Nicholas Bledsoe's Author's Notes: Heeeeeey kids! Its that time once again, where we join in the continuing adventures of everyone's favorite Princess and her android companion. (Author watches in horror as VLP blasts the guy in the back who yelled out, "Woohoo! Leia and Threepio!") O.O; Um… Ok.
Sorry this chapter took so long, but school, writers block (and maybe a few video games…) have all taken their toll. In addition, I had to split the story AGAIN! I decided to go ahead and split it into 6 chapters, but still managed to keep with the original title scheme. Hate that I'm doing this. It feels as though I'm hijacking Mia's story from her. I wish I could have done it in less chapters, but there were so many suggestions for ways to torment the Saiyan Princess. EEP!
(ducks a ki blast from VLP)
Anyways, as VLP is apparently tired of waiting, on with the show.
"Revenge of the Shopper"
. . .
Trunks blinked as he stepped through, having been momentarily blinded during the transition. He wasn't surprised to find himself in the courtyard of Capsule Corp, as that had been the location of the portal generator. He was not really surprised to see Vegeta and Bulma standing in front of him either. The portal had probably been difficult to miss.
For him it had been a several years since he had last seen his friends, and for them it would have been even longer. The last time he had been back, his double had been an infant. By now, they would have been about the same age.
His mo… Bulma had seemed a little anxious at first, unsure whether to regard him as her son or like an old friend. She apparently decided to treat him as another member of the family, almost knocking him off his feet as she flew into him and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.
Vegeta evidently chose to treat his second 'son' the way he treated everyone else: with irritated indifference.
Not that it really mattered. He was only going to be around long enough to grab Goku and go back. He didn't really feel like spending quality time with 'Dad'.
"Its good to see you again," Bulma said, releasing her death-grip on him and stood back to take in how her 'other son' had turned out. She blinked her eyes in surprise. "You're taller."
"What do you mean? I don't think I've grown since the last time I saw you guys."
"No. What I mean is, you're taller than our Trunks," Bulma said, trying to estimate the difference based on her own height. "It only a couple of centimeters, but you're definitely taller than him."
"Maybe I ate all my vegetables?" Mirai Trunks said with a laugh.
"So. What is it this time?" Vegeta suddenly interjected. "I mean, you didn't just come to visit, did you? You always bring some kind of bad news along with you."
Bulma looked at her husband then back to Trunks, eager to know why he was here herself.
"Well then?" Vegeta continued, his voice growing more impatient. "Tell us what 'great threat' from your timeline is coming for us this now," he smirked, "so I can go find it and blast it into subatomic particles."
Trunks ignored the arrogant Saiyan Prince, and turned back to Bulma. "I need to talk with you."
Bulma nodded and walked toward the mansion, Trunks following her.
"Hey! If there's something you want to say you can say it in front of me!" Vegeta yelled. "Get back here! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!"
. . .
17 waited until a growling Vegeta had flown off angrily before creeping up closer to the mansion. He kneeled down next to a tree to minimize the chances of his being seen. He stared at the window intently.
"What's he doing here?" the other Trunks said coming up behind him.
17 tried to ignore him and concentrate on the task at hand
"What's going on?" Trunks asked.
"Shhhhh!" 17 hissed. "Keep your voice down."
"What? You can actually hear what they're saying?" Trunks whispered.
"No, I can see what their saying."
"Lip reading?"
"Bouncing a laser off of the window to measure the vibration and translating that into sound," 17 explained, Trunks just now noticing that his eyes glowing slightly, "and your big mouth is interfering with the vibrations."
Trunks opened his mouth to comment, but shut his trap. He wanted to know what his mom and double were discussing as well.
17 concentrated on the window, and the sounds that caused it to vibrate. "Sounds like your twin has gotten himself a bit of trouble back in his own dimension. He's come here to get Goku."
"No wonders he didn't want to talk in front of Dad." Trunks whispered.
"Doesn't sound like he's too worried about it," 17 said. "The stress level in his voice isn't very high."
"Well, too bad he's here to get Goku. It'd be great if he'd just drag Dad back with him. But what are the chances of that?"
"You never know until you ask." 17 said.
"Yeah," Trunks laughed, "You go and do that. And while your at it, why don't you tell Bra her hair is…
Trunks looked up, and noticed the android was gone. "17? Where did you…"
He looked back towards the mansion, and it finally dawned on him what the android was planning.
"Oh shit…"
. . .
Bulma had gone to call Goku for the dimension-jumping visitor, leaving Trunks to lounge on the couch. He scratched the back of his head, getting annoyed at the rubber band that held his hair back, while pulling it every time he moved his head. He finally got fed up and ripped the band off. Some of his purple hair fell down in front of his face.
He'd let his hair grow out while he had trained with Vegeta, but he'd cut it after the battle with Cell. He'd kept it cut for a while, but he'd gotten lozy about it and let it grow. There had been a couple of times he's thought of cutting it, but it wasn't something he'd really worried about.
"Well well well. Heard you were back in town. Thought I'd drop by and say 'hi'."
Trunks froze. He knew that voice. That smug, arrogantly calm voice. He turned, his face twisted in fury. "YOU!"
17 smirked. "Hi."
Trunks charged with a war cry, diving over the back of the couch, his fist ready to plant itself in the android's face. He barely managed to stop himself as a lavender and tan blur suddenly interjected itself between the two of them. He found himself staring at an open palm, and his own familiar face on the opposite side of that hand.
"Now just hold on a second here!" The Trunks with the shorter haircut and better sense of style said as he kept his double and the android separated. "I don't need the two of you at each other's throats."
"Me?" 17 said innocently. "All I did was say 'hi'. This lunatic is the one that attacked me."
Trunks (non-Mirai) glared at the android to shut him up before he could alienate his double any more. "Would you just get lost for a little while. I don't think having you around will be helpful in convincing him to help us."
17 shrugged his shoulders and took off into the air. Trunks let out a relieved sigh and turned back towards his long-haired double.
The other Trunks was staring him, and it was starting to get annoying. "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing," Mirai replied. "Just wondering where Bulma and Vegeta went wrong with you, and why that android isn't a paperweight on Vegeta's desk."
"Cause Dad doesn't have a desk," Trunks said, "and even if he did, the only paper on it would be the Enquirer."
"So what is he doing here?" Mirai Trunks asked.
"Would you believe that Mom hired him?"
Mirai blinked a couple of times, then rubbed his head which hurt from trying to understand Bulma's logic. "I don't even want to know… So what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Its about what you're planning to do," Trunks said, putting what he assumed 17's plan was into action. It wasn't a bad idea, if he could convince his double to go along with it.
"Look, we know you're taking Goku with you, and that's fine by us, but could you do us a big favor?
"What?" Trunks asked.
"Could you take Dad with you as well?"
Mirai stared blankly at him for a minute. "You're joking, right?"
"No. I'm dead serious."
"Why would I want to drag a bad-tempered Saiyan Prince back to an already devastated world?"
"It would really help me and 17 out?" Trunks said.
Mirai crossed his arms in front of his chest and waited for a better reason.
"Fine," Trunks said. "If you really want to know, 17 and I are plotting a big practical joke against my little sister…
"Bra?"
"So you've heard about her already?"
"Your mom showed me a few pictures.
"Anyways, were planning this big prank, and we can't really pull it off with Dad lurking around all day. So, will you help us."
Mirai thought about it for a second. "No thanks."
"What?"
"I said I'm not doing it."
"Why not?" Trunks asked, coming off a little more whiny than he would have liked.
"Three reasons," Mirai said counting them off on his fingers. "One, I came here to get Goku, not Vegeta. Second, the portal generator only has enough energy to send two people at a time. And three, I don't really want to help you do anything to Bra."
"Why the hell would you care about what happened to her?"
"I don't know," Mirai said reflectively. "I guess its cause I always wanted a little sister."
Trunks stared at his dimensional counterpart, then, when he realized he was serious, Trunks snorted as he suppressed the urge to laugh.
