Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter. I do not.
Claimer: two hangers of old Mardi Gras beads. JKR does not.
Here's one terrible chapter title:
The Astute Headmaster
The Great Hall was as brilliantly lit as ever and still watched overhead by the nighttime sky. There were no clouds in sight, and the stars were so bright that they were reflected by the empty gold plates, making the whole hall sparkle oddly. It was almost enough to put Harry to sleep. That is, until the light hum of chattering students grew into an outright roar.
After everyone 'A' through 'Z' was seated at their respective tables and the first years had lined up before the Staff Table, Professor McGonagall walked though the hall and placed the Sorting Hat on its three-legged stool. The noise quickly died down, and an opening appeared in the ancient hat's brim.
"The Sorting Hat I am
For those of you who know
My job is quite simple
For you I must make friends and foes.
"I will separate you into houses
Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin
There you will spend your time
And from the others you will be driven.
"In Gryffindor dwell the noble
The brave, the true of heart
To this house, the chivalrous
Never to fall apart.
"To Ravenclaw I send
The wise, the strong of mind
Ne'er a smarter witch or wizard was there
Who was not of the Ravenclaw bind
"For Hufflepuff, the loyal
The kind, the laborious
Always there to lend a helping hand
For their caring, the Hufflepuffs are notorious.
"Lastly, to Slytherin
The true-to-self, the conniving
The Slytherins know what they want
And continue striving
"But there is something I must add
About the Houses as a whole
Something of grievous importance
Even for this school, so old
"As I have said it many times past
—And I will say once more—
It is imperative
That the Three Allied become the Four.
"Hogwarts is threatened
By the Evils lurking without
If the Houses are not united
The Evils will spread throughout!
"This is the final warning
If the hatred is not aborted
This will be the last year
Hogwarts student are sorted!"
Professor McGonagall's scroll landed on the ground with a thud that resounded throughout the momentarily silent hall.
Before long the entire schoolbegan talking wildly, abandoning the very idea of whispering. Harry exchanged worried glances with Ron and Hermione, then gazed up at the Staff Table to see Dumbledore looking more serious than most of his students had ever seen him.
McGonagall regained her composure and called the first name, "Aberdeen, Willoughby," at which the school was hushed once more, Dumbledore broke from his reverie, and the moment passed.
After all of the students were sorted, Dumbledore stood up to speak. "I am afraid that I must agree with the Sorting Hat's message. I am sure you are all quite aware of the new dangers outside the school, and the Hat is quite right in saying that if we do not unite, Lord Voldemort," at this there was an almost unanimous shiver, "will find his way into Hogwarts. The Dark Lord has a way of spreading chaos and inspiring the worst in people. It would be wrong of me to try to shield you from the truth," he looked right into Harry's eyes, "so I will tell you honestly that the only way for us to make it through this is to work together. Therefore, if all of the houses—all of them—" at this he looked pointedly at Slytherin then Gryffingdor "do not…get along, I am afraid to say that there will be no houses at Hogwarts next year." He paused then said with a great change in tone and expression, "But for now, we eat!" And all the glittering gold plates were immediately covered with the feast.
"D'you really think he would?" Neville asked as he leaned across the table, nearly getting hit by Ron with a spoon of mashed potatoes. "Take us out of our houses, I mean"
"I wouldn't doubt it…" Said Hermoine thoughtfully, who had yet to touch her own food.
"He didn't introduce a new Defense teacher…" Harry stated more than asked after a moment, still gazing up at the Staff table, scanning for new occupants.
"No, he didn't, did he?" Returned Hermione as she too turned her eyes to face the teacher's table.
"'Er'sth no-un new a'th' dable." Observed Ron through a mouth full of roast.
"Ron, don't talk with your mouth full." Hermione chided, giving him a disgusted look.
Ron made a big show of swallowing his food before saying, "Yes, mother." Hermione glared in return.
"Maybe whoever it is is just…late or something." Said Neville.
"But for the feast?"
"Yeah, I suppose you're right…"
"Well, whoever it is, they can't be worse than Umbridge." Said Ron between his cranberry sauce and his pumpkin juice, as if to bring an end to the matter.
"Don't say that." Said Ginny darkly, sliding in between Ron and Neville onto the rough wooden bench. "Or we will."
After the feast, the Trio made their way up the moving marble staircases and through the torch-lit corridors to the Gryffindor common room, only to find nearly all the Gryffindors packed together, standing outside.
"Whaddya suppose this is all about?" Ron murmured to Harry.
"I dunno…" Harry turned to ask Hermione her opinion, but she was already elbowing her way up through the crowd.
