Haunted By A Whisper

Ellie sat at the edge of her bed, her sleeve rolled up as her eyes remained fixed on the fresh scar. She had not slept even for a moment last night, the familer pain from the blade being dragged across her skin and the warm sensation of blood dripping down her arm had caused her to stay up all night, laying in bed as she stared blankly at the ceiling. Her mind off in some distant plane.

She had spent the past several hours trying her best to avoid looking at her arm, afraid of what she might see If she did so. Nearly an hour ago she had finally worked up the energy to attempt to get out of bed, but was only able to swing her legs over the side of the small wooden bed. When she tried to stand up she could feel the tenderness on her arm and was forced to look down. The instant her eyes caught sight of the fresh cut..she was frozen.

Ellie felt like she had been hypnotized, she felt as if the fresh scar was haunting her, mocking her. Almost as if it was screaming "YOU CRACKED!" and laughing hysterically. Ellie could feel as the tears began to well in her eyes as her mind began to fill with reminders. Reminders of the reason why she started cutting in the first place all that time ago, and reminders of why she began cutting again last night. The reminder of being abandoned. Being reminded of the last person she ever felt would leave her, and he did. Sure, it was not by choice but he still left her. Just like everyone else.

Ellie always felt as though the first person to really leave her, was Marco. Sure he had not physically left her, but he was not the same person he used to be. Ellie had fallen for Marco, she had fallen for the guy she thought she knew, on the day he came out to her...her world had come crashing down. She thought she could have loved him, liked him a lot at least. She had convinced herself that everything between them would be fine, and that maybe he was still confused, but on that day when he came out and said he was gay..a part of him was no longer hers. The one part of him that she wanted more then anything was now the one part she would never get. His heart, his soul...all of that will now belong to Dylan, or whoever he ends up with in the future.

After she lost Marco, she lost her mother. Of course she has lost her mother over and over time and time again. There is no counting how many time she has lost her. Basically everytime she cracked open the first bottle of booze for the night, everytime she took her first sip, everytime she told her she would stop, and everytime she would pass out drunk on the couch. Ellie had tried to talk to her once, but it had gotten her nowehere. Until the final time, the time when she showed her what her drinking was doing and showed her the scars. In that moment, that evening she insisted she would get help...but she had to go away. Just like everyone else. Leaving Ellie alone with Sean..

...Sean. Her first real boyfriend and the first person to not only understand what she was going through, but have gone through it as well. He too was abandoned by his parents at a young age, but it was worse for him. Because they chose to ditch him, they chose to send him off with his brother and send him away from that life and from them. Then Sean chose to stay away and stay here with her. Stay together, and then he too left her just like everyone else in her life.

Ellie turned around as she looked at the clock that sat on top of the dresser beside the bed. It is about lunchtime at school now, and Ellie realized there was no food in the house. Since Sean left she has had Ashley and Marco bring her food but she can't depend on them for long, she can't depend on anyone anymore, which is why she knows she has to get a job.

Ellie climbed off the bed as she looked down at the clothes she was wearing. She had not changed since last night, she was in the same clothes she wore all day. A black t-shirt and black skirt, nothing special. She grabbed her backpack off the ground by the door, snatching her keys as well as she headed for the door. She could no longer sit here in silence, allow for her thoughts to chase her wherever she may go. No...she needed to get out. She needed to go to school.

---------------

Sean sat on the front steps of the small house he shared with his parents. Events of the last few months continued to haunt him, he replayed what happened at school that fateful day over and over again in his head, everytime searching for something, some sign that it was all a figmient of his imagination, some sign to show that he made it all up in his head. That it never really happened.

Sean stared blankly at the broken down car in front of him. The car had been taken apart, the hood was lifted, the tires were removed, doors were even taken off. As he stared at it, all Sean could do was look at it as if it was a person, as if it was Rick. It had been mangled, distorted, messed with so badly that eventually it was torn apart. Ripped to shreds and left with nothing but the shell, just like Rick. The only difference between the two is a car can not become self destructive, a car can not pull a gun on innocent people and pull the trigger, a car can not become a murder.

