Nicholas Bledsoe's Author's Notes: Whew! Took me long enough to get this done. Sorry for the long delay. I thought I'd be done a long time ago, but school, writer's block and technical difficulties kept me behind schedule for a long time. Anyways, lets get on with the show, before the angry villagers attack with their rakes and torches and... EEP!
(ducks as a pitchfork flies overhead and sticks in the wall)
Yeah, those too.
"A New Dance"
Once Bra got back to the mansion, her punishment of 17 began. The crime? Daring to insult the great and powerful Saiyan Princess. The sentence? The silent treatment.
17 couldn't be more delighted.
However, he knew it wouldn't last long. Not only would Bra not be able to stay silent, despite her every intention of prolonging his 'suffering', but they had other things to do the next day. His first day of high school with Bra.
He really wasn't looking forward to it, and not just because he had to go with Bra. He never did like school, at least not when he had been human. He didn't really see how things could be any better than when he had gone.
Oh well. There wasn't much he could really do about it. At least now he didn't really have to worry about grades. He just had to hang around and keep up the appearance of the diligent bodyguard to Bulma. Lucky for him, she hadn't caught on to his plans.
-
"You mean you actually let my brother into your house without an armed escort? And as your daughter's bodyguard?"
"Of course," Bulma said, sipping her coffee. "He's not such a bad kid once you get to know him."
"Kid? you forget that he's almost as old as your son, older if you count our lives from before we were made into androids." 18 pointed out. "And you already said that you suspected it was him that planted that proto-droid in Bra's room."
"Yes, but like I told Trunks and my husband. I don't believe for a second that 17 would ever try to hurt Bra. It was just a little prank to try and scare her."
"I still don't get what you're trying to accomplish with this," Chi-Chi chimed in as she stirred some sugar into her teacup.
"Shouldn't you be trying to stop him?" Videl asked. "I mean, it can't be good for your daughter's well being."
"On the contrary, I've never seen her happier," Bulma said. "I'll admit I was worried at first, but once I discovered it was 17 that did it, I knew there was nothing to worry about. Those two are good for each other, despite the bickering."
"Yeah, she's right," Marron, the fifth and final woman in the room spoke up. "I thought I saw uncle 17 the other day at the mall. I would've said hi, but it didn't seem like him. Normally he's so reclusive and broody, but this time he was actually smiling, and I could swear I heard him whistling."
(Author's note: This was BEFORE his plans blew up in his face.)
"My brother was whistling? And without any smoking debris nearby?" 18 thought about it for a moment, then chuckled lightly to herself. "Maybe he's actually starting to grow up."
"Well, I doubt that," Bulma said. "He IS conspiring with my son to torment my daughter. He just doesn't seem to have the heart to go all the way through with his schemes."
"Really? Trust me. That's a big step for 17," 18 observed.
"Yes, and another good thing is she's been much easier to deal with lately. Do you know how often she's been out past her curfew this month? Twelve times. Whenever she goes anywhere with 17, he always has her back on time."
"You make it sound like you WANT Bra and my uncle to get together," Marron noticed.
"Well, maybe not like that," Bulma said, reluctant to think of her teenage daughter dating an android who's twin sister had a daughter that was already a college graduate. "But its good that she's hanging out with someone who won't let her get away with everything, or worse yet encourage it. You wouldn't believe some of the jerks she's gone out with."
"Oh, believe me, I can believe it," 18 said, looking at her daughter out of the corner of her eye, Marron grinning sheepishly.
"And at least 17's a nice boy," Bulma said. "He's not nearly as… volatile… as my husband can be. He has actually done some very sweet things. Just yesterday, Bra was going on about the new pair of shoes he bought for her."
"A pair of shoes?" 18 said, surprised at her brother's apparent generosity. An amused (or malevolent) smirk appeared on her face. "Giving gifts already? Awww… sounds like my brother's in lo…
She was interrupted by a knock on the door, wondering who it could be. It was raining, and she hadn't heard another car pull up, so whoever it was had either walked or flown through the rain. When she opened the door, she had to look up to see the face of her newest visitor, which was partially obscured by a dark hooded cloak that brushed the ground and completely wrapped around the visitor's shoulders.
She was able to see the green chin of the visitor's face, and the tips of his antennae that stuck out from beneath the hood, so her guest was obviously a Namek. "Yes? can I help you?" she asked politely.
"Sorry to drop by unannounced," the Namek answered. "But I was looking for Bulma and heard she was at a coffee party."
18 could immediately recognize the voice, but was thrown by the almost exuberantly hopeful way he said the word 'coffee'. She invited him inside, and he glided past her towards one of the couches, his cloak pooling beneath him as he sat.
Dende unclipped and removed the cloak, setting it beside him before greeting the other four ladies with a small smile.
"You said you wanted to see me?" Bulma asked.
"Actually, what I wish to speak of concerns you and 18, so this is most fortunate to catch you both together."
"If this is a private matter, we can leave," Videl said setting her cup down on the table.
"No no, that's alright," Dende said. "It isn't anything secret. Well, except to a few people not present at the moment."
"Alright," 18 said. "Can I offer you some coffee?"
A giant mug appeared in Dende's hands so fast it seemed to have been summoned through instant transmission. With a grin that would have looked at home on the face of one of the Son men at a buffet, he said "Yes, please!"
Eyeing the '1 Earth Guardian' logo with curiosity, 18 went into the kitchen to fill it, hoping she wouldn't need to brew an entirely new pot to do so. As she did, Dende grabbed a muffin, which he munched on slowly and calmly as he waited for his 'precious' to be returned to him.
"So," Bulma started. "What is it you wanted to speak to me about."
"A little plan I cooked up," he said after swallowing a bit of blueberry. "But we should wait until 18 gets back with…AH!"
Taking the mug as it was handed to him, Dende thanked his hostess. 18 sat down next to her daughter and said, "So what is it you wanted… to…"
She and the others could only watch with their mouths agape as the Namek proceeded to down the entire contents of the mug. Dende did not stop to take a breath, as he took gulp after loud gulp until the half-gallon mug had been completely drained in only a few moments and then...
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" came the ecstatic whoop of the Earth Guardian. "That hits the spot!"
"Now," he said calmly after setting his mug down on the table, "back to the matter at hand. I wanted to talk to you about your daughter, Bulma. And about your brother, 18."
It took both women a moment to realize they had even been spoken to, so shocked were they by the Earth Guardian's earlier display. 18 was the first to recover, though even as an android she had been stunned by the sight Dende had treated them to. "Wait. What's going to happen to my brother? Does it have something to do with Bra?"
"What did you mean by a plan? What does this have to do with my daughter?" Bulma asked, starting to sound a little worried.
"Calm down, its nothing serious," Dende said to assuage their fears. Both 18 and Bulma seemed to calm considerably.
"I'm just going to dish out a little bit of karma for both of them." Dende concluded.
"NO!" both women shouted.
"You can't! 17's done his best to reform himself. He doesn't deserve it!" 18 argued in he brother's defense.
"Please! I know Bra can be a handful, but she's a good girl. Really! Just give her another chance," Bulma pleaded.
Dende sweatdropped, as both women appealed their family members' cases, surprised in how little faith both seemed to have in their relatives' destiny. "No! I didn't mean karma like that! I just want to…"
He proceeded to explain his plan to everyone in the room. His words were met with stares of disbelief, and with many questions. Some of the questions related to how he planned to accomplish what he had set before them, others were about the unpredictable nature of his two targets.
More than a few questions were directed at the debatable sanity of the Namek.
He tried to answer all the questions as best he could. It took a while, but he eventually convinced them to join with him in his scheme. Even Bulma had to agree that what Dende proposed had merit, even if she was a little reluctant to meddle with her daughter's personal life in this way. "So we're all in agreement?"
