Fair warning folks, this is a major cliffie. This has also been a very hasty post, so I apologize upfront for any formatting errors.
REV042175: Gold star for the spelling mistakes, thanks. Ohh, if you hadn't beta'ed this one my response would be "you'll absolutely hate this," but I already gave that warning and won't give it again here. :-)
Crazyfoo: The idea definitely has merit, I've stoarted writing it, but I think if it gets posted it will be as a missing moments scene. That's just not part of this story. Thanks for the idea though!
Mike: Thank you for the compliments. I like Jar Jar in limited quantities. Of the three responses I got, one hated the characters re-appearance, and one loved it. I take that as a compliment as well. :-)
I should have known you guys would figure out what was going on with the governors, you're all just a little too quick for me. You weren't supposed to know that until chapter fifteen. Again, this chapter is a cliffie, please don't hate me!
Authors Note: Kudos goes out to REV042175, who beta-ed this chapter. It should be known that he has not beta-ed any other chapters, all previous mistakes are mine and mine alone. :-) Also, I've retained several minor flaws as I felt they fit the mood of the story better as they were originally written.
Sorrow Multiplied
Chapter 14
While they waited for the girls' new gowns to arrive from the dressmaker's, Luke and Leia sat on the Queen's balcony and looked down at the courtyard. Their mother was reminiscing with Jar Jar and Telia had gone to check on security. The governors would be assembling at any moment.
Leia stared into the wildly overgrown gardens and Luke stared at Leia. He was worried about her. She'd been so distant since they escaped that cave. He knew something had happened to her, but he was very fuzzy as to what it was.
"Are you alright?" His voice broke the silence suddenly and Leia turned to look at him.
"What makes you ask?" It was a diplomat's answer and they both knew it.
He sighed. "I'm worried about you. What happened back there that upset you so?"
She studied her fingers for a long moment. "I spoke to someone." She hesitated for more than one reason. More than anything in the world Luke wanted to know his father. He had felt that way for as long as she had known him. He'd gotten to meet the man, once, but as of now Leia had more experience with him than Luke. Her brother's life was the only thing she wasn't willing to give to have never had that conversation.
"Who?"
That was the question, wasn't it. "Him."
Luke swallowed, he'd expected as much, though he hadn't wanted to believe it. He wasn't sure what to say, so he waited for Leia to continue.
"He was so nice." Her voice dripped with frustration and anger. "It's not fair. He's not supposed to be nice. He's the bad guy. He's evil!"
She was all but sobbing and Luke slid over on the built-in bench to wrap his arms around her. "I"m sorry, Leia. I wish it wasn't like this."
"I liked him, Luke." The confession was surprising in it's sincerity, if not it's content. "When I didn't know who he was, I was starting to like him. He was kind and funny and sweet and I hate him." The last words were punctuated with sobs. Luke held her small frame tightly. She was right, it wasn't fair. The longer he was in this place the less fair he thought it was. It took all he had to fight against the 'If only' thoughts that plagued him. As a Jedi he couldn't afford to go where that path may lead.
"I know, Leia. I know." She cried until she was done, then she stood abruptly, wiping tears from her cheeks still.
"We should go. General Binks is inside and we should..."
"He'll wait. He and mother want to catch up anyway. I guess they spent a lot of time working together before we were born." He stood and laid one arm across her shoulders. She leaned into him, grateful for the support.
"What would I do without you, Luke?"
He offered her no response and she expected none. There was nothing either could say to change the past. Nor could they expect life to mold itself to suit their desires.
"I should try to accept him, shouldn't I?" Leia asked, knowing the response.
"You have to do what you have to do. It would be easier on you if you accepted what is."
Leia snorted. "That's Jedi advice?"
"That's brother advice. You fight against everything, it can't be easy for you." He grinned at her. "I get exhausted just watching you sometimes."
"Don't change the subject. Then again, please do. I can't forgive just yet, but maybe I can forget for a while."
"In that case, maybe we should go in?"
The decision was made to wait until the following day to hold any sort of conference. With the current day nearly at an end and the news Jar Jar had brought from the governors being echoed by the populace in general, Padmè felt it best to have a plan of action when she again spoke to the assembly.
Luke, Leia, and Padme slept in the Queen's quarters that night, Telia felt they would be more secure than any lower rooms. The woman turned out to be very good at planning security. The large suite had been furnished with all the basics and it was ready for it's first occupants in over twenty years.