"What?" Mirai asked as the other Trunks started snickering. "I don't see what's so funny. I think it would be great to have a little sister like Bra."
Not able to hold it in any longer, Trunks busted up laughing, laughing until he ran out of oxygen, laughing so hard that his lungs began to hurt.
Trunks took a wheezing breath, stopped laughing, looked at his double, started laughing again. After a few minutes he began to calm down. "You're joking, right? You mean you'd actually WANT a brat like Bra in your family?"
"Why? What so bad about her?"
"Lets just say she's a lot like Dad in some respects."
"Oh come on, she can't be that terrible," Mirai scoffed.
"Terrible enough that I'm willing to team up with Android 17," Trunks stated flatly.
"Well, whatever grudge you've got against her, it doesn't concern me," Mirai said. "I don't have any reason to dislike her."
The arrival of the fiend in question was heralded by bubby, overly-cheery tunes floating through the air. "I don't want no scrub. A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from m…"
The Princess stopped singing and froze when she came around the corner and saw the two Trunkses. She rolled her eyes and took the headphones of her red, glittery mp3 player out of her ears, before smirking and in her best sarcastic voice saying, "Great. Just what I always wanted. TWO brothers."
Her brother just glared at her, as any brother would, while his less knowledgeable double smiled cheerfully. "You must be Bra."
The Princess crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Yeah. And you would be the less-dorky version of my idiot brother?"
"I guess you could say that…"
"So what should we call you?" she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "We don't want you two to get confused when we call one of you…"
Trunks rolled his eyes, while his Mirai counterpart didn't yet know what to make of his pseudo-sister.
"I've got it! Tweedle-Dum…" she said, pointing at the Trunks from the parallel timeline, "and Tweedle-Dumber," she finished, pointing at her brother.
Trunks growled at her, while 'Tweedle-Dum' chuckled at her joke. Trunks glared at his laughing counterpart, who said "Hey, it was a funny joke."
"You should have been 'Tweedle-Dumber…" Trunks grumbled, then smirked as his little sister circled the doppelganger like a predator or vulture, assessing him, checking for weaknesses.
"Hmm…" She looked him up and down finally focusing on the hair.
"What? What is it?" The other trunks asked nervously.
Bra shook her head disappointedly. "Split ends. It a shame too. Another waste of royal Saiyan genes. I thought maybe SOMEONE in this family would have the sense to take care of their appearance, but I guess its impossible for any of you to live up to my standards."
She ended her speech by flipping her hair over one shoulder.
Trunks snickered as his double looked at his hair and said, "I don't see what you're talking about?"
Bra rolled her eyes. She stepped closer to the double and, without warning, yanked several hairs out of his head.
"YEOWCH!" Mirai Trunks shrieked, grabbing the stinging section of scalp. "What was THAT for?!"
Ignoring his whining, Bra proceeded to hold up the purloined hairs for his inspection and lectured him as though he were a unruly toddler. "See? These are 'split ends'. These are BAD. Use a leave-in conditioner."
She looked at the hairs a little closer before continuing, "But I'm not sure if it will do you any good at this point…"
"I don't see what the big deal is," Mirai said, still rubbing the tender spot on his head. "Its just hair."
Trunks winced, covering his ears in preparation for the incoming storm.
"Just hair… Just hair?" Bra was actually shaking, her fists clenched as tightly as she could without breaking a nail or piercing her skin.
Mirai gulped nervously at the angry energy radiating off the girl, seriously beginning to wonder if she was about to go Super Saiyan.
"Just HAIR?!?!?!?!?!" Bra shouted, the shockwave of her bellow shaking the ground beneath them as a dim violet aura enveloped her. She grabbed a handful of Mirai's hair, pulling him down to her level so she could be certain she had his full attention.
"Listen carefully. Hair is the most important accessory a person can have. It embodies who you are. By not taking care of it, you're sending a message about yourself to everyone who sees it. And you're insulting it by not helping it live up to its full potential!" She let go of his hair, poking at it a few times "Why even grow it out this long if you're not going to take care of it?!"
"Wait. I got it," she said teasingly. "This is because your mom never had any girls, isn't it? She has to fill the void somehow, I guess. What a good little daughter you must be…"
She laughed, and Mirai looked at his double, smirking through the pain. "She sure is a feisty little squirt..."
"That would be a nice way of putting it," Trunks said. "I just say she's a spoiled little b…"
He was silenced by a piercing cry of, "DAAAAAADDY!" as Bra stormed out of the room.
"See."
"Vegeta's little princess, huh?"
Bra, hearing the remark, turned, walked back up to Mirai, glared right into his eyes, then drove her heel into his foot and left.
Trunks could only snicker as Mirai hopped up and down, clutching the injured toes.
"And what was it you and 17 wanted again?" Mirai hissed through gritted teeth.
Trunks smirked as yet another of Bra's victims was turned to his side of the conflict.
. . .
17 dropped in next to Trunks as the half-Saiyan watched his Mirai double try and convince the "Prince of all Saiyans" to go along with him back to his alternate timeline. It was much more convenient to just fly in to Capsule Corp. rather than sneak in on foot or by bus or cab. "So, how are things going with our long-haired friend?"
"Pretty good," Trunks said. "He actually got Dad to listen to him, which is a miracle in itself."
17 looked over at the two Saiyan Warriors. He chuckled as he listened in on what they were saying.
"What's so funny?" Trunks asked.
"Nothing," 17 said. "Just that your double sounds really whiny when he's begging."
"Don't you mean 'girly'?" Trunks asked, still curious at some level how he and his double really were
"And then there's Vegeta," 17 continued as the Saiyan Prince, his arms crossed defiantly across his chest, spoke back to Mirai Trunks. As he did, 17 mimicked him speaking to the other Trunks. "You are a very difficult woman."
Vegeta waved a dismissing hand as Mirai tried to argue his point, and 17 continued his mockery. "Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera and so forth."
"Funny," Trunks said, "but I always thought Krillin looked more like Yul Brynnar."
"Nah. Too short. And not since he started growing that weird patch of hair," 17 replied, not surprised the yuppie got the King and I reference. "If it wasn't for that creepy eye, I'd say Tien."
"Well, whatever he's saying, its gonna take a lot of convincing to get Dad to go with him."
"Not to mention some groveling and begging," 17 added.
"Oh, how about this?" Trunks said as his double started imploring Vegeta, using his hands to gesture emphatically. "This is our most desperate hour…"
17 finished the line for him "…help me Obi-Wan Vegeta. You're our only hope."
The two of them laughed. Once it became apparent that Vegeta was going to go along with it, 17 and trunks headed back to the mansion. "Well, now that stage one is out of the way, its time to move on to stage two."
Stage two consisted of a little computer work, which wasn't difficult, but Stage Three… 17 was not looking forward to stage three. But, sacrifices would have to be made…
He just wished it wasn't him that had to make them.
. . .
"I can't believe you're doing this to me again."
"Oh don't be so mopey," she said. "If you didn't want to go shopping with me again, you shouldn't have agreed to be my bodyguard. I bet this is exactly what you had planned."
17 was lucky he wasn't human, or he would have paled at her comment. "W…what?!"
"Admit it, you actually enjoyed shopping and you just did this so you could have the privilege of accompanying me," Bra said with a smile. She had planned this trip anyways, but after Daddy had gone back with 'Tweedle-dum' to the other timeline, she had really needed something to kill time. And if shopping wasn't fun enough, than making 17 squirm was.
"HA! You must be crazy."
"Aww…" she said pouting. "Play nice and we may just stop by Radio Shack," she said in a tone one might use when tempting a little child with ice-cream.
"Hey! Just because I'm an android, don't think I'm automatically a techno-geek." He hated android stereotypes, even if he did have a Radio Shack card in his wallet that was almost completely punched. Two more purchases and he would have enough free batteries to run his stereo for the next decade.
