Falling into You
By Weasley is my King
Chapter Seven
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I can't try any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave,
Excuses I made for you
I'm broken in two
"Undiscovered" - Ashlee Simpson
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"You were playing me, weren't you?" Dean said harshly as Ginny was walking down the stairs on her way to dinner. She jumped when she saw him at the bottom of the stairs and laid a hand over her heart with a smile to show him that he'd surprised her.
With her ginger hair back, exposing her pretty face, Dean couldn't help but think how much he wished she wasn't playing him. "Gin," he said, this time standing next to her. "Did you hear me?"
She stopped walking and placed a hand on his arm. "Dean, I'm really sorry." She watched his face fall and his shoulders slump slightly. "Come on, let's just go to dinner and we can talk about all of this later." The pair walked down to the Great Hall together making friendly conversation all along the way, finding that they still had a lot in common and that they both felt comfortable around one another. Inadvertently Ginny linked her fingers through his and they walked hand in hand to dinner.
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"What was that?" Harry asked, his entire body filling with a warm feeling of rage. He looked from Ron to Hermione, both of who were avoiding each other's eyes, for some kind of answer. "She's friends with him now?"
"You're friends with my sister now?" Ron asked before he even had a chance to think about it. He immediately felt a kick in the shin from Hermione, who was seated across from him. He let out a sound between yelp and a groan. Harry looked at Ron, his eyes wide.
"He didn't mean that, Harry," Hermione said in a maternal tone. She threw a nasty glare at Ron before looking to see if Lara and Malfoy were still talking.
"How can she do this to me, us?!" he exclaimed, throwing his fork down on his plate. "She knows I can't stand him."
"She looked upset at dinner," Ron noted. "She didn't even eat dessert," he said, adding another hefty spoonful to his plate. Hermione rolled her eyes and took a small bite of her own dinner.
"I think you owe her an apology, Harry," Hermione said. "I mean, you…" she seemed to be searching for the most tactful words, "you haven't exactly…. Hmm," she said, giving up. "I just really think you should apologize."
"Apologize?" Harry said, taking a quick swig of pumpkin juice. "She is probably shacking up with him in Filch's broom closet when I'm at quidditch practice!" he spouted off in rage. "Why should I apologize to her?"
Hermione's mouth dropped at the crude accusations coming from Harry's mouth about his own girlfriend. If she ever found out Ron said anything like that about her, no matter how angry or how off-base he was, their relationship, not just more than friendly relationship but entire relationship, would be over. Forever. Hermione dropped her fork as well, stood from the table with a huff and stormed out of the Great Hall, passing Ginny and Dean on the way. She was too angry to even call attention to Ginny's hand linked with Dean's.
"How can this be happening?" Ron asked rhetorically. "I'm not even hungry anymore," he said, placing his fork on his plate and pushing it away from him. "Oh bloody hell," he said exasperatedly. "And the hits just keep on coming."
Harry looked to see what Ron had been looking at and decided he could take no more. Seeing Ginny and Dean enter the Great Hall together laughing made him want to take his eyes out of his head with a spoon. Harry made a noise that Ron didn't recognize as he stood from the table and headed towards the exit. When would this day be over, he wondered as he left. He was fuming as he left.
Ginny's eyes followed him as he stomped out of the Great Hall, presumably back to the common room, where she guessed both Hermione and Lara were headed. Upon watching her closest friend, her confidant, leave the common room with such determination, Ginny couldn't help but think all of this was because of her. She didn't want Hermione, or Harry for that matter, to be angry with her, but she knew that this who fiasco was because of her. Because she was shallow and competitive. When she passed Lara, she didn't really get a good look at her, but she thought she had heard her sniffle and take a deep breath. Ginny dropped Dean's hand as she sat at the table across from her brother.
Ron rolled his eyes at the sight of his sister and Dean Thomas. The whole mess of a day was because of her. He hoped she knew that. He hoped that she knew that Harry had been punched in the face by his best friend for no reason because he had been manipulated. Ron hoped that Ginny knew that she was leading Dean on, only to throw the fact that she was just using him to get to Harry in his face. He hoped she knew that Hermione was upset because of the way Ron had overreacted and he hoped she knew that Lara was probably sobbing in her room because Harry was angry with her. Ron hoped she knew all of the trouble she caused. He would never admit it out loud, but he wanted her to feel as hurt as the rest of them.
Ron shook his head and stood from the table, giving up on the dessert in front of him. She had been left by everyone, everyone except for Dean. And that was only because he didn't know what was coming. She knew that as soon as he found out what was going on, he'd leave her too and never talk to her again. That she was sure of.
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Lara had been pacing in the common room. She wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to go straight to her room and wait for Harry to call her down or to go up there and wait until she thought he might return. Just when she thought going upstairs was a good idea, she dismissed the thought and sat down on various pieces of furniture in the room, moving from chair to chair every so often. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail due to her nervous habit of twirling it on her fingertips. She couldn't stand it down and in her face. She had pulled her long bangs back with a couple of bobby pins and she licked her lips nervously. He couldn't stay down there forever; it was only a matter of time before he would return.