The rooms were clean, if a bit dusty. The linens smelled wonderful, but somehow Leia couldn't feel comfortable in her soft bed. She blamed too many nights spent on bunks in barracks with the other soldiers or on tiny shipboard beds. The huge, overstuffed mattress seemed strange despite the many years she'd spent on nearly identical beds in her youth. The Princess tried everything she could think of to get comfortable. She pounded on her pillow, reshaping it to her desires. She separated the blankets from the sheets as she had as a child, but to no avail. Finally, she decided the problem did not lay with the bed, but with herself. Obsessing over the sleeping arrangements was occupying her mind, but it wasn't solving her problem.
Giving up, she climbed out of bed, which was now a terrible mess, and padded across the room to the window. In the dark, the gardens displayed outside looked like a mysterious jungle, instead of the weed patch they had become. Leia found it all too easy to imagine large cats and all other sorts of creatures prowling through the underbrush, just searching for their next meal. Perhaps one would become hungry enough to risk searching through the palace for a little girl to carry away...
Disgusted with herself, Leia swung the curtain shut and turned away. As a child she had occasionally allowed her imagination to run away with her, didn't every child? But to imagine wild animals were after her was ridiculous. For starters, the garden outside was closed and no such creature could get in. Secondly, she had her blaster on the end table and if anything showed up that would most definitely dissuade it. Turning back toward her bed with the intention of on a light, a familiarly shaped shadow caught her eye and she let out a cry. She didn't hesitate, though. Years as a soldier made her roll toward the bed despite her fear. Instinctively, she switched on the lamp and snatched up her blaster in the same fluid motion. The blaster came up in both hands and she aimed it at...
Empty air. The lamp light dispelled the shadow, which proved to have no substance. It certainly hadn't been what, or rather whom, she had thought it was. That was, of course, impossible. He had been dead for months now. He'd died trying to save Luke...
Leia shut down that thought and slammed the blaster back on the end table. She closed her eyes and tried desperately to quiet her own breathing. The sound was too much like...
Crying out again, Leia ran toward her door and out into the main room. Across from her door was her brother's and she reached for the knob, leaving her own door open. Crossing the threshold, she froze. She was just being silly, Luke was sleeping quietly. there really wasn't any need to disturb him. She would just go back to her own room and go to sleep. But she didn't even turn around completely, because out of the dark came Luke's voice.
"Leia? Is something wrong?" He was sitting up, reaching for the lamp. When he switched it on, she was able to see the creases his pillow had made on his cheek. And that she'd woken him from a deep sleep.
"It's nothing Luke, go back to sleep." But he was already on his feet and crossing the room to her.
He shook his head and took her hands. "It's not nothing, Leia. You're radiating fear and confusion. I'll bet even Han could sense you right now. What's wrong?"
"I couldn't sleep. I was trying to think quietly." She grimaced. She really had been trying to be quiet, like he'd shown her.
Luke raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a smirk. "You were doing a good job too, or else I would have woken up sooner." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her to the kitchen. "You've been practicing your shields, haven't you?"
Leia didn't respond, and he didn't expect her to. Instead, she just settled in a chair and let Luke make some tea. When the water was hot, she helped him carry it into the sitting room where they settled on the sofa.
"Now, tell me what happened." Luke said softly, letting her lean against his side.
"I couldn't sleep, I just kept thinking about... Well, everything. Then, I thought I saw something in the shadows and I panicked. That's when I went looking for you." Leia laid her head against her brother's shoulder and sipped at her tea. It was too hot but she welcomed the burning sensation. She used the pain to ground herself. Luke sensed this and took the cup away.
Settling the small cup on the table, Luke wrapped his free arm around his sister's shoulders. "Leia, who did you think you saw?"
Though she was plenty warm enough, Leia shuddered momentarily. "Vader."
Trying to lighten the mood, Luke said, "You know he's dead, right?"
"Yes, I know he's dead!" She said, irritation coloring her speech. "I just can't do this, Luke. I can't forgive him the way you and mother have. He destroyed my life and now I'm learning that he's done it twice!"
Brow creased in puzzlement, Luke asked, "Twice? How could he have done it twice?"
"Vader destroyed the galaxy as it was known then, throwing us into a civil war which I have been a part of my entire life. He stood by and let Tarkin destroy Alderaan and he's killed nearly everyone I ever knew. Now I find out about the life I could have had with you and mother here on Naboo, and he's responsible for me losing that too!" She finished breathlessly, tears running down her cheeks despite herself.
