Chapter 23. The fire within

As John descended the main staircase, sounds of happy chatting, laughing people met his ears. He paused at the doorway before entering, if he didn't want to do this now was the time. Looking in at the people in the Rec. room, John was surprised to see that many festive changes had taken place, during his self-imposed solitary confinement. There was an extremely large decorated tree erected right in the middle of the room. Tinsel and Mistletoe lined the walls, creating a visual feast for the eyes. And underneath the tree was the largest pile of parcels John had seen.

He was starting to reconsider emerging from his room, he felt out of place standing before all this merry cheer, but before John could leave the room suddenly fell silent. All eyes in the room turned to John. John suddenly felt very self conscious, about how he must look to them, with his messed up orange hair, and chaotic looking clothes, full of creases, that he had been living in for the past week.

"John, we are so pleased that you finally decided to join us", Xavier greeted.

John said nothing, as he let his eyes sweep across the large gathering of people. Remy stepped forward, walking over to John. Remy stoped right in front of him, and the two locked eyes staring at each other for a while, until Remy reached out for him embracing him in a masculine hug. John returned it, smiling slightly at Remy's actions.

"Come on, mon ami, Remy has bough some eggnog he wants to share with you", Gambit offered, gesturing for him to come into the room.

"Thanks mate, but I should visit her first", he declined.

Gambit nodded in agreement, "Remy also has an announcement still to make", he said nervously, looking around the room.

"Well, good luck mate", John said backing away from the door.

"Thanks Remy's gonna need it", John heard him whisper, as he headed for the med lab.

XXX

John stood before the drawn curtains, in the med lab, collecting himself before entering. Taking a shuddering breath, he puled the curtains back slightly before entering. As he looked upon his love once more after all these months, he could feel the pain he felt when he first saw her in this condition, flare up.

Amara's black body was still in the same position, with her hands held up, trying to defend herself from the torrents of water. The plastic sleave that she once clutched in her hand, was now gone. John's eyes travelled to her bedside table, and he was happy to see many flowers and Christmas cards, placed there.

Fighting the wave of tears that was threatening to be released, he puled up the chair that was placed at her bedside. Sitting he let his eyes travel over her charred form once before he reached out taking her solid hand.

"Hay love" , he croaked in a small whisper. "I know I haven't been to visit you for some time, but it's hard for me, you know….. I guess I'm not a strong as I thought I was". Having lost the battle to control them, tears slowly started to trickle down his face.

"It's Christmas, luv", he told her, swallowing down the lump in his throat as best he could, "And I know it probably doesn't mean that much to you now, but I've brought your book back", lifting the book he had brought down from his room, he placed in on the bedside table with her other gifts.

"I've written poems for you in it-", John had to stop talking, the rate of tears he was producing, was becoming uncontrollable. Loosing all control, John broke down completely, reaching out to her, grabbing her hard waist, he pulled himself closer, placing his head on her stomach. "Please,…please", her begged between wails, "Don't leave back, I'm not strong with out you,…" he paused in speaking, as tears started to fall violently from his face. "I need you, Amara", he croaked, " I need you", "I'm not alive if I don't have you", was the last line he was able to get out, before loosing control of speech altogether. John lost track of time as he wept on her midnight black body.

Still in tears, John stood, leaving the med lab. As he walked down the hall back to the rec. room, he whipped the tears away from his face as best he could, he had just reached the end of the hall, when something clicked inside of him, A sensation he had forgotten started to flow through his body, a sense of pure panic took hold of him, so strong that he had to lean against the wall for support. Suddenly a scream cut through his head, in a cry for help, 'JOHN!!'

XXX

AN: short, I know, but I have a lot of stuff to fit into the next chapter. Now I don't know if any of you noticed that I have been releasing a large amount of chapters of late. Well that is because I will soon be going on a three week vacation, in which time I will be unable to access a computer, and being the nice person I am, I thought that it was not fair if I left you all on a cliff-hanger for almost a month. So, I am trying to get as much written for you all before I have to go.

Thanks to:

Valthraema (I'll have you know, that that chapter was my standard size for a chapter, now this is a short chapter, lol)

Pyro-2004

v son sayian

Prowler-125 (yeah, he does look like crap, and your joke wasn't really that lame….ok, it was lame, but you tried, lol)

Allimba (you have earned my respect, you actually knew what they were talking about before I had to spell it out clearly. I gave that chapter to my best friend to read, and she had no clue what was going on, so you just moved up higher in my books, and yeah, I think every one knows I'm gonna bring Amara back, but being the crafty writer I am, there will be some differences)

CajunBelle (I know this is really short for me, but I can be forgiven considering I've ritten so many chapters lately)