The women all nodded.
"Good," Dende said, suppressing the urge to giggle maniacally. "Then Operation: Cupid's Cannon is a go."
(Author's Note: I could just leave the scene here, but why do that when we can have a little fun with another member of 18's houshold…)
The kitchen door suddenly swung open, and out stepped a grinning Krillin. Completely oblivious to the newest visitor, he carried in a huge serving tray and called out, "Okay! Who wants freshly baked cookies?"
He stopped as his eyes met those of the Guardian of the Earth. Both figures blinked. Dende looked down at the frilly pink apron Krillin was wearing. They blinked again.
Dende fell backwards with laughter, pointing at Krillin's attire, while the Z warrior blushed a deep crimson and retreated back to the safety of his kitchen.
-
"Ok android, lets get a few things straight…"
"Oh darn, is my punishment over already?" 17 remarked sarcastically. He had enjoyed the silence while he could. Bra was surprisingly good at keeping her mouth shut. He would have to make sure to get her mad at him more often. But, for now, her mouth was open and functioning at full volume once again. "…and I was just getting used to the silence…"
Ignoring him, Bra continued. "There are a few rules you need to remember. First, you are not to speak to me unless I speak to you first…"
17 took a mental note of the first rule so he could be sure to ignore it later.
"Second, no leering at me in class, at lunch, or during gym. Keep your perverted eyes to yourself."
17 snorted in contempt at her vanity, while the Saiyan Princess continued to rattle off rules.
"Third, no talking to my friends at any time. Fourth, no hanging around me like a lovesick puppy. Fifth, none of that brooding loner crap you try to do. Don't wear the same colors as me. Don't event think about watching me at cheerleading practice. No, you can not carry my books for me. No drooling over the other girls at school. No drooling over the guys at school. Don't act like a snob. Don't do anything disgusting. You cannot sit with me at the popular table. No sitting at the geek table either. Don't talk to anyone that might have it out for me. That means no talking to the Chess Club, the Drama Society, the Chorus, the League of Future Homemakers…
"Yeah, let me file all that under 'Things I don't care about'," 17 said, cutting Bra off.
"Look," The Princess said, jumping in front of him, "these things might not seem important to you, but to a person like me…
"Shallow, vain, neurotic, narcissistic, irritating…" 17 muttered under his breath.
"…they are absolutely critical!" Bra concluded.
"Fine!" 17 said, willing to do anything if it would get her to shut up. "Is that all?"
"Not quite," Bra said, reaching into her backpack and pulling out a list. Not really a list, but more of a scroll, with letters penned in bright red ink.
Ink? List? Hell no. More like a contract with the devil herself, penned in the blood of her victims, her "i"s dotted in little still-beating hearts.
"Now, no threatening blasting or killing the teachers. No talking to the football team. No trying to kill the football team. No trying out for the football team. No trying to DATE anyone on the football team."
"What about your friends on the cheerleading squad?"
"EW! NO!" Bra shouted. She then mumbled to herself "…should've known he'd be one of those guys with the cheerleader fetish."
"No, I do not have a fetish." 17 protested. "But most cheerleaders are cute…" he glanced at Bra out of the corner of his eye "MOST of them…"
Bra growled, but continued to read off her list. "No flying to school. No driving that run-down jeep of yours. If we have to drive, we'll use my car… or borrow Trunksie's. No Blowing up the pool. No blowing up the boys swim team. No DATING the boys' swim team."
17 gave her a weird look. "Why do you keep questioning my sexuality?"
Bra smirked "Just an impression you give off."
"Riiiight… And what's with all the rules, anyway?" 17 asked with a grin.
"Just trying to keep your antisocial tendencies in check"
"Sure. More like trying to keep me all to yourself" 17 said with a grin.
A disgusted yell issued from the Saiyan Princess, as she crumpled up the rest of her list. 17 just grinned, at least until Bra stuffed the list down his shirt and set it on fire.
17 yelped as he slapped at his smoking shirt, finally managing to put out the flames. His skin was virtually invulnerable, but he was already very protective of his shirts, which still bore the logo of the Red Ribbon army. And this shirt was even more expensive, having been custom-embroidered with the Orange Star High School logo.
Having subdued the flames, he glared at the Saiyan Princess, who had continued walking past him. A smirk crossed his face as he shouted, "If you wanted to see me shirtless, all you had to do was ask! No need to wreck a perfectly good shirt!"
"EWWW! As if!"
-
Pan was not in the best of moods as she walked to school. She was not the biggest fan of school in the first place. It wasn't that she was a bad student. She did well in all her classes. It's just that she would rather spend her time training rather than studying. Every time she voiced this fact, her mother would glare at her father. But on top of that was the fact that she had been grounded.
Literally.
For the next month, Pan was not allowed to fly anywhere unless her parents were with her or if it was an absolute emergency. All because some newbie pilot panicked when he saw her and lost control of his airplane. Its not like it was her fault the guy had never seen a flying girl before, and she did help the guy haul his plane out of the bay.
Of course her parents did not take the situation so lightly, leaving her to walk the whole way to school. Its not like it was such a bad thing, but she was used to flying most of the way and just walking the last block or so. But walking to school was one of those things that marked her as a freshman. Only a few upperclassmen she knew walked to school, the rest having cars, even if they served more as a status symbol than anything else.
One of the students in question was Grandpa Goku's student, Uub, who was attending classes at Orange Star High School while he was training with her grandfather. He did it because it was good exercise, and he more or less ran to school.
The only other upperclassman she knew that walked to school was…
"Ewww! As if!" came a disgusted cry from around the corner.
Pan cringed at the voice, and turned her attention toward the sound of the person in question. She saw Bra Briefs up ahead, just turning the corner, and Pan slowed down so they wouldn't have to walk together. Bra was one of those stuents who didn't drive to school only because she didn't dare risk her precious car's paint job to the idiots in the school parking lot. Like anyone woulddare toanger the daughter of the 'Prince of all Saiyans'.
It wasn't that she disliked the so-called 'Saiyan Princess', but she and Bra didn't exactly see eye-to-eye on a number of subjects, and they just seemed to rub each other the wrong way. Their families (or at least hers) always thought they should get along well, but boy were they wrong.
Not wanting to have to deal with Bra Briefs attitude, especially when she really had the urge to blast something, Pan just had to wait…
Hold on just a second, who was that with her?
Pan was fairly certain she had never seen the boy walking with Bra before, though for some reason she felt she should know who he was. Curiosity getting the better of her, Pan jogged ahead to catch up with Bra and her friend.
"Hey!" she called, getting Bra's attention.
Bra rolled her eyes and muttered, "Freshmen…" causing 17 to raise an eyebrow. Bra then put on her best friendly smile and turned to greet Pan.
"Hi Pan. How are you?" she said. She sounded friendly enough, but 17 could almost sense the false sincerity dripping from her words.
"Good," Pan replied, either not noticing or ignoring the artificiality of Bra's friendliness. "Who's your friend?"
"Him?" Bra said, pointing at 17. "Oh, he's just…"
"My name's Juunanagou Gero," 17 said, giving a polite bow and a smile to Pan, "and may I ask your name Miss?"
"Pan Son," she replied, with a smile that seemed far too cheery in Bra's opinion. "Gero… You wouldn't be related to Doctor Gero, would you?"
"Distantly related, if anything," 17 said with a note of disgust. "He took care of me and my sister for a while. I wasn't upset when he was gone."
"Oh…" Pan said, sorry to have hit upon what could only be a touchy subject.
"And to know about the dear Doctor," 17 started in a more upbeat tone, "You would have to be related to Goku."