"Excuse me, excuse me. I'm a Prefect, excuse me." Hermione said as she pushed her way to the front. Harry and Ron were strongly reminded of Percy. "Pardon me, excuse me. Now, what is the problem here?" She asked when she met the two fifth-year Prefects responsible for letting everyone in.
"The—the password I-I-I..." Stammered a blonde-headed girl with freckles.
"Yes…?"
"We, I—Dumbledore said—I—but, but we can't—I—" She stammered again, apparently intimidated by the look on Hermione's face, which, Ron commented, was remarkably similar to that which Professor McGonagall often wore.
"Now don't be silly, just say it." Hermione persisted. The girl became silent. Hermione turned to the boy prefect standing next to her, who shook his head violently to imply that he could not utter the word either. "Come now, it can't be that difficult."
The blonde girl, who, after seeing how many people were watching her and waiting, suddenly seemed even more intimidated. She took a deep breath and beckoned for Hermione to come closer, then she whispered in her ear.
Something seemed to spark in Hermione's eyes. "Ohhh….I see. Well, I'll say it for you then, but just this once."
She turned to the Fat Lady's portrait, and said, loud and clear, "Lord Voldemort!"
The Fat Lady shuddered and yelped before she swung open to let the visibly rattled and shocked Gryffindors in.
"That is brilliant." Murmured Harry to Hermione as they met up in the Common Room.
"Yeah, trust Dumbledore to come up with that." Ronspat and shook at the thought. "I guess the rest of us will have to carry all our books around all day now."
"Or, you can just learn to say Voldemort." Harry said under his breath as he flopped down onto one of the red, plushy couches in front of the blazing fireplace. Ron jumped.
"I heard that!"
"Oh, come on! It's not like it's going to hurt you." Hermione said as she crossed her arms and joined Harry. Ron remained standing defensively.
"Yeah, he will." He replied, giving her an incredulous look.
"No Ron, the name. He won't come just because you say his name. Think about it."
"Well I think I'll just carry my books around, thank you."
"Where are you going to sleep then, hmm?"
"One of you will let me in." He answered and gestured with his hands to suggest that this was the obvious answer.
"No we won't, will we Harry?" Hermione turned to look at him.
"It's just a stupid name, Ron." Harry said quietly.
"Oh, fine!" Ron mumbled and stomped up to the dormitories
"He has to learn that it won't cause him any harm. Is that really so difficult?" Hermione sighed exasperatedly to herself.
Harry nodded and looked around the room. It seemed most of the occupants were thinking along much the same lines as Ron.
It's just a stupid name…
He stood up without saying goodnight to Hermione, as she seemed lost in her own thoughts, and made his way silently up the spiral staircase to his dormitory, whose door now read, "Sixth Years."
As the three entered the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, Ron laden down with all his books so as not to have to return to the Tower and say the password, Harry noticed that many other students—even those from other houses—had done the same. He commented on this to Hermione, who just shook her head.
"Let's see…Yes! We've got double Defense, first thing!" Exclaimed Ron, looking at his schedule, which was propped up against his pumpkin juice jug so he could read and eat at the same time. "Then…I arve 'n off perrid…" He said through a mouth full of egg.
"During which time we will be in Potions." Harry interjected.
"Haha, sorry mate." Laughed Ron somewhat half-heartedly. "Then, lunch, then Charms, and then I have another off period."
"When I'll be in Arithmancy." Hermione said from across the table as she began helping herself to some bacon from the platter in front of her.
"And I'll be in Divination."
"You're still in Divination?" She asked. He nodded nonchalantly in reply. "But I thought you failed."
"I did, but she put me back in the class anyway."
"Well, did you talk to Professor McGonagall?"
"Yeah, she said it's not a mistake…"
"Oh, well Harry, look at it as a free opportunity to sleep in class." Ron joked, earning a disapproving look from Hermione. ("Since when did you become my mother?!")
"Yeah, I will, if I can manage to sleep through her predicting me dying." He said rather unemotionally, then made a show of pretending to think for a moment and looked up at Ron. "Yeah, you're right; it shouldn't be that hard."
"Do you mean you really don't care about passing?" Hermione sighed, putting down her fork and looking him square in the eyes.
"No, I really don't." He replied firmly, returning the look.
"Whether you need the NEWT or not, failing a class doesn't look good on a job application anywhere." She said as she shook her head and picked up her fork again.
