anything to lighten my mood. When the sun comes up all the bad stuff from the night is supposed to go away right? At least that's how it happens in so many of the fairy tales; the sun just chases it all away. Doesn't happen like that in real life, though, nothing is ever that easy.
I made my way into the med lab, Beast walking along behind me, but he went into his office, wanting to leave me alone with Remy I suppose. I found a chair in one of the corners and pulled it over to Remy's bedside. I didn't think that my legs were going to support me for much longer anyway, and took a seat.
I watched him. Steady breathing, wires stuck onto him, chest bandaged and the heart monitor beeping steadily next to him. I wanted to cry. I think I would have if I hadn't been so embarrassed by the prospect. So, I watched him, didn't say anything. What would I have said anyway? Remy in the two or whatever months that you've been leading us, you've turned into the first real friend I've ever had and I'm not ready to lose that yet so you had damn well better wake up? Right. He wouldn't have been able to hear me anyway. Besides, while I can say that fine in my head, I would never be able to lower my defenses enough to say it out loud.
He wouldn't want to hear it anyway. It's my fault that he's in this mess. I should have listened to him and kept running, then we both would have got away just fine. Or the bullet would have hit me instead. Not that anyone would have cared I'm sure. He'd wake up and tell me to go straight to hell. But he'd have to actually be awake to do that. If only he would just wake up, he could beat the crap out of me and I'd be okay with that because at least he would be alive. At the moment, that was all that mattered, all I wanted. So, I continued to watch.