Chapter 1 ½: Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)

Disclaimer: the lyrics belong to Vertical Horizon, the characters and places to Tamora Pierce. I, sadly, own nothing, and am just an obsessed thirteen year old who sits at her computer all day writing fanfics, having nothing better to do.

So you sailed away

Into a grey sky morning

Now I'm here to stay

Love can be so boring

One bleak morning, you sailed out of my life, heading to back to Tortall to confess your love to one of my best friends. I loved you, but I knew I had to do what was right. I loved you too much, I think.

Nothing's quite the same now

I just say your name now

Now, everything has changed. I hardly speak at all, only whisper your name to myself as I fall asleep.

But its not so bad

You're only the best I ever had

You don't want me back

You're just the best I ever had

I try to tell myself that I am fine without you. But it's a lie. Not only were you my friend and lover, you were there to comfort me when I was sad, soothe me when I was upset, and talk to when I needed someone. You were the best thing that I have ever had in my life. And then you walk out, going back to Kel. You don't want me anymore. After all, you have your best friend, a fellow fighter. The girl you have always loved.

So you stole my world

Now I'm just a phony

Remembering the girl

Leaves me down and lonely

You left, and took all of me with you. Now Im not the same, some fake. I don't even feel like myself anymore. Remembering the girl I used to be, the rather happy, content girl, leaves me feeling depressed and alone.

Send it in a letter

Make yourself feel better

You wrote me a letter, trying to get rid of all of the guilt you felt. Apologizing for what you were doing, what you had done.

But its not so bad

You're only the best I ever had

You don't need me back

You're just the best it ever had

I try to comfort myself by saying that I am fine. It doesn't work. I loved you so much. I needed you. You, however, didn't need me. You had Kel. You are better than anyone I had ever met. Of course you wouldn't stay with me when there was someone who was more like you, someone who was better for you, just standing there, waiting for you.

And it may take some time to

Patch me up inside

No matter what, I will be fine. I have to be. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I will be fine.

But I cant take it so I

Run away and hide

It's so much, way too much. I hide myself constantly behind my mask, letting no one in. I don't want them to see how alone I feel, how depressed I have become.

And I may find in time that

You were always right

You're always right

Maybe one day I will realize that you were right to do what you did. I very much doubt it, but maybe, hopefully, I will. Maybe I will realize that we weren't right together. We are, after all, from two different cultures. Maybe it is better this way. We can both be with people more like us.

So you sailed away

Into a grey sky morning

You left, taking my heart with you. Now I am as cold as ice inside, and I feel like I will never be warm again. I feel as cold as it was the day you left, which I find humorous, in an awful, twisted way. The day my heart is ripped out of my chest, it is replaced by the frigid wind that takes you away from me, back to Tortall and the girl you love.

Now I'm here to stay

Love can be so boring

I am here, here to stay in a place where I am alone inside my head. I remember you telling me about a conversation you had with Kel. You had told her about romance. About how it was magnificent and filled with grandeur. And I believed that you were right. Now I realize that it was a total lie. It's boring, when you love someone and they don't return it. It is worse than boring, its miserable.

But its not so bad

You're only the best I ever had

I don't want you back

I don't want you back. I loved you, and you left me. How do I know you wouldn't do it again, given the chance? I don't. I will move on with my life and find that I am happy without you.

You're just the best I've ever had

The best I ever had

The best I ever

This is an in between chapters. I love the song, and I thought it would fit with what Yuki was feeling, and it was a good way to put her in between the last chapter, which was mostly about Neal, and the next, which will also be about him. I thought we needed to know her feelings. I first wrote it about kel, but decided to change it.