"Ok, ok! Don't blow a microchip." Bra huffed, stepping down harder on the accelerator, apparently tired of tormenting him and wanting to get to the mall as quickly as possible. She had, of course, insisted on driving him there, if only to show off the new 'Saiyan Princess' decal in her back window (complete with a tiny crown or tiara, or whatever), even though he could fly there faster than the car could drive.
But not much faster… he thought, digging his fingers into the seat.
"Hey watch the leather!" Bra yelled. "I just had the interior detailed and… oh crap." Her voice suddenly trailed off as she looked in her rearview mirror
17 looked into the rearview mirror on his side of the car, at the flashing red and blue lights behind resting atop the black and white police cruiser behind them. Bra cursed quietly under her breath as she slowed down and pulled to the side of the road.
The android chuckled lightly to himself as the officer walked up, while Bra tried to calm down and not hyperventilate. The officer tapped on the glass, which Bra rolled down, after a few moments of fumbling with the switches.
"License and registration please." the cop demanded flatly, his voice making Bra feel uneasy, and the way the light flared off his sunglasses wasn't helping to ease the intimidating presence.
"Y…yes sir, officer." She said nervously. She pulled her wallet out of her purse, taking her license out and handing it to him. 17 tried to keep from laughing out loud as she leaned across the center console awkwardly to get her registration out of the glove box. It was wonderful seeing the great Saiyan Princess so unnerved by a petty little human in a uniform.
He noticed that her hands were shaking as she pulled out the small piece of paper, and were still shaking when she handed it back to the officer.
The officer took the registration, clipping it alongside her license. "Do you know why I stopped you miss?"
"I can guess," she said faintly.
"Uh huh," the officer said, taking down the information off of her license. "You were going 20 over the posted speed limit back there."
Bra just nodded.
"Is this your real name miss?" the officer said showing Bra her own drivers license. She nodded, her lower lip starting to tremble. "Any relation to Bulma Briefs?"
Suddenly, for no apparent reason, Bra started bawling. 17 was so shocked that he actually jumped, pressing himself against the window.
"I… d… didn't m… mean to!" Bra choked out between sobs. "I w... was only going to the m... mall and n... now your g... gonna tell my parents, and… and they're gonna take m… my car away, and Daddy's gonna yell at meeeeeee!"
17 resisted the urge to cover his ears and block out the piercing noise. He didn't know how she was doing it, but Bra was causing irreparable harm to his circuits. The sound of her crying was actually setting off his pain centers, and 17 once again found himself cursing Doctor Gero.
He didn't know how he was going to do it, but he had to get the noise to stop. He was willing to do anything it took to stop that sound, which was obviously causing errors to develop in his electronic brain.
It had to be a massive systems error. That was the only way to explain what he was doing. He took off his bandana and handed it to Bra so that she could dry the streams of liquid flowing down her cheeks.
The officer must have found the sound unbearable too, because he was trying to do everything he could to stop the wailing, finally taking the ticket and tearing it up, telling Bra he was going to let her off with a warning.
Bra sniffed as she removed the piece of orange cloth from her eyes to look at the officer, her eyes sparkling. "Really?"
The cop nodded and only her seatbelt prevented Bra from jumping out of the car and hugging the man. "But," he said, shaking his finger at her, "I better not catch you speeding again young lady."
"Oh no, I'll be more careful from now on Mister Police Officer, Sir," She said in her most cutesy voice, her smile overly sweet and happy. 17, in the meantime, had recovered his senses and was trying to retrieve his bandana from the Saiyan-demon's clutches without gagging from having to listen to her act.
He grabbed the orange cloth, and wrung it out, thankful that she hadn't gone for full-blown drama and blown her nose into it. He would hate to have to incinerate it, since there was no detergent in the universe would make it clean enough to wear again.
"You do that, Miss, and you two have a good day," he said, waving as Bra slowly pulled back onto the road. When th girl was gone Officer Rokubungi stopped smiling and put a hand up to his aching head. Sometimes he didn't think he was supposed to be a cop. Shooting people, that he could do. Chasing down a suspect on the freeway at over 180 kilometers an hour? Easy. But dealing with teenage girls? Ha! He was almost as bad as his spineless son in that regard. He sighed. "Mom was right. I should have been a doctor."
. . .
They parked in at the far end of the mall's parking lot, despite the fact that it was early and there were plenty of open spots near the mall's entrance. But Bra refused to park where some maniac would scratch her paint.
Of course, she started whining about her feet hurting before they were even halfway to the doors. 17 rolled his eyes. It was her own fault for wearing heels. Should should've worn a nice pair of sneakers, but nooooooooooooooo. 'Fashion over comfort!' she said, 'Fashion over comfort!'
They immediately headed for the biggest shoe store in the mall. There was a sale on that day, and according to Bra, all the good shoes would vanish quickly if they didn't hurry up and grab what they wanted.
And apparently what 'they' wanted was almost every shoe in the store. Bra pulled shoes from the shelves with lightning speed, sometimes only checking to be sure she had the correct size, and stacked them in the arms of the grumbling android. When he opened his mouth to ask what the point of putting heels on a pair of flip-flops was, she took it as an invitation to let him hold said shoes with his teeth. 17 could only growl as he bit down on the shoe in irritation.
After she had accumulated enough shoes (to circle the Earth three times…) Bra headed to the register with 17 stumbling along behind her. The clerk rang up the purchase and Bra handed him a credit card.
BeepBeepBeep.
"I'm sorry ma'am," the clerk said. "Your card has been declined. Would you have another?"
The Princess pulled her wallet and, with skill that would make a Yugioh player blush, drew five cards, fanned them out, selected a card and placed it on the counter.
"Sorry, but this card was rejected too."
Growling menacingly, Bra pulled out all of her cards and threw them on the counter. One of them just HAD to work.
But none of them did. After the final card had been rejected, a message popped up on the clerk's screen. The clerk opened a drawer beneath the register and pulled out a pair of scissors.
Bra watched helplessly, as the clerk brought her gleaming silver scissors up to the side of the first card.
The scissors closed with a soft snip, though to Bra, it was like the sickening impact of a guillotine upon the neck of one of her favorite superstars.
One by one the cards were cut in two, and Bra's heart cried out for them.
Snip. Orlando Bloom…
Snip. Tom Wellings…
Snip. No! Not Sephy!
17 could only cheer silently inside, as the princess's precious credit cards were reduced to useless strips of plastic. That would certainly cut the trip short. He looked over to capture the stunned and probably angry look on Bra's face to his memory. What he saw was not what he had expected, and actually made him rethink pulling this particular prank.
She looked as though she were about to burst into tears, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to hold them back. She didn't care about the cards so much as she cared about her image. She had never been so embarrassed, especially in a store. She would never be able to set foot in the store again as long as she lived without remembering what had happened. Right now she just wanted to crawl into a corner and disappear.
But another part of her wanted to wreak unholy havoc upon the mall and erase all trace of the incident ever occurring. 17 could sense the small buildup of power inside the girl standing next to him. He didn't care whether or not Bra was happy (Uh huh, riiiiight. Do any of you actually believe that for even a second?), but he did not want to be at the epicenter of a disaster he would likely catch the blame for.
"Wait just a second," he said, stopping the clerk from slicing up the final card, the one with the pretty picture of Legolas on it. "I'm sure this is all just a mistake."
Bra looked up at 17, a bit of wonder in her eyes at the action of the formerly-evil android, who normally would have reveled in her suffering. Hell, she would have enjoyed watching this if it wasn't happening to her.
17 was just as confused, circuits screaming at each other, what the hell are you doing? We have her right where we want her. Don't let up now!
"Just let her keep the card until she can get this straightened out…" His mind yelled, out at him to stop, to let the cashier finish her appointed duty. "…and I'll buy the shoes."
If it wasn't for her Saiyan pride, Bra would have glomped 17 right then and there. As it was she was content to smile triumphantly while protectively clutching her recently returned Legolas credit card.