Maybe that wasn't a difference afterall, because Rick was not the murderer, HE was. SEAN was the one who fought for control of the gun and he was the one who's finger slipped and wrapped around the tiny piece of metal that was the trigger, and he was the one that felt as the gun was pushed up against Rick's stomach and felt the massive impact as it went off, as he pulled it himself. His hands drenched in the warm sticky liquid.

Ever since that day he had been replaying the last exchange of words he spoke with Rick before he took the young teenagers life...trying to make some sense in it..trying to understand...

Rick's broken spirit was obvious in the way he spoke, the way his voice cracked with each word he uttered, the way he clutched on to his black backpack as if it was his one remaining string keeping him in sanity, keeping him calm and stopping him from slipping over the edge.

As he took another step forward, his voice slightly cracking as he had his eyes fixated on Emma.

"Flirted with me. I thought you liked me but...that was something else." Rick said as if he was giving up, his voice so full of pain that it was almost defaning.

Sean looked beside him at Emma, who was frozen in fear as she kept her eyes locked on Rick, she was as still as a statue. She had allowed for the fear to take control of her and she could no longer form any words. Her eyes were too busy staring at the gun he held limply at his side. Sean knew that he had to do something, he knew that if he did not then there is no telling what Rick was capable of. He already put Terri in the hospital..who's to say he won't attempt murder next?

"Just...put..the gun down...ok? Anything else is just gonna make your life worse." Sean said as he took a slight step in front of Emma, as if he was going to protect her, if the bullet went into him it would not hurt anyone else.

Sean's heart began to beat wildly as if he was going to burst through his chest and spill on the ground before them. His hands were shaking as he tried to remain calm, he has seen this in the movies before. Talk calmly, rationally, try to convince the shooter that everything will be ok. It has to be clear in the way you talk to him or there is no telling what could happen next..but Rick..Rick was not a character in a movie and neither was Sean. This was real, this is real life. This is happening now, before his eyes. If he doesn't do something about it then there is no telling how many lives could be lost.

"It can't get any worse." Rick spoke, his eyes were locked on Emma, it was as if he did not see Sean in that moment, all he could see was Emma, and all he could do was feel his own pain. Nothing else. NO one else.

Sean swallowed hard as he took another step in front of Emma.

"Believe me...it can.." He said, this time he knew it would not turn out as it did in the movies. He could feel the pain growing deeper, Rick's eyes were so cold and empty it was as if someone had sucked all the humanity out of him, and left him with nothing but vengence.

"I...I know.." Sean took several other steps towards Rick. A part of him had wished Rick would just back off, back away and run for the door. But he knew better, he knew this was not going to happen.

"We'll figure it all out...ok? Jus-Jus-"he looked down at the gun at Rick's side. Sean's words caught in his throat as he saw the shiny black weapon. From the distance he stood before, he had thought it was a toy. Of course he knew it was real but Sean has never seen a real gun before in his life and being so close was something he had never wanted. Rick's hand was wrapped so tightly around the gun that his hand was turning red.

"...Figure this all out..." Sean finally managed to mutter as he continued to stare down at the gun.

Rick let out a slight chuckle, it was not a humerous chuckle but it was a pained one.

"It's too late." He replied.

"NO." Sean said, now his voice was full with desperation and fear.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Rick lifted the gun and pointed it over Sean's shoulder, directly at Emma. His hand was shaking as he stared at her, and for a second Sean could have sworn he saw a glimmer of humanity in him, a slight tear welling in one of his eyes. He was not sure, however and did not think it would matter. Rick had the gun pointed at Emma and it is really happening,

"I already shot someone." Rick said.

Sean remembered the reason why he had turned that corner a mere five minutes ago. He had heard the gun shot from where he stood at his locker in the next hallway. Now it is all too real because if Rick could shoot someone already, whats to stop him from shooting Emma right now?

Sean looked beside him at the gun, as he finally heard Emma let a slight whimper escape her lips. Sean saw how close the gun was, he could feel the bile rising in his throat, his stomach was turning, his heart was beating, his mind was racing. He has to do it and he has to do it NOW.

Sean could no longer control his thoughts or his actions, as he reached up wrapped his hand around the gun, Rick backed up as Sean grabbed him with his free hand and pushed his chest up against the crazed student, Sean wrapped his free arm around Rick's back and pulled him closer to him as Rick tried to wrestle with him for control of the gun. As Sean continued to fight for the gun he could feel as Rick's sweat dripped onto his face, he could smell his breath and hear him breathing, this was all happening too fast, it didn't make sense. This was not supposed to happen.

