"I'm worried about him, Ron."
And I had just gotten to sleep...
"Yeah, so is Mum." Ron replied.
"And Lupin and Professor McGonagall." Hermione added.
Harry heard Ron's bed creak twice as they both sat down upon it. From his position facing the wall, he could judge by the light coming through the window that it was late morning. Why can't they just leave me be and let me sleep?
"How long has he been acting like this?" Hermione asked, almost at a whisper.
"I dunno.... Since he got here, at least." Silence.
"It's not healthy." She said at long last.
"What do you mean?"
"Being alone all the time. Brooding, sleeping. It just can't be good for him." She answered, a hint of plea in her voice, as if she were trying to convince herself as well as Ron. Silence again.
"I can hear you, you know." Harry said as he turned over. Even without his glasses he could see Hermione jump.
"Harry, I—" She began in apology, but Harry cut her off.
"Maybe I just want to sleep, okay?" He was trying to avoid the topic altogether, but he couldn't stand people talking behind his back all the time; it was just annoying.
He could tell by the look on Hermione's face that she didn't believe him. "You know... sleep late, like a... normal teenager. Normal.... Is that to much to ask?"
"No... I... It's just that, well, it's not healthy Harry." She said, looking at the ground. "I mean if you—"
"And HOW, exactly, would you know what's good for me?" Harry could feel his frustration rising. Why does everyone have to treat me like a child?
"Well, I don't..." Hermione muttered, eyes still glued to the floor.
"We just want to help mate." Ron said quietly.
"Well, yeah? What, WHAT do you think would help me? What could you possibly do? Hmm?" He was standing now, his anger rising at an alarming rate. "If you could bring him back, then by all means, help away, please! But you can't, now can you? No-one can...." Hermione continued to look down and the tips of Ron's ears were red. "Yeah, that's what I thought. And don't even begin to think you understand how I feel, because you don't and trying won't help. It's not like it's something you can learn from one of your precious books, Hermione." He added as an afterthought.
"We just want to help." Hermione said, daring to look up.
"Yeah, well the most you could do right now is just leave me ALONE!" Harry said and stomped off.
The next day he awoke in the late afternoon in Buckbeak's room. Harry stepped out of bed and nearly tripped over a small pile of boxes. He put on his glasses and saw that there was a large, hand-made card on top reading "Happy 16th Birthday, Harry!"
How could he have forgotten his own birthday?
The first package was rather lumpy and wrapped in brown paper; Harry didn't have to open it to know that it was one of Mrs. Weasley's sweaters.
Underneath the sweater was (yet another) book on the Chudley Cannons, which was obviously from Ron, especially seeing as it hadn't been wrapped. Harry almost chuckled. Almost...
The next present was in the shape of a small box, covered in shiny green wrapping paper. There was a card on top, reading: "Happy birthday! I hope this helps more than I did. Love, Hermione."
Harry opened it, revealing a wooden box with what looked like a small speaker on it. There was a piece of black glass set into the opposite side, and painted above it were the instructions: "Place a finger here." He did so, and the glass changed colors ever so slightly to a dark blue and the soft tinkling of a music box came from the speaker.
"The fellow who never makes a mistake takes orders from one who does." The box said in a sing-song voice.
Harry turned it over, confused. On the other side there was a carving. "The Mood-Reader: Inspirational Quotes Edition." It read. Harry was at a loss for what to think of this present.
The last present was rather flat and wrapped in silver paper, from Lupin. Inside was a picture of Sirius and Harry at Christmas, in front of the Christmas tree he had helped decorate. Sirius had managed to dangle a bunch of silver garland around Harry's neck, and the picture versions of the two were playing as if they were trying to choke one another, a grin on each of their faces.
Harry had forgotten about that...
His hands began to tremble, and he reached for the box that Hermione had given him, hoping like hell that it was useful; he really didn't feel like crying again.
"What the caterpillar calls the end is what the rest of the world calls a butterfly."
He furrowed his eyebrows. "How is that supposed to help me?" he was just about to set it down, when it spat out another quote.
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."
Yeah? My 'pain' isn't breaking anything. I understand what I'm supposed to do, I—
"Out of difficulties grow miracles."
Harry made an exasperated face. "How the hell is a miracle supposed to grow out of al this?!" he asked the box, a little louder than he meant to.
"When a door closes, look for an open window, but it may take a while to feel the breeze."
"What the—"
"Of all the people you will meet in life, you are the only one you will never leave nor lose. To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution."
"Yeah? Well what do you do when you're just a screw-up?!" Buckbeak looked up; Harry had begun to shout.
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
"But I only have one chance!" He yelled back to it, a desperate plea in his voice.