If it wasn't for the fact that the device had been removed, 17 would have self-destructed right then and there. As it was he had to suffer through what must have been a glitch in his thought processes. He quickly tried to remedy the situation. "Don't think I'm doing this to be nice. You're gonna owe me for this."
"Yeah, yeah," she said half ignoring him as she grabbed another pair of nearby shoes from a sales rack that had caught her attention. "Don't worry, I'll pay you back as soon as Daddy gets back and has a little talk with the credit card companies."
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! he admonished himself, the half of his conscience that remained evil smacking the other half upside the head with a lead pipe. Now Bra was happier than she had been the last time they went shopping and he had told her to get both pairs of shoes…
17 grinned a very grinchy grin…
Pulling out his seldom used wallet, 17 pretended to dig around for money. "Oops."
Bra, who had been happily looking over the boxes of shoes she had been prepared to buy, snapped her head in his direction. "Oops? What 'oops'? The princess doesn't like 'oops'."
"Sorry, princess," he said, emphasizing that last part, "but I don't have enough cash to get all these."
"So. Use YOUR credit card."
17 shook his head, "It's only for emergencies, and besides, the number of shoes you've picked out go waaaaay over my credit limit."
Bra paled, freezing as though she had been dipped in a vat of liquid nitrogen. 17 could swear that if he flicked her she would shatter on the spot. Thankfully he valued his existence far too much to even think of attempting to test his theory.
Shaking off the shock Bra stared at the stack of shoes in front of her, a veritable tower of boxes, each one cradling its precious cargo within a delicate nest of tissue paper. How was she ever going to thin down the pack, let alone narrow the selection to a single pair.
Her face a mask of determination, she grabbed the boxes. She looked around until she found a space that would work well and set the boxes down. Bra then set out arranging the shoes into categories, classifying them so that she could determine which pair would be chosen as the best.
Thus began the first Shoedokai tournament…
… at least that was the caption playing across 17's mind at the moment, as he watched the Saiyan princess prepare for battle.
She soon had the entire floor covered in boxes. Laying the shoeboxes out so she could see every pair as she organized them. The prettiest decorations, those with the sharpest heels, the ones with the tallest heels, shoes that matched most of her wardrobe (red, purple, silver and black), the most unique…
The most expensive… (Hey, 17 said one pair. He never specified a price)
17 found the whole display amusing as Bra worked at a frantic pace to sort the shoes, literally flying over the sea of shoes, reorganizing her columns as a different shoe caught her fancy and was moved to the top. At one point the store manager walked over to have her move the shoes, as they were blocking traffic through the aisles.
Big mistake.
Bra glared at him out of the corner of her eyes, and 17 could swear he heard a growl directed at the foolish mortal who dared interrupt her handiwork. The android laughed as the poor fool withered underneath the Saiyan princess's fierce gaze and slunk away to the false safety of back of the store.
In the end, the title of Grand Champion went to a pair of purple glitter platforms with rhinestone-encrusted star clippies, which Bra hugged to her chest possessively in case 17 suddenly decided to change his mind.
17 may have been sadistic, cruel and uncaring (despite recent evidence to the contrary), but he was a man/android of his word. And despite the fact that the shoes Bra had picked out were almost the most expensive in the store, He had plenty of money with which to pay for them.
Logging was good work, especially when one was an indestructible android with super strength. Of course, he had an entire "crew" of lumberjacks working for him. The company never seemed to notice that all the paychecks were forwarded into the same account. Not that they'd really care. His team was by far the most profitable, even though it was just him doing the work. So long as he kept the lumber rolling out, the dough would keep on rolling in.
He'd never let the princess find out though, especially on this trip, otherwise she'd latch on to him like a remora on a shark (or 19 on Vegeta, as the case may be).
Worse yet, she might con him into taking some of that money and (shudder) redecorating his cabin. That was NOT going to happen. It was bad enough he had dreams of her giving him a complete makeover, dreams which woke him with his own screams. Do androids dream of electric sheep? NO! they dream of demons in purple with trays full of curlers and styling gels and funny-smelling perfumes.
And the ribbons… Oh Dende, the ribbons!
Yes, he realized it was only dreams, that Bra would never really do that to him No, he thought, she'd probably do something worse, like make me up to look like Nick Carter, or that blonde elf-boy she was so hung up on, one of her many crushes from various anime series. No, he wouldn't let that happen. He refused to become a cosplayer!
Once Bra had her shoes safe in their protective plastic bag, she was ready to leave the store. 17 smirked to himself. One store, only a short segment of his precious time, and he was already free. The simplicity of it all was comical. He turned to Bra and said "Ok, lets get going."
"Yes!" she said excitedly. "We still have a lot more stores to go to today."
"W…what?!" She couldn't be serious, how could they possibly go to any more stores. "But we don't have enough money left to buy anything else."
"Silly android," she laughed. "You don't need to buy anything to go shopping."
And with that she grabbed his arm and dragged him off to his doom…
Bra had managed to find a bright side to the whole disaster though. Despite the tragic loss of most of her credit cards, she had still managed to get one pair of shoes, and prided herself on that feat. And there was something liberating about shopping when you knew you weren't going to buy anything.
And it drove the store clerks nuts when you were "just looking".
Especially when they knew who you were, and opened up all the expensive cases for you. She went to at least three jewelry stores, trying on several tons in precious metals and gemstones. 17 could swear that one of the clerks was having a stroke when Bra told her she was just browsing today, and though he despised shopping, even he had to admit that that particular incident was hilarious.
Of course, the majority of the time was not nearly as fun. Bra spent most of her time trying on clothes, even though she knew she wasn't going to be purchasing anything. She hauled him from one clothing store to the next, as 17 tried to put his electronic brain into hibernation to lessen the duration of his torment. Tried, was the operative word, as the princess kept asking for his opinion and interrupting his attempts.
"Which do you think is better," Bra asked, holding out one shirt, "the red 'princess' shirt with the purple glitter?"
"OR," she said holding out another, "The purple 'princess' shirt with the silver glitter?"
"What does it matter?" 17 protested. "You're not going to buy either one!"
"So?" she said holding both shirts out in front to compare them for herself. "I might like one and come back and get it later."
"This whole trip is pointless," 17 muttered, knowing that it WAS his scheme. How was he to know the princess would find a way to turn his plot around on him.
"You know, you could have a little better attitude," the princess said, as she hung the shirts back on their rack. "Most guys would kill just to be seen with me."
Oh please, Dende, let one of them kill me right now…
With that last though 17 leaned against a column and closed his eyes, waiting for Bra to finish whatever it was she wanted to do.
Looking at 17 with her hands resting on her hips, Bra realized she had been a little unfair to the android. After all, he did buy her a pair of shoes, and looking at the way he dressed he couldn't have too much money to spend. So the princess decided to show a little 'mercy' and give him a break from all the clothes shopping. She knew how much guys hated shopping for clothes. Without warning she grabbed the dozing 17's hair and dragged his protesting form out of Rave and towards their next destination.
"Hey! Hands off the merchandise!" he shouted, which was interesting to watch as he was being dragged backwards through the mall and tried to bend back far enough to see where they were headed.
"Oh, good Dende, no…" he said when he saw where they were going. No. Not that. Anyplace but that! He'd rather go back to the pet store and let the fluff balls crawl all over him.
Purple, pink and pristine white loomed ahead, demonic felines guarding the gates of Hell, a warning to inscribed overhead in blood red letters.
Of course someone had abbreviated 'all hope abandon, ye that enter here' down to one word.
Sanrio.
"Please, not there. I'll buy you shoes, just don't make me go in there!"
"No, no," Bra chided. "As you already said, those are for emergencies only."
"This IS and emergency!"
"Oh, you know you love this store." Bra giggled evilly.
17 whimpered as he was dragged into the store. The next half hour he had to endure the amused stares of the two giggling clerks who weren't used to seeing guys in their store, while Bra tried to decide who she liked more, Chimaru or Cinnamonroll.
"I can't believe you like this junk," 17 said, flicking a plushie on the nose.
