Note: It took me a while to realize that I could no longer access on my version of Internet Explorer (I thought that the site had been down the past couple of weeks). Thank you so much for your patience; I hope you're still interested and don't blame you if you're not ;o)
Edited Out Song Lyrics: 2005 04 27
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Chapter 24
Decisions, Decisions
(Logan)
Logan stood alone on the open grounds of the estate, the light of the boathouse to his rear. He had left the house only moments before on the urging of Scott. It didn't take long for Logan to figure out what Scott was up to—he had a smirk on his face that was synonymous with 'about to get lucky'. Logan couldn't help but be envious of the thought of Jean and Scott together—envious of the fact that Scott would be with his love, while he could not.
But whose t' blame? He wondered to himself, looking into the darkness of the night. His memories were flooded with the instant he yelled Jean's name while in the middle of making love to Ororo—how could he be so stupid? It would be so easy to place the blame on anyone else 'sides me, but I can't. It's my fuck up!
He wondered to himself, looking into the darkness of the night. His memories were flooded with the instant he yelled Jean's name while in the middle of making love to Ororo—how could he be so stupid?He shoved his hands in his pocket, as he made plans on what his next move would be.
An unexpected hand grabbed his shoulder, causing him to spin around in a panic and snatch whoever was behind him, his claws extended in the direction of an unseen face.
"Relax, Logan," a famine voice whispered, breathing heavily. All she could do was focus her eyes on the three sharp blades that were too close for comfort. One wrong move and she could lose an eye at the least, her head at the most. "It's me."
He stepped back, releasing his grip on her arm and retracting his claws. He could tell that the red-head was jolted by his actions. "Sorry, Jean."
She straightened out her shirt while shaking her head. "I think this is the first time that I ever got the jump on you. Didn't you hear me coming?"
"Naw." Looking away into the night's sky, he shoved his hands back into his pockets. "My mind was elsewhere."
"Hmmm." A smile began to spread across her face as she wiggled her brows. "That could only mean one thing."
"Yeah? What's that?"
"Someone's in love," she stated in a sing-song voice. She never did get the chance to talk to Logan about his new love interest and that moment seemed as good a time as any.
Logan looked at her with cold eyes, almost daring her to speak again. If she knows what's good for her, she'll leave it alone.
Jean was completely oblivious to his thoughts and spoke on, "The past couple of weeks I've noticed you've been…"
"Stop your diggin', Jeannie," he warned in a low voice.
She grabbed hold of his arm, pulling him closer to her. "Come on. I just want to meet her…"
"I mean it," he said more sternly, trying to convince her that he wasn't in a cheerful mood.
Jean didn't get the message. She pushed on, "The least you could do is tell me about her…"
Yanking his arm away from her, he yelled, "It's over, Jean! There is no, her. Satisfied!"
She was taking aback by his sudden outburst of anger. "I—I didn't know."
"I guess you waited jus' a li'l too long t' start your snoopin'." His tone was too bitter, too harsh, too blank for Jean not to take it to heart.
She looked down at her fingers as she twisted them, doing anything to avoid his eye contact.
He realized his mistake. "Listen, Jean. I'm sorry," he said in almost a whisper. "Didn't mean t' take it out on ya."
She nodded her head, accepting his apology. "I guess it wouldn't be far off for me to suggest that you weren't the one who called it off." She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You weren't the one who thought it was over."
Shaking his head, he sighed. "What I think doesn't matter."
"So, you're giving up?" She asked with disappointment. "The Wolverine I know would never give up."
He managed to crack a smile. "Who said anythin' 'bout givin' up?"
"That's more like it," she said with a wink as she smiled proudly.
Their attention toward their conversation started to drift when they realized that the X-Men were beginning to leave the boathouse.
Jean looked over to her house in confusion. "I wonder where everyone is going? I figured people would want to stay a bit longer." She noticed Ororo exiting her house and taking off into the air, flying high over her and Logan.
He followed 'Ro with his eyes and said, "Maybe you should go in and see why your husband is kickin' people outta the house."
"I'm sure Scott has a good explanation."
In fact, I know he does, he thought to himself, remembering the look on Scott's face earlier.
Logan was finally able to look away from Ororo, when she disappeared high into the sky, and back to Jean. The entire situation between Jean, Scott and Betsy was still in the back of his mind. "Everythin' is now good between the two-a-you?"
"It couldn't be any more perfect," she said beaming.
He could tell that her words were genuine; plus, she truly looked happy. "That's good to hear." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and turned to leave saying, "I'm out."
"I hope everything works out with you…and her," she called out after him.
"Yup," he replied with a wave of his hand. I hope so too.
(Remy)
Remy walked though the men's section, towards his bedroom. Absent from his walk was his usual stride; instead, he dragged his feet as if he were close to collapse.
On the surface, everything seemed to be going better for him during the past couple of hours. He had made his peace with Scott, he and 'Ro had mended their broken relationship. Sure, Jean was still upset with him, but he still had plans for her. And then there was Rogue. Nothing between them had truly been resolved; or maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part.
Her cursin' me out is pretty tellin'. Maybe it really has been resolved…maybe it's finally gettin' t'rough my t'ick skull.
He finally arrived at his bedroom door and sighed heavily. He took out his room key ready to unlock the door; however, on a sudden whim, he moved one door down in front of another room door. Before he had the chance to change his mind, he gave the door three loud, firm knocks.
It wasn't long before the door swung open with a disheveled Bobby facing Remy, looking totally caught off guard.
Bobby gave the other man a quick look over, trying to hide his shock. Remy's the last person I expected to see again tonight. I was so sure it would be Scott ready to talk about my ultimatum. "Hey," he said as a weak greeting.
A couple of seconds went by before Remy realized that he wasn't going to be invited inside, so instead he asked, "Ya mind if I come in?"
Bobby was tempted to answer 'yes, I mind if you come in'; it was almost automatic. Instead he answered, "No, I don't mind." At that point, he really didn't mind; he really didn't care.
