Opia: It's been a while since I updated anything.... I'm tired...

Cari: ........... Opia doesn't own anything.... nor does Josco....

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Talking Cows and Magical Holes

"Dad?!"

Link sat up from his dream. His face was covered with sweat. A knock came from his door. Kindra stood there. A wind was picking up outside.

"Link?" Kindra asked, brushing a leaf out of her hair, "Can I come in?"

"Y-yeah, sure." Link wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Thanks."

"Uh-huh, of course. Hmmm…."

Kindra looked at Link, concerned. "You okay?"

Link smiled goofily, "Yep! I'm okay! How're you?"

Kindra smiled back, "Great! I just came back from Saria's house. She says that Ruto isn't too upset about what happened a few days ago."

"Huh?" He thought for a minute, "Oh… that… good."

Kindra shook her head. "I was worried you had forgotten… Hey, where do you keep those bottles?"

Link jumped off the bed and stretched, "How's about some food?"

He ran out of the hut.

"Link!!"

She ran after him, leapt off the balcony, and tackled Link.

"DAMN!"

"How do you keep those with you?!"

"I… uh, you don't wanna know."

Nori popped up, "Need help Kindra?"

Link tried to squirm out of between Kindra's hands. He was just about to reach the entrance to the Lost Woods where he hoped to escape to Zora's domain when he tripped and fell down a hole that magically appeared under him.

"Whoa–"

It closed up.

"Ooh. Magical holes… Whee." Noticed a cow. "How did you get in here?"

"Wouldn't you like to know…" The cow mooed.

Link blinked. "I'm talking to a cow… and it's answering…."

"Yeah? So? In some games, donkeys talk."

Thinking, Link sat on a rock. "Hmm. Sure." So, Link got up and poked the cow. "Are you real? And waddya mean 'game'?"

The cow slapped its forehead with its hoof,lost its balance, and fell over. Link busted up laughing.

"Don't try to ice-skate!"

The cow blinked, Link looked stupidly at it.

"Why would I? I'm a cow."

Link rubbed his head, "Wait, wait, wait! What the hell is going on? I fell through a hole, that's gone now, and I'm talking to a talking cow… Am I dreaming?!?"

"No. But I can kick you if you'd like proof." He made to hit Link.

Link waved his arms franticly, "No I believe you. Really, I do."

He pulled out a deku stick and poked the cow with it. The cow mooed irritably and glared at Link. Seeing this, Link smiled nervously and backed away, falling into a hole… Again… He isn't very lucky. But, the cow snickered and calmly walked into the same hole before Link could get out of the way.

"Oof! Ya damn cow. I otta–"

He was blinded by a bright light.

"Look at the pretty lights… whee…."

A thump sounded in the distance as the cow landed, surprisingly not on top of Link. He rubbed his eyes to try and make out his surroundings. He saw nothing but red eyes. Link swore under his breath. The red eyes laughed.

"Hello, there. 'Hero of Time'." The eyes said mockingly.

"Why are you here?" Link groaned.

"This void is a place I created." The voice continued ignoring Link's query "It's nice here," The voice commented, "Quiet… I come here on bad days… Or days when I want to play with people's souls... There are no laws of physics here…."

Link blinked, "What the hell are you babbling about?"

The eyes bobbed up and down as the voice laughed. "What the hell are you babbling about?" The voice mimicked.

Then suddenly the eyes split and two voices could be heard.

"What did Saria put in my tea?" Link thought, not a single thing came to his mind, "Dammit! I can't think!"

"Is that a new discovery?" Came the cow's monotone voice.

"Ha ha…" Link muttered.

Suddenly a brick dropped onto his head and he wokein a bed. Kindra and Nori's worried faces hovered above him.

"Link?" Saria placed a cloth soaked in vinegar on his cheek.

"What happened?"

Kindra looked embarrassed, "I shot a deku nut at you, hopping to calm you down… but I hit you pretty hard and you fell off that cliff near the entrance to the Lost Woods. Then, you started mumbling something about talking cows and glowing, talking eyes."

Saria giggled.