"Junk? Oh please. You're the one that lives in a run down shack. OOOOHHHH!" She grabbed up the Pochaco plush keychain she had spotted from halfway across the store.
"That has gotta be the stupidest looking thing i have ever seen," 17 said.
"No its not. Its cute!" Bra said as she 'huggled' the plushie. "You just have no taste."
"I've got better taste than you, Princess." 17 said walking to wait by the doorway. "Besides," he muttered, "everyone knows Badtz-Maru is cooler."
After a little more cuteness, Bra apparently had enough and left, 17 following a short distance behind her.
"So," 17 said, "where to next, Princess?"
"There," she said, pointing at a store in bright red, the words 'Victoria's Secret' glowing above.
17 gulped. He may have been an android, but he had been human at one point, and the mere thought of that store made his skin want to go crimson. He managed to suppress the reaction, masking his apprehension behind bravado. "What're we going there for? You gonna give me a show or something?"
"In your dreams, pervert!" she said in disgust. "They have more there than just underwear!"
"Oh, good," he said with a smirk. "For a minute I thought you were going there searching for names to give your future offspring."
"OOOH!" Bra stomped her foot and stormed towards the store. She stopped at the door and turned back. "Well, are you coming?"
"No thanks," he said. "I'll be waiting over at Gamestop."
"So, I visit my namesakes, you visit your ancestors?" Bra grinned, as 17 gave her his best glare (well, best without actually trying to blast her, that is). She just stuck her tongue out at him in response before disappearing into the store.
17's hopes of passing the time playing video games was shot down as all the systems were occupied by annoying little trolls, the kid that looked like Bobby Hill occupying the Playstation 2, Pugsley from the Adams Family had the Gamecube, and the kid that could have passed himself off as Eric Cartman even down to the foul mouth and annoying voice had clamped his little mitts to the X-Box. So 17 was forced to content himself with digging through the old NES games. Sad as it might have seemed, the only system he had at home was an ancient Nintendo Entertainment System, some of the games he still hadn't finished yet. Stupid hammer-chucking Bowser…
He could have poured all his processing power into the game, utterly stomping the Koopa King's digital ass, but these games were designed for a human brain, and if he couldn't beat it while holding back, then what was the point. It wasn't like he dumbed himself down to the level of his brother-in-law, just enough to make it a challenge and a bit more fun.
Digging through the games and other knickknacks kept him entertained for about ten minutes, he eventually tired of it and picked up one of the gaming magazines to read. The troglodyte behind the counter started to protest, but thought better of it when 17 sent an energy bolt careening through the bottom of the Big Gulp he was holding. 17 continued to quietly read the magazine, while the frightfully pale clerk stared at the Mountain Dew pouring down off the counter and onto his shoe.
Four magazines and forty minutes later, 17 was getting tired of waiting. He knew Bra took a long time to shop, but what could she have possibly been looking at that would keep her attention for almost an hour?
He tossed the magazine onto the counter as he left, causing the edgy clerk to scream and dive for cover. He headed straight for Victoria's Secret, ignoring the mortified thoughts going through his processors. He was an android. These things shouldn't bother him. The opinions of the few human woman inhabiting the store held no importance.
He looked from side to side, ignoring the gawking faces, trying to pick out the Princess in the store. She shouldn't be so hard to find. He muttered under his breath, "Dammit, where is Bra at?"
"Excuse me sir," came a tiny voice from behind him, "but bras are over there on the other side of the sales rack."
All 17's mental preparation went out the window as he turned to face the young woman behind him. Warning! System malfunction! Loss of verbal control. Stuttering protocols engaged. Attempting to reestablish external communication. "What? Uh… No t..that's not what I meant. I'm not here looking for a bra I'm looking for a girl WAIT I MEAN I'M LOOKING FOR A GIRL WHO IS A BRA! NO, I MEAN…"
Control reestablished.
17 started to talk again, but thankfully much clearer. "A companion of mine came in here earlier. Her name is Bra Briefs. Blue hair, red and purple clothes, probably clutching a shopping bag in a death grip and emitting an aura of evil. Seen her?"
"Ummm, well I did see a girl with blue hair," The saleswoman said timidly, pointing to the back of the store. "She was heading back to the changing rooms last I saw."
"Thank you," 17 replied with a relieved sigh. He did not want to be in this store any longer than he had to. He marched over to the changing rooms with an almost military air about him, except for the distinctly grunge-punk look to his clothes, and the long hair, and the earrings, and the… oh heck he just looked like he was scared stiff to even be there.
Thankfully for him, the changing rooms were little more than stalls set off to one side of the store, rather than being a completely separate room. Though it wasn't like there would have been a separate changing room for men in the store, they didn't really have a need for one (at least he didn't think they did). Only one of the doors was actually closed, the rest hanging open.
He knocked on the side of the partition and called out impatiently, "Bra?"
"Ah," came the surprised voice from inside. "Uh… just a minute." This was followed by a hurried rustling of cloth.
Inside the stall, Bra quickly removed the silk and satin pajamas she had been trying on. That incident with the bunny had damaged one of her favorite pairs (she snagged them on a piece of wood on her wardrobe and tore a hole in the delicate fabric). She had been wanting to buy a replacement today, though she had been content to settle with trying some on.
Of course, when you try on every pair that catches your attention, its easy to lose track of time.
And now, she was again taking too long, as she awkwardly attempted to grab her clothes while unbuttoning the top. She managed to get the pajama pants off and get the last of the buttons on the top undone. She got one shoe on, and was fastening the buckle on the other, hopping on one foot. She reached for her skirt which was hanging on the door, and her feet became entangled in the pajamas lying on the floor.
With a terrified cry, she fell forward, trying to catch herself on the door, which, of course, flew open the moment her hand brushed against it. Her arms flailing, she grabbed the nearest object at hand in an attempt to stop her fall, but that only succeeded in bringing the object to the ground with her.
"Oof!"
Wait a minute… Bra thought as she sat up. I didn't 'oof'.
She looked down at the object she had grabbed in her fall, which had been surprisingly soft and easy to knock over, yet still solidly constructed, and which she currently sat astride.
And which was gazing deep into her own eyes with startlingly blue ones.
Bra gulped, her face growing hot as she took in the situation. Her hands rested on his chest, one of his hands resting on her knee. Her mind and body were frozen. She was afraid to let her eyes wander and kept them locked on his.
17 too took in the situation, his face looking more stunned than Bra's, though he was able to keep his own blushing down to an unnoticeable level. He thanked Dende that the Princess couldn't read his thoughts, or he'd never hear the end of it. Don't blow a microchip. Don't blow a microchip. Don't blow a microchip… he repeated over and over.
Here he was, lying on the ground, a half dressed Saiyan girl who (even he had to admit) wasn't too hard on the eyes sitting on top of him. The pale violet pajama top she still wore kept most of her covered, except for her legs, which extended out beyond the silk boundaries, and her front which was only visible from a limited number of viewpoints.
Obviously, 17's current position was one of the best of those vantage points, allowing him an ideal view of the Princess's delicate collarbone, her soft skin, the deep purple lace that covered her chest, the smoothness of her stomach, her muscles toned from years of dancing…
Of course, to notice all that, he had to break eye contact with the Princess and look down...
Bra caught the motion and her mind was instantly awake.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" she screamed. "Pervert!!!!"
17 was immediately broken from his trance. "Pervert?! You're calling me a pervert?!"
Bra crossed her arms protectively over her chest and tried to pull the pajama top closed. "Yes I am and… AAAAHHH! Get your filthy hand off my leg!" She said as she slapped the offending appendage away.
"Who are you to call ME a pervert, princess?" 17 shot back at her, trying to regain some of his dignity. "Who's the one that basically glomped me in nothing but her underwear?"
Bra's face became even redder, first with embarrassment, then anger, then embarrassment again as she realized she was still sitting, half-naked atop the cynical android. Regaining her good sense, she decided to return to the safety of the stall to finish dressing.