Luke took a moment to assess the situation. "I don't know what to tell you Leia. Vader did some horrible things, it's true. I don't think even I could forgive Vader. But I can, and have, forgiven Anakin, our father. That's easier because I don't have to forgive him all those atrocities, I just have to forgive him for becoming Vader."
Leia snorted at his logic. "Since when did you become a politician, Luke?"
"Since I found out it's the family business. It is a lot more interesting than moisture farming."
She couldn't help but laugh out loud at the comment. "I'll grant you that one. If I hadn't been so worried about Han on my one trip to Tatooine, I think I would have been bored out of my mind. How did you manage to survive eighteen years there?"
"Easy, work, work, and more work. Uncle Owen always made sure I kept busy. I think I understand why he did that now, though. I understand a lot of what Uncle Owen did, in hindsight."
"Like, what?" Leia asked, intrigued enough to forget, for the moment, the original topic of their discussion. Their first purpose for this sabbatical had been to get to know each other, after all.
Luke sighed gently, trying to think of a good example. "Well, like keeping me busy all the time. You might not believe this, but I was very prone to daydreaming when I was younger."
"No, really?" Leia grinned at him.
"I know, it's hard to believe. Uncle Owen didn't like that though so he always made sure I was occupied. I see now he didn't want me thinking too much about adventures. I might have gotten it into my head to leave Tatooine."
Leia looked up at him, "What else?"
"Obviously, he refused to tell me anything about my father no matter how many times I asked." At Leia's snort, he laughed and continued. "And the way he always chased Ben away when he was trying to help me with something."
"What would Ben have been helping you with?"
Now it was Luke's turn to snort ironically. "What didn't he try to help me with? I must have wandered off a dozen times when I was little and Ben always found me and took me home. He rescued me from thugs in Mos Eisley once. Helped me take care of Aunt Beru when she was sick and Uncle Owen was gone... a million things, over the years."
"You two were really close, weren't you? You and General Kenobi, I mean."
"Yes, and no. I knew him my entire life, and I always looked up to him. But then I found out I really knew nothing about him. Now? I'm not sure."
Leia, who had recently felt her brother had all the answers, was disturbed slightly by this confession. Luke noticed her momentary confusion and hugged her tightly for a moment. "I have issues too, you know." He teased.
"I know. That's why I asked, because I want to understand. Sometimes I feel like I've known you forever, but then you say or do something, and I remember that we only met a few years ago."
"I know, Leia, I feel the same way," he confessed. "What about you? Did you know Ben?"
She shook her head. "No, I never met him. The one and only time I saw him was on the Death Star when we were running for the Falcon. My father, Bail, I mean, spoke of him occasionally. That's how I knew to send Artoo to him. I knew he was on Tatooine somewhere and since we were in orbit when the Imperials found us... It just seemed right to send the plans to him." Leia paused thoughtfully. "I wonder how much of that, of everything I've done, was done at the prompting of the Force? I've felt it, recently, and I can recognize it when the Force is trying to send me a message, but I wouldn't have then. I wonder..."
She shook herself slightly and dropped her gaze to the table. "It's still strange to me."
"I know. You'll get used to it." Luke promised her. She sighed felt her eyelids drooping as she lay there.
"I think I'm finally ready to go to sleep," she told him.
"Then we should probably get you to bed. We've all got a big day tomorrow."
Despite having sworn to never again don such a ridiculous costume, Leia soon found herself in a dressing alcove sorting out the various parts of her new gown. A thick, many layered under-skirt was covered by a long white dress with a close-fitting bodice and sleeves. A second bodice, this one blue, went over the first and matching extensions were added to her sleeves so that they hung down and blended with her skirt. A wide, fringed blue sash circled her waist several times before trailing behind her in place of the short train the designer had wanted to add.
The final result was an almost normal gown. She had cut most of the elaborate additions from the design before agreeing to wear it. She had no intention of being kidnapped again, but there was someone in the palace right now who wanted her dead.
More furniture had been brought in and she found herself sitting in a mostly equipped sitting room to work on her hair. With plenty of time and something to occupy her hands, Leia's mind was free to wander. Every moment of the day before played back through her mind, slowing down when she got to her contact with the mysterious man.
Her father. That was an idea that stuck in her mind. Unlike her brother, Leia had grown up with a father. Her father had been a wise, strong, peaceful man. Bail Organa had taught her right from wrong. He had played with her as a child. He had introduced her to politics. He had held her hand at her mother's funeral...
