Nomads United

A/N: ...Third... Chapter... Ugh, growing faint... Oh, sorry about the whole getting off the subject, last chapter. Lyn was tied up and thus, boring and not doing anything. Now, however, there will be a chapter completely focused around her and only her! Oh, and some pointless cameos that I thought would be funny.

Heheh... I'm having writer's block, is all...

Darkness-Aura: Thanks for the insight, there.

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Chapter Three -- Lyn: Something of Somethingness

Aside from that plot-twist... thought Lyn. I'd say that I'm hating this fic more and more by the second!

Lyn. Puppet. How could that be? She was too... masculine in an effeminate way to be controlled like that! Or, it could be that the Black Fang was done controlling powerful people and picked her out of a hat at random and just went about their business.

--Black Fang Headquaters, about a week beforehand--

Nergal sighed as Sonia smirked behind him. "Okay, who're we controlling this time, without bribe and/or threat and/or blackmail?"

Limstella shifted nervously. "Erm... We don't have any idea whatsoever, sir. So..." She pulled out a hat that looked oddly similar to Disney World's Mickey Mouse hats. "You have to pull a name... at random. Heheh..."

Nergal raised his only visible eyebrow. "That's your brilliant way of picking people?"

Limstella shrugged. "It's worked in the past, sir."

"Whatever," sighed Nergal, dunking his hand into the hat full of names. He pulled one out. "Lyndis? You mean that green-haired woman whom it turns out is the heir to Marquess Caelin?" He laughed. "Oh, how pathetic... Whatever." He snapped his fingers, and thus Lyn was cursed.

--Back with Lyn--

So, Lyn, being the reasonably reasonable person she is, tried to deal with it on her own. Unfortunately, it didn't go so well as she had originally planned, and, as it turned out, she was getting crazier by the second.

"Koo-koo-kachu! I am the walrus!" she said, smiling dementedly. "And not only that; I am the eggman, I am the eggman... Okay, now I'm the walrus!" She jumped up and down on one foot.

Perhaps this would be a little easier for her to understand if she wasn't a loony at the moment, but she was, and... Well, it was pretty obvious what was going on in her brain. Actually, it wasn't at all, but bear with it, people. This story is only going to have about eight chapters. This being one of them.

"Hey," she said suddenly. "Why'd you punch Randy Travis?" Serra, the only one nearby, looked at her, an eyebrow quirked.

"HUH?" she asked. "What's that supposed to mean? And who the heck is Randy Travis?"

Lyn shrugged. "Dunno." She threw on a cap with a curvy 'M' on it. "Now, get to work, slacker! It's time for the rush-hour-lunch, and I'm not about to get my ass written up on my land-lady's hit list!"

Serra, although utterly confused, saluted, then straightened up. "What should I do, ma'am?"

"Go grill some burgers, whip some cream on those milk shakes, then fry some fries!" commanded Lyn, sternly. She pointed into the distance. "Get moving, soldier!"

Serra saluted again, then ran off.

"Hard worker, good worker," said Lyn, holding up her hands like scales. "Hard over good? I think not!" She laughed maniacally, slapping both hands together and rubbing them together, as would a Bond villain. "Now, where was I? Ah, yes -- I need to recruit more workers! Fwahahaha!"

Matthew happened to be passing by, and threw his cape back dramatically, when it got stuck in the fan that Legault had set up for the effect. Matthew started gagging.

"Oh (censored)!" cursed Legault, banging on the contraption repeatedly. He panicked, then started kicking it.

Matthew managed to choke out five words: "I... don't--think--it's-helping!"

Finally, Legault pulled out his cell-phone and called up...

BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUMM!

"Shut up, Joe Narrator!" he told the narrator.

Joe stalked off to do whatever it is that narrators do. Which is narrate.

Anywho, Legault pulled out his cell-phone and called up Karel. Karel, of all people...

"What?" asked Karel, appearing suddenly, as though he'd been caught on a drifting wind. He sniffed the air. "I smell... death..."

Matthew was now on the ground, twitching every now and then. Lyn wasn't helping, although it seemed as though she was trying... She'd pulled out a nail file and started filing away at the fan.

Karel stared at them, then approached the fan and tapped the 'On/Off' button with his toe. The fan turned off, and Matthew's cape was still caught in it, but Lyn finally managed to file through the metal barrier that were the wires covering the actual fan itself, and untangled Matthew's cape.

"Oh... My... God..." Matthew gasped for air, tugging at his cape sharply. "Legault, the next time... I suggest something like that..."

There was a pause. Legault raised his eyebrows and fiddled with his hair nervously. "...Yes?"

"Don't listen to me," panted Matthew, still lying there, "And knock me out with a dart..."

"Okay," said Legault, his eyes shifting around as he slunk off. Like a thief. "Oh, touché," he commented, sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and slipped off into the shadows to go and steal something from someone; come on! He was feeling down. (collective "AAAAAAWWWW!" can be heard in the background from the author, the narrator, and the author's friends)

Lyn looked at Matthew. "What did you want to tell me?" she asked, looking into his eyes, as she was staring at him up-side-down. He sighed, still panting, then closed his eyes.

"Erm... Yes, milady," he coughed. "I was wondering... Do you have Guy's cell-phone number?"

Lyn cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why would I know something like that?"

"Well, uhhh..." said the thief, thinking quickly and replying half as quickly. "I just figured, since you're a... a Nomad, and all..."

"Oh, so you think I'd hoard off that confidential information and just give it to the public at random?" she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "How can you expect me to do something so cruel and unusual?"

Silence. Matthew coughed.

"...Umm... Did you?" he asked at last.

Lyn looked kind of ashamed. She fidgeted with one of her two belts. "Yes..." she muttered.

"So... Can I have his number?" asked Matthew, a hopeful air about him.

The Nomad girl put her hands on her hips sternly, glaring at him. "NO!"

"Awww..." groaned Matthew. Then he got up, dusted himself off, adjusted his cloak, and sulked off to brood on random thoughts.

And Lyn smiled like a moron, quite proud with herself. Ahhh... I hate being insane... It's so... boring and uneventful!

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TO BE CONTINUED...

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Sorry that was so short... I was off the subject last chapter and I wanted to get back on like that (snaps fingers). Yes, that Randy Travis joke was inspired by King of the Hill, but I did not think that was the funniest material I had.

I'm saving that for the last chapter. And if you don't like spoilers...

I won't give you any!

I am the Walrus is copyright the Beatles. John Lennon and Paul McCartney had nothing to do with this fic. I swear, they are not my writers. (pa-dum, CHIII!)