"Yup!" Pan said, her eyes brightening. She had been certain she had killed the conversation, but was glad for the chance to turn things around. "He's my grandpa. You know him?"
17 nodded and smiled, "Tried to kill him once."
Bra could only stifle a laugh at the shocked look on Pan's face. Up till then she had been glaring and making muted gagging noises as Pan and 17 kept making OBVIOUS attempts at hitting on one another. Not that she cared, but Pan was obviously distracting 17 from his bodyguard duties.
"But then again, who HASN'T tried to kill Goku once or twice. Its not like anyone ever succeeds." He turned to the Saiyan Princess and smirked. "Just ask Bra's dad."
Bra's eye started to twitch, and a barely-visible vein on her forehead began to throb. The shocked look on Pan's face disappeared as she began to giggle. Bra shot a glare at her that she didn't seem to notice.
"Believe me, I have NO intention of going up against your Grandfather," 17 said. "Having one full-blooded Saiyan out for my hide is bad enough."
Make that one and a half, Bra thought as Pan laughed again.
"Well, Grandpa never was one to hold a grudge…"
"Ahem. Anyways…" Bra said interrupting. "Shouldn't you take off that bandana, Pan. Wearing it IS against school dress code."
"And what about what YOUR clothing?" Pan countered, "…or lack thereof? Isn't there something in the dress code about that?"
Bra looked at the outfit she had chosen for the day. "I'll have you know that what I'm wearing is within the bounds of school dress policy."
"Barely," Pan muttered.
"Wait." 17 said. "What's this about your bandana?"
"Oh, some stupid rule the school came up with to discourage the displaying of 'gang colors'," Pan said, the subject obviously a sore one for her.
"Well, you are going to ORANGE Star High," 17 thought aloud. "Couldn't you say you were wearing it out of school spirit?"
"No," Pan said bitterly. "That would be discriminating against the REAL gang members."
Bra smirked evilly. She never did like that bandana pan wore, as she considered it to be a major fashion DON'T.
"Well, guess I'll have to take mine off as well," 17 said as he began untying the bandana from around his neck. He then folded it up and stuck it in his pocket.
He rubbed his bare neck for a moment, then shuddered. "Its weird."
"What?" Bra asked.
"I feel naked now," he whispered.
"EWW! Put it back on!" Bra said as she tried to claw the disturbing words out of her brain.
Pan laughed at the display Bra made, and, feeling a little less self-conscious about it, took off her own bandana.
"I guess it's really not so bad," she said.
"Yeah," 17 said. Pan soon noticed that he was looking at the back of her head
"Hmm? What is it?" Pan asked, wondering briefly if she had a bug in her hair.
"Oh, its nothing. It's just that your hair is really pretty," 17 said. "You should let people see it more often."
With that he walked on ahead, leaving Pan with a growing blush in her cheeks.
-
School was just as he remembered it, at least the little he could remember of it. You had your hyperactive energetic ones, there were the resentful bullies, the mindless drones, the boring geeks….
And then there were the students.
Right now 17 was stuck listening to one of the boring, geeky, mindless drones, who didn't really seem to care for his chosen profession and instead seemed to have a general loathing for his students.
Not that he cared. He was just going to sit back and let the time pass. He didn't need to learn this stuff anyways. It's not like he was going to need it any time soon.
"Now, having read page 223 of your textbook, the solution to the problem on the board should be…" The Sensei stopped mid-drone and glared at the new boy at the back of his class. He had already had an aversion to the latest juvenile delinquent placed in his custody, with his torn jeans, laidback attitude and downright arrogance, but now the punk had the gall to sleep in the middle of his algebra lecture! He was just sitting there with his feet up on the desk, his book sitting like a roof over his face.
"Ahem!" the teacher coughed. "Mister Gero."
A mumbled voice came from beneath the textbook. The teacher growled.
"MISTER GERO!"
"What?" came the calm reply as 17 took the book off his face.
"Since you were paying such CLOSE attention to the text, perhaps you could answer the equation on the board?" The Sensei smirked, knowing he had his prey right where he wanted him.
17 glanced at the board for a moment before laying his head down on the desk. Once he'd gotten comfortable he stated flatly, "162.40"
The Sensei stood there with his mouth hanging open.
"That's assuming you wanted it to the hundredths place value, otherwise its just 162.4"
"Alright," the Sensei said, wondering how 17 had gotten the answer correct. It must have been a fluke. He wrote out a longer, more difficult problem. "How about this equation?"
"124.01"
The Sensei grew red. He knew this kid could not possibly have gotten that answer so fast without cheating, he just knew it. He smirked as a plot crossed his mind.
"All right, Mister Gero," the teacher said as he took up his chalk and placed in incredibly complex series of equations on the board, only this time it wasn't one of the problems from his teacher's edition book. "Since you seem to have the lesson down so well, why don't you come up to the board and solve this. And be sure to show all your work so your fellow students can follow along."
17 rolled his eyes and walked up to the board, grabbing the chalk that was handed to him.
Bra glared at 17. He was doing this on purpose, just to embarrass her. There could be no other explanation. He was going to go up there and make a fool of himself and everyone would know he came to school with her and her social standing at school would be ruined.
17 looked at the numbers for only a few moments, before attacking the board with the piece of chalk. It only took him a few seconds and… "There. That all you wanted?"
The Sensei jerked his head towards the board. The smug look instantly dropped from his face. He had expected it to take several minutes for the equation to be solved, if it was solved at all. Even HE didn't know what the answer was yet, and looking at the board, he knew it would take him a while to figure it out. Grumbling as his students began to snigger at him, he sat down at his desk, took out his calculator, and began working out the problem.
Among the giggling and joking at the teacher's expense, there were whispers and muttering between the girls in the class.
"Oh my god, he's sooooooo cute."
"Look at that hair."
"What a hottie."
"Look at those intense eyes."
"He's so smart."
"He's a dead man."
The source of that last comment sat glaring at 17 from her seat. Leave it to him to get up in front of everyone and show off. It's not like it was that hard, especially with a cybernetic brain.
17 noticed Bra glaring at him, and, not being able to resist the opportunity to drive the Princess crazy, gave her a discreet wave.
Bra's eyes widened and she glanced around to check if anyone had seen it. Of course the guys were all too oblivious to notice anything so subtle, and some of the girls had assumed the wave to be meant for them.
Bra turned back to 17, and stuck her tongue out at him.
17 just flashed a smile, causing all the girls to giggle.
Bra pulled down her eyelid and added that to the tongue.
17 winked at her, and then, to top it off, blew a kiss in her direction.
Bra only barely managed to suppress a shocked noise. With an angry glower on her face, Bra showed 17 both her math and language skills, showing 17, in sign language, how to count to one.
"MISS BRIEFS!"
"eep."
-
Bra growled, grumbled and muttered various curses and death threats as she hunkered over her desk after school. Stupid 17 had landed her in detention. Lucky for him, she only got an hour of detention and she didn't have cheerleading practice today, or else he would have been a crater by now.
But when she got out and tracked him down, there was going to be hell to pay.
And that time was fast approaching. She looked up at the clock with a predatory smirk. Only thirty seconds until she was free, and then she went on a droid hunt. Bra couldn't wait to savor the torment she would unleash on Android 17.
10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…
Wait a minute. Where was the bell? There should have been a bell. There was always a bell at this time of the day! (ok, maybe she had stayed after school a little TOO much) Oh no! The study hall monitor didn't notice! She was too busy reading her stupid romance novel to even care! Why? WHY? Why did all the bad things have to happen to her!
Bra's incoherent whining was too high to be heard by human ears, but it was enough to set up a resonance with the glass face of the clock on the wall.
