A/N: I'm SO sorry you all! Thank you for ALL those reviews, but I'm trying so hard to write and post, so review replies come next chapter, ok? I'm so, so, sorry. And thanks for the reviews guys, you're all so nice!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 22: Jaken and the 'Wench'

"It's cold, all because you shredded my clothes. I blame you," Kagome said, glaring at Sesshoumaru.

He tossed her his haori top. "You started the seduction."

"Did not! I was only explaining the few rules of modern... ideas."

"I think you explained really well... but we should practice a bit more."

"No! I will purify your ass to hell and back if you come near me with that... thing."

"Thing?" he smirked. "I wasn't going to come near you with my 'thing'..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Sesshoumaru-sama...? Sesshoumaru-sama! Get off him, you nasty wench!"

"It's not what it looks like!" Kagome said, rather untruthfully. "I was just... feeling upset. And Sesshoumaru here kindly gave me a hug."

Jaken snorted. "Yes. People hug on the floor. The last time I checked -"

"Well, I fell over," Kagome said crossly. Thank god they had finished their... act... awhile ago. A make-out session on the floor couldn't hurt anybody...

Except maybe Jaken. The toad was so angry he nearly bopped his own head with his staff.

"Not what it looks like!?" screeched Jaken. "Give Sesshoumaru-sama back his haori!"

"Ok, ok! Let me get something else to wear first..." Kagome snatched up her torn clothes and stalked out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sesshoumaru looked up as the toad came into his study.

"What did you learn on your mission?"

"He's pulling out his troops, sir."

"That's all?"

"He also promises to pay a certain amount of money and resources each year."

"The men?"

"They will be punished, sir."

"Good." Sesshoumaru picked up one of the three letters on his desk. "Send this to the Eastern Lord."

Jaken took the letter carefully and slipped it in his sleeve.

He leaned closer, curious.

"Is there something else that requires my attention?"

"No, sir. I was only wondering... your relationship with the human girl."

"None of your concern," Sesshoumaru said after a lengthy pause.

"Of course," Jaken said quickly, beating a hasty retreat.

Outside, he fumed silently.

He would have to be blind to not see what was going on. Correction – he would have to be blind, deaf and disabled.

It was all that miko's fault.

Nobody, nobody, had the right to come to the great Western palace and seduce its lord.

Especially not some miko. Weren't they supposed to be pure, anyways?

Grumbling under his breath, he made his way to the main gates again. Maybe, after delivering the letter, he would sneak a visit to the wench's friends.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I still can't believe you let her go with him, just like that!" Sango said, annoyed. "What if he'd just run off with her to Naraku, in return for a reward?"

Inuyasha snorted. "As much as I'm furious with Miroku about the matter, I'm not stupid enough to believe Sesshoumaru would stoop to that level."

"Calling someone stupid, are you?" she asked dangerously.

"Calm down, everyone," Kaede said for the hundredth time. "It's her life, you know. As long as she doesn't do anything... stupid..."

"It was her life, until Miroku decided to give her away," shot Sango.

"I did not."

"So did. Kagome would never have gone with him on her own free will."

"Hello? She did sleep with him."

"Yeah, like, they wereunder circumstances. I can understand Kagome's reasoning each time, be it fulfilling prophecies or whatever. But for her to go away with him, just because she wanted to?"

"But -"

"Well, we'll talk about your wedding preparations now," interrupted Kaede, sensing an argument brewing.

"Kaede!" Everyone glared at her.

"Better than arguing," she shrugged.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I just want Kagome-chan to be happy," declared Shippou.

"Me too," sighed Rin, carefully making a daisy chain.

"You think she will be happy? I mean, if she's with Sesshoumaru."

"Of course she'll be happy. I'm happy. Sesshoumaru-sama is so nice."

"I suppose," Shippou said doubtfully. "When are they coming back?"

"I don't know. But they'll be back. And I miss them both; but I like staying with Miroku-sama too."

"You do?" Shippou was sure the average girl would say otherwise, especially concerning Miroku's hands...

"Why not? Miroku-sama is so much better than Jaken."

"True," Shippou had to agree.

"Oh, he is. Jaken doesn't like me; he only takes care of me because he has an obligation to Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin said, giving a half-smile, half-frown.

"So, is Sesshoumaru like your guardian or something?"

"Guardian?" asked Rin politely. She was sure Sesshoumaru had taught her that word somewhere...

"Or you dad, or something?"

"No, no, of course not! My daddy's dead. Sesshoumaru-sama can be my... number two daddy!"

"And if Kagome-chan marries him? Wouldn't she be your mommy?" asked Shippou, allowing a tinge of jealousy to overcome him.

Rin frowned. "Of course not. Kagome-chan's my sister; my favourite sister."

"I see..." Shippou said, relieved. Now that that bit was cleared up... "But that doesn't make sense. If Sesshoumaru's your daddy, and his wife is Kagome, how come she's only your sister?"