The thief walked in, taking a quick glance to re-familiar himself with the room. Turing back to Bobby, he mumbled, "It's been a while since I was last here."
"Yeah, it has been." He scratched the back of his head uneasily, not sure of why the uninvited guest was there.
"You still have pogs?" Remy asked standing over Bobby's nightstand, which was covered with unopened pog packages. He lifted one of the packages up and cracked a smile at the cartoon picture of a brown alien. "ALF pogs?"
"Yup, you gotta love AFL. Sure it was a fad, but in another 20 years they'll be worth triple the amount," he stated seriously as he gathered up the pogs and started to move them to the bottom draw.
"Most people invest in de stock market or in property." With a grin, Remy added, "Dey have no idea dat dey're missin' out on somet'ing so lucrative."
I know sarcasm when I hear it. Bobby closed the draw and stood up facing his teammate. "Hey, not that I don't love the small talk and all, but is there a reason you're here?"
. Bobby closed the draw and stood up facing his teammate. "Hey, not that I don't love the small talk and all, but is there a you're here?"I know sarcasm when I hear it…"Oh right," he said snapping his finger as if he just remembered the reason why he had knocked on the door. "I jus' wanted t' let you know dat it's over," he stated simply.
Bobby stared blankly at the other man, not understanding what Remy meant.
" 'Tween me and Rogue. It's over," he restated with clarity.
What! Bobby thought as his heart skipped a beat. He looked over at Remy's poker face and started to laugh. "Get the fuck out of here," he chuckled with a wave of his hand. He got me good. I almost believed him.
Bobby thought as his heart skipped a beat. He looked over at Remy's poker face and started to laugh. "Get the fuck out of here," he chuckled with a wave of his hand."Well it's true," he answered with a shrug, already expecting and understanding Bobby's disbelief.
Bobby then remembered how standoffish Remy and Rogue acted toward one another at Scott's house. It all became much clearer to him. Remy's probably just pissed off at Rogue again. He's always gets mad at her than then cools down over time. "Oh, so Rogue called it off again?" He asked with a wry smile.
Remy nodded his head, willing to let Bobby's little dig slide. "And for de first time, I'm willin' t' accept it. I won't be chasin' after her; jus' t'ought I'd let ya know."
Bobby rolled his eyes, not willing to believe the thief. "Her turning you down is nothing new. What has changed now for you to finally give up?"
He looked up toward the ceiling, contemplating Bobby's question before answering, "I don't know."
But he did know—deep down he had an answer. Subconsciously, he was keeping count of all Rogue's 'hell no's', 'get a life' and 'fuck off's'—somewhere deep down, her latest rejection of him was the last straw.
What's de tally? It's got t' be like, 264…give or take. I have my pride t' t'ink of—or what's left of it.
If only that thought was the truth. If only he could make himself believe that his dignity was the only reason he would pursue Rogue no more. There was another reason—a reason he couldn't quite put his finger on.
An image flashed in his mind of the last night Rogue activated the bracelet. He remembered tucking her into bed and covering her with a blanket—a blanket designed with colorful butterflies.
Bobby shook his head, trying to understand where Remy was coming from. He didn't want to get his hopes up. It's like a game to them. One time they're together and so in love and the next minute they can't be in the same room with each other. "I just don't get why this time is different than all the other times she turned you down."
He shrugged Bobby off, not really hearing what was said. His mind was elsewhere, on other things from his past that for some reason began to resurface. He had a distant smile one his face as he began to speak, "When I was younger, before Jean Luc took me in, I'd go squattin' in different abandon houses durin' de rain season…an' one day when de sun was high in de sky, I saw a butterfly. Man, dat butterfly had t' be dis big," he said with the excitement of a young boy. He spread his thumb a couple of inches from his index finger, recreating the insects size.
Taking a seat on a chair in the room he continued, "I chased de butterfly down de street, runnin' t'rough places I had no business bein', jus' 'cause I had t' have it. I almost got my ass beat by de people I stepped on and crashed into, but I caught it!" Remy let that moment hang in the air as if he was reliving the small victory of his youth.
The longer he talked, the thicker his accent became. He continued the story gushing, "Dat was like my first pet. It was so fuckin' colorful; I ain't never seen not'ing dat big before—it could barely fit in de jar I found; I didn't even put holes in it. De wings were breakin' off an' shit—I was a kid, I didn't know what I was doin'. When I woke up de next day, it was stiff." As he spoke, memories of Genevieve and Rogue dead in his arms were racing through his head.
" 'Ttil den dat butterfly was de prettiest t'ing I ever saw in my life…an' I killed it." Shaking his head, he added, "I guess it fucked me up for awhile."
"Shit," was all that Bobby could muster to say. It was obvious for him to connect Remy's story of the past to the present.
"I know now dat I should have let her go," Remy whispered to himself, looking at his fingers.
Bobby raised his eyebrows, overhearing what was said. "You still talking about the butterfly?"
Remy ignored him and asked, "What was dat phrase you told me 'bout love de other day in de livin' room?"
It took only moments for him to recall what he had said. "If you love something let it go."
"Dat's it." He paused a moment, remembering that he had heard that saying before. "Dere's more t' it, isn't dere?"
"Yeah." Bobby nodded. He never did tell Remy the entire quote. "If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours; if it doesn't come back…it never belonged to you in the first place."
He gave an eerie chuckle, finally understanding the meaning of the quote. "I guess dat's not so stupid after all," he admitted shaking his head. "Dat butterfly never did belong t' me. I guess dat phrase is better dan what Jean-Luc taught me: If ya love somet'ing, you fight for it."
Bobby noticed how sluggish Remy had seemed sitting there in front of him, how sluggish Remy looked for many years being with and without Rogue. "That's the problem with constantly fighting; eventually, you'll get tired."
