SNOW IN JULY

From The Eyes of the Lost One
(A companion piece to the previous chapter)

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Sometimes, things aren't always what they seem. Just when I thought I am going to be growing old by my beloved's side, Fate decided to play tricks on us. I was cursed with leukaemia, the blood cancer that managed to force my life out of my body. I felt so helpless when I first realised that I'm dead. I don't feel sad for myself, though. It's my beloved that I'm worrying about.

Shuichi…

He has not talked since my funeral. His tears never seem to stop flowing. It pains me to see him so sad. I so wish to wipe the tears off his face - to tell him that everything's going to be okay. Yet, my hands go right through him when I try to hold him. It's summer. The sun is smiling down on us. My Shuichi glares at the sun, as if saying how much he hates the sunbeam. He is sitting in the deserted studio alone, crying – again. It's been a month now. I'm afraid he's going to try to do something stupid. As much as I want to be with him again, I want him to go on living. After all, happiness is only reserved for the living.

I see Sakuma Ryuichi leaning against the door to the studio. He is listening to my Shuichi's pained sobs. I notice he is also crying silently, hugging his stuff bunny tightly to his chest. I can't help but smile. Ryuichi, my Shuichi's long time idol – his music God, is crying for him. I know now that the superstar is in love with my beloved. There is something in his eyes that I recognise because that something once belonged to me as well. Maybe he can heal my Shuichi. Maybe he can make Shuichi happy again…

Then he goes away. I do not follow because I want to be with Shuichi. Sure, it pains me to see his tears but I'm selfish. I want to be near him before I go, even though he cannot see me. In less than an hour, the door creaked open to reveal Tohma, Mika, Tatsuha, Ryuichi, Nakano, Fujisaki, Noriko-san, K-san and Sakano-san. I immediately recognise the envelope in Tohma's hand. He hands it to Shuichi, who reads my goodbye letter word-by-word. The look of pain suddenly vanishes from his face. I am now crying as he continues reading. I just wish I could hold him. To my surprise, little snowflakes start falling down. There are also tiny drops of rains amidst the falling snow. Shuichi sees this too. He runs out of the building, looking around in wonder.

I feel so calm all of a sudden. It is like I am part of the snow, the rain and the wind. I've always wished to become the three little wonders when I'm dead. I bet my wishes are now granted. I look at my Shuichi. He runs to the park where we first met, with the others in tow. My Shuichi calls out my name repeatedly.

He is laughing, but there are tears running down his face as well. His laughter is so beautiful. I want to keep his voice in my mind, my heart and my soul forever. Then he yells my name again. I smile bitterly. The tears are running freely down my cheek now. The rain gets a little harder.

"Shuichi…" I whisper, knowing full well that he cannot hear me. The wind around him blows harder. I watch him running around in circle, looking sad and happy altogether. I couldn't help but smile. I remember the parting words I wrote for him, the one he read a few moments before:

When it rains, know that those are my tears,
letting you know how much I miss you,
and that I'm still by your side…

When the wind blows, know that those are my whispers,
my arms embracing you close;
letting you know that I will always stay by your side,
and that I'm still there with you…

And when it snows, know that those are my kisses,
my confessions of undying love;
letting you know that I will always love you
and that I'm still there for you

because the snow, the rain and the wind,
they're all me….

With tears in my eyes, I blow him a kiss.

"Shuichi…I love you."

And more snowflakes fall.

((La Fin ))

One POV down, one more to go XD!

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