"If I live long enough to fill out a job application…" He muttered under his breath so that his two friends couldn't hear.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were one of the first students to arrive in Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, and the trio took their seats beside each other. Harry surveyed the room as he took his things out of his bag. There was nothing particularly distinctive about the room—just desks, stone walls, and a blank chalkboard. It could have easily been any one of the numerous empty classrooms in Hogwarts. Until, that is, he noticed the stone basin and a small silver instrument sitting on the professor's desk, which could only mean one thing…
Just then, as to confirm his suspicions, the bell rang and the door opened to reveal a white-bearded man in long, blue robes. The class gasped.
"Good morning, class. I am Professor Dumbledore—although I believe most of you are already aware of that," he said, eyes twinkling as he glided across the room to his desk, "and, as I have been unable to find teacher for the past few years now, I have given up and decided that it is time that I taught you myself."
Hermione was positively squirming with delight.
"In light of the Wizarding World's current circumstances, this class will focus primarily on defending yourselves against Lord Voldemort," there was yet another unanimous shudder, "and his followers. So, I would like to begin by asking you a simple question: what should you do if you happen to meet a Death Eater?" He gazed around the room, a bemused smile playing on his face. Hermione's hand went up, and he nodded at her.
"Perform a Protego Charm?" She answered, for once a little unsure of herself.
"No, the answer is much more simple than that, I assure you, Miss Granger."
Ron mouthed quite unnecessarily to Harry, "She got a question wrong!" Harry snorted, then thought for a moment. He put up his hand tentatively, and Dumbledore called on him.
"Errr…run?" He asked more than answered, recalling last year's encounter in the Department of Mysteries. His face darkened at the thought. Don't go back there… He thought as he closed his eyes longer than he would have if he were blinking.
Dumbledore noticed the change in expression and looked thoughtfully at the young wizard before wisely turning to face the rest of the class.
"Exactly. Your first and foremost concern should be getting out of the situation. Would anyone care to demonstrate?" The class looked around confusedly.
"Demonstrate what?" Seamus blurted out.
"Ah, thank you Mr. Finnegan for volunteering." Seamus's mouth opened to retaliate but the headmaster continued before he had a chance. "And…Mr. Longbottom. If you two will kindly come forward?" The two walked, or rather Seamus walked, Neville tripped, up to the front of the room, where Dumbledore put them just out of reach of each other. "First, you never want to be within reaching distance of your attacker, lest they take hold of you." He said simply and held out Neville's arm to demonstrate that he couldn't touch Seamus. A t this, Hermione's hand immediately went up.
"Yes Miss Granger?"
"What about defensive spells? Death Eaters won't just chase you."
"Yes, but seeing as most of the class did not realize that they should get out of the way, I thought it would be prudent to teach that first. We will begin defensive spells after Halloween." He replied courteously, sufficiently quieting Hermione.
"Now, keepingas far a distance as possible,you are to run. Neville, you are the attacker, Seamus, you are the defender." He instructed then looked at them expectantly.
Neville looked around bewilderedly, but then began to jog a little at a nod from Professor Dumbledore. That is, until he ran into Seamus. Ron, who was sitting in the desk beside Seamus, pushed him forward. Getting the hint, he began to jog slowly as well. The whole class did their best not to laugh as the pair ran in circles around the headmaster.
"Mr. Longbottom, would you pick up the pace a little please?" Dumbledore asked politely. "Mr. Finnegan, the most effective way for you to run and avoid spells would be to zig-zag from side to side and bob the upper half of your body, if you would be so kind as to demonstrate that as well for the class." He hinted with a twinkle in his eyes, and as Seamus did the class began to laugh outright. Neville turned red out of embarrassment and Seamus slowed to a stop and began laughting himself. Even Harry couldn't help but chuckle.
His lightened mood did not last though. Theperiod ended, and he made his slow descent to the Potions Dungeon with Hermione, head hanging increasingly lower with each step, and emerged from the class none the better.
The Divination room had changed little over the summer. The pink puffs were scattered around the tables, the scarves were draped over the lamps, and the perfumed fire was blazing. Even Trelawney looked as bug-eyed and batty as ever. Harry took his place in the back of the room by the window, settled in and opened the window a little. The bell rang and Trelawney began her lesson, though Harry noticed she was a little on-edge. She couldn't quite decide what to do with her hands and kept glancing at him through the corner of her eye. However, she never addressed him once—not even to predict his death. Thinking it was odd, but not particularly worried, he slowly drifted off into a warm sleep.
A/N: Sorry, I couldn't think of an ending. Also sorry, as usual, about the lack of updates. shakes head How was Dumbledore, in character or not? How about everyone else? Writing? Good? Bad? Blah?Tell me honestly s'il-vous-plait! Mardi Gras beads to all reviewers!