"Tired." It was as if that was his first time hearing the word. He wanted to laugh, but a deep sigh came out instead. "Dat's exactly what I am…fuckin' tired. Tired of all de shit. Her shit—my shit…"
Bobby scoffed at Remy's words. "Yeah, sure you are," he replied sarcastically.
"I am."
"You say that now."
Jumping up from the chair, he cornered Bobby. "You don't know how good you had it, Drake, jus' bein' her friend. And when you make a play for her, that friendship is goin' t' go straight t' hell."
He rolled his eyes not giving Remy's words any weight.
"You're too good, Bobby—too good for her."
"What!" He asked taking a step closer to the Cajun, not liking his choice of words.
Remy shook his head, knowing that Bobby misunderstood what he meant. "She needs t' be wit' someone as fucked up as she is, dat way dere is always another person t' blame when de relationship goes up in smoke," he explained. "Yeah, you got your problems, but you're a lightweight compared t' most of us here—you and Jean both.
Before Bobby could counter, Remy spoke on, "So you and Rogue are gonna get toget'er an' ya may even be happy for a couple weeks—couple months if you're lucky. Still, she will be waitin', waitin' for you t' fuck shit up; de problem will be dat you won't fuck it up. You are goin' t' be lovin', givin' and most important honest. De perfect boyfriend and she will not be able t' handle it."
Bobby stood silent, not convinced by Remy's words.
"She'll fall apart, break up de relationship by her own doin' and ya know what? You're gonna end up hatin' her for breakin' your heart; you won't even be able t' stand de sight of her.
"I'd never hate her," he stated absolutely, hating how Remy was telling him how he would feel.
Remy backed down, taking in what was said. "Yeah, I use t' feel dat way too." But still he continued on with the theory of what Bobby and Rogue's relationship would be. "Once you break up wit' her, de truth will come out. You weren't de cause of de break up, her fucked up head was. Den she's gonna realize dat maybe I was never really de problem in our relationship…maybe it was her—maybe it always was her problem." Staring Bobby in the eyes, he stated with certainty, "Den she's gonna hate herself…I know she will."
Once he was sure that Remy was finished ranting, he shook his head, "You think you have everything figured out, don't you?" Pointing his finger at the thief, he said, "Well, you're wrong, Gambit. It won't be like that with me and Rogue." It can't be.
"Keep tellin' yourself dat and it might come true." He walked past Bobby, toward the door. "Anyway, dat's all I wanted t' say t' ya."
He was tempted to let Remy leave without another word, but something else in his body took over—Bobby just couldn't let Remy leave without getting something off his chest.
He rushed over to Remy before he could walk through the door. "Gambit, wait," he said placing a hand on his shoulder and turning him around.
"What?"
He took a deep breath. "Yesterday, after everything that happened with Rogue…I told Scott to either kick you off the team or I walk." For some reason Bobby felt like he had to confess.
Remy nodded his head as if he had suspected what had happened. "And how do ya feel now?"
"I feel like I don't want you to go. Not because of anything you said now, but because of everything that happened tonight, you know, at the boathouse." Shoving his hands in his pocket, he added matter-of-factly, "Besides, I got the feeling from Scott that instead of you leaving, I would be the one with packed bags."
"Don't be so sure 'bout dat," he replied believing that Scott would never mess with his friendship with Bobby.
"Where are you going?"
He shrugged. "I jus' wan' some time t' myself t' t'ink." Again he proceeded to walk through the door.
Grabbing his arm, he pulled Remy back to face him and asked him again, "Where are you going?"
"Down on Winston," he relented with a sigh.
"That's where the big cliff is." Rubbing his chin, he asked, "You're not planning on jumping, are you?"
Remy chuckled, surprised that Bobby was able to get him to laugh at a time when he could cry. "You tryin' t' give me ideas?"
" 'Night, Remy." He extended his hand as a sign of friendship, a sign that hadn't been present for a long time. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Remy accepted his hand.
"Bon chance, Bobby. I really mean it." With that, he finally left the room.
Bobby sat down on his bed taking in all that Remy had said.
Remy said that it's over—he's through with Rogue. Still, it was too good to be true. He didn't want to celebrate because he had been down this road before. Those too always break up; what makes this instant any different than the past break ups? It didn't take long for him to answer his own question. The difference is that Remy has never come to me and basically give me the okay to pursue Rogue. His heart began to race with the thought that maybe it truly was over between the on again/off again couple. And if that's the case, am I really prepared to act on it?
Still, it was too good to be true. He didn't want to celebrate because he had been down this road before. It didn't take long for him to answer his own question. His heart began to race with the thought that maybe it truly was over between the on again/off again couple.Logan jumped into the dented pick-up truck and sped through the mansion gates. He wasn't about to waste any time. After seeing Ororo flying over him while he was speaking with Jean, he knew that he had to track her down. There were only a couple of spots 'Ro liked to go to be by herself—he knew them all and was prepared to search them all. The atmosphere that Scott had created had been a night of forgiveness and Logan wouldn't let the night end without being forgiven and right his wrong.
Speeding down the narrow lane, he almost didn't see the dark figure standing in the middle of the road in perfect stillness. He honked the horn for the person to get out the way, but the figure remained still as if they were playing a game of chicken. At the last possible second, Logan slammed on the brakes and swerved off the road into a tiny ditch.
"Shit!" He stormed out the truck and knew instantly by the smell who it was. He walked around the truck, examining the extent of the damage. For the most part it was okay; however, a sharp object lying on the road punctured one of the tires. Now he would have to change the tire, wasting valuable time.
He turned back toward the road. "What the fuck are ya doin' in the middle of the fuckin' road!" He yelled charging towards the ghostly figure of the night as if he would mow her down; instead, he stopped mere inches from Besty's pleasantly smiling face.
"Now that's no way to talk to your fellow teammate," she said removing the hood from over her head, exposing the twinkle in her violet eyes. She then pouted, "I thought we all made up tonight."
"Not all of us!" He sneered. Turning around, he approached the trunk of the vehicle and found a spare tire beside the toolbox.
