Title - Elves, Hobbits, & Mary-Sues, Oh My
Author - Paige Darke
Rating - PG-13
Disclaimer - Not mine. I don't even particularly want them. Too much stress.
Distribution - Ask, and ye shall receive. Really, I'm flattered.
Summary - A teenage girl is dropped into Middle-Earth. She finds herself the prisoner of a pair of Mary-Sues, with a complete lack of modern conveniences, reading material in ENGLISH, and everything she knows. And she most DEFINITELY does NOT want to be there.
Unfortunately, Elrond not impressed with us. Or maybe it was them. He kept givin' me some mighty funny looks.
Course that might have been because I was singing 'Unwell' - y'know, that kickass Matchbox 20 song - and twiddling my thumbs while staring around the room like I didn't know where I was.
Nah. Couldn't possibly be that.
~*~
"What is your business here?" asked the pretty Elf-Lord.
Mitanna - the blonde one - gave him her best smile and curtsey. "We are but weary travelers, my Lord, sent by our fathers on a quest of gravest importance."
Leilanni also stepped forward. "We are from the Hidden Lands, beyond the shadows of Mordor. It has been decide that we can no longer hide ourselves away from this world, and must help defeat the darkness that has fallen."
"That is why we have come. My name is Mitanna, of the House of the Golden Star, and this is my dearest friend, Leilanni of the House of the Silver Moon."
One of the twins turned to look at me. "And what of your companion?"
Huh? Me? What the hell do I have to do with this?
~*~
And that's what you GET for daydreaming during important meetings.
Shame on me. Shame.
~*~
Leilanni was glaring at me. Yeah, screw you too, bitch.
"Her?" Mitanna squeaked.
No, dumbass, the OTHER companion you didn't introduce.
~*~
No, there was only the three of us. Go look up the word sarcastic in the dictionary, will you?
Now stop interrupting.
~*~
Maybe the blonde didn't come from a bottle. Go figure.
Leilanni elbowed her slightly ditzy companion and went back to fawning at the Lord of Rivendell. "She is Kayli, of the fallen House of the Black Rose, and our hand-maiden."
~*~
Hand-maiden, my ass. If they thought I was going to do their bidding, they had another thing coming.
~*~
They didn't seem to care that I even LOOKED like I didn't want to be their hand-maiden. One of the twins smiled at me.
Oh, yum.
~*~
They showed us to our rooms. Glorfindel and one of the twins showed the Twits to their rooms, and the other twin - Elladan, as it turns out - showed me to mine.
No where near Blondie and Red, thank God. Or the Valar, I guess.
"Are you truly their hand-maiden?" Elladan asked.
Uh, they WISH, studly.
"Why ask?"
Sounded much better. Not so rude.
"You do not seem like one who would so easily obey orders."
~*~
Heh. He sounds like he knows me!
Either that or he's been talking to Ray.
~*~
"I'm not, really..at all. I don't do orders."
"Do they seek to tame you?"
Huh? What the hell did that mean?
"Tame me? What do you mean?" I think I had my mouth hanging open. I must've looked like a guppy.
"You seem.." He stared for a second, then made a vague, swish-y gesture with one hand. "Wild."
~*~
Stop laughing. You're turning blue.
And will you get up off the floor? It wasn't THAT funny!
I can be wild!
~*~
"Me, wild? Uh, no. Just.." I made that same, weird, swish-y gesture. "Independent."
Elladan echoed the gesture, grinning at me. "Independent?"
I nodded. "Independent."
"I don't think I've met a woman of such great independence."
"Well, we're rare."
Why did he keep grinning at me? And what, I mean, really, what did I know about the sons of Elrond, anyway? Except that they were twins and older than Arwen and probably prettier than her, too.
~*~
Uh, yeah, they were pretty. Hadn't I just SAID that?
Dig the wax out of your ears. Jeez.
~*~
Author - Paige Darke
Rating - PG-13
Disclaimer - Not mine. I don't even particularly want them. Too much stress.
Distribution - Ask, and ye shall receive. Really, I'm flattered.
Summary - A teenage girl is dropped into Middle-Earth. She finds herself the prisoner of a pair of Mary-Sues, with a complete lack of modern conveniences, reading material in ENGLISH, and everything she knows. And she most DEFINITELY does NOT want to be there.
Unfortunately, Elrond not impressed with us. Or maybe it was them. He kept givin' me some mighty funny looks.
Course that might have been because I was singing 'Unwell' - y'know, that kickass Matchbox 20 song - and twiddling my thumbs while staring around the room like I didn't know where I was.
Nah. Couldn't possibly be that.
~*~
"What is your business here?" asked the pretty Elf-Lord.
Mitanna - the blonde one - gave him her best smile and curtsey. "We are but weary travelers, my Lord, sent by our fathers on a quest of gravest importance."
Leilanni also stepped forward. "We are from the Hidden Lands, beyond the shadows of Mordor. It has been decide that we can no longer hide ourselves away from this world, and must help defeat the darkness that has fallen."
"That is why we have come. My name is Mitanna, of the House of the Golden Star, and this is my dearest friend, Leilanni of the House of the Silver Moon."
One of the twins turned to look at me. "And what of your companion?"
Huh? Me? What the hell do I have to do with this?
~*~
And that's what you GET for daydreaming during important meetings.
Shame on me. Shame.
~*~
Leilanni was glaring at me. Yeah, screw you too, bitch.
"Her?" Mitanna squeaked.
No, dumbass, the OTHER companion you didn't introduce.
~*~
No, there was only the three of us. Go look up the word sarcastic in the dictionary, will you?
Now stop interrupting.
~*~
Maybe the blonde didn't come from a bottle. Go figure.
Leilanni elbowed her slightly ditzy companion and went back to fawning at the Lord of Rivendell. "She is Kayli, of the fallen House of the Black Rose, and our hand-maiden."
~*~
Hand-maiden, my ass. If they thought I was going to do their bidding, they had another thing coming.
~*~
They didn't seem to care that I even LOOKED like I didn't want to be their hand-maiden. One of the twins smiled at me.
Oh, yum.
~*~
They showed us to our rooms. Glorfindel and one of the twins showed the Twits to their rooms, and the other twin - Elladan, as it turns out - showed me to mine.
No where near Blondie and Red, thank God. Or the Valar, I guess.
"Are you truly their hand-maiden?" Elladan asked.
Uh, they WISH, studly.
"Why ask?"
Sounded much better. Not so rude.
"You do not seem like one who would so easily obey orders."
~*~
Heh. He sounds like he knows me!
Either that or he's been talking to Ray.
~*~
"I'm not, really..at all. I don't do orders."
"Do they seek to tame you?"
Huh? What the hell did that mean?
"Tame me? What do you mean?" I think I had my mouth hanging open. I must've looked like a guppy.
"You seem.." He stared for a second, then made a vague, swish-y gesture with one hand. "Wild."
~*~
Stop laughing. You're turning blue.
And will you get up off the floor? It wasn't THAT funny!
I can be wild!
~*~
"Me, wild? Uh, no. Just.." I made that same, weird, swish-y gesture. "Independent."
Elladan echoed the gesture, grinning at me. "Independent?"
I nodded. "Independent."
"I don't think I've met a woman of such great independence."
"Well, we're rare."
Why did he keep grinning at me? And what, I mean, really, what did I know about the sons of Elrond, anyway? Except that they were twins and older than Arwen and probably prettier than her, too.
~*~
Uh, yeah, they were pretty. Hadn't I just SAID that?
Dig the wax out of your ears. Jeez.
~*~