Illusion

By After Rain

Spoilers: There may be a couple little things here and there so watch out because I have no idea what I'm going to add yet. White Rabbit

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the show "Lost" and anything related to it. I don't own anything...nothing! ABC owns it all...and so on and so on.

Summary: Jack is plagued by reoccurring memories and hallucinations of his dead father again, while Kate is beginning to remember the horrors of her past. Kate tries to be supportive to Jack and help him to let go but he is not letting her in and how can she help him when she can't let go of her past? Kate starts to give up on Jack and with the memories of what she had done in her past she herself can't take on the stress of the island and turns to someone to make herself feel better. Possible use of a theory about the show. JK! JK!!! But possible K/S.

Author's Note: This is my first "Lost" fanfic. I've been reading them for a while now and now I'm going to start writing one. --; I hope you readers like it. Sorry for the spelling mistakes, etc. etc.

-- - -- - --

"What did you do now Jack?" A stern voice asked Jack, "Why is it that I'm always here to clean up your mess?"

Jack looked at the man standing in front of him. The man wore a perfect looking black suit with his white hair combed neatly. Jack watched as the man walked closer to him. He didn't know what to say, what to do. Everything was just a big mistake. Why was he called on to do the surgery? Why was he the one to cut that patients' flesh? Why did they get him to do such an important procedure when they knew he had only done a few surgeries before that?

"Dad...I...I don't know what happened," Jack told the man that was looking at him intently.

"You screwed up, that's what happened Jack," his father told him, "Why did you even become a doctor because you're failing at it. My own son can't even stitch up a patient. How am I supposed to explain this to my colleges? I'm a well respected man at this hospital. How am I going to go up to people and tell them what a success my son is when he's a natural born failure?"

Jack looked down at his feet ashamed of himself.

"Jack, look at me while I'm talking to you," his father chided him.

Jack looked at his father straight in the eye.

"Dad, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. It was an accident."

Jack shifted his eyes away from his father and looked straight at the pure white wall. He drowned out his fathers' voice for the few seconds that he could and thought how great it would be to get away from this all. The hospital, his father, his job, his life, everything.

"Jack are you listening to me?" his father asked.

Jack's eyes focused back on his father but whatever his father said to him he could not and did not want to hear it.

"Jack...Jack!"

"...Jack!"

Jack's eyes shot open. He squinted and waited for his eyes to adjust to the sunlight shining down on him.

"Jack!"

Even though he was now awakened from his dream about his father, he kept hearing his name being called in the distance. He sat up and brought this hand to his forehead. He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly.

"Jack! Jack...are you okay?"

He opened his eyes and looked up at the figure standing before him. It was Kate.

"Hey there," Kate half smiled.

She knelt down next to him as he rubbed his eyes. She looked at him closely, from the little stubbles of hair on the lower half of his face to his lips and eyes. She studied his face trying not to be too obvious about her growing attraction towards him. She had always though they had some sort of connection ever since the day he asked her to sew him up. That was the first time they met and the first time she had an actual conversation with someone that didn't involve her being interrogated or chased by anyone. She was glad that if any one of the plane crash survivors had seen her mug shot, it was him.

"You look awful Jack. Are you alright?" Kate asked again.

It took a while for him to process Kate's question in his mind and when he finally did he nodded slightly.

"Yea...yea, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Your whole face is drenched in sweat," Kate said, "Here."

She took out a handkerchief she had found on the beach and handed it to him. He wiped the sweat off of his forehead roughly. Kate tried to make eye contact with him but he kept avoiding her gaze. She could feel that he wasn't in the mood for talking or anything else. She let out a small sigh and smiled.

"You really look like crap," she smiled as she stood up, "And you probably don't need me here telling you that right now. I can tell you had a bad sleep. I'll just go now okay."

She started to walk away when she felt a hand on her arm. She looked down at him and saw him looking right up at her.

"Thanks Kate," Jack said.

"You don't have to thank me for anything," Kate smiled, "By the way, the guy with the hives is asking for you again."

Jack let a small grin take over his face as he let go of Kate's arm.

-- - -- - --

That afternoon when Jack finished calming down the man that was breaking out in hives, he looked in the caves for Kate.

"Hey Hurley, have you seen Kate?" Jack asked.

"Naw man," Hurley replied simply, "She's probably at the beach or something."

"Yea, I haven't checked the beach yet and Charlie thinks she might be there too," Jack replied, "Thanks Hurley."

Jack left the cave and started hiking down to the beach with a water bottle in his hand.

-- - -- - --

At the beach Kate sat down on the warm sand by the water. A cool breeze made her hair flow gently in the air. She sighed as she watched the waves slowly crash into each other. She stared at the blue nothingness ahead of her and wished that the hope that she and some of the other survivors felt of a rescue ship coming was still there. But as everyday passed she grew more and more weary.

"Nice empty view huh?"

Kate turned her head and looked up at Jack. He was looking at the same view she's been staring at for the past 20 minutes.

"Nothing but the ocean for millions of miles," Jack said.

Kate smiled and continued staring at the ocean.

"What's up Jack?" Kate wondered, "I heard you were looking for me."

"Who told you that?" Jack asked.

"Charlie. He came to the beach a few minutes ago to visit Claire."

"Oh well it's nothing really. I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted this morning," Jack said as he sat down next to her, "I just had a bad dream and it kind of startled me. Sorry."

"You don't have to say sorry Jack. I understand. I can tell you've been having some bad dreams lately. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I rather not right now. But thanks for asking Kate," he said as he handed Kate the water bottle he brought with him.

Kate turned to look at Jack and smiled, "That's okay. Everyone on this island has some kind of secret and we're all entitled to keep them. You've respected me by not pushing me into telling you mine so I'll do the same for you."

"Thank you Kate."

They sat in silence for a few minutes and watched the ocean together.

"You know what I miss," Jack said breaking the silence.

"And what's that?"

"Coffee," Jack said simply.

"Coffee?" Kate laughed.

"It's true. Being a doctor, I basically lived on the stuff," Jack laughed, "But being on this island for as long as we have already just makes me realize that coffee is a stupid thing to miss."

"Oh?"

"Do you miss anything Kate? I'm sure there's something or someone," Jack said.

"Yea there is," Kate started, "I...I miss my mother and my sister. I haven't seen them for a while."

"Yea it must be really hard to not be able to see your family for a long period of time," Jack said, "What are they like?"

"Uh, let's talk about something else okay?" Kate said.

"I'm sorry Kate. I didn't mean to make you upset," Jack apologized.

"It's okay. I'm not upset. I just don't want to talk about my family right now okay?" Kate said raising her voice a bit.

Jack looked at Kate with a surprised expression on his face. Kate stood up and breathed in shakily.

"I'm sorry. I'm...I'm sorry Jack."

Kate hurried away from Jack as he stood up.

"Kate! Wait!" Jack called as he tried to catch up to her, "Kate! Kate..."

She picked up speed and became lost in the trees. He stopped and tried to locate her in the trees but had no luck. He then heard a rustling sound in the tall grass.

"Kate?"

He stepped further into the trees and stopped dead in his tracks a few feet in. A man in a black suit stared blankly at him.

"Dad?"

To Be Continued...

A/N: Hope you liked it. Did you guys like it??? Please review but if you didn't like it please refrain from flaming. :)