"Where are you driving off to in such a hurry?" She waited patiently for an answer; however, Logan was too engrossed with changing the tire. Betsy didn't care, she already knew where he was heading. Seems like the bastard doesn't know when to quit. "Let me guess. You're on you're way to see Storm."
"Shut the fuck up, Psy."
"But I was about to give you the heads up." She stood over him as he started to mess around with the hubcap. "I talked to 'Ro at the boathouse. I know how she is feeling in regards to you."
"I said, shut up," he repeated without looking at her.
"No, I believe what you said was 'shut the fuck up'," she strolled over to the hood of the car and sat on top of it, "which is too bad because I can help you out. 'Ro is in no mood to deal with you now or ever, but I know exactly how you can get back in her good graces."
"Forget everythin' that happened earlier on at the boathouse. I'll fuck ya up if ya don't get the hell out of here," he cautioned.
She did not heed his warnings and wondered out loud, "Wasn't it a weird feeling?"
He looked up at her quizzically, despite his best effort to try and ignore her.
"You on top of 'Ro." With a sly smile, she corrected herself, "I mean, her on top of you. Both of you building up to that one climatic moment…and then out of nowhere you called out another woman's name." Crossing her long smooth legs, she wondered, "Wasn't it a weird feeling…"
"You're askin' for it…"
"…how suddenly your mind was instantly filled with thoughts of Jean—so much so that without thinking you had to scream her name…"
Jumping up from his crouching position, he stood in front of her waving a wrench in her face. "Don't make me have t' tell ya again."
Uncrossing her legs, she continued, "…as if someone placed Jean's name in your mind…"
He froze in his spot, nearly dropping the wrench.
The smile spread wider across her face as he gave her the reaction she wanted to see. "…as if someone forced you to say Jean's name…"
"Someone?" He leaned into her, causing her to try and back up on the hood. "Someone forced me? Someone like you?"
In a moment of bravery, she leaned into him, her nose just barely touching his nose. "…you were like my little puppet." She gave him a mockingly sympathetic look. "You couldn't see me pulling your strings."
Impulsively he pounced on her, pushing her back into the windshield of the truck causing the glass to crack. His hands were firmly pressed around her neck as all his reasoning left him. As she struggled beneath him, he knew that his mind was already set on killing her—to hell with the consequences.
(Ro Joe)
Ronald Joe Johnson, known as Ro-Joe, landed in Rochester, New York, north of the city. He heard through the underground that Rochester was one of the secret places where Magneto gathered the mutants who wanted to live on his nation in space.
Roy walked for a while until he saw a man standing in front of nowhere. He watched him a long time from a distance and noted how individuals would walk up to the man, talk for a few minutes, shake hands, then leave.
That has to be the man. That has to be the guy who can get me off this damn planet and away from the cops, he thought as he approached the dark figure, scared out of his mind.
The bald headed white man with a red mustache looked down at the young man suspiciously.
Roy looked around nervously, unable to look the man in the eye. "Yeah, umm. I'm lookin' for a ticket to Asteroid M," he mumbled.
The man looked Ron in the eye, forcing Ron to do the same. "Who sent ya?" He asked in a ruff voice.
"Kn—know—know one," he stammered. "I over heard a couple of people talkin' about it awhile back. This is where you buy the ticket, right?"
He looked over Ron's shoulder sensing that the young man was bad news. "Don't know what you're talking about. You got the wrong guy." He turned around to walk away.
Shit! Roy had come too far to get blown off. He grabbed the man's arm and turned him around. "Hey, man. Don't jerk me around!" He held on to the man's shirt and pleaded, "I need a fuckin' ticket…"
The man pulled out a gun and pointed it straight to Roy's head. "Are you a cop!"
"Shit, man." He let go of the guy and held his hands up. Because they were standing so close, he wasn't able to see the other man reach for the gun. "No, no, I'm not a cop."
He wasn't about to take Roy at his word, and kept his finger on the trigger. " 'Cause if you're undercover, you have to tell me you're a cop. That's the rule"
"No, no, I swear!" Roy yelled as sweat began to pour from him. "I'm a mutie."
"Prove it!"
"Okay, okay!" Very slowly, he began to levitate.
The man watched Roy confirm he was a mutant and began to chuckle. "Sorry, kid." He said lightheartedly, putting his gun away. "You know how it is. We always have to check to make sure. Never know when some mole might try to sneak through."
"So I'm safe now?" He asked showing some sign of relief.
"Not really. You could still be working for the other side. We've had mutants betraying their own race to help the humans by sneaking on board and spying."
"Shit. That's messed up," he replied sadly, shaking his head. Still, he knew that time was ticking away, he was on a tight schedule. "So, can I buy a ticket or what?"
"Nope," the man answered, noticing the look of distress on the younger man's face. "The tickets aren't for sale. Magneto would never sell a spot on his Asteroid. It's open to all mutants who want to start over and have a better life."
"Well, that's me, for sure." Good thing too 'cause I don't have that much cash on me. "When is he comin' to take the next group of people out?"
"The next vessels leaves in the early morning. Just before sunrise."
Fuck." Chances are slim that I can see Sinister then Psylocke and then come back here on time for the vessel. "How 'bout the one after that?"
"There isn't another one after that." He pulled out a small piece a paper from his pocket and looked it over before answering, "Not 'til another three days."
"But I can't wait that long."
"Then hop on the one that comes by in the morning," he repeated looking at his watch. "The mutants will be gathering west…Buffalo, New York. Don't be late." And with that, the man turned around and went walking off into the night.
Roy stood at the same spot unsure of what to do. He could just blow off meeting with Sinister, but he knew that somewhere Betsy was keeping tabs on him through his mind and would know instantly when he was about to betray her. So instead, he made plans to travel way down south to the hidden base he knew Sinister would be. He would then give the mad scientist Betsy's message then fly up to buffalo in time for the last vessel. It was an impossible task, but he had to at least try.
