Perpetrate Some Delicious Nastiness

A Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Authors Notes:

So I'm thinking to myself one morning, "Why should I write stories anymore? I mean, it takes a lot of thinking on my part, it's kinda hard to do, and they're not all that good." But then I remembered that I have fans.

…Ha ha, sorry. I needed a good laugh.

Disclaimer: Don't be stupid. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to crazy mud-squirrels living in a dumpster behind a taco joint. You know that.

Chapter Five: Meetings With Enemies.

"-So then I says to him, I says, 'Purple? I'LL KILL YOU, SUCKA'!" Hiei made a violent gesture in midair. "And that's why I'm not allowed in Nebraska anymore." He finished. Kurama blinked.

"…Hiei, that was the worst Christmas story you've ever told me." Kurama stated. The redhead sighed and let his eyes travel over the living room. "Man, the house is so blank and lonely when my mother isn't here." He said dully.

"Aw, don't worry, Kurama." Hiei began, giving Kurama a reassuring pat on the back. "Because remember, when you're alone, and life is making you lonely, you can always go downtown." Kurama raised his eyebrow.

"Did you get that from a song?"

"No."

Kurama sighed in exasperation and stood up, grabbing his coat. "Well, maybe I'll take that advice. I'm going for a walk."

"Take your time!" Hiei called to Kurama as the red head walked out of the door. Hiei sat there for a moment. "Oh, look." He said dully. "Refrigerator magnets."

***

"You know, I never asked to be a Spirit Detective." Yusuke complained loudly to Botan. They were walking up the street, Yusuke leaning on a crutch with cuts and bruises all over him, Botan next to him, looking annoyed.

"Well, I'm sorry that you got beat up, Yusuke, but this is your job."

"LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M A TEENAGER, I HAVE PROBLEMS!" Yusuke screamed, reverting into teen-angst mode.

"Yusuke, please, lower you're voice-,"

"GET OFF MY BACK! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!"

Botan frowned. "Yusuke, I'll have you know that- is that your beeper?" She asked suddenly when a beeping noise interrupted her. Yusuke thought for a moment before burying his hands into his pocket.

"No, it's this groovy thing that Koenma gave me!" Yusuke exclaimed, fishing the Demon Locator from the dark recesses of his pants. Botan eyes widened.

"Yusuke, that means that there's a demon close by!" She said fearfully. Suddenly, Yusuke grabbed her roughly.

"Is that it?!" He asked, pointing crazily.

"…Yusuke, that's a garbage can."

"But look at its teeth!"

"Yusuke, that is not a demonic garbage can!" Botan shouted before catching sight of the actual demon. "Look, Yusuke!" She hurriedly pointed in the direction. "That's him."

Yusuke paled. "Oh my God." He whispered. "Look at his eyes, Botan."

"I know." Botan shuddered. "They're so blank, so empty. There's nothing there, just…evil."

"Oh, crap." They heard the redheaded demon say suddenly, fiddling with his sweater. "I can't believe I bought wool. This is gonna shrink like it ain't nobody's business."

"Hold me." Yusuke whispered fearfully to Botan, and they proceeded to do so.

***

"-Insensitive? INSENSITIVE?! I'll insensitive my foot up in your- GO TO HELL YOURSELF!" Hiei slammed the phone down on its handle. He sighed loudly and plopped down on the couch. "Man, Kurama's grandmother is such a WHORE." He exclaimed. He picked up the remote and began flipping through the channels. "Let's see what's on."

The Skipper, The Professor, and Gilligan are seen sitting on the beach with a coconut boat next to them.

"-So you see," said the Professor, "if we just leave Mary-Anne, we can all go home."

"Good plan!" The Skipper remarked. "The best plan we've had all season! Hey little buddy, you want to hand us those sails?"

"Sure thing! Whoa, it's kind of slippery over here!" Gillian said before falling over comically, causing the coconut boat to drop into the ocean and drift away. The Skipper groaned dramatically.

"Ooh, you clumsy idiot! That was our ticket out of here!" He scolded.

"OH MY GOD! IT HUUUUUURTS!" Gilligan screamed in agony, rolling over to reveal a large piece of wood sticking out of his eye, blood gushing down his face. "THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER!"

"Oh, Gilligan!" The Skipper and Professor said in union as cheesy music began to play.

Hiei changed the channel. "God, television sucks."

***

"Oh man, here it comes. Act natural." Yusuke whispered urgently to Botan as the redheaded demon spotted the two and began to approach them. "SO BOTAN," Yusuke said loudly, "HOW'S THAT POTTERY CLASS GOING?"

"Yusuke, shut up."

The demon stopped in front of Yusuke and eyed him. Yusuke blinked. "Um…what's up?"

"Meet me on the roof of the hospital. Come," he glanced at Botan, "alone." With that, the demon passed by them and continued on his way.

"Wow," Botan commented, "that was so overly dramatic that it was stupid." Yusuke raised an eyebrow.

"Did that guy just ask me out?"

***

"Hey," Kurama said suddenly, stopping in his tracts. "Did I just ask that guy out?"

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(A/N)

Yeah…the chapter after the next will probably be called 'The Arrest'. Sorry for the short chapter. Actually…I'm really not. It was easier for me, so…ha ha.

Stay tuned for chapter six, entitled "Mirrors".

Yay.