The monitor heard the glass face of the clock as it cracked, and finally looked up from her book and glanced up at the clock. "Oops. Guess I lost track of the time.
You Think!
"You may leave now Miss Briefs."
Bra practically jumped from her seat. She had a date with a droid, and she didn't want to keep him waiting. She cracked her knuckles as she left the room and …
grumble grumble…
But first, she had to get something to eat.
"Well, they kept you long enough."
Bra turned and faced the smarmy android, just in time to see him throw something at her. She caught it with a yelp and, when it didn't explode, looked down to see what it was.
"Thought you'd be hungry when they let you out, so I ran by Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick and got you something."
Bra was strangely touched by the fact that he cared enough to get her something to eat.
"…and I was just looking for an excuse to go by there and make fun of their uniforms again," 17 said with a malicious chuckle.
Bra ignored his last comment, and instead focused on the task at hand: consuming her meal. She'd make 17's life a living hell later.
17, meanwhile, was already working on a way to beat her to the punch.
-
"No. NO! I won't do it!" Trunks yelled. "You can't make me."
"Is that so?" 17 smirked, knowing he would get what he wanted in the end.
"Look, practical jokes are one thing, but this…" Trunks searched for the words to describe the android's intent, but could think of nothing to describe its full horror. "This THING you are planning is an abomination! It goes beyond cruel! No one deserves to be put through that!"
"Don't lecture me, kid. Even with all I've done, I still didn't deserve the karmatic hell I've been put through."
"But, this is just plain evil." Trunks shook his head. "I won't go through with this."
"You think you can back out now?" 17 said calmly. "If you ruin this, I'll make sure everyone knows who helped me get in the mansion. And who helped me rig Bra's accounts. And who painted Vegeta's gravity chamber pink."
"Wait a minute!" Trunks shouted. "We didn't do anything to my dad's gravity chamber!"
"Consider it a part of your severance package if you decide to back out of our partnership," 17 said with a smirk.
Trunks growled at the crafty android. He knew he was in a no-win situation. If he went along with it, he would be doing something very mean to someone close to him. If not… Well, his dad was likely to kill him first and then beat the answers out of him later after he got wished back to life with the dragonballs.
Trunks thought on it for a second and shrugged his shoulders in resignation. Well, better them than him….
-
For the last week, Bra had spent nearly all her time preparing for Saturday morning. To say she had been shocked at what her brother had told her was an understatement.
(Then)
"Hey, Bra?"
"What do you want?" she said in her annoyed tone.
Trunks growled at her attitude. "Look, As much as I hate to do this, you're the only one left that I can ask on such short notice."
"Oh god. What did you do now?" Bra said accusatorily, as if Trunks had blown up their dad's gravity chamber (again…).
"Nothing!" He shouted, suddenly feeling a headache coming on. "Goten just called and asked me if I knew anyone he could go to this dance thing of his with him."
"Goten?" Bra murmured.
"Yeah. Sounds like everyone he called was out of town or busy."
"Dancing with Goten?"
"Yeah, and since you were the only one I could think of on such short notice, he was wondering if you were busy on Saturday, and if you weren't would you like to go out with him."
Bra just stood there for a second with a shocked look on her face, followed by disbelief, then suspicion, then a proud smile, and just as Trunks was about to ask what her answer was, she tackled him with a hug only a Saiyan could survive before skipping off to call Goten herself.
(Now)
Bra was thrilled, to say the least. She had always liked her brother's best friend, though it had been little more that a schoolgirl crush. As she had grown older she had started to see Goten as more of a geek. A muscular Saiyan geek, but a geek nonetheless. Still, there was no harm in going out dancing with him…
At least not while Daddy was in another timeline…
She went to her wardrobe, searching through the near endless selection of clothes she had available. Not that she really needed to. She already knew exactly what dress, what boots, and what makeup she wanted for tomorrow. The dress was one of her more dazzling numbers, not as daring as some of the clothes she wore to clubs, but stunning nonetheless. She really didn't want anything too risqué.
After all, this was Goten she was going out with. The boy was so reserved, he'd probably have a coronary by just seeing her navel.
After choosing her clothes and grabbing her pajamas, Bra headed to the bathroom and the shower. Humming happily, she went through a complete beauty regiment, exfoliating and cleansing and moisturizing until her skin was absolutely flawless (not that it EVER had any flaws) and giving her hair the deluxe treatment. She shampooed with three different, specially balance shampoos, all formulated to bring out the natural brilliance of her lustrous, silky cerulean hair.
She then reached for the conditioner, flipping the cap open and inhaling the powerful scent of lavender. Squirting a little in her hand, she massaged it into her scalp and hair, being certain she missed not one strand. She then rinsed out her hair and reapplied the conditioner. She left the conditioner in this time, combing it into her hair, even going so far to condition her eyebrows, before putting on her pajamas.
So, with the scent of lavender lulling her senses, Bra lay down and drifted off into a peaceful sleep, bishonen-filled dreams dancing in her head.
-
Bra's alarm clock kicked on promptly at eight the next morning, the radio playing one of the local stations, a popular love ballad by "The Teenage Wolves" wafting through the air. Bra rolled over as lead singer Yamato Ishida crooned to her through the speaker. She sighed, half-asleep, the sounds of reality blending with her dreams. "Heehee…" she giggled, "Matt…you know I can't….yaaaaawn…. sleep when you serenade me…."
She snuggled closer to her 'dream-boy', whom she, and only she, got to call by his cutesy Americanized name. Her ear came to rest near the speaker as she snuggled her cheek against one of the pillows resting against the nightstand. She sighed contentedly as Yamato's song came to an end and he whispered the final loving words to her.
"AND THAT WAS 'YAMATO AND THE TEENAGE WOLVES' SINGING THEIR NUMBER ONE HIT 'IN MY ARMS TONIGHT'! I'M MR. WONEDE…"
"AAAAAHHHH!" BLAM!
Bra's Alarm clock quickly became a charred blast mark on the opposite wall. The suddenly wide-awake Saiyan Princess glaring at the now empty nightstand. She took a couple of ragged breaths, making a mental note to hunt down and kill that obnoxious DJ, and keep blasting his replacements until the station finally hired a young hot guy with a sexy voice that she could actually stand waking up to in the morning.
But first, breakfast.
Not bothering to change out of her pajamas, or even look in a mirror to straighten out her hair, Bra wandered downstairs and into the kitchen. After all, it was just her family that would see her. She'd worry about how she looked after she got some food in her grumbling stomach.
She walked past her mother, who was reading the paper, and Trunks, who was stuffing his face with marshmallow cereal while he read the comics. Despite being almost thirty, he never seemed to want to grow up. Both the other present members of the household were already fully dressed, both touring the newest of Capsule Corp.'s high-energy research facilities in the mountains near the North Capital later that afternoon.
Bra, having better manners than her brother, took a glass from the cupboard before grabbing the juice out of fridge. She checked the carton and, seeing that it was full (a good sign her brother hadn't already drank straight from it), poured herself a glass.
"Bra?" her mother said. "While you're up would you get me another…"
Bulma's voice trailed off and her coffee mug fell out of her hand and shattered against the ground with a loud crash. Bra jerked her head towards the sound, and saw her mother staring at her, her mouth agape and her eyes wide with shock.
"What?" Bra asked. "What is it?"
Bulma pointed a shaking hand, and Bra looked back over her shoulder. "What? I don't see what you're looking at!"
Bulma, still staring, reached over and tugged on Trunks' sleeve, causing him to put the comics down. "What is…Whoah!"
Bra stared at the two of them, getting annoyed as Trunks started to snigger. "What the Hell is so funny!" Bra shouted.
"Hehe… Wait 'til dad gets home," Trunks giggled. "He'll be so proud that his little girl has finally gone Super Saiyan."