Logan squeezed Betsy's neck tighter, not realizing the glow building in the middle of her forehead. Before he could react, a purple flash of light shot towards him, right between the eyes. He felt a sharp pain pounding through his skull.
Betsy watched as he grabbed his head in agony, noting that if he didn't have his healing factor he would be dead.
"Shit, Logan!" She yelled through her soar throat as she rubbed her aching bruised neck. "Just be lucky I didn't kill you—"
"Arrh!" Again he lounged for her only to be blocked by her mental shield. There was no way for him now to get at her.
She took that opportunity to set him straight, feeling intense pain running though her back. "I was lying, Wolverine!" Her voice was extremely horse and every word she uttered hurt. "I didn't fuck with your mind when you were making love to 'Ro. Think about it; really think about it." He was still extremely angry, but she noticed that his murderous rage was subsiding as he drew back his claws.
He actually listened to her and thought back to the incident and how everything played out.
Staring him down, she said, "You know I had nothing to do with your fuck up…but it makes for a good story doesn't it?"
She connivin', but not that connivin'. I have t' blame myself for what I did to 'Ro. "I don't have time for yer mind-game shit," he sneered even though he couldn't help but be interested in where she was going with her rant. Still he turned to walk away.
"Storm will never forgive you, I know. But if I told her the same story I just told you, she will believe me and you will have her."
He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her.
Her brow raised in satisfaction—she had his undivided attention. "Sure, 'Ro will probably hate me the rest of my life, but I'm prepared to live with it."
Stepping closer to her, he asked, "Why would you want t' help me?"
"No, not you, Logan. I want to help her." She took a step toward him showing him that she wasn't intimidated, her shield had long disappeared. "Even I have to admit how happy she was when she was with you. Now, it's like all the life has been sucked out of her. I hate to see her like this," she whispered softly as she bit her bottom lip in remorse.
He wanted to laugh. Did she really think I would fall for her shit? "You don't give a fuck about her feelings. I don't believe ya."
Inwardly, she shrugged. Even she knew that convincing Logan that she was sincere would only happen if she were actually sincere. "You don't have a choice but to believe me. I'm all you have."
He snickered at her audacity. "Don't think so highly of yourself. I don't need or want your help."
"Why not?"
"There's no way I'll ever let you have all that power over me. There's no way you're gonna have me under your fuckin' thumb." He walked over to the car and opened the side door. Before he got in, he gave her a last warning, "You better get out the way, 'cause this time I ain't stoppin'." Jumping into the truck, he started the engine and slowly drove out of the ditch and onto the road.
"The offer is still on the table!" She yelled after the speeding vehicle. "But it won't be for too much longer!"
The red lights at the back of the truck disappeared into the night.
Looking down at her fingers, she noticed a brake in her manicured nails. "Asshole," she muttered to herself as she made her way down the dark road. In the back of her mind, she knew that the fight was not over and that she would have Logan under her thumb.
Soon her thoughts drifted to more important things she had to deal with, like keeping her mental link open with Roy.
The minute he even thinks about ditching his responsibilities to me…
After an extremely long flight down south, Roy walked through the corridors of Sinister's layer. He had been there numerous times before fulfilling the duties that being Sinister's lackey required. It was a job that he sort of fell into; however, if he had really understood what working for a guy in a cape would have entailed, he most likely would have took his chances and went for his second job interview at Wal-Mart.
Sinister had long along informed Roy that he was perfect for the job because he needed someone who wasn't so known to the police.
In a couple of days when the cops release my picture to the press, I'll be fired for sure! He shrugged that thought off, hoping that he'd be on another planet by that time.
Turning the corner down the hallway he saw her; the little quiet girl no more than three years old, who he would usually see every time he visited the hideout. She just about freaked out when she saw him appear around the corner; however, she soon settled down once she recognized his face.
The nameless girl's skin was pale, her eyes hung low with weary. She wore a pale blue hospital gown about two sizes too big.
His eyes trailed down her clothes to her bare feet. Socks…she need socks. Her feet must be so cold.
There was a time when he might not have cared, but after months of seeing the child, he had become somewhat attached.
"Hi-ya-kiddo."
There was no answer, which was okay because he knew not to expect one.
Nodding his head in understanding, he said, "Still not talkin' much, huh?"
Again no answer.
"Here." He held a candy out, trying to tempt her.
She gave him a blank stare before she focused on what was in his hand.
Crouching down to her level, he added, "Go on, take it, shorty. I won't bite."
To his amazement, she hesitantly walked over to him, taking the sweetie from his outstretched hand.
It was like a breakthrough to him. "Good girl," he said with a satisfied smile. He watched as she popped the candy into her mouth, getting a better look at a portion of her head that had been shaved weeks ago. Her dull, lifeless brown hair had once again filled in and grown long, but still remained limp and stingy. It wasn't uncommon for him to see a trail of strains from her hair litter the hallway like Hansle and Greattle's breadcrumbs.
Looking down at the child in sadness he said, "I gotta go, kid. Probably won't ever see ya again."
The girl looked at him oddly, apparently not understanding what he had said.
Chuckling to himself he thought, That's what I get for tryin' to have a heart-to-heart moment with a mute three year old. "Go run off," he said giving her a soft pat on the head.
As if she understood him, she dashed down the opposite end of the hall and turned a corner.
Roy sighed heavily as he approached the final door he was looking for. He had stalled long enough and knew he had to hurry if he wanted to make it to the mutant gathering in Buffalo. Taking a step forward, he punched in an eleven digit code that very few people knew and made his way through the open door.
The lab looked just as it always had, filled with neatly stacked scientific equipment and a couple of big computers. Scanning the room, he spotted the man he had been looking for hunched over a keyboard.
"Hey, it's me," he announced his presence, softer than he had intended.
Sinister remained where he sat, not even bothering to look up from the computer screen. "What are you doing here?" He mumbled in annoyance. "You were not scheduled to be here today."
