Tomorrow's A New Day

Ellie dropped the flashlight as she saw Sean laying there on the ground, clutching onto his side.

"Calm down." He said as he pulled himself to his feet.

"What are you doing here?!" She asked in a whisper, trying not to wake up Marco or Ashley.

"This is the only way I could get you to talk to me." He said as he walked over to the bed, sitting down.

Ellie stood there in shock as she watched how casually he sat down on the bed, as if he still lived here. She noticed how he was still clutching onto his side, remembering the loud fall he had. He must have banged his ribs on the windowsill or something because clearly he was hurting.

"Are..Are you ok?" She asked him.

"Yeah. Just bad fall." He said to her as he looked up at her.

"Let me...can I see it.." she asked, sitting down beside him.

Sean looked at her as she slowly raised his shirt, just enough to get a good look at the red tender mark over his ribs. She could tell that it must hurt, and clearly it will be black and blue tomorrow. She reached out to touch it, but forced herself to stop, her hand inches away from making complete contact with his exposed skin. No. There is no way she can touch it. If she touches his bare skin it will only make it harder to talk to him, to look at him, to remember that he is not the same man he was months ago. It will only make it harder to tell him to leave.

"You shouldn't be here.." Ellie whispered softly.

"I wanted to see if you got my gift." He said to her, looking up as she slowly dropped his shirt, and backed away from him, scooting further down the bed.

"Where did you...find them?" Ellie asked him.

"I went back to your house. They were buried under a bunch of stuff under your moms bed." He said to her.

Ellie nodded slightly. Trying to find a way to form the one simple word she knew she needed to say.

"Thanks.."she replied softly.

"I'm...I..I heard..about..your dad...I'm.." Sean tried to mumble out the sentence, tried to let her know that he was sorry. But of course he knew it would mean nothing. If he knew anything about Ellie Nash, its that she didn't believe in the word sorry. It means nothing, no matter who says it or why. What can it do? She used to always tell him that. She used to say that it's a nice word to hear but it can't change anything other then give the person being apologized to a false sense of comfort.

"You shouldn't be here." Ellie said as she stood up, looking at him.

She walked over to the door, pulling it open as she leaned against it, staring at him.

"If you're quiet you can sneak past Marco and Ash." Ellie said to him.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. Not until you listen to me." Sean said.

Ellie turned to him, closing the door quietly as she leaned against it, too afraid to sit down beside him again. If she sat down next to him then there was no telling what she would do. Being that close to Sean, feeling his breath on her face..it would take all she had in her not to lean in and kiss him softly.

"What..what do you have to say?" She asked softly.

Sean looked at her, almost as if he was shocked that she seemed to be agreeing to listen to her. He stared in silence, as if he was trying his best to chose his words carefully. Letting out a breath he stood up, and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans.

"I..I want us to be...us again." He said to her, finally.

"We can't." Ellie replied softly, crossing her arms over her chest. She suddenly felt a slight cold chill run up her spine, and wrapping her arms around herself was the only thing she felt she could do right at this moment.

"Why not?" He asked her.

"Becuase...Because you left." She said, her voice cracking slightly as she let out the last word.

Sean removed his hands from his pockets, looking down as he slightly nodded. He was at a loss for what to say next. She was right, he knew it. There was no point in denying it, he left and she was forced to stay here alone. He had in a way betrayed her, almost as bad as it would be if he were cheating on her.

"I'm back now..I'm not going anywhere." He spoke, looking back up at her.

Ellie didn't say anything as she just stood there, leaning against the door, her arms still folded across her chest, eyes locked with his. The eyes she was once able to look in and feel nothing but love and happiness..now the same eyes she looks in and sees love, and heartache. Everytime she looks at him now another piece of her heart breaks away.

"Ellie..please.." he pleaded as he took a step closer to her.

"Sean.." Ellie said softly, a tear forming in the corner of her eye.

He took another step closer, and another..and another until he was a mere inches away. Ellie could feel his warm breath on her face, her heart beating so loudly in her ears that she wondered if he could hear it as well. She unwrapped her arms from her chest and dropped them to her side, Sean's eyes followed her arms as he reached down and placed his hand in hers, intertwining his fingers with hers.

Ellie opened her mouth, as if to protest. She knew what was coming next, and even though she didn't want it to happen..she couldn't bring herself to say stop. Because she didn't want to stop, she wanted to feel his lips on hers, she wanted to wrap her arms around him and feel him again. She wanted to touch him and kiss him and be with him like she used to be.

As if on cue, Sean took one final step closer, closing the gap between them as he leaned in closely...as if it was something she had dreamed..she finally felt as his lips met hers. The feel of his lips on hers was all it took for Ellie to want to lose herself in him again, as she wrapped both her arms around him, and returned the kiss, each second that passed she deepened it more.

One thought continued to repeat in her head over and over again..

What Am I Doing?