Not so easy a task when one of your feet was resting on top of your top.
She tried to stand with dignity, only to be jerked to a sudden stop, and yanked back down with a yelp, landing in, if it was possible, an even more compromising position.
"Comfortable?" 17 smirked as Bra grumbled to herself, shooting him a glare that told him to shut it or he'd regret it. Bra again attempted to extricate herself from the position, and once again she was pulled back to the ground.
"Here, let me help," 17 said with frustration, reaching for the trapped cloth.
"I can do it myself."
"Just hold still…"
"I don't need your help!"
"Would you stop wiggling?"
"Be careful with that."
"I know what I'm doing."
"You're gonna rip it!"
"There!" 17 said triumphantly as he finally slid the cloth out from under Bra and she was at last able to stand up.
"EEP!" Maybe he should have helped her buckle her shoes while he was at it…
One of Bra's high-heeled shoes (already not the most stable footwear in the world), slipped off sideways, knocking the Saiyan Princess off balance and sent her tumbling back down to the floor.
17 caught Bra as she fell, which could have been a sweet, heroic, tender moment for them, had the Android been standing. As it was, he was only able to catch her clumsily as she fell flat on top of him. Bra and 17 both cursed, Bra trying to push herself up off the floor again, 17 trying to push the Princess off of him.
Drawing one of her knees up so she could stand, Bra finally noticed the awkward, inappropriate, and somewhat convenient, positioning of one of the android's hands. 17 obviously just noticed himself, because he gulped nervously.
All thoughts of the awkward position they were in was erased in a moment…
Beepbeep. Flash. CLICK!
…then brought back with the force of a freight train as they realized what just happened.
Neither of the two boys could have been any older than fourteen, one wearing a black tracksuit, the other was the quintessential nerd. The sandy-haired nerd was grinning like an idiot, digital camera in hand.
Bra and 17 blinked at the two, looked at each other, blinked again…
"HEY!" 17 shouted as he unceremoniously dumped Bra off of him. "Give me that camera!"
"Oh shit…" The nerd muttered. "Run for it, Touji!"
"Come back here you little brats!" 17 yelled as he took off after the two, leaving the mortified Saiyan Princess behind. Timidly, the princess gathered her scattered articles of clothing returned to the changing stall to dress.
. . .
Ducking inside a service corridor, the two teens stopped to catch their breath after eluding their pursuer.
"I… think… we… lost him." The nerd gasped, his face red.
"Damn, man!" The jock said. "We only ran a hundred meters. You're really outa shape."
The nerd glared at him and opened his mouth to say something when they heard the sound of doors slamming open.
"Alright kiddies," The menacingly icy voice of their pursuer resounded off the concrete walls. "Playtime's over. So why don't you just stop running and give me the camera."
The nerd's already pale complexion lost any traces of color. The jock tried to think of a way out, which looked to be a painful undertaking for him. "Okay, okay. I got an idea. maybe if we give him the camera…"
"Are you crazy?!" The nerd hissed, clutching his precious protectively. "I'm not giving up my brand new camera!"
"What what do you wanna do!?"
The nerd looked around for a means of escape. "There. You go down that way, and I'll go this way. He can't follow both of us."
The jock nodded and took off down one access tunnel. The nerd headed in the opposite direction, heading back into the mall and towards the food court. He was pretty sure he had lost the black haired boy this time.
He turned the corner and froze. It was the girl! She was sitting at a table in the food court. Dammit! he jumped back behind a pillar, peeking out from behind it.
"Did she see you?"
"Nope, not a chance," He chuckled to himself. Then froze. He slowly turned toward the voice and…
The resulting scream was so loud and high-pitched that Sesshy started whimpering even though Capsule Corp. was nearly thirty kilometers away.
The kid tried to run for it, but 17 grabbed him by his collar and yanked him off his feet. The nerd started sniveling as 17 dragged him away. "Your lucky I'm in a good mood kid, or I would've let the Princess deal with you herself."
"All I'm going to do is take this…" he said grabbing the camera. The kid tried to grab it back, but emitted a short "eep" when the android crushed the camera in one hand and fused it into a solid ball of plastic, silicon and metal with a little extra energy. "Now… what to do with you?"
The nerd cringed and backed up against the wall, as the android closed on him with a look that could only be described as evil.
. . .
Bra flicked her finger against the rim of her cup as she slowly sipped on the mocha frappachino she had bought with the last little bit of her cash. She was still in a bad mood from what had happened at Victoria's Secret. It was good that 17 had left so she could get dressed in peace, but she was still angry that he had ditched her.
Speaking of the devil… she grumbled mentally as the erstwhile android walked, no more like swaggered, up to the table. Bra barely spared him an annoyed glower before turning her attention back to her drink.
"Got a present for you, Princess," he said with a smirk, causing Bra to raise an eyebrow and glance back in his direction.
17 dropped the object in question on the table in front of her with a loud clunk, causing her to jump and her eyes to go wide as the black and silver ball rolled toward her and stop against her cup. "What the hell is this?" she asked, wondering why 17 suddenly reminded her of Sesshy, and why she had a sudden urge to throw the ball and yell 'fetch'.
"Used to be a digital camera," 17 said as he flopped down in the chair across from her and put his feet up. "Now I think its more of a paperweight."
Bra blinked, feeling the tension draining from her body. It was such a relief to know that that photo was no longer out there to haunt her. But that still left one witness (well, one male witness with a digital memory and a penchant for evil deeds) to deal with.
"Look… 17..." Bra said through clenched teeth. It was killing her to have to say this, not to mention embarrassing. "Would you please mind if we kept this little incident to ourselves? I don't want my family finding out."
"Don't worry about it. As far as I'm concerned this will stay between you and me" Bra blinked in surprise at 17's words. She had been certain she would have to resort to at least a few threats, or maybe some bribes. Before she could ask why, 17 explained. "Hell, you think I want your family to find out either?! The last thing I need is another reason for your father and 'brothers' to want to kill me."
Bra shivered. The last thing SHE needed was her dad having another reason to keep even closer tabs on her personal life. She had it pretty good right now, but if he found out, her dad would act as personal chaperone every time she was allowed to leave the house, which would most likely be sometime after her thirtieth birthday. And that was if her dad showed any restraint.
"Fine. I keep my mouth shut and you keep your mouth shut," she said.
"Deal." he said, as they shook hands.
Bra leaned her face on her hands her elbows on the table. "So, what did you do to those little punks?"
"They split up, so I never caught the one in the tracksuit." 17 said. "But I caught the little one with the camera and relieved him of it."
"You should have taught the little brat a lesson," Bra griped.
"Don't worry, he did. He won't be hanging out near any women's clothing stores for a long time."
. . .
The nerd in question WAS, however, hanging out in front of Suncoast, waiting for someone. He didn't really care who it was, so long as they got him down from where he strung up.
17 had taken the boys pants and belt and used them as a rope, tying him up by his ankles outside of the video store, hanging him from the red metalwork around the store's entrance. His shirt had fallen down around his head, blinding him to the snickering spectators, including more than a few girls his age. To ensure that no one tried to help him down, 17 had left a note written on the boy's chest and back in permanent marker.
!!!WARNING!!!
!!Property of Prince Vegeta!!
!!Help at your own risk!!
Needless to say, anyone with even an ounce of intelligence would not even speak to the kid.
"Jeez man! What the heck happened to you?"
"Touji?" the nerd said his voice full of hope. "Oh thank Kami. I thought I was going to be stuck here all day."
"How did he get you up there?"
"He's stronger than he looks," the nerd grumbled. "Now, HURRY UP AND GET ME DOWN!"
"Yeah yeah. Just stop thrashing around for a moment." The jock looked around. "He didn't leave a ladder, did he?"
"I don't know, I couldn't see very well at the time!"
"Well, its gonna take a little while, but…" he stopped.
"But? But what? What is it Touji?"