There's only so much a girl can take, and she was about at her wits' end when she heard the portrait hole open and saw Harry emerge. Some other students were beginning to filter in and out of the common room, and suddenly, it seemed as though Lara's confidence as well as words were leaving with those leaving the common room. When Harry spotted Lara only a few feet away from him, stopped dead in her tracks but obviously distraught, he only shook his head and let out a cruel laugh. He didn't miss the fact that she was wearing one of his sweat shirts. He strolled right past her towards the staircase to the boys' dormitories. He was on the second step when she finally said his name. He turned around to be nearly face-to-face with her. She had tears in her eyes. He wouldn't crack this time, no. That just wouldn't do.
"Can we please talk?" she pleaded with watery eyes.
He just shrugged, scratching his neck and looking around. Gotta play it cool, he reminded himself, don't be daft. "Yeah, where?"
"Your room?" she asked, looking down at her feet.
"Yeah," he nodded slowly, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Come on."
Lara walked silently behind Harry up the stairs and down the all-too-familiar hallway to the room she recognized as Harry's. He entered nonchalantly, dropped onto his bed, kicked off his shoes and laid his head back on his arms crossed behind his head on a pillow. She stood uncomfortably at the foot of his bed, her eyes scanning the walls. Whenever she was up there, she never took notice of the walls, never mind the pictures/posters all four boys had plastered everywhere. She had, however, taken notice of the framed pictures of his parents on the bedside table. Then she thought about how uncomfortable she was feeling, and couldn't remember ever feeling that uncomfortable, especially around Harry.
"You and Malfoy," Harry said, breaking the ice. He hadn't sat up or tried to look at her. "You guys are friends now?"
"No," she said before she took a couple cautious steps closer to him. "Yeah…." She unintentionally tugged on her shirt's hem. "No, of course not." She shook her head. "He just… Harry, I don't know." She dropped onto the side of his bed. "He seems to always know where I am; he finds me in the library, he finds me in the halls, he knows where all of my classes are and he finds me at breakfast, lunch and dinner. I swear he stalks me," she laughed uneasily, hoping to perhaps lighten this awkward moment.
But Harry did not laugh.
"I don't want him to know where I am," she said softly. "It's not like I planned this."
Harry sort of nodded.
"You can't honestly believe I would have planned for all of this to happen," she said incredulously, situating herself cross-legged on his bed, facing him. "You know, I didn't move here so everyone would hate me. If I wanted that, I would have stayed at my old school."
Harry sat up. "What?"
"You know why I transferred here?"
"You told me your dad got transferred and didn't want you going to a school so far away."
"Yeah, partly," she nodded. She paused for a moment, formulating words. "I moved here- we moved here because everyone at my old school… hated me. All the girls… they all hated me. Okay, sure. I was manipulative and I… did steal a couple guys away from my best friends, but it wasn't just me. It was their decision in the end. I didn't have great friends like you do, Harry. Even though I know they don't like me, they love you, and I don't have that. I never have. I thought that if I transferred, I'd get a chance to start over."
Harry said nothing.
"Listen, I don't know what we're gonna do. I mean, your friends… they don't like me. I know that. I don't know why, but…" she took a deep breath. "Maybe because I'm not," she bit her lip. "Maybe I'm not Ginny or maybe I come off a little too strong or I don't know. But I can tell you one thing and it's this: I haven't met anyone like you ever that makes me feel the way you do. I know I haven't been here as long as Ron or Hermione or anyone, and maybe I don't know about all of your grief and… suffering, but I know I want to."
What was he supposed to say. He had never heard anyone say anything like this to him before. How does one respond to something like this, he wondered.
"I can't try any harder than I already am. These past few weeks have been pretty great with you and me. I mean, I really love being with you, but since, well, this week has been… crappy. All you've done all week is blow me off and twice today! What am I supposed to do, Harry?
"People ask me if we're still together," she said. "They ask me where you are. Seriously, if first years are asking me if we're still together, there's something wrong. Everyone sees it. Everyone except you it seems like, so you need to tell me what I need to do. Do you need some time away from me? Do we need to break up? What do you want me to do?"
Harry sat up and sat against the headboard. "I don't know," he said after a moment of silence.
"You don't know?" Lara asked incredulously. "I'm sitting here telling you I'll do anything and you don't know what you want?" Then she paused and thought for a moment. "Oh," she said as she nodded slowly and licked her lips. "You know what you want, but I can't give it to you." Lara looped her fingers together and stared at them as though they had become infinitely interesting. "That's it, isn't it?"
"Lar-" Harry said, scooting closer to her and placing his hand on her shoulder. She immediately shrugged him off, covered her mouth and held up her other hand to silence him.
"I know what this is," she said after another awkward moment of silence. "It's karma. It's… I'm… You know why this hurts so bad?" she asked him, turning to face him, her eyes gleaming.
"Why," Harry asked quietly.
"Because I finally admitted to myself that I'd fallen for you," she said.
The doorknob turned and Ron entered. "Oh," he said and quickly shut the door.
Lara stood up from the bed and left the room, her hand covering her eyes, hiding her own embarrassment. She opened the door to find Ron still standing there, looking confused about what to do because he couldn't go in his room. He waved lamely at Lara, who didn't even see him wave, and watched her run down the stairs.