"I know, I know," Roy responded, taking a couple of steps forward. "Umm, I was sent to give you a message." He waited for Sinister to give him any sign that he was paying attention, but there was none. Roy stopped just behind his boss, removing the letter from his pocket. "I was sent by Psylocke." To his surprise, Sinister took a moment of pause from his constant typing.
The mad scientist looked up at Roy with a dab of intrigue, but he refused to let it show. "Just place it over there and leave," he ordered with irritation as he went back to typing on the computer.
"But I can't leave." His heart stopped as he watched Sinister look away from the screen and met his gaze. It was clear that Sinister did not like what he had heard.
Before the Scientist could say anything, Roy stammered on, "I—I'm suppose to—ah—wait for your answer and, and then give it to—to her."
He looked at the young man in amusement. "Last time I checked, you work for me. Yet now you seem to be running around doing errands for Ms. Baddock."
The name caught him off guard, considering that he had never heard Psylocke's real name before. "Braddock? Is that her last name?"
"Leave me be," Sinister replied with a wave of his hand as he repositioned himself in front of the computer. "I will read the letter in due time."
He gave a soft sigh of relief, just happy to get out of there alive. "Okay, sir. Whatever ya want. I'll be waitin' just outside the door." Turning around, he left his boss and exited the room.
Ro-Joe remained by the closed door, waiting to be summoned. He checked his watch then smiled confidently. I'm making good time. Looks like I'm gonna make my flight after all.
Finding a stool in one of the other rooms, he carried it back outside Sinister's lab and waited to be called on…falling asleep in the process.
(Bobby)
Bobby spent the better part of the night tossing and turning on his bed. He was too consumed with Remy's statement to even think about sleeping. He sat up on his bed, removing the covers from his body.
He looked at his alarm clock, fiddling with the machine until he found the on switch for the radio.
"This is WTYZ! Westchester's number 1 Oldie station!"
It was too dark and he was too lazy to change the radio station to something more contemporary, so he let it stay.
He laid back down on the bed, facing the ceiling as Phil Collins sang quietly in the background.
I bet any money that Gambit is cursing himself this very minute for even thinking about ending it with Rogue, he thought to himself as he looked toward the window. I'm positive that right now he is on his way back to my room ready to tell me that he was high the last time he came here, he thought with a firm nod. I'm positive he's bracing himself right this instant at my door preparing to knock…
he thought to himself as he looked toward the window. he thought with a firm nod.Bang, bang, bang!
His heart sank deep in his chest. It had never hurt so bad to be so right.
Bang, bang, bang!
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" He yelled as he jumped off his bed and stumbled in the dark to open the door.
"Hi, Bobby," Rogue greeted with a half smile. She stood before him in the same clothes he saw her in earlier.
"Rogue!" He was truly surprise to see her. Stepping aside, he gave way for her to past by him into the room before closing the door. "I didn't expect to see you again tonight. You said you were tired."
"Ah am, but Ah can't get to sleep. Ah need to talk to you." She sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Meaning that I'm the cure for your insomnia?" He reached over to his nightstand and switched on the night lamp, adding some much needed light into the room. "Thanks a lot."
"Very funny, Drake," she said giggling. Her laughs soon turned to silence, adding a sense of heaviness to the light atmosphere. Rogue eyed him with uncertainty. "Are things really okay between us now?"
"Yeah, sure, of course it is," he stated adamantly; however, her bleak expression caused him to doubt his own words. "Isn't it?"
Rogue shook her head in response, giving him an uneasy feeling. "Ah jus' don't get why you were so upset with meh in the first place." She had spent the past couple of hours after the get-together trying to figure out why she had angered Bobby—what caused him to be so rude to her during the basketball game. "So Ah asked Remy for some money to give you, Ah didn't think it would be that big a deal." She followed him with her eyes as he sat down on the bed facing her. "You said so yourself that Ah always meddle in your affairs. Why would this time cause you to be so mad?"
He knew that he owed her a full explanation, but he was hoping to put it off for as long as possible. He knew now that he had to tell her the truth. Searching for the words to speak, he decided to backtrack. "Remember years ago when I was dating 2Sarah?"
She smiled at the memory of Sarah, a girl he dated when they were teens. "How could Ah forget? She was your first love."
"Well, maybe not my first…we were dating for a long time and then we started to get really serious."
"Ah remember."
"And the night when we had sex for the first time…"
"Yeah, Ah remember." She tried desperately to keep from giggling, recalling the instant that made her laugh all those years ago.
"You made me tell you everything. The awkwardness, the confusion, the nervousness, the embarrassment…"
"…The 'Ah don't know which hole is which!'" She couldn't hold it in any longer and began to laugh uncontrollably. "That line was classic!" She wiped a single happy tear away from her eye.
Rolling his eyes, he said with a small smile, "You made me give you every detail."
She shrugged, adding matter-of-factly, "It was either that or Ah would have drained you."
And I didn't want that to happen. "I told you everything because of your little guilt trip. You know, 'please Bobby, Ah may never have the experience for mahself,'" he said imitating her southern accent.
Those days were hard on her. "Back then it was a very real possibility."
"You were my friend, my best friend and even though it was torture, I didn't mind sharing that part of my life with you. I trusted you," he said sincerely as she smiled. Sighing, he continued, "I guess I was upset that you didn't trust me enough to tell me."
His statement puzzled her. "What are you talkin' about?"
Denial, denial, denial. "I know, Rogue."
"I , Rogue."She stared at him blankly, waiting for him to say something more, but he didn't say anything. "You know what?"
"I know that you slept with him." Bobby expected a reaction of acknowledgement from Rogue, but she still looked confused. She's really good, acting like she doesn't know what I'm referring to. "With Remy," he added finally.
"Remy!" She yelled realizing what he was saying. "Ewww! Have you lost your ever-lovin' mind!"
