A/N: So finally we get to the actual story. Woohoo! Let the games begin!
You'll have to forgive it if it's a little strange. It's meant to be. And you might want to watch out- I'm a hardcore EC fan. FFFFT! Pretty nancy boy Raoul stealing Erik's girl! Diediediediedie!
(Is smacked by Artemis Entreri)
Ah… yes. I needed that. Sorry.
Aaaanyway… I'm presenting this in script format (ish), BECAUSE I CAN. Mwahahahahahaha- hack hack hack cough cough THUD
Rehearsals for "Hannibal"
Lady Jagura strides onto the stage of the Opera House, looking rather silly while simultaneously wearing her cloak, armor, and mask AND the costume for Elissa, Hannibal's mistress. Instead of a prop severed head, she is cheerily swinging an actual head back and forth, and blithely ignoring the strange and disturbed looks the chorus girls are throwing in her direction.
Jagura(at the climax of an extravagant cade):
This trophy from our saviours, from the
enslaving force of Rome!
The chorus girls all wince. Powerful, scary Noble with supernatural powers she may be, but singing is most certainly NOT her forte.
Girls' Chorus:
With feasting and dancing and song,
tonight in celebration
we greet the victorious throng,
returned to bring salvation!
Men's Chorus:
The trumpets of Carthage resound !
Hear, Romans, now and tremble!
Hark to our step on the ground!
All:
Hear the drums - Hannibal comes!
Hige enters, dressed up as Hannibal… except that he has a hot dog in his mouth and is still wearing his collar.
Hige: Mrrph mrrphn mmph mmph.
Jagura (in an undertone): Take the hot dog out of your mouth, imbecile!
Hige swallows the hot dog in one gulp, nearly chokes, and then sings (rather raggedly).
Hige (Hannibal): Sad to return to find the land we love
threatened once more by Roma's far-reaching
grasp.
At this point Cher Degre looks up from where she's been reading The Book of the Moon
Cher: Signor Wolf, if you please: It's "Rome", not "Roma". We say "Rome".
Hige: Whatever. Rome, Roma… I'm hungry.
Cher: Okay, then, Hige, could you do the "Sad to return…" bit again?
Footsteps mark the entrance of the old owner of the Opera House –a woman with dark skin, white hair, and curiously mismatched eyes-, leading behind her a pair of young men. One seems little more than a boy; his wide, brown eyes are full of innocence, and he looks around at the Opera House in awe. The other is a tall, rigid older man, yet still not out of his twenties. His white hair is tailored to a severe cut and comes to a ponytail in the back; his gold eyes are narrow and suspicious.
Tranquil: Okay, guys, this way. Rehearsals, as you see, are under way, for a new production of Chalumeau's "Hannibal".
She looks around, sees that there's a lull in the activity, and waves a hand to garner attention.
Tranquil: Yo! Hey guys! I kinda figure some of you already know M. Tsume and M. Toboe, but-
Cher looks up from the Book of the Moon again, seeming a little annoyed- probably because Tranquil gave her a smaller part than she wanted.
Cher: Tranquil, it's only a few lines into the first scene and you're already doing self-insertion?! Go away. We're rehearsing right now.
Tranquil throws up her hands in a gesture of surrender, ears drooping as she takes a step back.
Tranquil: Whoa, whoa, easy! I'll be out of your hair in a second, 'kay? (Besides, this is the only scene I'm in, goddammit!)
Cher: Yes, yes… Go on, Hige.
Tranquil (whispering to Tsume and Toboe): That's Cher Degre, our chief repetiteur. She can be kind of a bitch, I'm afraid.
Cher: I HEARD THAT!
Tranquil (cowering): Don't hit me! OO
Hige clears his throat. Loudly.
Hige (Hannibal) :
Sad to return to find the land we love
threatened once more by
Rome's far-reaching grasp.
Tomorrow we shall break
the chains of Rome.
Tonight, rejoice - your army has
come home.
The ballet girls, made up of random wolves and humans (and is that Myu? Why so it is!), start their dance. Unfortunately Tsume, Toboe, and Tranquil have conveniently positioned themselves in the middle of the stage, and are cery much in the way. Oblivious, the dark elf points to Hige.
Tranquil: That's Hige, our tenor. He's a bit of an idiot…
Tsume: We know.
Tranquil: …but he suits Lady Jagura.
Hige: I do NOT!
BANG!
