Here I Am, This is Me
Chapter Three
Apathy
by Roaming Tigress
As the months past since that miserable spring evening, my mother came to realize that I was a much stronger child than what she had imagined -- and hoped. She hadn't expected that I would live to see me reach a month old, let alone a year. Still, my birthday, just like my first Christmas would be just another day, as her feelings, along with those of my father, did not soften with time.
Instead of celebrating my birthday, mother and father went out for supper and a night at the opera and hired Grandmother Anita and Grandfather Adriano Volatili to look after us. They were a well-to-do couple who were unaware of my existence, for I was kept locked away from the world behind the confines of my bedroom. Emillia never took me out there show off to her friends or family members whenever they came over, for the little mishapen runt wasn't anything to show off and brag about. I was usally given sleeping pills during these times, as to not betray the presence of a dark family secret.
Just like on the day of my birth, the day I turned a year old was a stormy night. Thunder and lightening frightened me as much as it did any child at my age. I curled up in a tight ball and whimpered, hoping that whatever scary monster that was making that noise would go away and not hurt me. There were no soft toys for me to snuggle up with for security; just a flat pillow and a quilt that had looked as is if it had seen the centuries. As the storm worsened, my cries for help became more desperate, and soon what was kept behind that white-painted door was no longer uknown. Whoever was behind there, was desperately crying out for help.
It was my grandmother who first found me. Initially she was taken aback my appeareance, not because of my face but rather my size. A young rooster of a year old should be plump, with plenty of baby fat and fluff to pinch. Not me. I was all skin and bones, and my feathers were a dirty offwhite fuzz instead of that bright yellow fluff you see on those Easter chicks. I still hadn't recovered from a bout of pnemonia that was caused by Emillia neglectfully leaving the window open on a cold night some four months ago, and it showed.
I wasn't used to used to being handled, and I shrieked horribly as she removed me from the crib. Despite this, my grandmother couldn't put herself to walk out of the room and leave me all on my own to escape from the noise. She stayed to give me my first present ever -- a hug. For a child in my position, a hug was the best gift I could ever recieve. With me still in her arms, she left my room to give me my first toy. It was a teddy bear, which I still have to this day. I immediately sought comfort in that toy that was bigger than I was and after a year, I finally had someone to love me.
If only for a moment, Anita would become my angel. She even resembled one with her blonde hair, white feathers and blue eyes. It was no small wonder as to why Adriano married her; she was beautiful, with a heart to match.
Grandmother Anita couldn't comprehend why her daughter would let me slip away like I was doing. Every rib, every vertebrae could have been felt with a gentle touch. There was no question of it, I was being neglected. Emillia was taught to treat others with kindness and respect if she wanted to be treated fairly decently. Emillia's morals snapped when I came into the picture, she thought. My condition had to be reported to the authorities, and she took me over to her husband to show him proof of my condition. Naturally she may have loved her daughter, but she also loved her grandson and my welfare had to come first before anything else.
Never a very emotional man for the most part in his life, Adriano was apathetic to whatever was going on around him. A small child that was in need of help and nurturing was no exception to that rule. He intimidatingly loomed over me, scowling as he saw me hide my face into the bear's soft brown fur. He neither had my parent's outright scorn nor his wife's pity for me; I was just another thing that was in his field of vision. As Adriano wasn't being directly affected, my situation was not a concern for him. He snatched the phone away just as Anita was going to make a phone call to the police, telling her to mind her own business. It seemed that, aside from sharing appearance traits, both my father and grandfather alike had the same heart.
Grandmother gave my parents a speaking to when they came home, demanding as to why I was in the shape I was in and was promptly lied to. They told her that I became ill on the week she came over, and my recovery would be slow as I was born prematurely. Unfortunately, caring as my grandmother was, she was also very naïve and hadn't noticed the deceit and cruelty that was smoldering in my mother's eyes until it came too late. She was barred from the house after she discovered me, she left in tearsand I would not see her again until I was twenty.
For the longest time, apathy was what the treatment I received in place of tender loving care. In two birthdays time, though, that was going to change.
Disclaimer: Steelbeak, Darkwing Duck, and all other characters mentioned except for Javert J. Adair, Emillia, Roberto, Valentino, Andreas and Antonio Volatilli belong to Disney. Do NOT borrow ideas from or distribute this story without prior permission of the author at
Author's note: this is a revised, improved version of "Twisted Every Way" which was originally written in 2002. Certain aspects from that story have been changed or elaborated.