Author's Note- Remember when you were new to fanfiction? You had to figure out all those abbreviations, new terms, categories, references, and how to review. Well, this is the guide to all of that and more, but since the concepts themselves can be kind of dull, the Golden Trio is here to show you.

"Hermione, your friends are here!" Mrs. Granger shouted up the stairs as she opened the door to reveal two young men, the red-haired one looked around himself in amazement. Harry and his jet-black hair stood to the side of him silently laughing as Ron asked Hermione's mother what the box with moving people trapped inside was.

Hermione ran down the stairs giving both boys hugs. Her mother gave her a relieved smile and hurried out of the room.

"I'm impressed that you came here without creating some sort of scene," She said observing that the street wasn't filled with curious and bewildered bystanders.

"I had Mr. Weasley drop us a block back and then showed Ron how to ring the doorbell." Said Harry with a grin.

Hermione nodded in understanding and motioned for them to follow her up the stairs.

"Guess what? I found this really weird site on the internet the other day!" she said as they heaved their bags up the staircase.

"Internet?" asked Ron. "Isn't that the thing on those compooters that Dad says Muggles use for everything?"

"Basically," said Harry. "It connects them to all sorts of information through this thing called the web.What site Hermione?" he as this as he drew up a chair beside the computer and looked over her shoulder.

"It's called fanfiction, they have this whole section about us. They're based on those biographies of you that witch Jo Rowling wrote, Harry, remember? It's quite creepy though, half the things are facts and then there are really weird ones too."

"I want to see one!" Ron shouted eagerly and clicked on a link as he had seen Harry do to get to the site.

The story he clicked on was called Strange Gazelle; it was by a strange combination of letters and numbers that even Hermione didn't bother looking at.

All the Hogwart's first years had been sorted when the older students noticed a strange occurrence.

"Hey! It rhymes, kind of! How do these people know about Hogwarts anyways?"

"Be quiet Ron!" hissed Hermione. She hated to be interrupted when reading.

McGonagall hadn't put the sorting hat away; there was a lone girl walking down the aisle to it now. She was beautiful and all the Hogwarts boys' heads turned to watch her. Her raven black hair flowed over her shoulders and her eyes were so beautiful a blue that many couldn't tear their own from her. She was a foreign exchange student and the brightest witch ever at her school. She had come to Hogwarts, excited that they had Quidditch because she wanted to play a Chaser.

Hermione quickly scrolled to the bottom of the screen, Harry and Ron looking at her in confusion. Finally Harry said, "Hermione I wasn't finished reading that! The girl sounded fantastic."

"Oh honestly!" said Hermone, rolling her eyes. "She was a total Mary-Sue. Beautiful, intelligent…played Quidditch. Chances are that she ends up dating one of you to and somehow helps defeat Voldemort! There are millions of these stories and warning the author about their characters is the kindest thing we can do."

There was a confused silence after that, broken by Ron saying, "Blimey Hermione! Think I get to date her?"

Harry shook his head at Ron sadly whilst Hermione typed up a quick review wishing the author luck while kindly telling them the flaws of their story.

"Okay then Harry, why don't you pick a story this time? Hopefully you'll have better taste then Ron."

Harry smiled and scrolled down the screen; he was quickly glancing at the summaries when he saw one that put a mischievous glint in his eye, and clicked on it before Hermione could see and sat back with a smirk on his face.

Hermione's true love

Author's Note- Draco/Hermione contradicting canon.

Hermione Granger waited quietly at her table in the library. Harry and Ron thought she was studying, but that wasn't what she did anymore. Her table was in the far back corner of the library where nobody ever bothered to go.

A few minutes late Draco entered and swaggered towards Hermione's table. She giggled as she saw him and then brought him in for a passionate kiss.

"HARRY!"

"Wow, I never knew you fancied Draco 'Mione." Harry choked through peals of laughter.

"I don't! I'll leave a review telling them what I think, and you aren't allowed to choose anymore stories Harry. Honestly, me and Draco…"

"All in fun, Hermione, all in fun," said Ron with a smirk. "By the way, what's canon?"

