Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and company…does that sound weird or what?

"If you don't live on the edge then you can't see the view." –Author Unknown

Chapter VI– What I Would Give Up

It was coming near– they could all feel it, every one of them. In the way the youki had become a part of their daily senses, in the way the wind blew through the trees and made them shudder, in the way the sky got darker and darker every day…in the way everything just seemed to be off balance; Naraku was getting stronger.

It was on a night during this strange circumstances when our dearly beloved hanyou was sitting in a tree, arms crossed, but the look in his eyes wasn't of anger or stubbornness (as usual)…it was that of pain. His eyes were somewhere far away.

He let the memories replay over and over again in his head, causing his heart to break more and more each time. He let himself contemplate this, because he felt as if he deserved it.

He was punishing himself.

Why? Well for that we would have to know what he had seen recently that was making him fall into this deep guilt.

–Flashback–

"So, Kagome have you thought about my offer?"

Inuyasha heard that voice, and instantly he was filled with rage. He spun around and was about to interrupt the two, and either yell at Kouga for asking such a question or yell at Kagome for sneaking off with the wolf.

But, for reasons unknown, what he saw made him stop.

Kouga was sitting up on a boulder, his legs stretched out in front of him smiling up at the miko.

She smiled back weakly and sat down beside him. Inuyasha was glad she had been walking, which meant she hadn't gone to meet Kouga, it was the other way around– good, so it was the wimpy wolf who was going to receive the thrashing, heh.

Inuyasha found something was willing him not to move; something was making him want to hear this conversation. So, naturally, he silently jumped into a tree, supporting himself on all fours, to listen and watch them better.

Kagome looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry Kouga-kun…I…I…I can't be with you, I'm sorry." It had taken her three years to get it out.

Inuyasha's eyes widened, shock overpowering the joy he should have felt instead.

She continued, "I mean, please don't take it personally, I like you as a friend but not like that, I'm sorry…" It started out hasty, spilling from her, then ended with Kagome unable to look him in the eye.

Kouga crossed his arms and looked away, "So you still like dogface, huh?"

Inuyasha's eyes widened, his heart skipped a wild beat, and he almost fell face-first off his branch. But fortunately he dug his claws in the wood to steady his body, one single thought going through his head: 'What?'

"I'm sorry for turning you down…but I…I can't stop…" Kagome's eyes filled with tears and Inuyasha grew rigid on his tree because of it.

Kouga's face softened and he turned and gently wiped Kagome's tears away, "Aw, come on don't cry…I understand…"

"Thanks Kouga." She looked up at him, "You're a great friend, you know."

"So…if you won't be mine…then you'll go with Inuyasha?"

"Iie, he…he's not interested in me…"

Kouga jumped to his feet in a crouch. "Nani!?! Why not? How could he not love you, Kagome?"

She smiled a smile that wasn't really a smile, "That's really sweet… but you overrate me, Kouga."

The hanyou's eyes widened, since when did think Kagome think so lowly of herself?

'Since she met you, perhaps?' a voice inside his head answered, and he didn't even have time argue…or agree.

"Nani?! I do not overrate you, Kagome, dogface is just stupid." Kouga said. And for the first time ever, Inuyasha agreed with him. He bowed his head only to abruptly look up again as he smelt that salty substance mix with Kagome's scent.

Kagome was crying, but she wasn't shaking or sobbing like people usually do when they cry, she let the tears fall freely, as if, as if, she was…used to them…

How many times had Kagome cried over this subject with no one to comfort her?

Kouga leaned over to her, close to her face (too close in Inuyasha's view of course) "Why are you crying, Kagome?" he asked softly.

"Nothing." Kagome answered in a shaky whisper.

Kouga smiled weakly, "Bull shit…you can tell me."

The miko looked up at her friend, then it all spilled out, and Kouga was the confessional of her heartbreak. "There's a another woman he loves, her name is Kikyo, he's always loved her no matter what and he always will. He'll never love me, he never has, I know that… now…"

The wolf prince wrapped an arm around her shoulder comfortingly "I've always known dog-shit is stupid, but I didn't know he was that stupid."

In reply, Kagome laughed, but only because she could find nothing else to do. Kouga's blue eyes that could seem emotionless to some filled with concern, "Listen Kagome, forget Inuyasha, because I'll always be here for you, even if you're not mine, I'll still be your companion, you always have a place among my tribe."

"Thanks." Kagome whispered weakly, deep down she knew that being with Kouga because her first choice was unavailable would be a lie, he deserved better.

Kouga sighed, realizing there wasn't much he could do to comfort her, so he smiled and stood. Once upright, the okami clenched his fist in determination, "Well, since dog-shit is so damn mean to you, I'm not going to give up!"

He smiled down at her, "I know he wants you, but that's too bad for him, I'll win you over and soon, my Kagome." And with that he sped off, leaving Kagome to laugh weakly, wipe her tears away, and then go back to whatever it was that she had been doing before this edict in our saga.

–End flashback–

He loathed himself more than ever this time. Kagome had cried, he made Kagome cry! He had doubted her loyalty, the loyalty that she truly didn't owe him. He had been surprised when she had said she didn't love Kouga; he hated himself for not being relived. Instead he had not believed her all this time when she told him repeatedly that no she did not love the wolf. How ironic.

Kagome believed he loved Kikyo, believed he wouldn't ever love her, and that was his fault…he was a horrible person.

Iie, not even a person, a filthy, worthless, half-breed…he knew that now, the thing he had been told that all his life.

And now he believed it.