A gunshot rips through the conversation as Quent stumbles onstage- as usual, swigging out of his flask of liquour. He glares balefully at the three and points his rifle at them.
Quent: Get off the stage, wolves, before I kill you. (He points the barrel of the gun at Tranquil) You, too, pointy-ear.
Tranquil (outraged): POINTY-EAR?!!
When Quent fires off a shot at her feet, she and her companions hastily get off the stage.
Tranquil (pressing a hand to her heart): And THAT was Quent, our... snrrg... choreographer. Man am I going to be happy when I'm out of here.
Tsume: Why're you retiring again, Tranquil-san?
Tranquil (ignoring the question): We take a lot of pride here in our ballets.
Blue dances into their field of vision, brow furrowed in concentration. She's not really much of a dancer, but she's managing all right.
Tsume: Who the hell is that, Tranquil?
Tranquil: That? That's Blue, our resident half-wolf. She was raised by Quent. Promising talent, actually, in spite of who brought her up…
At that moment Cheza twirls into view, dancing happily in the pink boots that Hige gave her, but she's out of step.
Quent (bellowing): GIRL! Concentrate or I'll blow your head o- Oh, wait. You're not one of those filthy wolves. Nevermind then.
Blue (dancing over to Cheza): Hey, something wrong?
The wolves' reactions to Cheza's presence are instantaneous: their eyes glaze over as they get a whiff of her scent. Tsume taps the elf on the shoulder.
Tsume: Who's that girl? She smells so nice…
Tranquil: That'd be Cheza Hanabito…
Toboe: Hanabito? That's a nice name…
Tsume: Any relation to the old violinist we've heard about?
Tranquil: Her mother, sort of. Cheza's kind of… well, she's got her head off in the clouds a lot.
The ballet, meanwhile, resumes, as does the chorus:
Chorus:
Bid welcome to Hannibal's guests -
the elephants of Carthage!
As guides on our conquering quests,
Dido sends
Hannibal's friends!
A life-sized mechanical replica of an elephant is brought in- stagehands attempt to lift Hige onto its back, but because he's rather… shall we say, portly, it doesn't work very well.
Jagura (Elissa):
Once more to my
welcoming arms
my wolf returns
in splendour!
Hige: Do I have to?
Jagura: YES.
Hige (sighing): Oh, fine, fine.
Once more to those
sweetest of charms
my heart and soul
surrender!
Chorus:
The trumpeting elephants sound
hear, Romans, now and tremble!
Hark to their step on the ground
hear the drums!
Hannibal comes!
At the end of the chorus Tranquil claps her hands for silence. The elephant is led off. Two stage-hands are revealed operating it from within.
Tranquil: Ladies, gentlemen, wolves and Flower Maidens… lend me your ears! (She points to her own uber-pointy ears for emphasis.) You've all heard rumors that I'm taking off, and yeah, it's true…
Everyone except for Tranquil: WOOHOO! She's leaving! Finally! (etc., etc.)
Tranquil (evilly): You aren't out of the woods yet, my pretties… oh, no, not by a long shot. Mssrs. Tsume and Toboe will be taking my place from now on.
Tranquil ushers the two wolves to the foreground. People applaud politely… except for Jagura, who just shoves her way into the open.
Tranquil: This is Lady Jagura, our leading soprano and resident evil Noble for five seasons now.
Tsume: Oh, yeah. I remember when you tried to kill us.
Tranquil: And this is Hige.
She motions the wolf forward. Glaring match between Hige and Tsume ensues. Toboe just smiles and acts his sweet little self.
Tsume: Um, Jagura. Toboe wants to hear you sing. Would you mind? (Oh my ears hate me already…)
Jagura: If Mme. Degre commands…
Cher: Like I have a choice. Two bars?
Toboe: That's fine!
Cher: All right. Jagura?
Jagura: Cher.
The introduction is played upon the piano, and Jagura does her utmost to sing her very worst- ah, I mean, best. Tranquil, unnoticed, stuffs cotton into her ears.
Jagura:
Think of me,
think of me fondly,
when we've said
good bye.
Remember me
Once in a while
promise me
you'll try.
(All the wolves are by this time trying very hard not to howl in pain)
Jagura:
When you find
that, once
again, you long
to take your heart . . .
CRASH!!!??!
A backdrop falls to the floor directly behind the Noble, cutting her off from half the cast.
Blue/Ballet Girls/Chorus:
He's here:
the Phantom of the Opera . . .