"You don't have to deny it. I'm okay with it now." As okay as any man could be. Moving in closer to her, he said, "I know that you spent the night with him after you used the bracelet; remember when you lied and told me that you spent the night in your own room? Plus, I overheard Remy telling 'Ro that he had sex with you."
"What! Ah don't know why he told 'Ro that, but Ah did not have sex with him!"
Her words caught him off guard. "You didn't?"
"Bobby, please. If Ah was busted Ah would have copped to it by now. It never happened." Why would Remy tell a bald face lie like that to Ororo? She wondered to herself. Yes, Remy would lie, but he would never lie so blatantly to 'Ro. "What exactly did Remy say to her?"
Thinking back to the incident when he overheard the conversation, he said, "Remy told 'Ro that he finally spent the night with you."
She burst out with laughter, understanding where the confusion might have slipped in. "Technically that was the truth. We did spend the night together—sleepin'! That's probably what Remy meant."
Slapping his head in stupidity, he exclaimed, "Shit! All this time I thought you were lying to me." He ran his fingers through his hair in astonishment. "I mean, I even phoned Jubes to get her opinion on the matter."
"Jubilee? And what did she say?"
"Well, she told me that she could believe that you slept with Remy because you slept with him in the cave."
She rolled her eyes, annoyed that Jubilee wouldn't let that bit of gossip die. "Jubes is always spreadin' around that rumor about meh and Remy in the cave."
"So, that isn't true either?"
"If Jubes tells you anythin', you should automatically know it's not true," she stated with a firm nod, knowing that Bobby should have known better.
He agreed with a smirk, "After all, Jubes is the one who said that Xavier became paralyzed after a botched sex change operation."
Rogue looked at him in confusion. "Ah heard X was paralyzed after a failed attempt to suck his own dick."
Bobby snickered, hearing that rumor for the first time. "Spreading rumors is like a game of broken telephone; mix ups are bound to occur."
Rogue smiled, more so at their renewed friendship than his little joke. Still she was upset that a bit of miscommunication almost destroyed their relationship—it should not have happened.
With deep concern she looked him straight in the eyes and asked, "Why didn't you jus' ask meh if Ah had sex with Remy when you first found out?"
It was a simple question with a simple answer he didn't want to give. "I thought you wanted to hide it from me so I didn't say anything," he answered with a sigh, embarrassed by his behavior.
She gave him a light slap on his arm in mock anger. "Instead you acted like the biggest jerk."
He nodded regretfully, accepting her critique of his actions. "I'm sorry about that."
How could she be mad at him for how he acted? There was no way she could hold a grudge for too long. A slow smile crept across her face, giving him reason to smile with her. "Ah'm sorry too. Ah should have told you that I spent the night with Remy. Ah guess Ah jus' didn't think you'd believe the truth if Ah told you. It wasn't planned or anythin', it jus' sort of happened."
"So you really are just his friend?"
"Yup," she answered without hesitation.
He looked to the ceiling in relief. "I never really believed it, but I guess it is true." First Remy tells me that he's over her and now she's basically telling me that she's over him! Can my life get any better than this moment?
It was now of never. I have to tell her how I really feel. It's the perfect time. He knew that if he didn't speak up that minute, he might never again find the courage. "I want to talk about something else," Bobby started saying as a familiar tune began to play in the background, which caught Rogue's immediate attention.
It was like a sign from the heavens. She could hear the soft reggae beat followed by the voice of Bob Marley.
It was the song that she and Remy danced to days before on the lawn of the estate. Soon all she could hear were the words to the song, totally ignoring Bobby's nervous speech.
As she listened, events from the past couple of days replayed in her mind.
The first night in Henry's lab when she first told Remy about the bracelet. His words to her, 'Rogue, jus' know dat I'm here for you. No matter what you decide, I'll always be here…I'll be whatever you need me t' be.'
The afternoon when they were in the living room alone on the couch. She was anxious about having to negate her powers and instead of rushing her he grabbed the booklet, tossed it aside and changed the subject—showing her that he could wait as long as she wanted.
Later on in the night after she activated the bracelet, he was right by her side the entire night, suppressing his own physical needs to be there for her emotionally.
The next night driving away from the dump after she had been attacked, she was determined never to be without her powers if it meant never being hurt again. It was with an ease that he reminded her that 'not every touch hurt…' and then showed her.
Sweet, understanding Remy who always knew what to say to reassure her finally admitted that he still loved her after the entire Antarctica ordeal.
And how did Ah return the lovin' sentiment. Ah freaked the fuck out! A lone tear dropped from the corner of her eye and roll down her cheek as the song played out getting softer toward the end.
"…But what I'm really trying to say is…" said Bobby as his voice trailed off. He looked up from his lap finally finding the courage to stop his babbling and ready to blurt out what he truly wanted to say; however the expression on her face caused him to take pause. "Rogue, Rogue?"
She snapped out of her deep thoughts, finally hearing that someone was calling her.
Bobby placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to get her attention. "Are you listening to me?" She had to be listening, I was going on for a good five minutes.
Rogue looked up from her fingers in time for him to see another single tear drop from her eyes before she could stop herself.
He looked down at her with concern, wondering if she already knew what he was leading to. "What's wrong?"
"Everythin'!" His question sent a rush of emotions flowing from her body. Burying her head into her hands, she cried, "Ah'm such a fuckin' idiot!"
Huh? "No you're not," he said trying to calm her down.
Her tears began to flow uncontrollably. "Yes, Ah am! Ah made Remy mad and Ah know he'll never forgive meh!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Ah was lyin' to you! Remy's never been my friend…not really."
He didn't know whether to take her statement as a good sign or a bad sign. Instead, he continued to listen.
"Ah love him…Ah've always loved him, Ah think, Ah don't know. He's jus' too, too fuckin' dangerous. He's too pushy always in mah personal space and arrrh!" She yelled in frustration, throwing his pillow across the room. Jumping up from the bed, she babbled, "Ah love him and Ah can't stand him and Ah like him then Ah'm indifferent and Ah told him to fuck off when he told me he loved me yesterday…"
"You what?" Yeah Remy said she called it off, but he didn't tell me that he told her he loved her.
