I would like to thank all my kind reviewers. I'm too lazy to look up your names right now, but I'll do something about that next chapter.

~*~

Chapter 5

Wanna know something? I suck. I can't hold a sword to save my life. Elrohir's getting frustrated, and Elladan's out and out pissed off

Arwen, bless her heart, is trying her damnedest to be soothing. Glorfindel is trying not to laugh.

Finally, I throw the sword down and glare at the twin across from me. I think it's Elrohir. I can't tell, though, they switched their braids on me. "I quit, ok? This just isn't me."

Glorfindel sighs and stands. "You must. Otherwise, you will allow Leilanni and Mitanna their free rein throughout this Middle-Earth, and who knows what damage they shall cause? Perhaps it is your purpose to fight their evil designs."

I wonder for a moment if all Elves talk so pretty, then I shake myself back to reality. "I can't even hold the damn thing right."

Arwen comes up and puts her arm around my shoulders. "'Tis only your first lesson. It takes many to master the sword. Sometimes centuries."

"I don't HAVE centuries. I have weeks. Two of them. Short little weeks." I run a hand through my hair and make a face. "Dammit, I'm whining again." I bend down and pick up the sword. "OK, let's try this again."

~*~

Two weeks of nearly constant practice later, I can almost disarm one of the twins if I catch them exactly the right way. Almost. There's a gash on my upper arm that's going to scar, and Glorfindel's ready to start bragging about how good I've gotten. We did, however, give up on the sword. 'It's not my weapon,' is what Glorfindel said, and the twins agreed.

Now I'm learning knives. And I'm GOOD, that's the thing that surprises me the most. Like I said, I can almost disarm the twins, and since they're two beings with centuries more weapons practice than I'll ever have, I'm actually kind of proud of that fact.

But we're leaving. I just finished packing my little bag, and I had my spiffy dark cloak. Aragorn arranged to get me a staff so I wouldn't be completely unarmed. I think they don't trust me with sharp objects.

I think Mitanna might have told them that. I mean, c'mon, hair grows back, right?

The clothes are new. Arwen had arranged for them, since my other clothes had been pretty much ruined by my little practice sessions with the twins. I had a loose fitting white shirt, one of those ones with the lace-up collar usually seen on pirates. It came under a sort of leather vest with a belt and a pair of soft brown leggings and knee-high boots. I looked spiffy, like a Rangerly native.

I walk out towards the gate, and the Twins are waiting for me, with Arwen. Arwen looks very sad, and I think I know why. Aragorn just told her to get lost.

~*~

OK, I know he didn't actually tell her to get lost, he wants her to leave because he loves her so much and wants her to live forever. But that's basically saying she should get lost because he's such a loser.

And a mortal loser to boot. I bet her dad would agree.

~*~

Anyway. I grin at them, and Elladan pulls me into a fond embrace.

~God, I'm starting to talk like these damn Elves...~

"We've got a present for you, young one," Elladan says, and holds up a pair of long-bladed, beautifully crafted knives.

Elrohir smiles. "They are of Elven make, nearly weightless and perfectly balanced. They will aid you greatly in your coming battles."

I smile and take them, tucking them into the tops of my boots. That DOES explain why Arwen got me the tall boots. "Did you tell anybody else you were getting me knives?"

The two of them kind of jump and exchange guilty glances. "Um...no."

"Well, Glorfindel knows."

"Well, yes, but it WAS his idea."

"We didn't tell Father, though. Or Aragorn."

"They wouldn't understand."

"Perhaps they could be a surprise for your rather vile companions."

I blinked at them, then looked at Arwen. "Did you follow that?"

Arwen laughs at that. It's beautiful, like the tolling of bells. With someone as stunning as she, how can Aragorn bear to be parted from her?

"Yes, I did, but it takes much practice." She takes my hands and draws me forward. "I have a gift for you, as well, my Lady." She reaches into her sleeve and pulls out a pair of elaborate, beautifully carved, ivory...

Knitting needles.

I can't help but laugh, and I hug her. "Thank you, my Lady."

She grins at me, this huge, all-out expression of pleasure. "Consider them payment for what you did to Mitanna."

Elladan lets out a hoot of laughter. Elrohir tries to look disapproving.

"Did you really cut off her hair? With her own dagger?" Elladan asks, grinning at me.

"Not ALL of it."

~

They escort me to the gates, the only friends I have in this world, and of course I'm leaving them behind. Life just sucks sometimes, you know?

Arwen gives me another hug, and then Elladan pulls me close. "Be careful, little one."

"Little one?" I beg your pardon?

Elladan just looks at me, very seriously. I think I like it better when he's being the teasing flirt. "I apologize, but you know the meaning for my warning. You must watch your back."

I smile and kiss his cheek. "I'm not worried about my back. If they kill me, they're gonna want me to see it coming."

Elrohir hisses. "Vile women." He says that a lot, have you noticed? If only it weren't so true.

I smile and hug him too. "I'll be careful. I promise."

~

We've been on the road, oh, more or less a week. Aragorn's been leading, being all studly, manly Ranger guy. Boromir's angsting more than the entire cast of Dawson's Creek, and I swear his shoulder twitches every time Legolas comes within ten feet of him. He's been teaching Merry and Pippin how to fight using the little swords Aragorn gave them, although they all call him Strider, except Frodo. I heard that tale from Sam.