"Don't know," shrugged Rin. "Why can't my sister be married to my daddy?"

Apparently, no one had explained to her the rules of family-planning. Then again, she was only a little girl.

"Never mind," Shippou said. "Can you read and write?"

"A little," Rin said. Well, she could write the character for flower.

"I can't," Shippou said sadly. "I did learn a hundred or so characters, but then my daddy died."

"Sesshoumaru-sama makes me copy these hundreds of squares I don't understand. Kagome-chan tried explaining a few, so I can write about ten. My daddy – my real daddy – didn't think girls should write. My real mommy agreed."

"So you can embroider and stuff?"

"No. But I can cook. And wash clothes. Oh, and arrange flowers," Rin said, recalling a day spent with Kagome in the flower fields awhile ago.

"Does Sesshoumaru treat you well?"

"He'll treat Kagome-chan well, if that's what you're asking," Rin said. She wasn't the world's most intellectual child, but living with Sesshoumaru and Jaken meant you had to learn to read in between the lines. "He's really nice to me, like I said, and he protects me. And he's so sweet and... and..." She fumbled for a word.

"You mean tender?"

"Yes! Tender."

"I see..."

He halted. Sesshoumaru? Tender?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Tender?"

"Not a valid reason," he said.

Kagome rolled her eyes; "Not fair!" she wailed. "You have to help! You promised!"

"I recall making no such guarantee."

"Ok, you have to fund Sango's dowry because you're nice, caring, sweet, tender, and handsome, loving, hot, gorgeous, skilled, wonderful, and -"

"Rich?"

"Something like that," Kagome said.

"You still haven't given me a reason I why I have to foot all the bills for your friend's wedding," Sesshoumaru said sternly.

"Because! You just do!"

"Because?"

"I don't know... Ok. Fine. I'm poor, ok? I get, like, only five hundred yen a day. My entire life savings won't be enough for a good, grand wedding!"

"So they can marry with a small ceremony. What's wrong with that? From what you've been telling me for the last day or so, they have deep feelings for each other. Surely with all that closeness they don't need a fancy ceremony."

"Oh, add selfish to your list of character traits!"

"I never said I wasn't funding, I only asked for a reason."

Her face brightened. "So you'll fund it?"

"Why?"

"Because..." Kagome racked her brains. She then got an idea. "Because seeing as Rin's so attached to Miroku, you could practically consider him her godfather. Which sort of makes you related, because Rin's practically your daughter. And if Miroku is your relative, and he's getting married, you can't say you won't help at all, right?"

His tail tickled her.

"A terrible attempt... but... I'll take your reason," he said, as though announcing bad news. Probably, it was bad news, too. With women and their love of buying pretty things, he was sure Kagome would make the proceedings as lavish as possible...

"Oh my god, thank you so much Fluffy-sama! I love you so, so much!"

"Kagome, get off me! And what the hell did you call me?"

"Uhh... oops," she said, blushing. Fluffy? What possessed her to use the name... Fluffy?

"That," he said, "is something I will record down."

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

"You see, there's no free gifts in the world. For everything you charge to my account for your friend's wedding, I expect to be paid... in full. And every time you call me Fluffy I will charge an extra two percent on the most expensive item you buy. Fair?"

"I'm supposed to pay you back?" Kagome gasped, dreams of solid gold sake cups dissipating.

"Well... in many ways other than gold..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"What? On the dining table?" Miroku asked, cracking up. "Did you see them?"

"Yes! Well, no. I came in, and they were on the floor all kissing and hugging with the girl in Sesshoumaru-sama's haori. But when I cleared the table they'd left evidence all over the place," Jaken said hotly.

Kaede and Sango looked scandalized, while Miroku laughed even louder. "What sort of evidence?"

"You know! The... usual. Well, I was hoping you could talk to your human friend and get her away from Lord Sesshoumaru."

"Why? Oh, god. Kagome and Sesshoumaru... who would've thought..." muttered Miroku before bursting into laughter again.

"Miroku, this is not funny," snapped Sango.

"Where's Inuyasha?" asked Kaede.

"Sulking," Shippou reported, appearing inside with Rin.

"Jaken-sama!" Rin said, enthusiastically latching herself onto his arm.

"I don't believe this!" Sango said, shaking her head. "He's a – a youkai! Kagome-chan wouldn't... Not for fun..."

"Kagome-chan wouldn't what?" Shippou asked.

"Never you mind!" Kaede said.

Miroku seemed to be the only one genuinely pleased. "Are they getting married?"

"I don't know! I asked Sesshoumaru-sama, but he told me to mind my own business."

"I wonder why," snorted Shippou. "If he'd told you, you would've come reporting to us."

Apparently, Shippou didn't feel like it was the worst thing in the world, either.

"I'm joining Inuyasha outside!" Sango said, marching out.

Kaede looked indecisive.