"WHAT?" Bra screamed as she ran for the nearest mirror, her mother finally cracking and laughing at Trunks' last remark.
Bra's scream echoed throughout the house when she finally found a mirror. "My hair… What happened to my pretty hair!"
She was blonde… golden, flaxen, Goldilocks-in-Malibu blonde! With the way her hair was sticking out right now, she did look like a Super Saiyan, BUT THAT WAS BESIDE THE POINT! She was BLONDE! Every strand, every root, every perfectly smooth fiber shined with a golden gleam! Even her eyebrows! How could this have possibly happened?
No, that didn't matter right now. This was an emergency. She had to get to a salon immediately. Bra rushed back upstairs to her room. She just needed to throw on a dress, some shoes, maybe a trench coat, a hat, sunglasses, and maybe see if mom had invented a cloaking device she could borrow…
Blink.
…
Blink.
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY WARDROBE!"
-
Meanwhile, a certain android was busy putting a certain sacrificial shrine to shopping into safe storage.
"Dammit… Fit, damn you. FIT!" 17 shouted, as he stomped up and down on the wardrobe. He had tried everything he could, but the wardrobe was just too big to shove into the dumpster out behind the Capsule Corp. laboratory. This had been his last resort, after discovering it would not fit in the storage garage he had planned to use.
It wasn't bad enough that the damn thing weighed a ton, but he and Trunks had actually been forced to remove the windows in Bra's room while she slept to get it out of the house. 17 was about to give in and just blast the thing into oblivion, though that would mean Bra would have to replace every article of clothing, which would mean more shopping.
"Well, I can always find a nice cave to ditch it in…" 17 said scratching his head.
"Excuse me, what are you doing?"
NO! WITNESSES! Okay, don't panic. Just turn around calmly and casually, and blast them. No evidence, no witnesses, no mess (aside from some scattered ash) and no problems. Smiling, 17 turned and prepared to vaporize his troubles away.
Goku's wife! BIG PROBLEM!
"Umm… Well, you see…" 17 said as he tried to think up a lie, and think it up quick. "There's… a light… Yeah, a light! …in this wardrobe that won't light on one side. So I'm, uhhh…" Damn. That still didn't give him an excuse to ditch it in the garbage.
"Right. Like I'm supposed to believe that," Chi-Chi said as Videl came around the corner. Damn. Now 17 had TWO of the most dangerous women in the world as witnesses to his crime.
"Wait a minute… I know who you are!" Chi-Chi exclaimed as her eyes widened. "You're Android 17!"
17 felt as though he was actually sweating. He was certain Chi-Chi remembered him from the time he had been hunting down her husband along with 18 and 16.
Chi-Chi broke into friendly smile. "So, I take it being Bra's bodyguard isn't as stress-free as you thought it would be."
"Huh?" 17 said in shock.
"Oh, Bulma told us all about it," she answered. "Getting back at her for something she did I take it?"
"Uh, yeah..." 17 said, still confused.
"Hmph. Well, it's not like she doesn't need to be taken down a few pegs," Videl said with a smirk.
"Oh, Videl. You know she's not a bad girl" Chi-Chi said in Bra's defense.
They all jumped as a horrified shriek rang out from the Briefs family home.
"Uh oh. Guess it's too late to pretend you never snuck it out of the mansion," Chi-Chi said. "Look, if you need a place to hide this for a while, I know a good spot."
"Really?" 17 said, still in shock over the whole thing. "That would be great."
"Videl?" Chi-Chi said turning to her daughter in law. "Do you think you could show 17 the way to Kami's lookout? I'm sure Dende will be kind enough to let us use the time chamber for a few days."
"No problem." Videl said, grinning at the chance for a little harmless fun." It should only take a half hour or so. I'll meet you at the mall later?"
17 cringed at the mere mention of that place, but Chi-Chi nodded to Videl, who immediately floated into the air and waited for 17. After 17 had hefted and balanced the wardrobe, they both took off in the direction of Kami's lookout.
As soon as they were out of sight, Chi-Chi pulled a cell phone from her purse and hit the speed dial. "Yes, this is agent 'Milk'. Phase One is underway. Agent 'Triple-6' is on the way with the package."
"Excellent, agent 'Milk'," the voice on the other end said. "We will move on to Phase Two shortly. Until then, keep up the good work. 'Yoda', out."
-
A hundred kilometers away, and several kilometers up, "Yoda" grinned as he hung up. He steepled his green fingers in front of his face.
With this phase out of the way, it would only be a matter of time before the other pieces of his plan fell into place. All it would take was a little push here or there, and the desired outcome would be inevitable. "Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen."
His maniacal laughter echoed through the halls of Kami's lookout as his intended victim approached, cargo in hand.
-
Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT! Where the HELL did her WARDROBE go! Bra had given up on finding her wardrobe, but she at least hoped to find some clothes. ANYTHING! She kept digging through her closet, her dresser, even under her bed. There was nothing. NOTHING!
Correction: almost nothing.
There was a single outfit in the closet, but there was no way in hell she would wear it, not unless it was an absolute emergency.
The doorbell rang out, and Bra froze.
She could hear her brother's obnoxious voice from downstairs call out, "Hey, Goten!"
Oh good Dende. Not today. Why did this have to happen today?
"No, Bra's not ready yet. She's still primping her hair, I think." She could almost hear the suppressed laughter in Trunks' voice.
"Oh, dammit…" She said. Either she wore the clothes she had available, or she met Goten in her Silk Pajamas and told him the date was off.
Setting her jaw in a mask of determination, she grabbed the clothes from the closet and started to change. She was a Saiyan Princess, and a Saiyan never admitted defeat.
-
It had been about fifteen minutes since Goten had shown up and Trunks and Bulma were doing there best to make him feel at home. Well, Bulma was. Trunks… Well, Trunks was just waiting for Bra to come down and see how Goten reacted.
"I must say, Goten, you look very stylish today," Bulma commented.
Goten, however felt rather out of place in the simple gray suit he was wearing. "Yeah, I wanted to wear something else, but I wasn't sure what Bra would wear, and Mom said this wouldn't clash with…"
Goten's voice trailed off and his eyes went wide when he saw Bra step into the room. "Wow. Bra, you look…"
"Yeah… Sorry about that," she said, suddenly feeling even more self-conscious than she had. "I had problems with my closet, and something weird happened with my hair..."
"No, you look GREAT!" he said with that typical Son grin and an enthusiasm that just couldn't be faked. "I was worried you wouldn't want to go traditional for this."
"Tradition… Huh?" Bra said, genuinely confused. The dress she was wearing was old, or at least old-fashioned; a blouse with billowing white sleeves, a dark green vest, and a matching skirt that came complete with a sewn-in red apron. It was, at least in her opinion, hideous.
"Well, that makes me feel a bit overdressed," Goten said. He immediately started unbuttoning his jacket. Bra was shocked, especially when he started taking off his pants. Oh good Dende… Goten Son was stripping in the middle of her family's living room!
Underneath he was wearing a set of dark green shorts. He took off his jacket…
It's a bird…
…loosened his tie and tore open the snap closures on his white shirt…
It's a plane…
…revealing what he was wearing underneath.
It's Superdork, Bra thought as she looked at the dark green lederhosen Goten was wearing under his suit the entire time he had waited with her mom and brother.
"Wow! We match almost perfectly!" Goten said with a wide grin. In fact, all he would have to do is go Super Saiyan and the two of them would look like a matched set.
Oh good Dende… Bra thought, just now realizing that not only was Goten not put out by what she was wearing, but he seemed to think it was appropriate attire for what he had planned, …what kind of dance are we going to dressed like this?
"Ahem!"
