"One Week." Chapter 2: Toy Rapier? I think not!

Once Donkey had learned to walk around on two legs without falling over constantly, Shrek and Fiona helped him back to the house.

"Oh man this is weird. So I have… six and a half days now, right?"

"About," Shrek said.

"So how are you going to go about finding your love, Donkey?" Fiona asked.

"Weeeeell…" Donkey stretched the word out. "I was really just gonna get a horse or something and go riding around the kingdoms, looking for my love."

"That's it?" Shrek asked. "What were you going to do about food, water, supplies. You can't eat anything anymore. Your human body can eat certain things."

"Oh… I hadn't thought a that. Uh, could you guys lend me some stuff?" Donkey affected his 'Puss Eyes' and stared at the couple. It was only two minutes before they gave in.

"All right!"

Three hours later, Donkey was as equipped as one could be when being prepared by ogres. He had a horse from the carriage, (its twin remaining in the paddock that Shrek had built,) a pack full of clothing that was too small for Shrek that Fiona had quickly mended, several knives and daggers from men that had attacked the swamp and failed, and two saddlebags full of food, water, money, and valuables that could be sold or traded for supplies. As he waved goodbye from horseback, Shrek and Fiona waved back. They had had to tie him loosely to the saddle to keep him on, but hopefully he would learn some balance before he managed to untie himself.

"Yah!" Donkey weakly nudged the horse in the sides with his heels, and it took off towards Far Far Away.

"Bye, guys!"

"Yeehaa!"

After he was out of sight, Shrek and Fiona turned to each other. "Yeehaa?"

After a few hours, Donkey's legs were starting to go numb.

"Man, without Shrek here, I'm bored! There's nothing to do!"

He started popping his lips, but the once-favorite pastime's fun faded without the ogre there to complain about it.

"This trip is never gonna end," he lamented. There really wasn't anything to look at. He was riding through a forest, much like the one where that Shirley Bassey shaped bush was, and all that he could see were trees, bushes, rocks, and flowers. Boring. He sighed, and tried to focus inwardly like the Fairy Godmother had told him.

"Focus on your heart- no, your soul- no- just- focus on the inner you! If you focus on your inner self, and sort of expand your consciousness and think really hard about your true love in a form of- love, then maybe you'll get an image of them, and where to go. You'll feel an inner tugging in a certain direction. Go with it."

So to pass the time, he focused inwardly, and thought about how much he wanted someone- someone to love him unconditionally, even through spats and rough spots. After a few minutes of intense thinking, he was surprised- not to see an image- but to feel a tugging, sort of at his heart. Not a physical tugging, but the one you get when you watch a soap opera, or a fluffy romance, or-

Donkey shook his head. "Wrong way." He tugged the horse's reins toward the left, towards a different path, to the Poison Apple.

'Why would my true love be in that direction?' he wondered, then shrugged it off and let the tired horse move at its own pace towards his destination. He had six days, after all.

Finally, after two morehours, he finally reached The Poison Apple, and managed to untie himself from his horse, falling off of it in the process. He tied it to the hitching post, and a second of thought managed to convince him to take his bags in with him, as the clientele of the bar weren't exactly the most… honest of people.

Inside, the one-handed piano player was still playing, now singing a new song.

"And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone

Sing us a song you're the piano man!
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood
for a melody and you got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here.

"

Donkey liked the new tune, but didn't let it stop him. He went determinedly to the bar, passing a man with black hair, black eyes, and black clothing, holding a staff with a large diamond on the top. Inside was what appeared to be a human heart. Donkey shuddered and turned to the bar, bypassing the strange man's companion, even odder though she was, if you took in the fact that the lower half of her body was that of an octopus, with eight tentacled legs.

"Uh, excuse me," he tried to get the bartenders attention. "Hey, have you seen a-" his voice trailed off when the barkeep turned around.

"'Ave I seen a wot?"

Donkey stared. The bartender was definitely not the Ugly Stepthing. This bartender was- Donkey gulped- a banshee. She had long dark hair, a green dress, and a gray cloak. Her skin that wasn't falling off was a pale gray, and she was painfully thin. Skin hung off of her arms and face in shreds, and some looked like they were about to fall right off. He wondered if that was sanitary. Should someone call the Health Inquisition?

"Uh, yeah. I was wonderin', have you seen or heard about anything that wasn't human suddenly turning into a human like uh, this morning?" The bartender's red-rimmed eyes shot towards a huddled figure at the end of the bar, then back towards him.

"Nay," she whispered. "I havena seen a thing. Sorry, lad."

"Alright." He put his bags down between him and the bar and ordered a pitcher of ale, and used it to cover his interest in the figure on the other end of the bar. A pale hand shot out of the cloak to grab a shot of brandy, add it to a glass of milk, and lift the milk toward the upper body, and green eyes suddenly glowed out of a gap. Donkey watched as the being quickly drank the doctored milk, shakily put the glass down, and rise. As the figure shakily moved towards the door, a sword showed through a fold, and the way the figure walked clinched it for Donkey. He knew this creature, even if he didn't remember how or who it was. He rose, grabbed his bags, threw a few coins on the counter to pay for his drink, and followed the figure out of the bar. Outside, it started to wander down the road. He quickly tied the bags back onto the horse, and jumped on, forgetting only one thing- his horrible sense of balance. He slid off the other side and landed in the dirt.

"Damn." Donkey looked up and the figure was gone. "Oh maaan." He grabbed the horse's reins and started dragging it along behind him, in the direction that the figure had taken. After a while, it started to drizzle, and he cursed himself inwardly for not bringing a cloak or anything to cover himself with. After a bit, he caught up with the figure, who was walking along at a steady, quick pace. A half hour passed with neither being stopping for a rest, and Donkey thought that his legs were going to give out soon. He glanced back to check on the horse, and when he looked back up, the figure had vanished again. He frantically looked around for any movement in the underbrush- nothing. "Damn!" he cursed again. Suddenly something rustled behind him in the bushes. He looked back too late. Something light landed on him, and he landed on his back in the mud, with the figure standing on top of him, a rapier pointed at Donkey's throat. Said rapier looked ridiculously small for the figure, but a weapon was a weapon, and when it was pointed at Donkey, he wasn't going to argue.

"Who are you?" the figure asked. "Why have you been following me?"

Donkey blinked. The accented voice sounded so familiar, why couldn't he place it?

"I'm… uh, looking for someone."

"Who?"

"A… person who turned into a human this morning. Uh, you wouldn't happen to be that person?" Donkey asked, praying that this wasn't that person.

The figure froze. "Madre de dios. Donkey?"

The named individual took the opportunity to grab his captor's feet and pull them towards his face, unbalancing the figure and causing him to land next to Donkey in the mud. His hood flew back, revealing his face. At first glance, Donkey didn't recognize him, but- certain qualities of the face prompted him to immediately think of a cat- the angular jawbone, the high cheekbones, the almond shaped slit-pupiled green eyes, and the almost pointed ears, but the wild hair that was streaked with different shades of orange, and the rapier especially, made him think of a specific cat, specifically one with boots. Donkey and the unknown studied each other for a few minutes, each sensing something- familiar in each other, and a link between them that was growing stronger by the second, before Donkey uttered the one word that completed the bond.

"Puss?"