Yeah yeah, I know…long time and no updates…for anything. But I seem to have fallen out of inspiration. Hopefully I will soon fall back in…
Destiny's Light: Pietro/Pyro? I've read one of those actually. You won't be seeing that in this fic though I'm afraid. Perhaps I will take a shot at writing one, 'cause it could be interesting, but not till I've finished what I've already started. Merci, though!
Chapter 10
It was hours later, I was half asleep slumped over in my chair, when something seemed to wake me. It took me a few minutes before I realized that the aroma of food was wafting through the med lab, bringing me back to full wakefulness and making me realize just how hungry I was. Opening my eyes I saw Beast standing in front of me, holding a tray laden with breakfast foods. He smiled at me but by then I had already turned my head to the side only to find myself looking at a still motionless Remy. I could feel myself deflate, like I had thought that everything would be okay when I woke up, it would all turn out to be some insane dream. But Beast was still in front of me, smiling sadly, I was still in the X-Men's med lab and Remy was still unconscious on the bed next to me. I blinked down at my feet dejectedly for a moment.
"Are you hungry? I brought down some breakfast for you." Beast's voice broke through my brooding. I looked up at him gratefully.
"Yeah, thanks."
He nodded and handed the tray to me. "You are most welcome, I didn't think that you'd want to go up and have breakfast with the others." I smiled sardonically at him, what an understatement. Ignoring the food for a moment, I looked over at Remy.
"Why doesn't he wake up?" I couldn't stop the worry from showing in my voice.
"He is simply recovering from the trauma he's experienced. Give it time, Lance, he will be fine."
I nodded and pretended to return my attention to eating. He could tell me over and over that Remy would wake up, that things would turn out right but I just couldn't make myself believe it. Not until Remy woke up and told me for himself that he was fine. Beast excused himself and left the med lab, going back upstairs to join the others for breakfast. I was thankful to be left alone again.
Finishing my meal and realizing that I hadn't even really tasted it, I set the tray down and turned back to Remy. Maybe talking to him would make him wake up; it always seemed to work in the movies.
"Hey Remy…" I took a deep breath and looked around as if someone might be listening. Talking to sleeping people is not as easy as it seems, I felt like a complete idiot. I moved a bit closer and tried again.
"Remy… I don't understand. Why did you push me out of the way? Why am I worth any of the pain? I don't understand any of the things you've done for me, for any of us, since you came. I don't understand why you think we could ever be something, I don't understand why you care so much or why you seem to think that we deserve any of the trust you've given us. I need you to wake up Remy. I need you to answer, but you need to be awake to do that."
There was no reply other than the steady beating of the heart monitor. I sighed. I hadn't actually been expecting him to wake up had I? I slumped back into the chair. I didn't even realize when, a few minutes later, I started to fall asleep. That is until I was woken again, some time later, by a loud thump. Jerking myself awake I looked over at Remy's bed only to find it empty and Remy standing defensively next to it. Actually it was more like he was swaying next to it, his eyes glazed and clearly not knowing where he was.
Standing slowly and locking eyes with him, I began to make my way around to the other side of the bed where he stood. "Remy?"
Recognition came then and he seemed to deflate, relaxing and letting himself crumple to the floor. I just barely made it in time to catch him before he hit. Calling over my shoulder to Hank, I lifted him back up onto the bed. He didn't have anything to say so I figured that he must have been out again. Once I had him settled Beast came in and, seeing Remy, hurried over and began checking him for any injuries.
"What happened?"
I shrugged. "He woke up and freaked out. I don't think he knows where he is."
Beast nodded as he reinserted the IV. "It's not uncommon for patients to wake up confused after something like this. Watch him when he wakes again and make sure that he doesn't hurt himself." I nodded and after Beast was sure that everything was back in order he left the room, heading back to his office. I took a seat next to Remy again and waited.
This time I didn't have to wait all that long. Not daring to sleep after what had happened last time, I waited an hour looking for any signs of his waking before he finally did. He groaned softly and carefully opened his eyes; the lights had been dimmed for him by Beast some time ago. I tried to stay calm and leaned forward slightly. Calming myself down wasn't so easy though, my heart was hammering once again. What would happen once Remy woke? I knew the answer though, he'd despise me, tell me to get the hell away from him. It almost made me want to flee the room, I didn't want to hear my fears confirmed, but I stayed because whatever he said would be exactly what I deserved.
"Remy?"
He turned his head slightly towards me. "Lance…" he sounded relieved.
"Are… are you okay?" Stupid thing to ask but I had to say something and what else was there?
He seemed to ignore me and look around, frown marring his forehead. "Where are we?"
"You were shot, I didn't know where else to go so I took you to the X-Men." My concern must have shown, he turned his head back to me, frown still in place. He didn't say anything and after a moment I had to break the eye contact. He sighed and shifted on the bed slightly. We sat in silence, me worrying on my lower lip and him just laying there.
Why didn't he say anything? After what happened maybe I wasn't even worth speaking to. I would have preferred it if he had started to yell at me, maybe he was just preparing the best way to tell me to go to hell. Anything would have been better than the silence. Looking around the lab I idly thought that I really should call Beast and tell him that Remy was awake. I didn't though, there was so much to say to Remy and I didn't want Beast to be there. Only problem was figuring out how to start. The silence soon became too uncomfortable though and I had to say something to break it.
"I'm sorry…"
He looked over at me, frown even deeper now as though he were truly confused as to why I was apologizing. "For what?"
"For… this… For getting you hurt…"
He rolled his eyes. "An' jus' how is dis y' fault?" I blinked at him and he raised an eyebrow at me. I tried to speak but I couldn't say out loud what I had said so easily in my head. After a moment of me looking perplexed he sighed once again. "Y' didn' do anyt'ing wrong, Lance. Y' did everyt'ing I asked y' t' do."
"No, I didn't, I should have just kept running."
"Y' didn' want t' leave me behind an' were lookin' for me, any good team member would have."
"But you were shot because of me."
"Non, I was shot saving y', dere is a difference." I still didn't understand. Why would anyone want to risk their life to save me? "It's what a team does for each ot'er. T'ink of it as being a family, a very dysfunctional family mind y' mais still a family." I stayed silent, thinking over what had been said. After a moment he reached over and took my hand, squeezing it slightly. I looked up at him in shock. "I trust y', Lance. Maybe now y' will learn t' trust me as well."
I looked at him for a moment before smiling and squeezing his hand back. "I trust you." He smiled back at me, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, still holding my hand and I wasn't about to let go.
They say that you never know what you have until you've lost it. I nearly lost Remy and there is still part of me that believes it's my fault, whether he thinks the same or not. I have never trusted anyone as much as I trust him. He saved my life at the risk of his own, that has to count for something. Even more surprising is that he trusts me back. I don't think that's ever happened before. Trust is not a common thing in my life, but I am beginning to see that it is an important thing. If you don't have trust then what else is there? There would be no team, no friends, no love. I think I finally understand.