She wasn't prepared to get into all the details, she just wanted to vent. "And he'll never forgive meh. Ah know he won't. He told meh he loved meh and Ah rejected him." She sighed, shaking her head. "Like his father, like his mother, like Jean-Luc, Ah rejected him."
He wasn't sure of how to respond; everything that she had blurted out came at a time when he did not expect it. I mean, she had just finished telling me they were just friends—I was finally willing to actually believe her… He was crushed, totally devastated, still all he could see were her tears, her sadness. "Rogue, it'll be okay," was all he could muster to say.
"No it won't," she whispered in sadness. Exhausted, she found her seat beside him on the bed, giving him a weak smile. "But thanks for sayin' it will be." With a soft sigh, she shook her head and said, "Whatever was between us or whatever could have been is now gone. He hates me," she said in a whimper.
"That's not true," he countered, trying to reassure her. "Why don't you talk to him?" Shit! Where did that come from? He asked himself in confusion. The last thing he wanted was for them to get together.
"Ah don't know where he is," she answered, wiping her runny noise in her sleeve. "He's not in his room. It's too late anyway; Ah already lost mah nerve."
"You have to talk to him now and just get everything out in the open. If you don't do it now, it may never happen." He was still in friend mode. His suggestion came out before he had a chance to stop himself.
"Ah can't!" She yelled rubbing away the last of her tears. "Ah told you that Ah don't know where he is."
He was given a second chance. He could just leave it at that. Just say to her, 'yeah you're right, there's nothing you can do now' and close the subject forever. And once the subject was closed, they could begin their chapter together. All I have to say is, 'Yes, it is over and done. Forget about him because he has already forgotten about you. Just focus on the future, our future.'
With his mouth opened, he prepared to speak his thoughts, "I know where Remy is," he whispered, his eyes lowered to his bed sheet. He just couldn't do it; he couldn't withhold the truth from her.
Rogue looked to him, not masking the hope that was in her eyes.
"He told me he was going to Winston."
She looked at him puzzled. "Over by the cliff? Are you sure?"
No, just say no. "Yeah," he finally mumbled his answer.
"Ah would have never guessed him to be there."
Of course not…which is why I should have kept my big mouth shut. "Well, he's there now. You might want to go over and talk to him before he goes someplace else."
She couldn't shake the feeling of dread the swept through her body. If only Bobby didn't know where Remy went…"You think Ah should?" She asked, hoping for an excuse not to go and face her problem.
He decided not to even bother fight it anymore. What's done, is done. "Yes, I think you should."
"But Ah don't even know what to say."
"It'll come to you in due time." He could sense her reluctance. "I'm sure of it," he added trying to reassure her. Great! Now I'm actually pushing her to go see him when she is clearly having doubts.
She gave him a hesitant smile. "Okay, Ah'll do it." Her voice was confident, although her body language said otherwise. "But what if he doesn't care about what Ah have to say?"
Shrugging he answered, "Then he doesn't care. At least then you'll know that you tried."
How could she argue with that statement? He said all the right things. "Thanks, Bobby." She smiled, wrapping her arms around him, giving him a tight hug. "Thank you so, so much."
"You're welcome." He could have held on for eternity, but it was over in an instant.
She was first to pull out of the embrace, still looking him in the eyes. The longer he stared at her the larger his doubts grew about letting her leave his arms only to go running to that of another man's. He had to get her out his room now, before he would do something he might later regret…or not.
He gave her a gentle nudge and said, "Now go on."
"Okay," she responded with a firm nod.
They both got up from the bed and walked over to the door. But before she left, she gave him another hug out of nervousness, or maybe for luck. Bobby did not want to let go of her, but in the end he decided to pull away; after all, she didn't belong to him in the first place.
And so with the closing of his door, she was gone—along with any thought of him confession his love for her.
Right now she's on her way to Remy only because of my urging. He looked out the window into the moonlit sky.
Maybe she'll chicken out and decide not to go…
His thoughts soon vanished into the night as he witnessed Rogue flying in the direction of where Remy said he would be.
If there is any hope left for me, it would be if Remy sticks to his earlier decision and not take her back. The thought caused him to feel guilty.
Here I thought I was doing Rogue a favor by sending her into Remy's arms, but if he really does reject her…maybe I'm not doing her that much of a favor.
Looking up at the ceiling, he wondered, Could I actually believe that Remy will turn her down? With a mental shrug he concluded, "Stranger things have happened."
It was only then when he looked to the corner of his room beside his bed, that he noticed a silver mental suitcase.
"What the hell?" Walking towards the foreign object, he snatched the white envelope that was placed on top of the suitcase. Written on the envelope in beautiful script was his full name.
With little care, he ripped open the envelope and read the short note that was inside:
Here's the $325 000 you asked for.
Try not to slip on anymore ice.
Betsy Braddock
Quickly he lifted the heavy suitcase onto his bed and popped it open. It was filled to the brim with dead presidents.
A wave of relief engulfed him as he smiled uncontrollably. "Yes, stranger things have happened." Looking back toward the window he grinned. "Maybe there's still hope for me yet. Yes, I let her go, but if she comes back to me…she's mine."
ooooooooo
Author's Note: The end is near.
1 Remy's story about chasing the butterfly was inspired by a similar story I read approx. 3 years ago told by rapper DMX in a XXL magazine interview.
2 Bobby's story of his love Sarah is not X-Men canon.
I really appreciate every review. Your critique and words of encouragement has helped me get this entire story on paper :o)
If I missed any names on the update list it is purely by accident or typing error. Also, I've recently moved and a lot of my printed emails have been misplaced and I'm starting to think that AOL deletes saved mail after a certain amount of time. Just email me again or leave a note in the review and I'll get you next time.
Next Time: Ororo/Logan hash things and out Rogue/Remy hash things out (is that vague enough for you?)