The jock froze because he saw two girls he knew from his class at school coming out of Basic next door. One was freckled girl who wore her brown hair up in pigtails, the other a red-haired German exchange student best known to them as 'The Demon'.
"Sorry man. You're on your own!" The jock said before he took off.
"What? Touji?!" the nerd shouted as his friend sprinted away. "Don't just leave me hanging here!"
It was then that he heard the girl's voices as they started coming out of the store, and he could only pray that they wouldn't come his way.
"You mean you two actually…" the pigtailed girl said sounding bashful.
"Mein Gott, Hikari! You make it sound so dirty when you say it like that." The German girl said. "All we did was kiss."
"Soooo… What happened?"
"Hold on, I want to check out some DVDs," the German said, causing the nerd to whimper. The girl continued, "Well, I started to pinch his nose shut at first, but then the baka actually showed some backbone and…AAAAAAAHHH!!! Hikari! Don't look!"
"Huh?" the pigtailed girl said finally looking ahead of her getting an eyeful of pasty-nerd-belly. "EEEEEEP!"
The nerd felt like he could shrivel up and die right then and there. The German girl agreed, and sought to help him on his way by clubbing his stomach with her shopping bags. The only consolation he had for the way he was being abused was that he had removed the memory card from the camera before it was destroyed.
. . .
17 had decided to be generous with Bra and get her something to eat. After all, he couldn't have Bulma accusing him of neglecting his charge. Given that she was the only one that actually needed to eat, Bra got to choose where they went. So they sat there in front of Hotdog-on a-Stick , Bra eating her deep-fried, batter-dipped calorie bomb, while 17 amused himself by poking fun at the uniforms of the poor slobs that had to work there. He wondered if the employees were required to smile all the time, or if the fast-food chain just kept there workers drugged, or if they simply only hired the insane. 17 chose the latter as the most likely solution.
While the two enjoyed the brief respite from their mutual attempts to provoke one another (and united in their enjoyment in the misery of others), another pair looked on from nearby.
"Hehe. Can you believe what he did to that kid?" The voice was followed by more amused giggling from the speaker.
"Yes, I can believe it, and I'm surprised you find it so amusing." Popo said taking another bite out of his blueberry muffin.
"Bleh!" Dende said before taking another swig from the HUGE mug in front of him. "That kid had it coming for a long time now."
Popo was speechless at Dende's sudden change in attitude. It HAD been his idea to visit Starbucks again, and he did suggest that Dende try something new for once, but he had no idea the effect coffee would have on the normally composed Namek.
Especially when Dende seemed to have taken a liking to triple-shot espresso, which he bought in quantities sufficient to fill his '#1 Earth-Guardian' mug and topped off with about a kilo of sugar.
"Maybe we should head back to Kami's lookout now," Popo suggested.
"Good idea." Dende said hopping off his stool "But lets grab a bag of those beans to munch on the way back."
"I don't think they're meant to be eaten that way," Popo said, not wanting Dende to discover chocolate-covered espresso beans.
"Fine. We'll just have to get a coffee maker before we leave," the Guardian of Earth said, before looking back at the Saiyan and android sitting across the food court. A twitchy smile graced his green lips.
"I just had a great idea."
"What?" Popo asked. "What are you thinking of?"
"Nothing really," Dende said. "Just a bit of karma, and a dash of fate."
Popo sweatdropped as the Namek started giggling evilly, just like one of those creatures from that movie, what were they called again… Oh yeah, a gremlin.
A hyperactive, caffeine-addicted Guardian of the Earth was definitely a bad thing.
. . .
Bra seemed to have had enough of clothes shopping after the 'incident'. Instead, she dragged 17 towards flashing lights and a cacophony of noise and music. 17 once again had to dish out some cash but this time he was more than happy to. If there was one thing he and Bra could both agree that they loved, it was an arcade.
Bra challenged 17 to a round of DDR, set on heavy. It took 17 a moment to get his bearings, but once he did the android in his blue tennis shoes had a distinct advantage over the Saiyan Princess in her high heeled shoes, especially when she had just eaten two corn dogs and a side of chili fries.
It wasn't that the Princess was a pig like Goku or his sons. She ate with all the dignity and grace of a princess, but she was still a Saiyan, and her higher metabolic rate demanded more calories than a normal person. Unfortunately for her, the recent meal threw off her game, and Bra was dismayed with her unusually poor performance.
Not that a total score of 'A' was bad, but it wasn't enough to beat 17's 'AA'.
"Nice try, princess." 17 smirked. "I'd offer you a rematch, but I plan to get at least 'AAA' on the next round, so I think a victory on your part would be a little difficult."
Bra growled at the egotistical android. Fine then. If he wanted to play, then they were going to play. Grabbing him by the arm she dragged him from the platform. "New game, Cyber-punk!"
Great, just what he needed. A new nickname. Oh well, at least it was better than 'Toaster Oven' or 'Scrap Heap'.
She dragged him over to Para Para Paradise, glaring at the geek on the platform until he felt it wiser (and healthier) to find another game. Bra took the first turn, setting the game to its highest difficulty before kicking into high-gear dance mode. Her arms flowed seamlessly and gracefully through each series of arrows, her hands triggering the sensors perfectly every time. On some songs, which she seemed to know far too well, she even closed her eyes and simply grooved to the beat, never missing a single arrow.
"There! Try to beat that score android." She said, smirking triumphantly as she entered her name in the number one spot.
17 snorted and stepped up to the platform. "Not even a challenge."
But the cocky android soon found himself mentally cursing the game, which was giving him far more difficulty than he had anticipated. He eventually gave up on trying to mimic the princess's movements, and instead attempted to punch the arrows as they appeared. Of course it was difficult to concentrate when the princess kept shouting tips from the sidelines.
"No, that's not how you do it!"
"This isn't a fighting game! Stop mashing the arrows!"
"You need to learn to dance something other than 'The Robot'!"
17 growled as the last song finished, already knowing he hadn't beaten the Saiyan Princess's score. Damn, he didn't even get close! He just barely made it into the top ten, being bested by the Princess and several other names. He was tempted to express his contempt for the game by entering an expletive, but decided to show a bit more dignity.
Bra had that annoying smirk on her face when 17 stepped off the platform. "Bow down to the Princess," she said in that disgustingly sugar-sweet superior tone of hers.
17 returned the smirk. "In your dream's. Score's still tied in this contest. We need a tie-breaker."
"Fine. What do you want to play?" She said impatiently, itching for the chance to prove her greatness.
"An older game. None of these sensor or dance pad ones. Something with a joystick and buttons."
"No shooting or puzzle games," Bra added, knowing 17 would love to use his cybernetic brain as an advantage. "Something more organic. Where both strategy and reaction speed are important."
"Fighting game?"
"Works for me?"
"Your pick?" 17 asked. He wasn't going to have Bra accuse him of cheating her if she sucked at whatever game he chose.
"Go ahead and pick whatever you want."
"No, I insist."
"Ok, both of us choose on Three." she said frustrated with the politeness game.
"One.Two.Three. TEKKEN!" they both said in unison, blinking in surprise that they had both picked the same game, their expressions quickly turning to smug smirks as both sensed their impending victory.
They both snapped their heads toward the miraculously unoccupied game (miraculous, because anyone who might have been playing it would have found themselves in another dimension) and dashed to the controls. 17 ended up as second player, which was just fine to him. Bra chose her character first, Anna Williams, and waited for 17 to choose his.
17 looked at her sneeringly. "Let me guess. You always play as her and you have all her moves memorized?"
"Of course," Bra responded, tossing her hair back so it wouldn't get in the way of her gaming. "Why? Scared you're gonna lose to me?"
"No," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "But its good to know that when I win, I really will be the better player."
With that, he set the cursor over the random character slot letting it cycle at blinding speed through the characters. He wasn't actually choosing a random character. He knew exactly what character he needed to beat Bra. After a few seconds, having memorized the pattern, he hit the select button.
