Hidden Pain
Disclaimer: Don't own Daria, Jane or the Evanescence song "Tourniquet". These were used only to entertain and not with malicious intent and were put back where they belong after I was done.
A/N: I know some people don't like songfics so I'm warning you, if you don't like'em, maybe this one's not for you.
She was so pissed off at herself. She had done it again. She hadn't planned to do it mind you. Quite the opposite really. She had been so sure that she was over this. It had been just over a month since she had last taken a blade to her flesh.
"Will this never end? Or am I going to keep on doing this until one day I hit something vital and bleed to death? Accidental suicide. Or maybe it wouldn't be so accidental." Daria sighed as she sat on her bed, leaning against the wall, resting her left arm on her crossed legs. She stared at the horizontal marks, red and some still wet with blood, standing out starkly against the creamy whiteness of her arm. The fresh cuts crossed over old scars, making patterns on her skin.
Daria stood and crossed the room, listening to see of anybody else was home yet. They weren't.
"Figures," she muttered to herself. "They all have lives. Normal people don't sit at home on a Friday night hacking into their own arm."
She sat back on the bed and turned on her discman, put her headphones on, and began to listen to Evanescence's Fallen. She skipped straight to the track that best fit the way she was feeling. As the music began Daria closed her eyes and unconsciously rubbed her left arm.
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more (so much more)
I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My god my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My god my tourniquet
Return to me salvation.
Daria was started back to reality at the sound of the phone ringing beside her.
"Hello Morgendorffer crematorium. You kill 'em we grill 'em."
"Yo, Morgendorffer. Do ya take live subjects too?"
"Depends who it is."
She didn't really feel like talking to Jane right now, but also didn't have an excuse not to. 'Actually,' she thought, 'Maybe I should get out of the house, away from temptations'. "What do you want Jane?"
"Well, since you asked, wanna come down to Dega Street with me?"
"What for?"
"I dunno, just felt like taking a look see and checking out the kinda people with no lives that hang out at Dega Street on a Friday night. See if I can't find me some interesting subjects for my next painting perhaps."
"Sure I guess. Do you want to come here first, or me come there?"
"I'll come and get you. Cya soon Amiga."
"Yeah, bye Jane." Daria hung up the phone and decided to listen to the rest of her song before Jane arrived.
Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My god my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My god my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide.
As the song ended Daria switched off the discman and went in the bathroom to remove the last traces of the blood from her arm. When she was done Daria slipped on her trademark green jacket and boots, then headed downstairs to wait for her best friend to arrive, and take her away from here. If only for a while.