"I…" He remembered, "I don't know what you're going at… Dreams are supposed to be weird… can I go now?"

Nori and Kindra looked at Saria.

"Well, you broke your leg…."

Link blinked slowly. Pain suddenly surged up his leg. He gasped in pain.

Then, the Hero of Time yelled, "I want mymilk!"

Nori looked at him weirdly, "Milk?"

"The one with the bright green label!"

"Er… okay… where is it?"

"In my umm… Just a minute." He thought hard, "Under my bed where I hide the rest of my d–er–things…."

Nori raised an eyebrow. "Not gonna ask."

She left the room to get Link's… 'milk'.

"Uh, Link? What is the purpose of this white powder?"

"It's-it's… uh… a pain killer!"

Kindra blinked, "Um… sure Link, sure it is."

Nori re-entered with the green labeled bottle. Link grabbed for it but Saria opened it first. She sniffed it.

"Link, this is not milk… It smells funny…."

"It's a special kind of milk?" Link tried hopefully.

Nori scoffed and took the bottle back. "I don't think you should drink this now… or ever…."

She poured it out the window.

"No!" Link struggled to grab her but failed. "DAMN YOU!!! I wanted that!!!!!! Grr!"

Saria shook her head, "Now I'm convinced that wasn't milk. But, this is."

Handed him a fresh bottle of Lon Lon milk. He pouted.

Saria waved her finger warningly at him, "Drink that or you'll never get out of here!"

"But it's icky!"

"WHAT!?!?" Malon's voice came from outside the door.

Link eeped and started gulping down the milk, "Just kidding!! Hee hee! Wasn't that funny?!"

Malon entered, hands on her hips.

"Was that you I just heard insultin' my milk?!"

"Nope, nope, wasn't me!!"

Malon fumed, "What?!"

Link did his best innocent look.

She grabbed him by the collar, "This is how you talk after all I've done for you!? I gave you Epona!! Well, sorta…."

Link tried to breathe, "Technically I stole her…."

"Don't make excuses for this! Or distractions!"

Link eeped.

Malon started to cry, "All I try to do is be nice to you but-but, but I get n-no app-ppreciat-tion!!"

She sank to the floor wailing, for a second time in a week.

Link rubbed his temples, "Goddesses help me…"

He knelt down… well, no, he didn't, but he wanted to.

"Ow…" He muttered under his breath as he moved his leg. He tried to kneel, or even move but it hurt.

"Malon, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it… I was worked up from a previous argument."

Malon looked up, "Oh, did they find your laced milk?"

Link sweatdropped ashe nodded. "Yeah, they did… and my crack…"

Kindra jumped up, "I knew it!"

"Malon, you knew? Wait, how did it get laced?"

"What a lovely carpet you have in here Kindra." Malon avoided the other girl's eyes.

"Malon!!"

"What? He paid me!"

Nori smirked, "How?"

Malon shrieked, "It's not what you're thinking!!"

Link blushed, "Seriously… ick."

"HEY!" Malon slapped him.

"What!?"

Nori and Kindra busted up laughing. Saria tried not to, but it was contagious.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" Both Link and Malon yelled.

"Y-y-yes it I-is!!" Kindra fell over laughing.

Malon tackled her, "Aah!"

They wrestled on the floor, which caused more laughing from Saria who was hiccuping with giggles. This was so cute it made Link start to chuckle.

"Damn," He thought, "Saria can be so adorable…."

Saria tried to say something but was hit with a fit of giggles and stopped trying. Finally the two stopped wrestling. They looked at all the others who were bent over laughing.

"What's so funny?" They asked, panting for air.

"E-e-everything!" They all gasped.

Nori fell to the floor laughing and Kindra tickled hermercilessly, which, of course, made her laugh harder. Link began laughing, fell off his bed onto his floor, and rammed into Malon, who was beginning to catch her breath.

"Ow! Link!"

"Hee-sorry-he hee!"

Malon pushed him away, "You're all high!" She yelled.

"So?!" Came the general answer.

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Opia: Odd chapter...

Cari: Review if you want to....