The selected fighter was shown, and 17 grinned while Bra cried out.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
The game announcer's voice called out, "Anna Williams Vs. Hwoarang!"
"No! Not my pretty, red-haired biker boy!" she almost pleaded to the game, as though it had personally betrayed her by choosing, if not her favorite fighter to play, her favorite to look at. 17 half expected her to say 'Et tu Hwoarang?' as the battle commenced.
17's first punch was easily blocked by Bra, as her character quickly backpedaled to avoid the blows of 17's fighter. She dodged and blocked better than the computer could, but 17 was quickly locating and exploiting the holes in her defense, using grabs when he got close enough.
At one point, Bra accidentally grabbed 17's fighter instead of dodging around as she had intended, surprising them both as Anna threw Hwoarang, sending him crashing to the ground and lowering his health gauge for the first time since the battle began.
"Sorry!" Bra cried to the downed fighter, who quickly climbed to his feet and renewed his assault.
The first round was over quickly. It was not until halfway through the second round that Bra realized she was going to lose. At that point she put all thoughts of who she was fighting aside and fought back with all her fury. She surprised 17 several times with powerful and brutally quick combos, at one point knocking his fighter to the ground. He was barely able to roll away as Anna's heel came crashing down where his head was only moments before.
Even though they where now evenly matched in their skill, 17 already had a commanding lead. Bra lost the second round and the match having only knocked 17's life bar down halfway.
"Aw, looks like I win," 17 taunted in that annoyingly calm voice of his, "but no hard feelings Princess. Just lucky I guess."
Bra crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at the game.
"So, want to play anything else?"
"No."
17 shrugged. He still had a handful of tokens, and it seemed a waste to spend them on more video games. He headed over to a UFO catcher an popped a token in.
Bra was surprised when a plushy dropped out of the chute. She was even more shocked when it was followed by another, and another. She eventually walked over to watch, and was soon telling him what prizes to grab.
After a little while, they had to ask for some bags to carry the ever-growing pile of prizes.
. . .
Each of them carrying bags full of plushies and their other prizes from the Arcade, and Bra carrying her bag with her new shoes, the dreadful duo headed back to the Saiyan Princess's car. 17 smirked at Bra, who kept her shoes close and held in an unyielding grip. There was no way she was going to let anything happen to her only fashion acquisition of the day.
If he was human, he would have had a heart attack, when the Saiyan Princess actually stopped and dropped her bags to the ground. She stood, staring at a trio of Junior High students talking in the parking lot. She started walking towards them, homing in on the one in the black tracksuit.
"You!" she shouted accusatorily at the boy. "You're the kid that was staring at my underwear earlier!"
"What?!" the girl in the pigtails shouted. "What is she talking about Tou…"
But the jock had already made a break for it, running away as fast as he could.
"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" Bra shouted, trying to go after him, but 17 had already caught up with her and had restrained her from behind. "Let me go! I'm gonna kill the little brat!"
Bra was putting up a good fight trying to escape. She was flailing her arms and legs and actually dropped her purse, the camera/paperweight rolling out. A hand plucked the sphere off the ground, the pigtailed girl hefting the sphere like a baseball.
"Touji Suzuhara, you baka!" She yelled, lobbing the ball at the retreating form. They all watched with amazement as the projectile pegged the jock in the back of the head, dropping the boy to the asphalt with a yelp. The pigtailed girl's redheaded friend let out a loud "Way to go Hikari!" and clapped her friend on the back.
17 released his hold on Bra, who dusted herself off resentfully, picked up her purse, and headed back to the small pile of bags.
17 stood there amazed for a moment, verifying the distance. 85... 87... Almost 90 meters, and hitting a moving target too. "Wow…" he muttered. "That girl's got a good arm."
Bra's car screeched to a halt next to him, the passenger mirror nearly clipping his backside in the process. He glared at her as he got in, and she took off, her tires squealing on the pavement.
"What the hell did you hold me back for?" the Saiyan Princess demanded.
"To keep you from doing something you might regret later." 17 shot back.
"Oh, I was NOT going to regret punching that jerk's skull in," Bra fumed. I swear, I could have killed him."
"Exactly." 17 said. "I don't know if you realize your own strength, Princess. You may be weak compared to most of the people you've grown up around, but if you had hit that guy he would have certainly ended up in the hospital."
"Protecting your fellow baka-hentais?" Bra said, still mad. She was forced to stop at a red light just before the freeway.
"No. As surprising as it might seem, I was protecting your royal rear end." 17 looked directly at her. No sarcastic smirk. No cold glare. Just a look that could only be described as genuine. "Did you really want to have to call home and tell your mother you're in jail for assault, or worse?"
Bra actually flushed a little bit. She hadn't thought about that. She had just been so mad at the time. If 17 hadn't been looking out for her…
The light turned green, and Bra headed onto the freeway, her attitude considerable more subdued than it had been moments before.
"Oh, and I'm not a Baka," 17 added.
It took Bra a moment to notice what he had said, or more importantly, what he had not said.
"EWWWWWW! You admit it! You ARE a pervert!"
"I admit nothing." 17 said with a cocky smirk.
"You didn't deny it!"
"That proves nothing."
"Fine, be that way," Bra said. "You just be sure to stay on your side of the car, and we won't have any problems."
"Fine by me," 17 said as he leaned back in the seat to enjoy the rest of the ride back.
Unfortunately for the two, fate, or a lack of foresight on both their parts, decided to intervene…
. . .
17 grumbled as he reached under the car as far as he could, getting his nice clean shirt covered in roadside dust. He had a pretty good idea of what he needed to do. He just needed to find the car's center of gravity.
"Hey, its your own fault you know!" Bra pointed out.
"My fault?! How is this MY fault?!" He shouted from underneath the car. Sure it kind of WAS his fault, but she had no way to know that and he wanted to know what she was complaining about now.
"Well, if you actually had a decent job and weren't so broke, we could just get some gas," she explained. "But since you don't do any REAL work, this will be a good experience for you.
Growling, he place one hand behind him against the underside of the car. Placing the other beneath his chest, he pushed himself off the ground while lifting the car. "Well excuse me, Princess," he said sarcastically, "but babysitting you isn't exactly a vacation."
"Bleh, bleh, bleh," the Princess mocked. "Just hurry it up and get me home."
"Yes your royal whininess." 17 replied as he took off into the air, Bra's car held aloft.
Bra sat in the driver's seat, fidgeting as 17 slowly flew them back to Capsule Corp. She was bored now that she wasn't driving, and the steering wheel made it so she was unable to stretch her legs. Sliding the seat back and unbuckling herself, she hopped over to the passenger side so she could put her feet up.
The car shook as the center of gravity shifted suddenly and 17 tried to adjust his hold on the car. "HEY!" he shouted. "Stop moving around up there! You want me to drop this thing?!"
Bra had almost immediately buckled herself back up. holding onto anywhere she could for safety and staying as still as possible. But the android's impertinence made her shout back, "You wouldn't dare!"
After the shaking had stopped, Bra let out a nervous breath, releasing her death grip and cautiously stretching herself out.
The car suddenly jerked violently, then plummeted downward, the Saiyan Princess screaming as it fell. It stopped its sudden decent a moment later. It took Bra a moment to calm herself, and her heart. All the color had drained from her face, but once her breathing had returned to normal, her face grew red with anger. "What was that all about?!"
"Sorry, Princess," 17 chuckled from below, imagining the look on her face for a moment, "but I'm carrying a lot of weight here."
"Oh, please," Bra said rolling her eyes. "I know your sister is strong enough to carry a plane. You can't expect me to believe this car weighs more than that."
"I wasn't talking about the car."
5... 4... 3... 2... 1... 17 counted down as he waited, and right on cue the outraged scream filled the air. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! You are DEAD, android! I mean it! When we land you are SCRAP METAL! You hear me?!"
"Gee, you're really not giving me much incentive to land safely now…" 17 said casually, laughing as Bra growled to herself and shut her mouth, at least until they got back on the ground.