But her mother was alive. It was her adopted mother who had died all those years ago. Her mother was alive, but that meant the man who wore the name 'father' wasn't really.
The problem was not who she had thought of as a father all these years. The problem was who she thought of as Father now. The man she had met the day before had been kind, had made her feel safe. He had been everything a father should be, aside from being dead, of course. He was someone she would have no problem thinking of as her father.
Unfortunately, her emotions were not the only thing involved. Her brain continually pulled up the image of an emotionless black mask and for just a moment she heard the echo of mechanized breathing.
She pulled a drawer open and found it filled with various pins and ornaments. She found a large hand full of pins that each had a single blue gem set into the tip and began pushing them through her braids.
"I am sorry, Leia. I should have told you." The voice echoed slightly around the room and it startled her enough that she poked her finger with a pin. The end was blunted, but it hurt anyway.
"A little warning would be appreciated!" She snapped, not sure what she wanted to say to this man. She had jerked her hand violently away in her surprise and the barely fastened braid had come loose. Cursing, she bent to retrieve the dropped pin only to find another, very solid hand was holding it up for her. Her gaze traveled up a long arm to a warm, very real face.
His hair was light and a little too long. His face was slightly rounded, but his high cheek bones and stubborn chin reminded Leia very much of the image she saw in the mirror every day. He was bent slightly so his face was on level with hers. Frozen in place, she could not take the ornament from his fingers. Smiling gently, her father picked up the end of the loose braid and secured it with the errant pin.
With the final braid in place, her head was a mass of waves and ripples reminiscent of the ocean. The tiny blue jewels were like breakers on the shore and the fine white mesh she laid over the top of it all was the foam on the waves. She studied the mirror intently, but it was not her own image she inspected. The man standing behind her seemed to be doing the same and neither broke the silence, each intent on committing the other to memory.
Warm fingers that had been resting on her shoulder since they had finished off her braids, slowly lifted to her cheek in a gentle caress. The skin was calloused and Leia took a moment to realize why that was wrong. It was his right hand that rested on her cheek. Like her brother, her father had lost that appendage; long before he became a Sith lord.
She met his eyes in the mirror but could find nothing sinister in them. His face was far from innocent, but there was nothing malicious about it. There was nothing she could see in this man that would account for the monster that haunted her nightmares.
At long last, the one question that had haunted her longer than any other bubbled to her lips. "How? How does anyone become..."
"A monster?" His eyes were sad and she wondered if he might cry. "I should have known you would jump right to that question." He sighed and Leia felt his breath blow across the top of her head. He stood up and she realized only then that he'd been on his knees. Irrelevantly, she thought it was just one more injustice that her father should be so tall and she would be so short.
He circled the bench and knelt beside her. "I did it for you." Disbelief colored her face and he smiled wryly. "I thought I could make the galaxy better. One swift decisive move. Make everybody get along and get rid of those who wouldn't. I was so angry, for so many reasons I won't bother with right now."
He took her hand in his and smoothed the skin with his fingers. "I was wrong, I know that now, but by the time I learned it was too late."
She didn't yank her hand out of his grasp as she might have. Instead, she just sat. Luke didn't even know this, she wondered if her mother did. Something settled into place inside her. She wasn't sure why, but this man's words calmed a fear she hadn't known she entertained, the fear that she could become what he had been.
A million little things she'd known but not understood settled into place suddenly, calming the turbulent emotions that had been rampaging through her for months now. Bits and pieces of stories she had heard, contradictions in the thing Vader did. In a single moment of clarity she understood and that knowledge set her mind at ease in a way nothing else could.
She was still seated on the bench and even on his knees she had to look up to see his face. Her fingers clutched at his and when she spoke her voice broke thanks to tears that had not yet bubbled out. "Daddy?"
Warm fingers wiped tears from her cheeks before gathering her close to his body. A force sense she'd barely recognized until this point memorized everything about the man that held her close. It was all more than she could comprehend at once and her mind filtered out everything but the warmth of his arms and the feeling of complete and total safety that a war rampaging through the room couldn't have shaken.
Forgiveness was a marvelous thing. Padmè stood quietly in the doorway and watched her little girl and her husband embrace and knew for an absolute certainty that there was good in the galaxy.
She had come to see if Leia was ready, but there was nothing under this or any other sun that could make her disturb the scene in front of her. She turned slowly and made her way out of the room again, peace finding its way into her heart for a while at least.