He is with us . . .
It's the ghost . . .
Hige stares in annoyance up at the wings of the stage.
Hige: Couldn't you have landed the damn thing on her head?
Tranquil, on the other hand, lets out a long sigh and walks over to where Jagura is standing, stunned.
Tranquil: You're not hurt are you? LEBOWSKI! (looks around) Where the bloody hell did Hubb get to? Betting you money he's the one that did this.
The backdrop is raised high enough to reveal Hubb Lebowski, holding a noose-like length of rope.
Hubb:
Please, Tranquil-san,
don't look at me:
as God's my witness,
I was not at my post.
Please, Tranquil-san,
there's no one there:
and if there is, well-
then it must be a ghost . . .
Blue (looking up): I'm telling you, it's the Phantom of the Opera!
Tsume (snorts): Bull.
Toboe: Aw, come on, a ghost?
Tsume (to Jagura): Y'know, shit happens, lady.
Jagura: Yes it does! And until you stop it, I'm not singing! Hige, come!
Hige reluctantly gets her furs from the wings and trails after her.
Tranquil gets an absolutely wicked look in her eye and begins backing away, saluting.
Tranquil: Well, guys, I think you can handle things from here on out. If you need anything, I'll be in Mordor. Ciao!
She practically dances out the door, alternately cackling under her breath and singing, very faintly: "Darcia-chan, Darcia-chan, if he can't do it, no one can…"
Tsume: Ah, Jagura'll be back.
Quent: Yeah? Well I've got this letter from the Opera Ghost…
Toboe: I don't believe in ghosts!
Quent: Look, wolf, I don't make the rules, I just follow 'em. He merely welcomes you to his opera house... commands that you to continue to leave Box Five empty for his use.. and reminds you that his salary is due.
Toboe (confused): His salary?
Quent: Yeah. Little Miss Pointy-Ear used to pay him twenty thousand francs a month. God knows why. Maybe you can give 'im more, now that you've got the White Wolf as your patron.
The Ballet Girls lean forward to hear more. Cheza perks up and grabs hold of Blue's arm.
Tsume: Old man, shut your mouth…
Quent (to Toboe): Boy. Is the White Wolf gonna be here tonight?
Toboe (excitedly): Yeah! He'll be in our box!
Tsume: Old man, you got an understudy for Jagura?
Cher (yet again looking up from the Book of the Moon): No, the production's too new.
Blue: Hey, I know! Cheza could sing it!
Toboe: You mean the pretty girl that smells like flowers?
Blue: Yeah. She's been taking lessons from some great teacher.
Tsume (growling): Oh, yeah? Who from?
Cheza (shyly): Th… this one does not know, sir…
Toboe: Aw, man… we're gonna have to cancel!
Quent: Aw, hell, let her sing. She's pretty good.
Cher (after a pause): Okay, Cheza, let's start from the beginning of the aria.
Cheza straightens up and takes a deep, nervous breath.
Cheza:
Think of me
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me
Once in a while
please promise me
you'll try.
Toboe: has gone all drooly and vacant-eyed
Tsume: Oh, God, Toboe, not you too…
Cheza:
When you find
that, once
again, you long
to take your heart back
and be free -
if you
ever find
a moment,
spare a thought
for me…
The shot cuts to the Gala. Cheza is revealed in full costume.
We never said
our love
was evergreen,
or as unchanging
as the sea -
but if
you can still
remember
stop and think
of me . . .
Think of all the things
we've shared and seen
don't think about the things
that might have been . . .
Think of me,
think of me waking,
silent and
resigned.
Imagine me,
trying too hard
to put you
from my mind.
Recall those days
look back
on all those times,
think of the things
we'll never do -
there will
never be
a day, when
I won't think
of you . .
Applause thunders through the room, followed by whistlings and cries of "Bravo! Bravo!" Kiba, from his seat in the managers' box, starts to his feet and stares, wide-eyed, at the singer far below.
Kiba:
Can it be?
Can it be Cheza?
Bravo!
(He raises his opera-glasses.)
What a change!
You're really not a bit
The timid Flower Maiden you once were!
(He lowers the opera-glasses.)
She may
not remember
me, but
I remember
her...
Cheza:
We never said
our love was evergreen
or as unchanging as the sea
but please promise me
that sometimes you will think
(vocalising) of me!
The end of the song is met with thunderous applause, and the curtains fall.