The Painful Truth

Sean paced back and forth in the hallway just outside of the door to Ellie's room. His mind was racing with numerous burning questions. Why would she do this again? Was it because of him? Did her mother do something else? Did someone say something to upset her? Maybe Emma had something to do with it...

No matter how many questions ran around in his head the only one that seemed to make any sense to him was that it had to do with him. He should have thought about what he was doing before he turned his back on Ellie and left her behind. Even though they never spoke the words, Sean knew that Ellie was never expecting him to be just like everyone else in her life. He knew the last thing she expected was for him to profess his love to her only to seconds later tell her that he could not return to Toronto with her. They never offically broke up, but in the many sleepless nights, countless hours, numbing days they were apart..neither one of them made the effort to speak. Well..not neither one..Ellie had called him numerous times, but he never responded or never called her back..he should have put in the effort.

"What are you doing here?" The sound of Paige's voice shook Sean from his thoughts as he turned to see her turning the corner. Her face was twisted in anger as she approched him, her hands full of two coffee cups.

"Paige.." Marco said with a exhausted sigh as he approched her.

"No." She said, her voice full of determination as she handed one of the cups to Marco, and placed the other on the small table between a sleeping Ashley and Emma.

"What are you doing here?" Paige asked again as she stepped up to Sean.

"I'm here for Ellie." Sean said as he glanced at her once before turning his attention back to pacing in front of the room.

"Stop." Paige insisted as she grabbed Sean's arm to stop him from pacing.

"What? What do you want?" He asked her.

"You don't belong here. Go home." Paige said.

"What? No way. I belong here more then you do." Sean said, shocked by Paige's sudden comment.

"Oh really? I don't remember being the one who abanonded her.." Paige said.

"Paige comeon don't start anything." Marco said as he walked over to her.

"No. Marco again, I hate to be the only one here who's willing to tell the truth but he has to hear it." She spoke to Marco and yet she not once peeled her eyes away from Sean.

"What? What truth?" Sean asked, this time he was really frustrated. He just drove two and a half hours here from Wasaga Beach, it is almost midnight, he's been here for hours, hasn't had anything to eat or drink in hours and now he has to deal with the wrath of Paige. Not going to happen.

"Paige seriously.." Marco continued. As always trying to be the peacekeeper.

This time Paige ignored him as she lowered her voice, making sure not to cause a scene.

"Ellie trusted you. She needed you. Her mother went off to get help with her drinking and her father was off in some other country and YOU asked her to move in with you only to leave her in the dust a month later. So again..you shouldn't be here." Paige said.

"Paige." Marco said.

"Marco stop taking his side!" Paige snapped as she turned to him.

"No. I'm not. She's right, Sean. You should just leave." Marco insisted.

Sean looked around the narrow hallway, he turned his attention to Ashley and Emma who were now waking up. The two young girls looked confused as to what was going on, but neither one of them spoke as they locked their eyes on a angry Sean.

"I came all the way here from Wasaga..I'm not leaving until Ellie tells me too." He says, eerily calm.

"She already did." Emma says, as she stands up from her seat. Yawning slightly she steps up beside Marco and Paige.

"Sean seriously..just go." Ashley buts in as she too steps up beside the others.

Sean's eyes widen as he stares at the row of former "friends" of his. Eyes locked on him, their cold stares sending a chill up his spine. Sure, he was never really close with Ashley, Paige or Marco. But Emma? How could she do this to him...again? Take someone elses side over his..Should come as no shock, yet it does.

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Ellie's eyes darted open as she heard the commotion out in the hallway. She turned on her back as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She still felt a little bit sick. Her stomach was still grumbling and her head was now throbbing. It must have something to do with the drugs they gave her.

She looked around the room for something to hold on to. She grabbed the tray table they had given her earlier, which still had a tray full of food on it. Ellie removed the tray as she carefully placed it on the chair beside the bed. Grabbing a hold of the table she slowly wheeled it to the door, pulling open the shade she hid in the shadow as she listened carefully to the fighting outside of her room.

