Okay, I'm sorry, I'm flaky. Just call me pie crust instead of Pokey. I didn't like the way this story ended when I started posting it so I've spent the last two weeks playing with the ending and now it's twice as long as it started and I'm still not done. I blame Fred, just because it's convenient. This will be finished, I promise, but posts will continue to be about a week apart. I hope you all don't mind.
Okay, on to reviews:
SSG Michael B Jackson: If you do remember which book (or if anyone else does) let me know. I apparently haven't read that one. Aside from that breif mention on the bridge at Endor, I don't think Luke ever brings up his mother. That has always made me wonder if he really wanted to know about her, or if he was just looking for a good note to start that particular conversation off on. It certainly was convenient. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.
k00lgirl1808: Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying this. And thank you for sending me that e-mail. It's easy to start thinking that no one will care if you don't update. I needed that kick in the pants.
REV042175: Thanks. I've always liked to t hink of the characters as real, three dimensional people. That makes it easier to write them, I think. This chapter seemed to fall a little flat, let me know what you think. I welcome any suggestions about what I might have done wrong here.
Kazzy: I do like torturing Han a little. We really do cut him a lot of slack and sometimes we need to give him a hard time. Besides, I get to write his meeting with Padme this way, and that is one scene I've been looking forward too...
Leia had got a lot to deal with, and she gets to make some decisions under better circumstances than the EU authors gave her. Padme abandoned her children. I know it was for their own good and I know she left them in the care of people she trusted, but that doesn't change the fact that she abandoned them. That would create guilt in the strongest of us and hers had nearly twenty years to fester. Luke, well, he's having typical guilt, he'll get over it. But not too soon.
It just occured to me that I made everyone feel all guilty, Hmm, that could get boring. Gonna have to work overtime to fix this. :-)
Anyway, to all of you out there, I thank you for the flattery. There are at least one hundred of you who made it all the way to the third chapter of this story, thank you for sticking with me. I'm sorry about the delay in posts, but I've been doing some tweaking. I'd rather delay now than have to pull all these wonderful chapters later and re-write them.
So, without further adieu...
l
Sorrow Multiplied
Chapter 4
Leia had no idea what she was going to do to entertain her mother. After all these years, she just wanted to be near the woman. Of all the things she'd thought about her real mother, all the things she'd imagined, Leia had never guessed that her idol and her mother could be one and the same.
Ever since learning galactic history as a child from her tutors, Leia had idolised the young Nubian queen. She'd read every news article she could dig up on the woman and had nearly worn out that section of her history book. The young queen was fierce and strong, yet beautiful and kind. She was everything Leia had ever strived to be, the very image of what a ruler should be, and she was the very same age as young Leia.
After thoroughly cleaning her apartment, Leia set her kitchen droid cooking. The young Princess had been honest when she'd said she couldn't cook. Not sure what to do next, Leia re-arranged the few decorations she had on display, then re-arranged them again. Finally, she put them back where they had started and headed for the 'fresher.
After showering, Leia carefully braided her hair, an activity that could be made to take several hours. Looking at the chrono time and time again, Leia finally turned the device around to face the wall. When the doorchime sounded an eternety later, Leia shoved one final pin in her hair and dashed to the front room. Her mother stood on the other side of the door when Leia opened it and she breathed a sigh of relief.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
After parting with her children, Padmè returned to her ship. Unlike the old days, it was docked in a closed bay like any freighter. The ramp was closed and the ship was tightly locked. As she neared the ramp lowered, reminding her of a time when anything she could possibly need had been at her fingertips and people had gone out of their way to make sure she never lowered her own ramp or even opened her own door.
Kerinè was waiting at the top of the ramp and Padmè hurried to her.
"How was your meeting, Milady?"
Padmè hugged the young woman fiercely. "Absolutely wonderful! She wants me to stay! Can you believe it Kerinè? Leia wants me to stay!"
The young woman returned the embrace wholeheartedly. "That is wonderful news, Milady."
Padmè held the woman at arms length. "You are happy for me and you don't even know why that's good news. What have I done to deserve such loyalty?"
Kerinè smiled, "It is good news because it makes you happy Milady. It is I who doesn't deserve you. You rescued me when you had no reason to. You've helped countless other beings over the years. You are one of the good ones, Milady. You deserve Loyalty from much better than the likes of me."
"Kerinè, come with me. There are things you need to know." Padmè led the girl through the ship to her cabin and shut the door behind them despite the ship being sealed.