Han saw on the monitors when the man pocketed the blaster. There was no legitimate reason for anyone to conceal a blaster in such a manner. He watched intently as the man adjusted the hang of his cloak and walked calmly out of his room. Backing up the image, Han examined the weapon and jumped to his feet.
That particular model was furiously powerful and could punch a hole through a transparisteel cockpit. He shuddered to think what it would do to human flesh, which was the only thing in this building for him to shoot.
The former smuggler raced out of the room calling for back up on his com-link and wishing he had the New Republic army at his back. His friends could be the only target he was not about to stand around and watch someone else try and fail to save them.
When Leia did emerge from the dressing alcove, it was clear eyed and cheerfully. The day's meetings would be held much less formally than their previous presentation and she was looking forward to the almost celebratory atmosphere that would permeate the coming gathering. Naboo would once again be reunited under a single government, a single leader.
Her mother, her brother, and the Gungan ambassador were all seated in the large common room when she joined them. Smiles passed and her brother, sensing the change in her, grinned broadly. He offered her his arm, which she accepted smoothly.
The day's meeting was meant to be an organizational one. They would be rallying the governors and instructing them on the best ways to encourage the people in their districts. To help in that capacity, Governor Lisk was supposed to meet them in the conference room.
They reached to conference room and stood to the side of the door waiting for their friend, but he did not arrive.
"Should we start without him?" Luke asked.
Leia shook her head. "I suppose we have to. It's a shame, though, he's been working for this moment since the beginning. He really should be here."
Padmè stepped forward and led the group to the small stage at the front. She activated a display and the built in terminal that had just been replaced. A presentation Lisk's people had put together displayed itself on the screen and was transmitted to the individual datapads throughout the room. She and Jar Jar stood together at the front and were flanked by Leia on the left and Luke on the right.
Padme's face composed itself as she opened her mouth to speak. "People of Naboo, today is a great day for today we..."
She never got to finish the sentence. The crack of a blaster bolt rang out and she fell backward into her daughter's arms. Luke leapt forward and caught the next two bolts with his lightsabre. The man who had fired on them cried out suddenly and crumpled to the floor, a black burn mark scoring his back.
Han Solo stepped through the doorway, his own blaster never leaving the still form on the carpeted aisle. When he neared the man, it became obvious the overweight man was dead and he holstered his weapon. With one boot he rolled the corpse onto its back, revealing none other than Governor Lisk.
Shaking his head slowly, he was broken out of his thoughts by a terrified sob echoing through the silent room The voice was horrifyingly familiar and he rushed to Leia's side.
She was clutching her mother tightly. The older woman was unconscious; an impossibly huge burn scarred the right side of her torso and was far too far left to be considered a shoulder wound. Blood trickled from the wound with deceptive slowness. The scar was so large that even a few drops were too many. He looked around desperately, trying to find someone to help. Telia stood just behind him and he heard her speaking to a medic on her com-link.
Leia pressed a length of white fabric to the wound and he realized it was a large chunk of her costume. The white fabric was soon stained crimson through and through and she discarded it in favor of a new length.
Han leaned forward so he was in the former queen's line of sight. "Just hold on, Miss. Help is on the way..."
She was slowly coming to and her eyes focused on his face slowly. "So, this is the illustrious Han Solo..."
Her breathing was ragged and he prayed she wasn't bleeding internally. Leia was beyond words right now, she was focusing on trying to stop the bleeding. Padmè grimaced when Leia pushed hard on the wound.
"I had hoped to meet you eventually, I just wish it were under better circumstances." The woman's speech was halting and she had to pause for breath every other word. She definitely had lung damage. Han was about to tell her not to speak when she passed out again. He locked eyes with Leia, then felt a hand on his shoulder.
Luke pointed toward the door where a team of medics were rushing in. Han stood and backed off to allow them space.
The room was in a shambles. The governors had hit the floor with the first blaster shot and most had fled as soon as the immediate danger had passed. Over turned chairs and loose datapads were scattered across the floor and half obscured Lisk's body from view.
Padmè was carried out of the room hastily with Leia running after the medical team. Luke paused next to his friend.
"Thank you, Han..."
The old smuggler raised an eyebrow. "What for?"
The Jedi glanced toward the door involuntarily and Han nudged him with an elbow. "Go on kid, she needs you. I've got things here"
Luke took off, not waiting to ask which 'she' his friend was talking about.
The lanky alien that Han had barely noticed until now stepped up to the body on the floor and tapped it with one foot.
"Thisa bad. Thisa very bombad."
"You said it my friend, you said it."