Everyone turned their heads toward the new voice. 17 stood in the doorway, a backpack slung over one shoulder. "Well, don't you two look nice."
Bra glared at the irksome android. 17 just smiled, though the smile decreased and finally dissapeared as he turned his attention to Goten. "May I have a word with you, Mister Son?"
Goten actually looked a bit nervous as 17 led him into the next room.
"Okay, lets get a few things straight before you leave," 17 said setting his backpack down on the floor. "Bulma has put me in charge of Bra's safety, which means, by all rights, I should be tagging along with you two today. However, since I don't think Bra would appreciate my presence, I'm willing to let you two go by yourselves."
"Ok." Goten said.
"But," 17 said holding up a finger, "this means I am holding you personally responsible for her safety. I want her to come home in the same condition she left, or you'll wish you just had Vegeta to deal with."
Goten gulped. Only Vegeta himself could have exuded such an intimidating aura. But where Vegeta would project raw anger, 17 remained cold and emotionless, which was even more disturbing, if it was possible.
"You will not touch her in any inappropriate manner. 'Look but don't touch' would be better. In fact, don't even look. That is the best way to guarantee your safety." 17 turned away from Goten, but continued to speak as he dug around in his backpack. "You are to have her home before eleven. Any later, and I go Saiyan hunting. And finally…"
Goten waited for the death blow.
17 turned back with a smile and handed a small cardboard box to Goten. "…have fun, and be sure to get plenty of pictures of the two of you. I'm sure both Bra and her family would love that."
Goten looked down at the fairly state-of-the-art disposable camera 17 had handed to him, surprised by the android's generosity. Dang, he thought. I didn't even know they made seventy-two shot cameras.
"Now, hurry up and get going," 17 said. "Don't want to keep the lady waiting."
Trunks, 17 and Bulma gave the couple a cheery sendoff, Trunks and 17 going a little over-the-top in the cheery department.
"I wish I could see Bra's face when they get there," 17 said as he kept waving.
"Hehe. I don't know who to feel sorry for, Bra or Goten." Trunks said through a grin.
"By the way, that was a nice touch," 17 said. "I thought putting peroxide in Bra's conditioner wasa showstopper, but finding a dress that matched Goten's lederhosen was pure genius."
"I didn't do that," Trunks said, the cheer dropping from his voice. "I thought it was you."
"But if you didn't do it, and I didn't do it, then who…" They both turned to the only other person in the room.
Bulma looked at the two of them and simply smiled. She then turned and walked back into the mansion, whistling innocently.
"Trunks," 17 said, "I think we have a problem."
-
I must be cursed, Bra thought. There can be no other explanation for it. Of course, that had to be it. Why else would she be spending the entire day in the home for infinite losers…?
…AKA, The West City 22nd Annual Polka Festival and Kielbasa cook-off.
The smell of various sausage recipes filled the air, along with the foul odor of sauerkraut.
Goten, being the quintessential Son, was hungry the moment the scent of food hit his half-Saiyan nostrils. He immediately wanted to buy sample the cuisine, and asked Bra if she had wanted to go with him and get something. Bra, not wanting to get any closer to the sauerkraut than she absolutely had to, declined.
Instead, she sat on a park bench, watching as people danced to the annoying music, the accordion playing loudly in an attempt to drown out any appeal the band might otherwise have had.
A red-haired girl sat down on the bench next to Bra, fanning herself with her hand as she tried to catch her breath. She was wearing a dress similar to the one the Saiyan Princess wore, save that its cut and color was much more flattering to the young woman's figure. The white sleeves of her blouse and the front of her apron were embroidered with small flowers, while her dress was a deep aqua that complemented the girl's eyes.
Bra looked at the girl for a minute, sure she recognized her from somewhere. "Don't I know you?"
"Huh?" The girl said, just now noticing Bra.
"Ah! I know why," Bra shouted. "You were talking to that pervert at the mall!"
"What!"
"That kid that was staring at my underwear. You were hanging out with him!" Bra said. She then got an appalled look on her face. "He's not your boyfriend, is he?"
The girl looked confused look on her face, quickly followed by comprehension, then disgust, "EWWWW! Ackk! There is no way in Hell I would go out with that baka-hentai Suzuhara!"
"Oh," Bra said. "And here I was hoping I'd get a chance to beat some sense into him and his friend."
"Oh don't worry. His new girlfriend will take care of that idiot's bad habits," The girl said, as a slim, dark-haired boy managed to pry his way free of the crowd of dancers and plop on the bench next to the red haired girl.
"Finally. What was taking you so long?" The girl said with an impatient look.
"Can't… breath… Need…break… Too much… dancing…" he managed to pant.
"Well, if you didn't want to dance, you shouldn't have come" the girl huffed.
The boy opened his mouth to defend himself, but could only wheeze and looked as though he were about to pass out. He took a few deep breaths before trying to speak again. "I wanted to dance with you, not every crazed woman in the crowd. The whole reason I took the time to find out about this festival and get my mom to drive us here was so I could spend time with you."
The girl's glare disappeared and was replaced by a small smile and a slight blush. The tenderness of the moment was quickly broken by… (if you can't guess who, then you haven't been paying attention)
"So, I take it you got dragged to this thing for a boy, too?" Bra commented, still bitter about being tricked.
"Huh?" the girl said.
"The stupid clothes, the bad food, the obnoxious music. Trust me, no boy is worth this kind of hell," Bra continued, "especially not a shrimp like this"
The red-haired girl growled, her eye twitching.
"Now. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go see if I can find my date and see what entertainment this archaic culture has to offer. There's got to be something fun to do in this dump."
"Das…" the girl said as she stood, her fist shaking, "das…das Hexe!" (German Translation : That…that…that WITCH!)
"Asuka, calm down,"
"Did you hear what that Hure said!" (Translation unavailable: Let's just say it's bad and leave it at that.)
"Asuka, she didn't mean anything by it," The boy said as he tried to restrain her.
"She insulted my cultural heritage!" the angry German girl said. "I'm supposed to let her get away with that!"
"No, but… Wait a minute! You insult MY culture all the time!"
"That's beside the point," The girl shouted, dragging herself free of the boy's grasp. But Bra had already disappeared into the crowd.
"Shinji no Baka!" she yelled."You let her get away."
"Hey, we both know you would have made mincemeat out of her," he said placing a hand on her shoulder. "Let's just forget about it and try to enjoy the rest of… hey, isn't that our English teacher?"
"Huh?" The girl looked and spotted who he was talking about. "What's Misato doing here?"
"Looks like she's heading into one of the pavilions. What does 'Bier Trinkend Wettkampf' mean?" (German Translation: Beer Drinking Contest)
A smirk appeared on the girl's face. "Oh, this I have got to see. Come on, Shinji!"
With a yelp, the boy was yanked off his feet and towed towards the pavilion.
-
Bra was getting tired of searching for Goten. She was able to narrow down the places to look by homing in on his ki signature, but her skills were not nearly polished enough to find him. Now she was just wandering the crowds in a vain attempt to find him, which she had been doing for the last half hour.
"Hey! Bra!"
The Saiyan Princess turned and saw Goten jogging towards her. Maybe her luck was improving.
"Hey, where did you go? When I got back you were gone," Goten said.
"You were gone for almost an hour. I got tired of waiting."
"Oops. I had no idea I was gone that long. I guess I got distracted by all the food."
Bra rolled her eyes. Why was she not surprised? Well, at least she had someone to help alleviate her boredom now. It was about then that she noticed a strange smell coming from Goten's shirt. "What is that smell? Did you spill sauerkraut on yourself!"
"Oh that," Goten said. "Well after all sausage I decided to get something to drink, but the only drinks I could find were from this guy selling some kind of meat on a stick."