Gandalf's being all wise and wizardly, carrying his staff and wearing a pointy hat. Every time I look at it, I feel like giggling and yelling "Pointy hat trick!" Which just goes to show what I did when I was back home.

Merry and Pippin are learning sword-fighting from Boromir. Merry's good. Pippin's huggable. Sam's fussing over Frodo. Frodo's angsting only slightly less the Boromir. Gimli's being...Dwarvish, is what I would call it. He's honorable, brave, and very honest. I like him, actually.

And then there's Legolas, who is just plain ol' studly. He's gorgeous, moving or standing still. When he practices archery or when he gives Gimli exasperated looks.

And Leilanni's noticed it too. She's permanently attached to his side. He's very polite, but does not go out of his way to encourage her. Of course, he hasn't said word one to me, so I'm not gonna get my hopes about him tossing her off Caradhras and throwing himself into my arms.

Mitanna, however, very rarely gets the occasion to hotglue herself to Aragorn. I think he does it on purpose.

And me? Well, every one pretty much tunes me out. I'm quiet, most of the time. The only people I've had real conversations with are Boromir, Gimli, and Pippin, who goes out of his way to be nice to everybody. Not Aragorn- nice, 'I'm-the-leader-so-I'm-nice-and-polite-to-everybody-even-you' nice, but genuine 'I-honestly-just-like-everybody-'cause-I'm-young-innocent-and- huggable' Pippin-nice. Merry's actually the same way. And Sam, but those two spend most of their time close to Frodo.

And Pippin-nice is the reason Boromir is so damn protective of the Hobbits. They're just too damn cute.

~

So we come to the rocky hill-place where we're gonna get to experience our cheap reenactment of 'The Birds.' Frodo and Sam settle down to cook lunch. Boromir and the Hobbits start their little sword-fighting instructional. Legolas puts some distance in between himself and Leilanni, who's trying to be multi-talented and help with the cooking. Sam keeps giving her irritated looks, and Frodo tries to smile, but mostly it looks like a grimace of pain.

Aragorn is smoking his pipe, putting in little comments towards the lesson. Mitanna's sitting next to him, staring at him. I notice for the first time that he's wearing Arwen's pendant. Me, I'm sitting off to the side, trying to stay out of everybody's way.

Aragorn tells the Hobbits to move their feet. Boromir gets in a shot that cuts Pippin's hand. Boromir drops his sword, rushing forward to apologize. I bite back a giggle as Pippin kicks him in the shin and the two of them take him down. Then I outright laugh when Aragorn goes over to break it up and the tackle him to the ground.

Legolas glances at me. OK, I realize this isn't your typical fangirl urge, but every time he looks at me, I feel like I should just turn around and run the other way.

And I realize, as I think this, that there are several girl back on Earth – as opposed to Middle-Earth – who would take full advantage of this situation and hit on him until he either gave in or killed them. But, see, I could never do that. I'm too shy.

~HA! More cheap flashback effects!~

About a month and a half ago, I went out to dinner with some of my friends. Benji, who was just desperate to get away from her hellions – she was a destined single-child parent with two stepkids and one of her own, all with in four years of each other. Kristen, who didn't wanna sit at home while her husband was at work. Barry, who had a good home life but was just bored. Kari, who didn't have such a good homelife, and both of whom were too young to go to a bar. Come to think of it, so am I, for another two months. Matt, the doomed only guy, and Molly, who needed a break from planning the wedding. We were just sitting around, having a good meal and some good conversation.

Benji leaned over the table to talk to me. "You know why you don't date, Kay?"

"Well, yeah, but I'm sure you're going to tell me your enlightened reasoning for it."

Benji shook her head. I love her to death, but once she gets on a topic, she rides it until it's dead. And then she resurrects it for further conversational pain. "You need to actually notice the guys who hit on you."

Matt felt the need to join the conversation. "Like that guy a few minutes ago."

I looked around in confusion. "There was a guy? What guy? Where was I when there was a guy?"

"Oooh, she's a poet," Barry said. I think she was mocking me. I glared at her.

"You completely ignored him. I think that you try to avoid dating so you don't have to talk to anybody," Kristen said. Benji nodded her agreement.

"I talk to people! I talk to you guys all the time!"

"But no guys." That was from Molly. Everybody ganged up on me that night.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Matt asked.

"No, you're her big brother," Kari said. "You don't count. I know why she avoids people. She's shy."

I groaned. "Yes, I'm shy, OK? Shut up."

Kristen laughed at me. "I can't wait until fate drops your perfect guy in your lap!"

~End with more cheap flashback effects!~

I really, really should've knocked on wood after that. I think she jinxed me.

No, that's just me being arrogant and presumptious. Legolas is not my perfect guy. Well, yeah, he'd be good for me, but just about anybody would be. I have issues like you wouldn't believe.

I check back into reality when I hear Sam ask what that is, and Gimli say it's just a wisp of cloud.

"It's moving fast, against the wind," Boromir points out.

Legolas gives Gimli a 'so there!' look. "Crebain from Dunland!"

Aragorn yells out from my right. "Hide!"

Sam douses the fire, everyone grabs their gear rolls under rocks and bushes. Poor Twits looked completely out of their league.

I grin at them. Mitanna glares at me.

"The passage south is being watched," Gandalf says. "We must take the path of Caradhras."

I hate heights.

TBC...