She picked up a small box from the table and opened the lid. She handed a pair of holos to the young woman. The first was her wedding picture, the second was of herself holding her two babies, taken only an hour after they had been born. "This is my family. My late husband was a Jedi knight by the name of Anakin Skywalker. We were very happy, though our marriage was a short one. It wasn't very long after that image was taken of us that things started to go bad. Ani started spending more time with Chancilor Palpatine and he grew farther and farther from me.
"Shortly after I learned I was pregnant, he turned on his former teacher. He renounced all the good things in this galaxy and I was forced into hiding before I could even tell him he was going to be a father. I seperated and hid my twins to keep him from finding them." Padmè took the holo of her babies and held it close. She looked into Kerin's eyes and found only acceptance there.
"Kerinè, my husband became Darth Vader." That sentance was one of the hardest the former queen had ever been force to utter but the younger woman's gaze never faltered. "Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa are my children"
The young woman didn't even blink. She just accepted this information and sat quietly, as if Padmè had just told her she liked to knit in her spare time. Impatience won out and Padmè could no longer take the silence. "Please, say something, anything!"
"I am glad you trust me enough to share this with me and I am very glad you have been re-united with your children, Milady."
Understanding hit the former senator and Padmè had to close her eyes to fight off the dizzy spell that accompanied the realization. "You truly don't care about my demons, do you?"
"The past doesn't matter, Milady."
Padmè shook her head sadly. "You are an amazing young woman. You're wrong, but you are amazing nevertheless."
The former queen stood and wandered over to her wardrobe. "Would you help me choose something to wear tonight?"
"I'd be honored, Milady."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Ringing Leia's door chime was not the hardest thing Padmè had ever done, but it ranked near the top of the list. She tugged at her outfit like a child, wondering if it was appropriate. She'd chosen another pant-suite, this one a light blue. The outfit was completed with a poncho and light sandles. She tugged at the garments again, and stopped when she saw the door start to swish open. She was frozen in place as she saw Leia standing on the other side of the doorframe.
"Please, come in." Leia offered and Padmè followed her into the apartment. The room was sparsely decorated and was painted in light shades. The furnature was rich, if simple, and seemed to compliment her daughter well. Leia sat on the end of the long sofa and Padme sat at the other end.
After sitting in silence for a long while, Padmè decided to start the conversation. "So, you're working to build the new government."
"Yes. They are even talking about giving me the title of Cheif of State, but I'm not sure I want it. Mon Mothma would make a better leader than I." Leia nevously fingered the end of one of ther braids, then caught herself and frowned at her hand as if it had a mind of it's own. She forced the hand to her lap.
Padmè solved the problem by taking both Leia's hands in her own. "I'm sure you will be good at what ever you do."
She ran one hand through her daughter's braids. "You have such lovely hair."
Leia smiled shyly. "I remembered that you had long hair, I wanted mine to be just like yours. I missed you momma!"
Holding her in a tight embrace, Padmè said, "I missed you too, my baby. I never wanted to leave you. I am so sorry."
"Don't be sorry, you're here now. I've been so lost momma. First I found Luke, then I found out about... about Him. I don't now if I can handle this!"
"I know sweetie, I know."
They reluctantly parted and Leia wiped her eyes quickly. She hated it when she couldn't stop crying. She fished a handkercheif out of her pocket and looked over at her mother, only to realize the older woman had done the same. Leia giggled wiped her face. Padmè did the same and tucked the white cloth back into her poket.
"I guess you picked up more from me than either of us thought."
"My aunts used to say it wasn't lady-like to carry your own handkerchief, but they could never properly explain why." Leia shrugged, "it seemed more practical to me than hoping someone would offer you theirs."
The older woman agreed with her. After a few more minutes of silence, Padmè noticed a familiar looking paper on the table next to her. She picked it up and was startled to seee her own handwriting. She looked ofer at Leia, noticing the worn edges on the sheet and the no longer crisp folds.
Leia tried to form a smile but failed miserably. "I thought you were dead, they told me you were dead. I read it over and over, trying to understand, now I do."
Padmè reached out and Leia crawled across the sofa and into her arms until she lay half on the couch and half in her mother's lap, the older woman stroking her hair gently. "I wish I could have been there for you. I wish you could have known Ani the way I knew him. He was a good man, once. You probably wouldn't have liked him though. He wasn't serious about anything, always running off to save stranded queens and racing. He could be a real terror when he flew."
Leia giggled. "You should meet Han. He's one of the best pilot's I've ever seen. I think he's even better than Luke, though they've never competed as far as I know."
"Who's Han?"
"Han Solo. He's... well, he's the man I'm in love with. He used to be smuggler, but after he and Luke saved me from the Death Star he joined the Rebellion." Leia traced the design on her mother's poncho while she spoke. "I don't know what he's going to do now. He's not exactly the respectable type."