"What is it? It smells terrible."
Well, the only things he had to drink were Mountain Dew and Crab Juice…"
"EWW!"
"I know!" Goten said. "That's why I got the Crab Juice."
Bra stared at him with a look of disbelief.
"…guess I must have spilled some when I was drinking it."
Bra rolled her eyes. "Come on. Lets go find something to do."
"Wait, there's something I want to show you," Goten said taking her hand Come on!"
They began to make their way through the crowd, but a voice called out, "Hey! Goten! Marron!"
Bra froze, a vein on her forehead twitching. Did… someone… just… call… me… 'MARRON'! Oh HELL no!
Goten turned, not noticing the deadly buildup of anger in Bra. "Dad? Mom? What are you doing here?"
"I just 'hic' came to try the food," Goku slurred. He looked to be more than a little drunk, a red and green band tied around his head to keep his hair out of his eyes. He looked at the young blonde girl his son was with, squinting as he tried to recognize her face. "Oops, sorry Bra. I thought you were someone else. You look different somehow… New 'hic' haircut?"
Bra ignored his comment. Goten turned and asked his mother, "What's wrong with Dad?
"Your father tried entering the drinking competition." Chi-chi explained, supporting Goku with one of his arms over her shoulders. "He lost to some woman with purple hair. He called your brother, then Gohan called Videl and I at the mall to come here. Videl is waiting at the entrance to meet your brother."
"You gonna take Dad home?"
"No, we're going to enter them in the sausage eating competition." Chi-chi said, readjusting her grip on the tipsy Saiyan. "If we're lucky, they'll stuff themselves and we won't have to cook so much for dinner tonight."
"Okay. Well, good luck." Goten said. "I want to show Bra the souvenir booth I found."
"Have 'hic' fun you two!" Goku shouted.
"So where is this booth?"
"Huh? Oh Yeah!" Goten said, having found a way to derail his train of thought in only a matter of seconds.
He grabbed her hand and flew off toward the booth (not literally flying, but moving fast enough to give the illusion of flight)
The booth was not exactly impressive. A few knickknacks, some t-shirts, some really ugly beer steins, but nothing really remarkable. "I don't get it, what's so special about this place?"
"It has these!" Goten said. Bra turned around and yelped, finding herself staring into a pair of huge eyes surrounded by a mass of feathers and a razor-sharp felt beak.
"What the hell is that!" Bra gasped.
"Isn't it great?" Goten gushed. "I've been looking everywhere for one, but never could find any. Look! Look what it does!"
He squeezed the bizarre creature's wing and set it down on the ground. It let out a shrill crow, then began strutting around in a circle, its beak wiggling as it flapped its tiny wings. Then, much to Bra's horror, it began clucking, but not any normal clucking. No, it began clucking out a tune.
Bra had to resist the urge to punt the little dancing bird. Oh… good… Dende…, she thought, Its that stupid chicken dance song! It wasn't trunks that had reprogrammed her phone, it was Goten!
A horrifying truth suddenly struck Bra with the force of a freight train. Goten Son, her brother's best friend, the boy she had a crush on since before junior high, was a Polka-loving idiot.
"Oh Cool! Look! They have them in other colors!" Goten shouted.
Bra could only scream in horror as an entire rainbow-colored flock of the clucking creatures surrounded and descended upon her in a crowd of polka horror.
-
"…and then he took me back to the center plaza and tried to dance! I swear, I thought I would be sick from all the spinning around."
The rest of the girls at the lunch table just sat there with their jaws open in amazement. "I don't believe it," one of the girls finally said.
"Believe it," Bra said. "There are even pictures to prove it." (despite her best attempts to 'dispose' of Goten's disposable camera.)
"But, I don't get it," one of the girls said. "I thought you and Juunanagou Gero…"
"Eww! No! My mom just hired him to be my bodyguard
"You go out with Goten Son this weekend, AND you have a hottie like that as your bodyguard! Bra, you have all the luck." One of the others gushed."
Bra grumbled to herself as she looked over at the android in question. She had no idea why they would think she was dating 17. He was two tables over, chattering away with Pan. It had become commonplace to see those two together lately, always talking, or joking, or… something!
17 and Pan had become best buddies almost immediately. It made sense, they were at about the same social rung as each other, and had about the same interests, namely games, fighting, games, and a lack of fashion sense. Even so, they could show a little courtesy and not be so happy about it. You would assume everyone would think those two were dating. Everywhere she turned, she saw them together, and it was driving her nuts!
Its not like she actually cared if those two hung out together, but 17 was supposed to be her bodyguard! He wasn't being paid to goof off!
Bra cringed as Pan laughed at some stupid joke 17 had made, pressing her fork into the tray until the end snapped off (which was saying something, as the fork was metal). That's it! she was just going to ignore those two from now on.
Swiping an unused fork from across the table, Bra continued her meal with a machinelike mentality. She didn't even look up as a shadow fell across her table.
"Yo. Bra"
"What," the Saiyan Princess said as she looked up with an annoyed glower at the fool who had dared interrupt her meal.
The guy's name was Vash, and he did go by the moniker "The Stampede", but he bore no resemblance the anime character of the same name. He was the starting center for the school's varsity football team, and he got the handle "Stampede" from crushing his opponents like a thundering herd. The best way to describe the guy would be to call him a mountain and to call his looks "rugged" would be like calling the ocean "damp".
Vash had a square head, both shaped and textured like a brick, with a patch of fiery red hair perched atop his skull, which was used for little more than giving him someplace to wear a hat. He was a solid mass of muscle, including the space within his skull. He was a man of few words, mostly for a distinct lack of vocabulary (think of him as a young Recoome, but with none of the charm or intelligence).
"So, you, me, Prom. Whatcha say?"
Bra looked at him, trying to determine whether or not he was joking. Turning back to her lunch with a noise of disgust, she muttered, "In your dreams…"
"Scuse me? I don't think you heard me. I said I want you to go to the prom with me."
"And I was saying that I don't really care." Bra growled as she stood up from the table. There was no way in hell she was going out with this guy, and she had three very good reasons: One, if she dated anyone from the football team, it would probably be the star quarterback, but no one less than a linebacker.
Two, she was a fan of the real "Humanoid Typhoon" and she hated the fact that this pea-brained muscle-headed mutant insisted on using the nickname "The Stampede". The very idea that he was named "Vash" was an insult to one of her favorite anime characters.
And three? The guy was an ABSOLUTE JERK!
A quality which was about to make itself apparent.
"Hey! Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!" The cranially-challenged cretin shouted, grabbing hold of Bra by the wrist.
Bra snapped her head around and glared at Vash. "Let go of my arm," she growled.
"Or what?" he said with a smirk. "You'll have your daddy come and beat me up!"
Ok, that was it. She may have been a daddy's girl, but no one dared to accuse her of it to her face. To everyone else, it looked as thought the two were locked in a staring match, each daring the other to blink. In reality they both were struggling. Bra wasn't about to let some asinine freak of a human make her lose her cool, and just glared at him while trying to force her arm free without making a big show of it.
Vash, on the other hand, wasn't about to lose to a girl. Bra may have been a half-Saiyan, and only partially trained, but she was still very strong. It was only through his abnormally dense muscle mass (which matched his abnormally dense skull) that Vash was able to hold on.
It looked as though neither would give in until…
"Excuse me, but I don't think the girl likes how you're holding on to her."
Bra actually blinked in surprise when 17 walked up and tapped Vash on the shoulder. The scene just looked wrong. She knew he was an android, she knew he was stronger than some of the greatest fighters, hell, stronger than most the great fighters in the galaxy…
But compared to the massive football player, 17 looked like a toy.