"Kaede, you do know that Kagome isn't from this time. In her world, everyone has equal rights. She can make her own choices," Miroku said.

"But... a miko..."

"Kagome-chan isn't any ordinary miko!"

Kaede sighed. "You win. Kagome can keep her Sesshoumaru. But you'd better convince those two out there..."

"Wait," interrupted Jaken. "What do you mean; the wench can keep Sesshoumaru-sama?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"We would've reached here sooner, if you hadn't dawdled along the way so much," grumbled Kagome.

"Who was dawdling? I told you to ride Ah Un. And who spent all that time in a village looking at the 'pretty wooden carvings'?" Sesshoumaru retorted.

"Excuse me? You kept demanding an early repayment of my 'debts'!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nobody has sex every two hours!"

"You mean, no humans. Youkai are a different story."

"Just shut up and fly us to Kaede's village, ok?"

"Manners, Kagome, manners," he scolded, lifting her onto the magic cloud that formed around his feet.

"This is going to be a long ride, isn't it?"

"Depends on the speed we fly at..."

"You know in my time, it's proven that women can do many things at the same time, while men can only concentrate on a single thing?"

"Nonsense. Men are superior in every way..." Sesshoumaru looked at Kagome and decided that it was the wrong thing to say.

"Look," she said impatiently, "I know you've been taught from birth that males, especially youkai, are better than women. But it's a fact that we can multi-task, and you can't."

"Of course we can," he said.

"Oh, I'll prove you wrong," Kagome muttered, glaring.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"They're back!" cried Jaken, already running towards the two figures, still quite far away. The rest of the group followed quickly.

The last wisps of a magic flying cloud disappeared around their feet. Kagome shook herself off, trying to straighten her clothes and pick dried leaves out of her hair.

"I told you men cannot do two things at a time," she said reproachfully.

"Not that sort of thing; besides, flying requires attention," he answered. "And you cheated by constantly shifting around, throwing the cloud off balance. Not to mention, trying to do what you did was..." he broke off when he saw the rest coming towards them.

"Kagome-chan, are you ok?" asked Sango, taking in her friend's dishevelled appearance. "He didn't hurt you or anything, did he?" she added, casting a dirty glare at Sesshoumaru.

"Oh, no," Kagome said, pulling a twig from her tangled mane. "He just almost crashed into a tree on his cloud."

"But pulled away in time," he was fast to add.

Miroku leaned lazily against a tree. "Kagome-sama, did you have fun?" he asked, his tone mocking her playfully.

"Wouldn't you like to find out?" Kagome said.

"Hell yes," he said, grinning a lecherous grin.

"Ok, houshi. You and I are taking a walk. And after that, you'll never ask such questions again." Perfect to discuss wedding plans, Kagome thought silently. But Miroku, if he'd heard the threat, didn't seem to mind, and followed her off the scene eagerly.

Sango glared at her fiancé, but let it pass. After all, she had bigger things to do. Like things cornering Sesshoumaru.

Kaede, perhaps, sensed the hostility radiating from Sango. "Inuyasha, I believe there was another cup of ramen in the hut..." She steered Inuyasha away quickly. Inuyasha, she mused, was still in shock (which explained why he wasn't already killing Sesshoumaru).

"Jaken-sama, will you help me and Shippou made clay dolls? We need help getting the clay from the ground," Rin said.

Jaken rolled his eyes, about to say no, before Sesshoumaru's glare fell on him.

"Of... of course, Rin... Well... uh... lead the way..." Jaken said nervously.

Which left Sango and Sesshoumaru, alone, with Sango's boomerang quivering slightly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So, did you have fun?" asked Miroku when they were a suitable distance from the rest.

Kagome arched an eyebrow. "Do you have 'fun' with Sango?"

"Of course not. I wouldn't dare. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, though," he added quickly. His experience with women was extensive, and he knew, from previous mistakes, never to black-mouth one lady to another. God knew how fast gossip travelled in their embroider circles, which would have been better-named as gossip factories.

"I've got the perfect wedding planned for you two," Kagome said, quickly changing the subject. "You fork out your side of the money, and I'll pay for the rest. Dowry included."

"And how do you come across this massive wealth?" he asked. Almost immediately, Miroku regretted asking; his overactive imagination had already given him an idea.

"I have a generous friend," Kagome said easily.

He looked at her warily. "That friend wouldn't happen to be a youkai we know, would it?"

"Actually, how coincidental! I do believe -"

"Kagome, you're very practically prostituting yourself. I won't allow it."

"Nonsense. I'm like his mistress. He has the obligation to keep me in style and give me pocket money. And it's not his problem what I spend my pocket money on."

"So that was your original plan?"

"Actually, no; so don't feel so bad. I only got the idea after we 'had fun'."

"Sango won't let you do this."

"Who said she had to know?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: XD I'll leave it to your imaginations what Kagome tried doing to Sesshoumaru while on his cloud.