"STOP!!!" Toby's shrieking scream only made Sean fight harder.

As Sean and Rick continued to struggle for control, Sean felt a jolt, he felt as Rick's entire body shook as if he was having a seizer. Sean's hand was covered in the warm sticky liquid, and time stood still as the two teenagers hit the ground with a sickening thud.

Sean looked to his side, and nearly threw up as he saw the motionless body beside him. No...No...it...he can't be... Sean stared in shock, not wanting to believe what he saw, it can't be real.

Sean shook his head, trying to fight off the images, the flashback, he could no longer continue to do this. Stop thinking about it, stop allowing for the past to haunt him. It makes no sense. This whole thing should never have happened but it did, and because of him a person is dead. And there's nothing anyone can do to change that.

Sean stood from the step as he turned around and with a massive force he swung open the door to the house, the screen door slammed against the wall with a thud so loud that Sean was positive he had broken it. Oh well, it is just a door.

Sean walked into the kitchen, thankful that neither of his parents were around. If they were they would have stopped him from what he was about to do, but there is no other choice. He needs the warm sensation to fill his body and seep into his stomach, warming him up. Calm him down.

Sean walked over to the sink, bending down he pulled open the cabinet and pulled out the large bottle of vodka, standing up he popped open the bottle and took a long sip. Sean nearly chocked as the liqour quickly went down his throat, leaning over the sink he shook his head as to adjust himself to the bitterness of the drink.

Sean stared out the window as he looked out in the backyard, wishing he had not left, realizing he may have made a mistake in coming here. All he needed was Ellie and he left her, now there is no way he can ever go back.

---------------

From the moment Ellie stepped foot in the hallway, she could feel their eyes on her. Every room she passed, every person she walked by, her word whispered, every stare...they all knew. They all knew and they were all talking about it, all talking about her. Whispering.

"Ellie!"

Ellie turned around as she heard her name being yelled, she nodded as she saw a surprised Marco walking over to her.

"Hey..wh..what are you doing here?" Marco asked as he approched her.

"I need an education." Ellie replied.

"Shouldn't you be at home? Sitting on the couch watching Oprah eating bon-bons?" Marco asked, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

"Isn't that what you should be doing?" Ellie said, as she attempted to plaster a smile on her face. No matter how hard she tried she knew it only came out looking fake.

"I'm serious. Let me take you home." Marco insisted.

"I'm fine. Ok? I couldn't sit around there alone anymore. I needed to get out. What did I miss in English?" She asked.

"El-"

"I'M FINE!" She snapped at him.

Ellie sighed as she walked over to the lockers, leaning against them as she looked at Marco.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. She hated knowing that she snapped at him, all he was doing was trying to help and she couldn't handle it.

"Romeo and Juliet." Marco said as he leaned against the locker beside her.

When Ellie looked at him, clearly she had a look of confusion on her face.

"Its what you missed in class. We started it last week."

"Great. Just what I need. A tragic love story about two people who kill themselves because they can't be together." Ellie mumbled, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I know, It's so overdone-Ok why is Heather Sinclaire headed this way?" Marco asked.

Ellie followed his eyes and found herself just as shocked as Marco, why is Heather headed this way? In all the years she has attended this school, Ellie can not ever remember one exchange of words from the blond girl.

"Hey. Uh..Ellie right? I heard about your father and-"

Ellie shook her head at Heather as she pushed herself away from the locker.

"I have...to go." Ellie said as she pushed past Heather.

Walking down the hall, Ellie tried her best to walk as fast as possible, she avoided the gaze and whispers of those she paased as she made her way to the janitors closet.

The second she reached the closet she swung open the door and rushed inside, slamming it closed behind her, she leaned against it. As she slid to the floor. She ran her fingers through her red hair, which now seemed to be damp with sweat, trying her best to stop the tears from flowing.

The sound of her cellphone ringing was just what she needed, as she dug into her pocket and pulled out her cellphone.

The instant she looked down she recognized the number...It was him..SEAN. Without hesititation, Ellie pressed the green button as she lifted the phone to her ear.

"Ellie..." He finally spoke, for the first time in what seemed like months..he finally spoke.