"I don't think its any of your business, buddy. So get lost!" With that he gave 17 a good shove, sending him sliding back into a table.
"Now," he said turning his attention back towards Bra, "as for you…"
He found himself staring into a pair of blue eyes, but they weren't Bra's.
"Sorry," 17 said, "but I'm making it my business."
It was impossible. No one could move that fast. Surprised by how fast the punk had moved and angry that someone dared to defy him, Vash threw a punch with his free hand. The blow landed squarely in the middle of 17's face.
17 hid a smirk as Vash yelped clutching his now injured hand with the other one.
This, of course, left Bra free to escape. She immediately took the opportunity, finding herself backed up against one of the tables. One of her hands came to rest atop one of the heavy lunch trays. Grabbing it in both hands, she turned her attention back to her bodyguard and his opponent.
She cursed as she found her path blocked by her fellow classmates, who had quickly gathered around the scene chanting, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
"Get out of my way you idiots!" she shouted, trying to push her way through. But short of actually hitting someone, there was no way she was going to get a clear path to the fight. She could only sit back and watch.
17 just stood there, his hands in his pockets, while Vash shook his bruised hand. "Well? Are you done babying yourself yet?"
The lineman snapped, lunging at 17. With a roar he swung his meaty fist at the android. 17 simply sidestepped the attack. "You know, a lot of people have tried fighting me before…"
The meathead tried to backhand 17, which 17 merely backed away from, allowing the blow to pass by with only a light breeze brushing his black hair. "…better men than you…"
Vash swung at 17's head. 17 just ducked.
"…and…"
With an aggravated yell, Vash tried punching 17 in the gut. This time the blow connected, 17's abdomen caving in noticeably, and Vash grinned in triumph. He leaned closer so he could hear the agonized gasp of his victim as he tried to breathe.
"…even the worst among them would have been more worthy to bear the name of the 'Humanoid Typhoon' than you are," 17 whispered, so that only Vash could hear. The lineman's eyes widened with shock as 17 smirked then widened again as 17's fist connected with his gut.
17 then grabbed the little patch of hair on the top of the football player's head, throwing the lineman's head up and then sweeping his legs out from under him so that he landed flat on his back.
Vash gasped for breath as he lay on his back, stars dancing across his vision. As his vision cleared, a figure standing over him came into focus, his black hair silhouetted against the skylight.
"Get up." 17 said. Vash coughed and tried to sit. 17 rolled his eyes and offered his hand to help him up.
Vash grinned inwardly. The punk may have been fast, but no one in the school was as strong as he was, except those Saiyan half-breeds. He took 17's hand and began to squeeze in an attempt to crush it into a bloody pulp.
17 smirked darkly, and squeezed right back until he saw the shock on Vash's face and heard a few bones pop out of place. "You're a disgrace to the name 'Vash the Stampede'," 17 said with a note of smug satisfaction, "Goodbye!"
And with that he sent the terrified lineman screaming through the cafeteria's skylight.
There was a moment of horrified silence as Vash's cries faded. Then the volume increased as he began to descend. There was a loud thump as he landed on the roof, then the football player let out a miniscule "ow…"
A cheer went up through the cafeteria. Students crowded around 17 and a couple tried to hoist him up on their shoulders (much to the detriment of their backs).
"That's enough!" A commanding woman's voice called out, creating instant silence in the cafeteria. A small, unimposing old woman made her way through the sea of students. She marched right up to 17, who was the obvious center of the commotion.
"What is the problem here?" she demanded.all
"It wasn't his fault, Principal Genkai." One student yelled. "Vash grabbed Bra Briefs and Juunanagou tried to help."
"Yeah," another said. "Vash started it."
"I don't care, who started it," The principal said, her hands clasped behind her back. "fighting on school grounds will not be tolerated."
"You," she said, pointing at 17. "My office. Now."
Bra shuddered. She always likened Principal Genkai to her father's stories of Frieza. Even Genkai's voice was exactly what she imagined Frieza sounded.
The principal looked up at the broken skylight. "I'll deal with our other troublemaker after they peel him off the roof."
After they were gone, one of her friends leaned over to whisper in Bra's ear. "That's some bodyguard you have."
"Yeah…"
-
17 was surprised by the principal's office. He had suspected the old woman would be one of those types to have her office decorated with flowers, or ceramic cats, or maybe pictures of her grandchildren. The walls were lined with frames, but inside the frames were newspaper clippings. There was a shelf full of trophies, medals, even what looked like a wrestling belt.
"Sit down. Mister Gero."
17 sat and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"So, what happened?"
"He hit me, so I hit him back." 17 said. With a shrug. "He just picked a fight he couldn't win."
The woman sighed. "I guess I should be used to dealing with boy's like you by now. Always causing so much trouble."
"You know nothing about me." 17 snorted.
"Oh really?" the woman said. "I know exactly what you are."
If you knew what I was, 17 thought, you'd probably faint.
"Let me guess. You're the tough guy in your family. Bad to the bone. Rotten to the core." She sat back in her seat. "But when it comes down to it, you can't help but be a hero. It goes against everything you stand for, but you can't help yourself,"
17 stared at her. "Riiiiiiiiiiiiight."
The woman just shook her head. "There's no use talking to dimwits like you."
She stood up and turned away. 17 looked around at the news clippings on the wall.
"You'll serve one hour of detention this after school this afternoon."
17 looked back at her. "Why so lenient? I thought I was trouble."
"Yes, but like the others said, Vash started it." She looked at him. "Personally, I always disliked the boy. You can go."
"Just one question." 17 said.
"Yes?"
"The person in that photo," he said, pointing to a photo of a small figure, a cloth wrapped around the face of the figure. One eye of the person was barely visible from beneath the shadows of the mask. Another man held the figure's hand aloft, and there looked to be a cheering crowd in the background.
"Oh that," she said. "That was me a long time ago. That was the time I won the world martial arts tournament."
"What?" 17 said, shocked.
"Yes. It was an uphill battle, but I beat out a lot of famous fighters. Even Hercule Satan and Jackie Chun." She chuckled. "Of course, I surprised Chun with my Spirit Shotgun technique, and Hercule was a joke back then."
He's still a joke, 17 thought. Just no one knows it.
"Now, get back to class, or I'll tack on another hour to your detention."
"Yes ma'am." 17 said, having a good deal more respect for the woman.
-
After his detention, 17 was less than surprised to find Bra had already left. He was about to head back to Capsule Corp., when a text message hit his cell phone. They must have had reception blockers in the school.
The message simply said, "I know you have no fashion taste, so I took the liberty of redecorating your cabin while you were in detention. Consider it a thank you for all you've done."
Panicked, 17 flew straight to his cabin. He had no idea how bra had found where he lived, but he had to know what kind of damage had been done. He landed on the porch, threw open the door, and when he looked inside, he saw red.
…and pink.
…and purple.
…and lace, and ribbons.
His phone rang, and he answered it with automated motion. "Hello."
"17? Great news. Dende found my wardrobe. It was in the time chamber the whole time."
"That's great," 17 said flatly.
"So, as soon as you get back, we need to go shopping. I need to refill it."
"What?" 17 said, panic creeping into his voice. "But you have your wardrobe back. Why do you need new clothes?"
"Because they were all outdated."
"But they were only gone THREE DAYS!"
"But in the time chamber, that was three YEARS! So I had them thrown out and I'm getting an all new wardrobe."
17 could only let out a horrified whine.
"So, get back as soon as you can, kay?" Bra then hung up.
17's hand twitched as he moved his finger over the 'end call' button. He hit it, basically crushing button under his thumb, then finishing the job and crushing the rest of the phone. His face was set in a mask of absolute rage. This time Bra had gone too far. This time it was all-out war.