"The books," said Hermione, furiously typing up a review:

Author, I am sorry to say but your Hr is completely OOC! Honestly, she doesn't go to the library to have snog sessions, and for that matter Draco is OOC as well. Plus you never made clear, is this set in CoS, or OotP, or your own book six?

"What's CoS Hermione?" asked Ron in bewilderment.

"I'm not really sure Ron, but it appears to be a time frame, just like Book 6."

"Oh, wait…book six?"

"Our sixth year at Hogwarts, Ron!"

Really, you should have some sort of explanation; this doesn't even qualify as Fluff!

"Er…Hermione, what's fluff?" asked Harry.

"It's meaningless and overly cute romance. Well, it's fun sometimes, but that was a little odd. I have no problem with author's having their own opinions or jokes…but this person's bio says they truly believe I love Draco! Ugh! She doesn't want flames, eh? Too bad. Now that that's sent, I'm going to the loo and when I get back I want this story gone."

Harry managed to navigate back to the Harry Potter page and had Ron choose the next story.

"Hey Harry, what's slash?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know, but it involves a story with Sirius and Lupin, let's read it!"

Two minutes later…

"Hermione! I don't want to read this stuff. It's scarring!"

"What did you boys read?" Hermione asked, looking at Harry and Ron's petrified faces.

"Well the summary said slash and…"

"Slash is when two guys or two girls date. I'm guessing you read some Remus and Sirius, that's the most common."

"Yes, and it was nauseating!" said Harry. "In real life it's fine but Sirius and Lupin aren't…slashy!"

Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Here, I made this list; I thought you two might need it, really badly. Plus if you write a review using these terms, you won't spell nearly as many things wrong. You also might be forewarned. Which would have been a good thing it appears."

"Thank you, though I wish I had gotten it sooner." Muttered Ron. He and Harry looked at the list.

AU- Alternate Universe

OOC- Out of Character

IC- In character

SS/PS- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone/ Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

CoS- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

POA- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

GOF- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

OotP- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

AN- Author's Note

Mary-Sue- A character that's so perfect and predictable that they are boring.

R&R- Read and Review

OC- Own character

MWPP- The marauders: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

Hr/HG- HermioneGranger

HP-Harry Potter, sometimes written as H

RW- Ronald Weasley, sometimes written as R

LL- Luna Lovegood

LB- Lavender Brown

NL-Neville Longbottom

LP-Lily Potter, LE is Lily Evans. Same person, different time ranges

JP- James Potter

RL- Remus Lupin

SB- Sirius Black

FW-Fred Weasley

GW-George Weasley

Flames- negative or mean reviews

Slash- Stories that involve Homosexuality

Fluff- love stories

"That's a lot of stuff Hermione, we'll never remember it. I'm impressed." Ron said as he reached the end of the list.

"You should be. It took me a while to figure this all out, AU was the hardest. I knew it meant a story with a completely different setting, but I thought for the longest time it was Author's Understanding, like the writer's own interpretation. Really it's Alternate Universe."

"As fascinating as that sounds, can you show me a story? I really don't get it."

"Of course Harry." Hermione sighed and patted his head.

She clicked on a story entitled, Potter and Dursley; The greatest team ever.

Harry Potter was going into his first year of Hogwarts with his close friend and cousin Dudley Dursley. He and Dudley were marked to be the most powerful wizards alive. Petuntia hugged her son, and the boy who was like a son too her before pushing them off towards the barrier.

"What is this madness! Aunt Petunia hates magic and Dudley is so Muggle its scary!" cried Harry.

"That, my friend, is what we call AU."

AN: No real stories or authors were used in the making of this, any resemblance to a real fic is purely coincidental. This is Tikvah Ariel, and Desipoplover13 teamed up yet again. We wrote this in hopes of receiving more helpful reviews. This is only the beginning though and next chapter will deal with reviews more directly. If we missed any codes tell us please. Also check out Braids and Boils, our other story!