Perpetrate Some Delicious Nastiness
A Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction by SpookyChild
Authors Notes:
Well, here's another chapter, in which Kurama, Hiei, and Gouki do…stuff! Woohoo! You are all excited, aren't you? Well, don't be, because you'll be let down. Significantly. The only way you will like this story is if it gouged out your eyes for you. Okay, okay, so it's not that bad. But still…oh well. Read it.
Disclaimer: I don't own it. And if I did, I would probably sell it to someone else, because…I'd make it crap. (You may have noticed that I had this disclaimer on the last chapter. This is because of the simple fact that…I am lazy.)
Chapter Two: Supplies"Really, Hiei. You never cease to amaze me." Kurama stated, strolling behind the smaller demon as they walked past the different stores and restaurants in the city. "I mean, Wal-Mart?"
"That's what I said." Hiei replied, frowning at the many people passing by the soaked demons with umbrellas in their hands. "Now quit talking. I'm trying to get into a ninja-like Zen." Kurama blinked.
"…No you're not! You're just humming that damn 'Down Town' song!" He shouted. Hiei shrugged.
"Yeah, that's it. So, which way is Wal-Mart?" He inquired, stopping and putting his hands on his hips. Kurama thought for a moment.
"Umm, left I think. Wait, no, it's right." Kurama shrugged. "I have no clue." Hiei scowled.
"What the hell do I keep you around here for if you can't tell me where a damn Wal-Mart is?!" He yelled. Kurama shrugged again.
"I don't know, so you don't suffocate yourself with the little plastic bag your Happy Meal toy comes in?" He suggested. Hiei thought for a moment.
"Yeah, that's probably it." Hiei turned around and spotted a little boy standing by himself, staring up at the sky. "Hey, let's go ask him if he knows where Wal-Mart is." Hiei suggested.
The two demons walked over to the small boy, stopping in front of him. "Hello, little…dirt-child. Please direct us to the nearest Wal-Mart." Hiei asked. The little boy blinked slightly.
"I don't know were Wal-Mart is." He stated. Hiei snorted and turned to Kurama.
"Figures." He growled angrily. "Let's go." As they turned to walk away, the little boy spoke up.
"Why does it rain?" He asked. Kurama smiled and bent down to be level with the little boy.
"It's because God is crying." Kurama answered gently. The little boy looked confused.
"Why is God crying?" He asked. Hiei rolled his eyes.
"I don't know, probably because of something you did." Hiei grabbed Kurama's arm and started to pull him away. "Let's go." Kurama frowned.
"That wasn't very nice, Hiei!" The red head exclaimed. "That little boy is probably scarred for life." Hiei snorted.
"Serves him right. Damn kid and his lack of directional skills…" Kurama rolled his eyes.
"Hey, where the hell's Gouki?" He asked suddenly. Hiei looked around before shrugging.
"Who the hell knows?" He said indifferently. Kurama rolled his eyes at the little demon and placed a hand on his hip.
"Well we better find him-," Kurama was cut off when a pair of hands covered his eyes.
"Guess who?" Chirped a voice from behind Kurama, which sounded suspiciously like Gouki.
"Damnit, Gouki! Quit screwing around and secure the perimeter!" Hiei ordered.
"And get your damn hands off of my eyes!" Kurama shouted, smacking Gouki away. Gouki frowned and crossed his arms.
"God, I just came to tell you guys that I found Wal-Mart." He grumbled angrily. Hiei's eyes lit up.
"Man, Gouki, you are the best soul-eating demon EVER! Lead the way." Gouki smiled.
"Well, it seems like all my waiting has been worth it, for now I finally have your respect-,"
"SHUT YOUR GODDAMNED MOUTH AND TAKE US TO FREAKIN' WAL-MART!"
***
"So, Hiei, what are we shopping for?" Kurama asked in amusement. Hiei stared at him blankly before laughing.
"Yeah… 'shopping'…" Hiei shook his head. "It sounds like we're actually going to pay for this stuff, Kurama." Kurama sighed in annoyance.
"Fine, Hiei, what are we 'borrowing' from Wal-Mart?" He asked. Hiei gave him another blank look.
"Kurama, I don't think you understand, we're going to steal this stuff. STEAL." He ended loudly.
"Stop saying that!" Kurama hissed, grabbing Hiei's arm and dragging him away. "Fine, just tell me what we're getting."
"Walkie-Talkies." Hiei answered automatically. Kurama raised his eyebrow.
"Walkie-Talkies?"
"Yeah."
"I'm not even going to ask." Kurama sighed, putting a hand over his eyes.
"You do that." Hiei turned and walked down an aisle, Kurama and Gouki following close behind.
"So, how do you suppose we break into the Reikai Palace?" Kurama questioned.
"Window." Hiei answered, picking up a few things to study off of the shelf. Kurama frowned.
"But what if we get caught?"
"Then the proverbial shit will hit the proverbial fan. Proverbially speaking, of course."
"Okay, okay, I get it." Kurama frowned again. "And quit saying 'proverbial'."
"You got it, Slick." Hiei picked up the Walkie-Talkie's and turned to Kurama. "Here, put these in your pants."
"Whaa-?" Kurama was cut off when Hiei shoved said Walkie-Talkies into said pants.
"Hey, those guy's are stealing stuff!" Some unknown person shouted, pointing to the three demons. Immediately, Gouki screamed like a little girl and ran out the door, flailing his arms wildly. A crowd of people began to surround the two remaining demons. Hiei's eyes widened.
"What do we do now, Mr. 'Wonderful-Plan' Hiei?" Kurama asked sarcastically, eyeing the crowding people warily. Hiei gripped the red head's shirt.
"Run like the wind, Kurama! Get yourself out of here!" Kurama raised his eyebrow. "…And take me with you." Hiei added.
"Oh, for the love of…" Kurama rolled his eyes and, grabbing onto the back of Hiei's scarf, dashed out of the store.
"Suckers!" Hiei called, sticking his tongue out at the mob of people.
***
"Hey, hey Kurama…Kurama…hey, can you hear me? Huh? Hey, Kurama, can you hear me? Can you-,"
"HIEI! For the love of God, yes!" Kurama shouted angrily at the smaller demon, who was currently circling him with the Walkie-Talkie to his mouth. Hiei dropped down next to him.
"So, Kurama, what do you want your code-name to be?" Hiei asked the red head. Kurama shook his head.
"I don't want a code-name, Hiei."
"Come on, Kurama. How about…Foxy-Momma?" Kurama raised his eyebrow.
"Erm…"
"Or how about…Youko Kurama!" Hiei exclaimed. Kurama rolled his eyes.
"No, Hiei. I'm actually having second thoughts on this raid." Kurama stated. Hiei patted the red head on the back.
"Just remember, Kurama; you have nothing to fear but fear itself." Hiei thought for a moment. "And, you know, cobras. Because man, those things will bite you." Kurama stared at the smaller demon incredulously.
"…Hiei, you're a moron."
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(A/N)
The chapter is over! AND THE TOWNSPEOPLE REJOICED FAR INTO THE NIGHT! Well, okay, there was only a little rejoicing…this authors note was pointless, but then again, isn't this story?
Stay tuned for the third chapter, entitled "The Heist".
Yay.