"In times like these, it is good to remember that there have always been times like these."
"But—"
"The most difficult matter is not so much to change the world but to change yourself."
"But I don't have to change the world; I have to save it!"
"If all people were to bring their miseries together in one place, most would be glad to take each their own home again—rather than take a portion of the common stock."
"I'd give anything to trade with anybody!"
"There are no hopeless situations. There are only men who have grown hopeless about them."
"I thought you were supposed to make me feel better, not worse!"
"To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste who you are."
"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?!" He shouted and threw both the box and the picture—which he had been holding all this time—hard against the wall. The glass of the frame cracked and the box sputtered for a few moments before finally quieting. Harry fell back upon the bed, breathing heavily, then realized that he had been shouting at a box.
Moments later the door opened and Harry, expecting it to be someone coming to check on him, immediately shut his eyes. But whoever it was began to mutter inaudibly, and he was quite sure it wasn't Remus or a Weasley. Then his eyes snapped open. It was Kreacher...
The house-elf was rummaging about the room, talking to himself, oblivious to the face that there was another in the room.
"You..." Harry said under his breath. "You! You're the—you're the reason Sirius is gone! The reason he's dead!" His voice was steadily rising, and the house-elf simply turned around to glance at him then went back to digging in the top drawer of the bureau on the other side of the room. Harry got off the bed and his arm reached for something on the wall beside the window; his anger finally broke.
"Don't you dare ignore me! You're the reason he's not here! YOU BETRAYED HIM!" He was practically breathing down Kreacher's neck, an evil—almost manic—glint in his eyes. "But, I'll be kinder to you! I'll give you your one wish! DON'T YOU IGNORE ME!"
Then, just as the elf turned around, Harry brought the sword—which he had almost unconsciously pulled from its fixture—down upon the house-elf's neck.
"There, now you can hang with your mother on the wall!" Harry laughed a hallow laugh, and Buckbeak moved toward the body, looking at it longingly.
"No boy, you don't want any of that filth." Harry said and kicked the body under the dresser then scooped up the head. He brought it quietly down to the hallway where the rest of the elves were nailed upon the wall.
Suddenly, the realization of what he had just done dawned upon him. Quite sure that he would get in big trouble for this one, he dropped the house-elf's head unceremoniously to the ground and ran to his room, where he lay himself down on his bed, the blood drying on his hands.
...He killed Sirius, that's why I did it... That's why; I was just paying him back. I gave him what he always wanted...more than what he deserved... he should've been tortured to death—felt real pain... I should've tortured him to death...
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Cried a voice, breaking his reverie.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" McGonagall cried as she threw open the door. "WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE?"
Harry turned over on his bed and looked down; there was no point in pretending to be asleep now.
"WHY IN MERLIN'S NAME WOULD YOU DO SUCH A HIDEOUS THING?!" McGonagall's nostrils were flaring more than he had ever seen them. "HMM?" She looked at him expectantly, and Harry could just see Hermione, Lupin, Mrs. Weasley, and several others were standing outside the door behind her.
"I—I—"
"Surely you must have a better answer than that!"
"HE KILLED HIM! HE'S THE REASON SIRIUS IS DEAD! HE'S THE REASON I NOW HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FAMILY! No-one to turn to..." He burst out, standing up now, looking his professor square in the eye. He had grown quite a bit over the summer.
McGonagall looked away. "I knew it wasn't a good idea to leave you alone like this all the time..." Her voice had softened considerably. "Come on." She turned him to the door, and everyone scattered back to their business.
"Huh?" Harry asked, wondering what she was going to make him do. Surely she couldn't assign detention during the summer...
"You heard me, come on. You're going to eat with everyone else tonight." She pushed him through the door and led him down the stairs. Harry grimaced.
A/N interesting chapter, I think, but it exhibits my least favorite bit of writing so far... oh, well. I'm really sorry about not updating sooner. This chappie was ready last Sunday, but one thing led to another, before I knew it, I was on vacation. Really sorry.
The picture from Lupin in this chapter was actually by "Fortune's Fool" by S. C. Hardy (which you should go read, now!) I just loved that bit so much, and I thought it fit in nicely here. So, many thanks to S. C.!
Also, FYI to some of my older readers, I took Mark Evans out of the story. I had felt obligated to put him in here before, but I never really knew what I was going to do with him besides sticking him in Hogwarts. And, now that J.K.R. has said he's a nobody, he has left the story waves goodbye
That's all for now.
Until my next update (or yours, depending on who you are ;D... no, I really do plan on getting around to review everyone who's reviewed for me. Just not today, I need to go to sleep... yawn),
Liseli