"I understand. I'm sure he'll find something to keep him here."
Leia looked up at her face, not even bothering to hide the hope in her eyes. This was her mother, after all. "Do you really think so?"
"Of course, dear." Padmè smiled down at the princess knowingly. "They always do."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
The next day was the first official day of Luke and Leia's vacation, but with their mother's appearance they no longer felt like taking a cruise. They had not needed to discuss cancelling their previous plans, but now neither was sure what to do with their week off. Obviously they were going to use the time to get to know their mother, but what to do?
Padmè had the answer, of course.
"Children, I'd like you to come see Naboo. I can't think of a better place to announce to the galaxy that I'm still alive and I want you to see where you're from. You've already been to Tatooine..."
Luke jumped at the idea. The three of them had met at Leia's apartment that morning, for lack of a better idea. After his conversation with Han, Luke had decided he did want to get to know his mother. He realized that he had always wanted to know her, on some level at least. "That sounds great, when should we leave?"
Padmè had already thought this out. She'd spent the previous night thinking about the fact that her children were going to be free of any responsibilities for the next week and that they actually wanted to spend that time with her, and those thoughts had brought her around to Naboo, her home. She wanted to share this with her children more than anything else in the galaxy.
"We can leave whenever you are ready. I had Kerinè prepare the ship this morning."
Leia, who obviously hadn't been following the conversation very closely, looked up from where she'd been studying the carpet. "Who's Kerinè?"
"Now there's the thousand credit question. Kerinè, to put it simply, is my copilot. I've known her since she was just a child," she took Leia's hand gently. "When I met her I had only just lost you two and I guess the mother in me coldn't leave her to those thugs. I took her in and she's been insistant on worrying over me ever since."
Padmè giggled softly. "She actually reminds me of Sabè. Sabè was one of my handmaidens when I was queen on Naboo, she was also my bodyguard and my closest friend. She was killed shortly after you were born."
Wanting to lighten the mood, Luke pulled out the datapad he'd borrowed from Han the day before. He pulled up one of the holos and projected it into the air above the coffe table. His mother saw the image and gasped. "Where did you find that!"
Luke grinned at the surprise in his mother's voice. He'd displayed the image of her in the grey tunic first and it had obviously been the right choice. "I wondered about you so I did some research. This was in a file with a bunch of other info and holos."
The older woman reached out as if to thouch the image. "This was taken on Tatooine, I wonder who..." She shook herself visibly and took the databad from Luke, disrupting the image. "This was taken while I was stranded on Tatooine, I was playing my own handmaiden so I could follow Qui gon. I never liked letting other people take control of my life."
She scrolled through the data pad and displayed another image. This time it showed her in the red and gold gown with heavy facepaint. Much to Luke and Leia's surprise, she broke down laughing. The rich, clear sound filled the room, spreading to the twins, even though they weren't in on the joke.
"What is it, mother?"
Between giggles, she said, "That's not me... That's Sabè! They still can't tell the difference!"
Catching on, Luke and Leia quickly joined their mother in laughter. When they had finally calmed enough for rational conversation, Padmè continued to enlighten them.
"Sabè and I used to switch places in times of danger, to protect me. When we were all safe, Sabè stayed near Queen Amidala, as her protection, and Handmaiden Padmè would be sent on errands for her Queen. When there was danger, Padmè came back while Sabè went on errands. The deception saved me a number of times. When my two terms ended as Queen and I became a senator, Sabè went on to other things, but Dormè stayed with me and we continued the ruse on occasion."
"And no one ever questioned this?" Luke asked.
"No. Who questions the Queen? Only myself and the handmaidens knew. My security didn't even know. It was my perogative to choose who would be my handmaidens. The women who would be confidants, advisors, and bodyguards. I chose for many reasons, but first and foremost I chose young women who bore a great resembelance to myself, phsically, that is. Any one of them could pass for me in a pinch, but Sabè was closest."
Luke was still unconviced. "I would think someone would have noticed."
Leia laughed at him. "Didn't you see all that facepaint? Who can tell under all that?"
"You are absolutely right, Leia. I claimed I wore it because it was traditional, and it was, but no ruler had worn it in centuries, before myself. Between it and the grandoise style gowns, it could have been anyone on the throne. I did not do anything lightly in those days, I was very thorough in my planning when I ran for Queen. The prvious two had died during their terms and I had no desire to continue in that tradition."
Leia hugged her again. "For which I am very grateful." She looked at Luke, then at her mother, making a decision, "So, did you want to leave today? I'll have to pack."