'I'm sorry Kagome, I'm sorry a million times; I've put you through so much haven't I? And I've never apologized once, I've never told you how much I want you…how much I need you…how much I love you…you don't know that I love everything single thing about you…'

'And how could you? All I've ever been to you is mean…all I've ever done is hurt you and betray you when you've been more than wonderful to me…'

'You stayed here, stayed by my side, and all I ever did was treat you like you were nothing…'

'You never betrayed me…you always forgave me no matter what I did…'

'You never asked me to change for you, in fact, you accepted me as I am…no one's ever done that before…'

'You were always there for me, no matter what…'

'You gave me everything, and you even cried for me…'

'You're everything to me'

'I'm so sorry Kagome'

'I owe everything to you'

'I love you'

'But you'll never know…because I don't deserve you…I don't deserve all these things you've given me…'

'I know that now…if you want to live with Kouga…if that would make you happy…then please do that…if you want to return to your time…then go…if you never want to see me again, I'll understand…'

'I want you to be happy, no matter what.'

'I don't deserve to live, but death is too good for me too…'

'I'm so worthless…I'll always be just that, a worthless half-breed…'

'Wait…half-breed?'

At that Inuyasha pushed his arms hard against the bark of the tree and sprung from his place on the branch, ignoring the pain that came from moving so abruptly from sitting in that one spot after hours.

Soon he found her, all alone, thank kami she wasn't crying anymore, that would probably make him comfort her…and he didn't deserve even to do that either.

"Kagome…"

The addressed girl looked up "Oi hey , Inuyasha," she tried to stop her voice from being so sad. That conversation with Kouga had been all too much of realization for the girl. Even though the wolf he tried to cheer her up by saying that Inuyasha did, in fact, care for her…it hadn't worked.

Kagome blinked in confusion when she saw the look on his face, he looked so…hopeless. And, though it sounded completely insane, his eyes were glassy as if he was going to cry.

Inuyasha sunk to his knees in front of her. "Kagome, what did Kaede-baba suffix for old hag, hahahahahaha say to you before we left this time?"

The young miko blinked again, "Well…she said if we defeat Naraku, then we have to use the jewel so it will disappear…"

"Or?"

Kagome swallowed; she didn't like where this sudden conversation was going, "Or I have to become its protector…like Kikyo once was…"

She sounded just as hopeless as Inuyasha felt at the moment. His arms ached to wrap around her, to hold her close, to keep her body warm, but he fought them, reminding himself he didn't deserve to touch her like that. "Kagome…I know that's not what you want…"

She looked at him emotionlessly, "So, I don't have a choice."

He met her glance, his amber eyes dark with his sadness. "What if you could? …have another choice, I mean."

"Huh?"

"Kagome, if it'll make the jewel disappear so you don't have to become its priestess, then I'll use to become human…"

Seconds passed in silence…

Then Kagome got defensive, "What? No! I won't let you change yourself like that! I know that's not what you want!"

He bowed his head "That…doesn't matter."

"That may just be the screwiest I've ever heard!"

Inuyasha looked up sharply, "I don't care, I don't care what happens to me…as long as you're happy…"

"Why would you care?!" Kagome asked harshly, harsher that she meant it though.

He looked at her, "Because, Kagome, I…"

'Say it!' a voice inside of his head screamed at him.

"You?" he heard a riled-up Kagome provoke.

"I want you to know that I–"

An eerie, high-pitched sound screamed at maximum capacity as the horizon lit up with a bright violet light.

At the noise Inuyasha instinctively wrapped his arms around Kagome and pulled her into his arms protectively, and she let him just as instinctively.

But quickly as he had done it, he pulled away; together they regained their composure jumped up and raced through the forest.

They slid into the camp. Kagome bent down and grabbed her bow and quiver, "It's happened, everyone!" she yelled as loud as she could; Step one of the battle plan.

In a second they were assembled on the ground, with their weapons ready, armor on, and immediately began to move out.

Sesshoumaru, Jaken, and Rin mounted Ah-un and took to the skies.

Kouga and the other more powerful okami reverted to their wolf-like forms and started to run towards the light at full speed at Kouga's howl of a command.

Kirara engulfed herself in flames and transformed, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo jumped on her back, while Inuyasha grabbed Kagome's wrist, and she jumped on his back as was regular.

They all ran or flew (or whatever) as fast as they possibly could…it was on…this was the beginning…no turning back now.

Owari Chapter Roku

Amehana: DONE DONE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SUSPENCE!!!!!

gasp

What is going to happen? What did Inuyasha want to tell Kagome? Why the heck am I even bothering to write this fic? All this and more answered in the next chapter!!!!!! gives peace sign

Inuyasha: sweat drop yeah…

Amehana: Was this chapter too dry? Cause you know I love detail! growls I want to write some fluff I NEED to write it, but I have to finish this freaking fight with Naraku first.

I'm still not sure if I'm going to continue or not so REVIEW PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I found a quote by Eminem (really misspelled that one) that describes what I think about Kikyo!

Kagome: covers Shippo's ears

Amehana: it's "You selfish !$# I hope you )&#$ burn in & for this !$#"

hahahahahhahahahahahaha I love saying that line with the bleeps because its so funny! If you want to figure them out count the letters & be smart cookies like I know you can be or just listen to "Cleaning out my closet".

I like Emimen…but I don't like Slim Shady…

Miroku: there's a difference?

Amehana: yes,

Miroku: So he's skitso?

Amehana: er…maybe…but Eminem is serious…although I do like "Without me" its funny.

Will someone with smartosity please tell me how to spell his name correctly?!

R.E.V.E.I.W. I personally think it's rude to read a chapter in a fic and not review. So there. I need something to tell me I should go on, right?