Her eyes filled with tears as she heard her friends attacking Sean. Friends. She actually allowed that word to enter her vocabulary when in reference to the group of people who stood outside her room. They are not her friends. Not anymore. If they were her friends then they would not be out there attacking the one person who could have saved her, they would not be yelling at Sean and treating him as if he is the spawn of satan. But then again, Sean is not who she thought he was either. He let her down just like everyone else. All of those people who stood in that hallway yelling..they have all proven her opinion of them to be wrong.

Paige Michalchuck being number one. Ellie never would have considered Paige to be a friend, the two girls were complete opposits. Paige pep ralleys and pom poms and Ellie was monster flicks and darkness. Yet Paige seems to be the only one out there who noticed the signs that Ellie was cutting..twice. Paige was the one who stopped her the first time..and now here she is again standing out in that hallway on her side. But a friend..No. Ellie will never fully consider Paige a friend. She is just..they are not enemies yet not buddies.

Ashley and Ellie used to be inseprable. Ashley has, on countless times told Ellie that she helped her figure out where she fit in. During that difficult time in her life when she was shunned by Paige and all of her other friends, Ellie was right there for her. Yet ever since she reunited with Craig, everything changed again. Ashley was still there for her..she has made attempts to drag Ellie from the house but..things haven't been the same in a really long time.

Marco...Ellie often wishes she could go back in time to before Marco came out, to a time when they were best friends. Always there for each other. To the simple times of their lives when it was Marco and Ellie..Ellie and Marco. Best friends..and Ellie of course always had hope for something more. When Marco came out, things changed. But he was still her Marco, they were still there for each other. Until Dylan and Sean entered the picture. Marco often left Ellie mid sentence to chase after Dylan, and Sean had made numerous attempts at coming in between them..and now it is almost as if the Marco she once actually may have loved is no more. Recently, like Ashley, Marco has made several attempts at going back to the way things where but it never felt right.

And well..there really is not a whole lot for Ellie to think about when it comes to Emma Nelson. The two girls were never complete enemies, but a part of Ellie always felt threatened by Emma. Maybe it was the fact that Emma had Sean first, or that Emma was constatly sending out signals that Ellie always felt like someday she may want Sean back. Whatever it was..She was wrong. Because at this moment, Emma seems to be the only person who seems to understand.

Ellie brushed away a stray tear as it rolled down her cheek. Why she was crying, she was unaware. A flood of emotions rushed through her as she pushed herself back to her bed, bending down she laid back down as she stared up at the ceiling.

She closed her eyes as she tried to think back on a time when everything was perfect. She tried to think back to the part of her life where everyday was fun and exciting, when everything made her smile. The sound of a voice, the feel of a hug, the warmth of a smile from someone she loved...but the only moment she could think about was her sixth birthday party.

A smile spread across her face as she thought about that day, realizing it was in fact the last time she could ever remember being truely happy.

She remembered it so clearly. It was back before she had even moved to Toronto, back before her father had to keep going on numerous "peacekeeping" missions he is now sent on. It was before her mother got so heavy into the drinking and it was before the thought of ever harming herself entered her mind. Ellie often wondered how much different her life may have been if she stayed in Ontario with her grandparents instead of moving to Toronto.

Everything would be so much better. Back then, on her sixth birthday...everything was perfect. The beautiful cake her mother had picked up from their favorite bakery, the pinata her father had made himself in the shape of a red pony. Which oddly enough at that time was Ellie's favorite color, he had filled it with pixie sticks and sweet tarts and all of Ellie's favorite candies. She was surrounded by a group of her closest friends, people she never would never see again. Everything was perfect back then. Her young inocence mixed in with how naieve she had been made it so perfect.

Now..now she will never feel that peace again. Because now the only thing she can seem to feel is the cold blade pressed up against her arm as she drags it across her pasty white flesh. Now, that is the only feel of comfort to enter her.

And now...that is the thought keeping her warm as she drifts off to a deep sleep.