Perpetrate Some Delicious Nastiness

A Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Authors Notes:

Here's the third chapter…it's…good…? Yes…it is very good… Actually…no. It's not. Seriously. Okay. Read it if you want.

Disclaimer: Does it hurt when rabid hyenas chew on your face? Yeah, me too.

Chapter Three: The Heist

"Here, put these on." Hiei ordered, handing some old masks to Kurama and Gouki. Kurama frowned.

"Why are we wearing ninja disguises?" He inquired, turning the mask over in his hands. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"God, Kurama, I thought you were smart." He snorted as he pulled on a different black coat. Kurama frowned.

"I am smart. I just can't speak fluent Moron-ese." The red head stated sarcastically. Hiei blinked up at Kurama from his position on the ground, pulling on black ninja pants.

"…You mean German?"

"NO! Just…never mind." Kurama sighed, relenting as he began to don his 'ninja gear'. "Can you tell me why we have to wear disguises period?"

"So, if they see us, they won't know who we are." Hiei answered. Kurama wrinkled his nose.

"But why do we care? If they throw us in jail, we can break out in no time." Kurama frowned. "Unless they pair us up to fight crime with some sassy Spirit Detective. God forbid…" He mumbled under his breath. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Because, Kurama, we're cowards. You show me one demon who isn't a coward."

"I'm not a coward." Kurama stated naturally. Hiei smirked slyly.

"Oh yeah?" The smaller demon turned away for a moment to put on an old 'Scream' mask before turning back to Kurama and screaming, "BOO!" Kurama blinked.

"Fine, fine, you're not a coward." Hiei groaned, removing his mask and rolling his eyes for the third time. He tossed Kurama's Walkie-Talkie to him.

"Hey, don't I get one?" Gouki asked. Hiei shook his head.

"No, you're hanging in the back with me." Hiei grinned evilly. "Kurama's our spy." He stated. Kurama's mouth dropped open.

"Oh sure, feed me to the wolves!" The red head hissed. Hiei chuckled.

"Silly Kurama, there are no wolves involved." He shook his head, still snickering to himself. "What it must be like living in your fantasy world. Wolves running loose, just biting and devouring everything in their way." Kurama moaned and covered his eyes with his hand, trying to will away the growing headache.

Why me?! He thought, shaking his head.

"Okay, guys," Hiei said, standing up. "Get your dancing shoes and let's boogie."

"But I thought we were stealing the artifacts." Gouki questioned, looking confused. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"It was a joke, Gouki."

"So…we're not going dancing?" Gouki asked sadly.

"No."

Gouki pouted. "Aww, man."

***

"Kurama, Kurama, can you hear me? Over." Hiei spoke into the Walkie-Talkie. Gouki frowned.

"What's taking him so long? Does he see something?" The larger demon asked. Hiei pulled a pair of binoculars out from God-knows-where and looked in the direction of where Kurama was.

"No. I think he's being grossed out by spider webs." Hiei stated.

" 'Ewww, I touched one! Over.' " Came the crackle of Kurama's voice over the Walkie-Talkie. Hiei growled.

"Pull yourself together!" He shouted into the mouthpiece, gripping the radio angrily. "Now, what do you see? Any guards?"

" 'Um…no?' "

"…Would ya look?!" Hiei asked, sounding irritated.

" 'Fine, fine…jeez…' " Kurama went silent for a moment. " 'No, there aren't any guards. Over.' "

"Excellent." Hiei murmured, grinning evilly. "Now my plan will go uninterrupted."

"…Do you even have a plan?" Gouki asked, eyeing the smaller demon.

"Um…more or less…" Hiei looked around nervously before pointing behind Gouki. "Hey, is that Hitler?" He asked, turning and sprinting off in the direction of Kurama when Gouki looked behind him.

"I don't see…" Gouki turned back around and scowled. "Damnit! I fall for that every time!" Huffily, he turned and jogged over to where the two other demons were, sitting on a high wall that surrounded the Palace and surveying the grounds. Gouki scrambled up and sat next to them.

"Okay, so what should our next move be?" Hiei asked.

"How should I know?! This was your idea!" Kurama shouted angrily. Hiei moaned.

"But you're our strategist…" The smaller demon whined.

"Like hell I am!" Kurama exclaimed angrily. "All you have me do is order pizza!"

"And that way we all get what we want! What's the problem?" Hiei asked. Kurama put his head in his hands.

"Let's just get into the Palace."

***

"Wow, can you believe what happened in there?!" Hiei exclaimed happily, as he, Kurama and Gouki walked back into their hideout in the middle of the woods carrying the stolen artifacts.

"Yeah! How crazy was that?!" Gouki roared with laughter.

"Especially when they released the giant spiders on us!"

"And when we almost fell into the bottomless pit!"

"And when the army of clowns tried to kill us with their unicycles!"

"And when the Wicked Witch sent out her flying monkeys!"

"…That was 'The Wizard of Oz', Gouki."

"Oh yeah."

Kurama rolled his eyes at the two demons and pulled the Mirror of Darkness out from his pocket. He had to save his mother. He just had to. She was such a wonderful person, so nice, so loving, so…

"Don't go all nostalgic on us, Kurama." Hiei order, reaching over and smacking Kurama in the head. Kurama blinked and frowned.

"I was just trying to create a dramatic atmosphere." He stated.

"Yeah, well, how about you try and create us some dinner?" Hiei suggested, tossing a cell-phone to Kurama. Kurama sighed in frustration before dialing a number.

"Hello, Pizza Hut?"

***

Yusuke sat in the office, listening half-heartedly while Koenma explained his next mission.

"…I need you to get back these three items; The Conjuring Blade, The Mirror of Darkness, and The Rapacious Orb." Koenma stated. "They were stolen by three demons yesterday. These demons are elusive and are hiding in the Human World. They will be hard to find, and…"

If I had a dollar for every time someone picked a fight with me, then man, I'd have a lot of money. Yusuke thought to himself, leaning back into the chair and watching Koenma's lips move.

"…You got that, Yusuke?"

"Sure thing, Pacifier Junky." Yusuke said, standing up and stretching. Koenma frowned.

"Yusuke, for the last time, I am not a child."

"Shhh. Children should be seen and not heard." After making that horribly cheesy joke, Yusuke turned and walked out of the office.

So, another mission, eh? Yusuke thought to himself, making his way down the corridor. Man, my life is just like 'Cops'.

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(A/N)        

This chapter is almost over. Just to let you know…

It's over.

Stay tuned for chapter four, entitled "The Arrest".

Yay.